PSA: Don't Move to Wisconsin

We live very close to one of the many trailheads on the Ice Age Trail, a 1000-mile foot path through the state of Wisconsin that follows the geographical features that remain from the glaciers that passed through this region and created its unique landscapes.  We regularly hike this area and the interactions between us and the other hikers almost always goes like this:

Them (we do not initiate contact because we suck/are introverts): Hey/hello/howdy. Nice day for a hike, isn't it?  (This is to be said even if it is 30 below zero, pouring rain, or 700 degrees with 90% humidity - it is the midwest, this is how we are.)

Us:  Yep.

Them: Better make sure you check for ticks when you leave. There are a lot of ticks out here.

Us: Yep.

End scene.

I am being a bit sarcastic in the title saying don't move to Wisconsin. The geography is lovely and there is much outdoorsy to do, if you are so inclined.  We really are enjoying our time here, but I wish I didn't have to wear long-sleeves, jeans, hiking boots, gloves, a hat, and DEET when we go hiking.  Maybe next time we'll move to Wyoming.

May 2013 Books

The Templeton Twins Have an Idea by Jeremy Holmes and Ellis Weiner (library ebook)- Ugh. Precocious kids. Obnoxious narrator.  I just...can't recommend this book.

Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (library book) - Purported to be the diary of a fifteen year old drug user but an actual work of fiction is depressing as hell.  It serves as a cautionary tale of drug use and the consequences of marijuana, LSD, and a variety of pharmaceutical quality pills, but I'm not sure I would have related to the narrator when I was a kid.  Her life is just too perfect, to be honest, before she starts using drugs. I don't know. The copyright date is 1971, but I feel like it holds up pretty well over time as a preachy, don't use drugs kind of book.

Finding Nouf by Zoe Ferraris (library book) - This book is set in Jeddah in Saudi Arabia and follows our main protagonist as he attempts to figure out the fate of a young woman named Nouf.  I found the book oppressive, but I actually say that as a good thing because the author did a great job of showing the restrictive nature of women's lives in the Middle East.  I don't know if it was the best mystery in the world, but it was an intriguing look at the culture in modern Saudi Arabia.

Afterwards by Rosamund Lupton (library ebook) - I don't envy the author the job of attempting to have a ghost narrate.  I was frequently confused by the "you" of the second person narration and had to remind myself over and over again that the narrator was speaking to her husband, not to me, the reader.  But, you know what?  It was a fun little read.  It's not going to blow your mind or anything, but it was a fun read.

Lost in Planet China: One Man's Attempt to Understand the World's Most Mystifying Nation by J. Maarten Troost (library ebook) - Hilarious.  A travel narrative in the humorous style of Bill Bryson. I really, really, really enjoyed this.

The Last Policeman by Ben H. Winters (library ebook) - I really liked this one, too.  I enjoyed the combination of genres here with apocalyptic dystopia and mystery smashed together. It's the first in a trilogy and I'm looking forward to reading more from Winters.

Yes, Chef: A Memoir by Marcus Samuelsson and Veronica Chambers (library ebook) - I watch Chopped a lot.  Probably more than is healthy. So I looked forward to reading this book since Samuelsson is a regular judge on that show. But I just can't with this book. He leaves his daughter fatherless and doesn't even bother to meet her until she is a teenager. Why? Because he's a chef?  Because he's a selfish jerkwad?  Because he's a self-absorbed egomaniac? Also, it pissed me off to no end that he didn't thank his daughter in the pages of rambling acknowledgements at the end.

The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger (library book) - A friend with an eight-year-old boy told me that her son really loved this book. I can see why. I think it really gets the awkwardness and uncertainty of a certain age.  But the book doesn't really stand up as enjoyable for adults, I'm afraid.  But your tweens will love it.

The Witch's Daughter by Paula Brackston (library book) - The writing in this book is ponderous. It was like wading through mud to get to the point and many, many time I had to reread sentences just to understand the meaning.

The First Husband by Laura Dave (library ebook) -  This book had some delightfully funny parts to it.  I don't truly understand the development of characters here, but I almost felt like it was because I was being too judgmental and mean. Anyway, I did laugh (out loud, natch) frequently throughout the book, so it was a successful light, fluffy read for me.  I wouldn't say I loved it, nor would I say that three weeks from now I'll remember having read it, but it's fine beach or bathtub reading.

Five Years

We've been married for five years now.  It sounds like a lot, really, but it feels like those years have just flown by. 

We just finished A Week.  You know the kind - with doctor's appointments, car recalls, a funeral, and so many birthdays - the kind that has you whipping your head around and wondering what is going to happen next to throw you off your balance.  But at the end of the week, we took a hike on the Ice Age Trail. It was a cool, clear day just perfect for wandering about in the woods, listening to the birds chirp and the leaves rustle. It was a perfect to be together.

Here's to five more years.

Lifestyle of the Dull and Cat-Obsessed

Last summer, I was unhappy with so many things in my life. It spurred me to make some changes that included working out more, watching what I ate, and being more mindful of my body. It took well over six months before working out was just something I did, not something I necessarily dreaded. It took even longer before I finally got that promised "extra energy" that comes with working out.

I'm not perfect. Sometimes I skip a day here or there or call twenty minutes of yoga "working out."  I still buy Yoplait yogurt, don't quite get enough servings of fruits and vegetables each day, and buy prepackaged salad dressing and tortillas.  But we recently bought shares in a CSA and we're looking forward to half a bushel of locally grown, organic fruits and vegetables every week from June through October.  I'm going to work on making our own yogurt, beef jerky, and bread over the summer.  Slowly but surely we're making changes that make me happy.

I'm not as happy about some of my lifestyle habits, especially my cheap fashion choices.  The recent factory fire in Bangladesh that killed hundreds of people really drives this home to me.  The things I love to wear the most are the things I have paid the most for - things like my Mephisto Helen sandals (made in Austria) and my Ann Valentine eyeglasses (made in France).  These are also things that are made in countries with strict labor standards.

So I'm going to work on this. I'm going to work on buying things locally when possible. It is incredibly difficult to buy garments manufactured in the United States, but I'm going to attempt to do it as frequently as I can and, failing that, to buy from companies with safe and humane labor practices. I will slowly weed out my clothing and accessories so that I have fewer items, but all items will be things I love and things I know will make me happy when I wear them.

To start, I'm going to throw out/recycle/take to Goodwill fifty items in our house.  Clothing that stresses me out/does not fit/does not make me feel fabulous will be the first thing to go.  I'll keep you updated on how that goes. We actually have moved so frequently recently that I feel like I've done a good job of weeding things out, but I'm going to force myself into an even more stripped down lifestyle with the idea that a simplified lifestyle will help me to feel more excited about my life when I wake up in the morning.

And, because I know you have missed her, here is a picture of Zellybean.  I will not be getting rid of her.  She's too cute, you know.

April 2013 Books

The Evolution of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin (library book) - For some reason, I thought this was the first book in the trilogy, but it was really the second. I didn't really need to read the first book to figure out what was going on, though, so it was fine.  But I feel like this book set up a false dichotomy - you either have to be crazy OR you can be stalked and the truth is that this character is both.  It was over-simplistic and silly.  I will not be reading anymore of this trilogy, but the four and a half stars on amazon for this book indicate I am in a minority.

Curveball: The Year I Lost My Grip by Jordan Sonnenblick (library book) - I love, love, love anything Sonnenblick writes and this was no exception.  He's like Sarah Dessen for boys only he writes more consistently well. I loved this.

Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi (library book) - I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was about this book that I didn't like until it hit me that I still just didn't understand the basics of setting.  If you're going to build a world, a new world, you have to be much more clear than Rossi is.  I don't understand the basics of the geography of this world and, even more I didn't understand any of the history that got us there.  I get the whole "dropped into the world and seeing it through a character's eyes" but if you're going to do that, you need some expository character somewhere early on so that the readers have at least a freaking clue what's going on. It was perfectly readable even though I don't know exactly why the storms are so bad, what all the Scires can do, and what the Unity was, but when I put the book down I was mildly confused and perplexed and blah.  Don't feel like you have to read this book.

The Unwanted by John Saul (library ebook) - Saul can make a tense, spooky setting.  Unfortunately, he can't really develop characters, so there's that. I don't know. It was creepy, but not all that compelling in the end.

The Doomsday Book by Connie Willis (library ebook) -  I usually abhor both historical fiction and books that include time travel as a plot device.  This book, though, sold me on both of those things. I loved, loved, loved this book.  I want to own this book and reread it all the time. I want to memorize passages and read them out loud. I want Dunworthy to be my grandpa.  You should read this book. And then you should think about it for a couple of days and then pick it up and read it all over again. 

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami (library ebook) - This book took me every single day of my 21-day ebook lending period to read.  It was so so so long.  I didn't love this book, but I found it oddly compelling.  But there are so many unanswered questions that I could answer with explanations based on magical realism (waves hands and explains everything with MAGIC), but I think it's poor writing if a smart reader ends the book still wondering who the NHK collector was and how exactly human conception without intercourse happens because nothing about the magic is explained or even hypothesized about in the book.  Regardless, the book was compelling and I really wanted to know what happened, so I kept plodding along, interested in our characters.  Mixed review on this one.

Paper Towns by John Green (library book) - Sometimes I feel like Green's main characters are a tad too precocious for me. I was a smart teenager, but these teenagers seem to be just over the top in their brilliance, but I can overlook that because the books are so witty, the relationships are so real, and the dialogue almost always makes me laugh.  I enjoyed this book a lot.

The Art Forger by B. A. Shapiro (library ebook) -  I learned a lot about how forgeries are made and how rampant forgery is in the art world. But the overarching plot was predictable, although there were occasional side plots that I found somewhat surprising, and the writing was a bit flat.  So, it was a good, fun read but it's not going to change your life.

The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup and a Spool of Thread by Kate DiCamillo (library ebook) - This is a good book, but I really liked The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane better. I find the narrator speaking to the reader in Despereaux a bit too precious for my tastes.

Confessions #4 and #5

Confession #4: My Nieces and Nephews Make Me Never Want to Have a Child

We were visiting the in-laws over Easter weekend when the first thoughts really struck me. I really, really do not want that life - the screaming, the kids hyped up on sugar and thoughts of an imaginary creature delivering them presents in the morning, the snotty noses getting rubbed against your pants, the rereading of Mud Pie for Mother for the eightieth time, the six o'clock wake-ups, the look on their faces right after you tell them not to touch something for the four hundredth time and they do it anyway. 

I lost my patience on Saturday afternoon around four o'clock, three hours after the family with four kids arrived unannounced after their Easter brunch at the fucking country club, waking up the other 3 kids who had just been laid down for naps, so we were dealing with seven kids, none of whom had naps and all of whom were jacked up on chocolate and the presence of other children. I started putting whiskey in my coffee and never stopped until the kids were in bed.

I lost my patience on Sunday morning when the squealing over Easter baskets took place two stories away and I could hear it. I lost my patience on Sunday morning when the twenty-four month old who does not say any words except baby, mama, and yeah was suddenly put in my charge and he went around attempting to destroy everything in his sight. I lost my patience on Sunday morning when my oldest niece did not play nice with the Easter egg hunt and kept finding everyone else's eggs (they were color coded by child) and instead of leaving them, kept stacking them up in a pile.  By two on Sunday afternoon, I was huddled in our room upstairs, reading my Kindle, and pretending not to notice the screaming of children or the questioning of my poor husband as to where I was.

By the time we left on Sunday afternoon, I was pretty sure I am not maternally motivated. No matter how many times people say it would be different if they were my children, I'm pretty sure that it would not be. I can not deal with these children. 

Confession #5: I Am Resentful of My Sister

My sister is getting married in August. I really am happy for her, but I'm incredibly frustrated by the whole hoopla surrounding her wedding. 

My parents gave us $X for our wedding and my mother is spending $X x 4 for my sister's wedding.  My sister, who has lived with my mother (and father when he was alive) for her entire life.  My sister who has never paid a dime of rent or a dime towards the utilities to run the household.  My sister who is still currently on my mother's car insurance plan.  My sister, who, by my account, should have approximately a gazillion dollars in the bank.

And if that isn't enough, my mother is taking my sister and my sister's fiance on a trip to Ireland next month.  BB and I did not get a all-inclusive international trip when we got married.  

When my mother was here last week, I tried to subtly point out that I don't care about the inequality between what I was given and what she's been given (I even sort of mean that - our wedding was beautiful - but I sort of don't - it has come to be equated with how much more my parents prefer my sister to me), but I'm concerned about the sense of entitlement that my sister has.  My mom said my sister is fine and her fiance will continue to take care of her from her on out in the same way.

Anyway, it's nothing to me. Except for that little voice in the back of my head that tells me that this is just further proof of my mom's favoritism.  I think it's absolutely fine for parents to have favorites, but I am having difficulty believing that the favoritism should be so explicitly acted upon.  And, just to be fair, my sister claims that I am the favorite daughter, so I guess it could just be a manifestation of the grass always being greener on the other side of the fence.

March 2013 Books

Things were dire this month, my friends. Dire. But don't worry. I just went to the library and took out a bunch of books, so I expect next month to be better.

Timecaster by Jack Kilborn and J.A. Konrath - If you like books with incredibly undeveloped characters where you can figure out the plot "twist" the first time you meet the villain, then you'll like this book.

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell - I struggle with books that discuss characters struggling with religion because religion is a non-starter in my own life.  But I thought this book handled it well, especially with the token atheist character thrown in (I always hate it when the atheists stop their skepticism, though, and just fall in line with the inevitable religious line, but that's my own issue, clearly.)  But I think that Speaker for the Dead did it better.  They are both good, though, so don't feel like can't read them both!!

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed - I have actually obtained this book from the library on three separate occasions, but could  not, just could not, work up the motivation to read it past the first two "woe is me" chapters, but I persevered because so many women I know and love kept recommending it to me.  I have seriously dislike for memoir.  It basically presumes that your life is actually worth people paying money to read about how exciting or worthy it is. Strayed does no research, walks around in the woods feeling sorry for herself, and writes a bestseller for her trouble.  There is nothing wrong with doing no research or feeling sorry for yourself when life is hard, but I just couldn't figure out why anyone would want to read about Strayed perpetuating stereotypes of womankind, let alone read about her sex life and drug use.  Anyway, this book did nothing to make me change my mind about memoirs.  I love Bill Bryson and I loved A Walk in the Woods.  It was way better than this nonsense. 

Dune by Frank Herbert -  I'm definitely in the minority on this one. I don't see this book as particularly groundbreaking or riveting. I was disappointed. I know it a classic of the sci-fi genre, but I just didn't feel it.

Calculated in Death by J.D. Robb - I think the publisher is just fooling with us now with the In Death series.  This was just a basic whodunit procedural with no character development and no interesting villains or victims. Seriously, something needs to shake this series up.  Maybe the death of a character (Mr. Mira seems pretty convenient - Eve has a crush on him, but he's not a major, major character and we could watch Dr. Mira and Eve sort through their feelings about it) or Peabody/Eve gets pregnant or Tibble/Whitney retires or something.  Anything, really.  These books are getting tired.