Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Yours Truly (Part of Your World #2) by Abby Jimenez

I have a seriously conflicted relationship with Abby Jimenez, the author of Yours TrulyThe Friend Zone pissed me off so badly that I swear my blood pressure goes skyrocketing when I even THINK about that book even though it honestly had the possibility of being a good book. The Happy Ever After Playlist was pretty good, though. Life's Too Short was terrible. 

So it was with some serious reservations that when Stephany recommended this book HIGHLY, I took it out from the library. And, boy was she right. This is a nearly perfect romance novel. 


Briana Ortiz's life is not great. Her brother is sick, her divorce is going to be final soon, and it looks like her promotion is on the line because of the new guy, Jacob. Plus the new guy is a bit of a dick. But then he writes her a letter (OMG! a letter! you know I got super pumped) explaining that he has anxiety and then it turns out he needs a fake girlfriend to attend a wedding.  I don't think I need to explain to any of you what happens next, do I?

Interesting characters: Oh, boy, do these two do it for me! Jacob is *whispers quietly* very much like my dear husband. I am not Briana, but the accommodations she makes for Jacob made me feel very seen. Your mileage may vary on these two, but they very very much appealed to me. Their banter is funny, there's a dog (Lieutenant Dan!), a cat (Cooter!), and relationships with people outside of their romantic relationships. Two thumbs up. (Don't sue me, Siskel and Ebert estates.)

Believable conflict: Yeah. These two are both getting out of intense long-term relationships and it's clear that they're reacting to the past relationships, which is totally understandable. They also do things like reflect on their own behavior and communicate about reasons for their actions later (sometimes in letters *I swoon*).

Emotional tension: Oh, yes!! They aren't physical for so long and I just want them to do a kiss on the cheek or something!!

Happily ever after: This is the "nearly" in "nearly a perfect romance novel." The ending. Uff-da. I have thoughts, but there are two main issues that I don't really want to say because it's a spoiler, but just know that if you despise this ending, you are not alone. 

4.5/5 stars (docked fully half a star because of that ending)

Lines of note:

I knew from years of therapy that I was ruminating. That the encounter had probably been nothing to her, but to me it felt like the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened. A decade from now I'd be lying in bed and my eyes would fly open and I'd remember the incredulous way she'd looked at m  - me, the guy who had the audacity to walk into her ER room and talk to her about running toward a critical patient, one she obviously knew and cared about. (page 22)

I have a recurring nightmare about a phone call I had when I was twelve or thirteen. True story. I won't share my trauma with you, but it's there.

I wondered if I could keep doing this. I was miserable here. I was miserable at Memorial, and I would probably be miserably wherever else I went too. Maybe this was my life now, just existing and hating every minute of it. (page 29)

Sometimes I think this is me. I'm the problem, not the world. 

I'd always known what I was and was not capable of, even as a child. Your parents tell you that you can grow up and be anything. But I knew from the earliest age that wasn't true. I remember my teacher telling me I could be president one day, and me replying that I didn't want to because I didn't like parades. (page 89)

1) I do not lie to my niblings about things like this. This started because I have a different view on religion than my in-laws and I promised myself that I'd never lie. I have answered direct questions about God, Santa, and comic book characters that differ greatly from how their parents would answer (and always reported to the parents so they would know if the kids had questions). I have also talked to my niece who has a severe physical disability about what her future job prospects are (i.e., you can be a landscape designer, but you're never going to be the person who plants the flowers).  

2) You could maybe be a flower. Or a gumball machine. Or a t-rex. (See the comments in Nicole's post to know what this about.)

Eating was intimate. It took me a long time to truly feel comfortable doing it in front of someone. (page 98)

My husband hates to have people watch him eat. Hates it. I don't make eye contact with him during meals; like he's a rescue dog at a shelter. 

"...but I have as much willpower as a piece of broccoli." (page 251)

This was hilarious. And goes to talk about the tension in this book. Also, this is how I feel about Payday candy bars. And gummy bears. 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

People in wedding veils and birthday hats hooting and cheering, shouting over the music. (page 11)

A selfie in front of Minnehaha Falls. She was wearing sunglasses and a gray baseball hat in that one. (page 84)

This book takes place in the Twin Cities, only you don't really know that except for a brief mention of Edina and this Minnehaha Falls namecheck. It still made me happy to be there. 

He had his hat-in-hand, puppy-dog look again. (page 139)

A squirrel in a cowboy hat and chaps riding a turtle. (page 149)

I'm not going to explain this quote. You just have to read the book yourself to learn!

Jacob looked relieved that his gift had hit the mark and turned back to me with the puppy-dog, hat-in-hand smile that always made my face go soft. (page 232)

Monday, March 18, 2024

Podcast Roundup March 2023

It's been a couple of months since I shouted out some podcast episodes. Here's what I've taken note of in the last eight weeks.

"Rescues at sea, and how to make a fortune" from Planet Money

Perhaps I am not a reliable source on things having to do with tales on the sea because I love them all, but this story about how an oil tanker saved a tugboat from certain sinking and then claimed salvage rights was super interesting. Maritime law is fascinating and if there are any future lawyers reading this, think about maritime law as a specialty! So interesting!

"The Lonesome Hearts of 1937" from Code Switch


This episode aired on Valentine's Day and was a really fun look at lonely hearts ads in newspapers in a post-slavery world. There was a bit where they were trying to find a good candidate for one of the hosts that made me laugh and laugh. This is a great bit of mixing in real history with a great storyline. I had no real knowledge of these classifieds and enjoyed reading them greatly. I feel like there's a kernel for some great historical romance novel in this. (On a more serious note, there was an episode from this same podcast called "Why menthol cigarettes have a chokehold on Black smokers" that was also filled with so much information on a topic I knew nothing about. Code Switch had sort of fallen off my radar for a bit, but I feel like it has gotten back in top form recently.)

"Deported and disgraced: the students wrongly accused of cheating" from Today in Focus


In 2014, more than 35,000 people were accused of cheating on the TOEIC (Test of English for International Communication) in the UK. Some students were deported back to their home countries, some students could stay with their reputations in tatters, many ended up with mental and physical health issues. In light of the weirdness that came out of the UK accusing many postal employees of fraud (see The Great Post Office Trial, a podcast I wrote about around this time last year), I am starting to feel a tiny bit of American superiority over all this. Anyway, fascinating story. 

"Susan Wokoma," "Sam Campbell," and "John Robins" from Off Menu (live episodes)



I have not been a loyal Off Menu listener. I listen when I know the guest, but even those I end up skipping about halfway through because sometimes it's not that great. I mean, when Off Menu hits, it hits, but there are more misses than hits. But they have been releasing some of the guests from their live shows at the end of last year and they are amazing. Susan Wokoma can barely stop laughing to complete her thoughts, Sam Campbell makes James Acaster look sensible, and John Robins messes with the format so badly that Ed and James don't even know what do with it. I was trying to listen to the Sam Campbell episode while working out and I had to turn it off because I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to drop a dumbbell.  

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Any great podcast episodes you've listened to recently? Or any great new songs? 



Friday, March 15, 2024

Five for Friday

This is a list I came up with while I was on a walk with Hannah. I kept stopping to add things to my notes app on my phone.

1) My favorite eyeshadow primer has been discontinued. Stay Don't Stray by Benefit has been a staple to my makeup game for a long, long time. I just did a search on my blog and I talked about it in 2011, so I've been using it for more than a decade. I do not know how to replace it. Here's what I've tried.

A sample of Rare Beauty Always an Optimist: They sell this as "weightless," but that is 100% inaccurate. It was very heavy, a very dark color (darker than my shadow!) and was incredibly hard to blend. Did not like. (I did like the other primers that I sampled, just not the eyeshadow primer.)

A travel size of Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion: This plain does not work. My eyeshadow has melted into the creases by noon.

I am begging for eyeshadow primer recommendations over here.

2) I heard "Beaches of Cheyenne" by Garth Brooks the other day and got all choked up. This song used to be just a sort of boring mid-tempo ballad for me back in the day, but I saw Garth in concert in Columbus in 2016 and now I legitimately think of this as one of my favorite Garth songs. There was something about how he performed it that really swayed me into thinking it's one of the most powerful songs ever. Do you have a song or an artist that you flipped when you saw them live (either for the better or for the worse?)?

3) I am currently doing a thing at work where I meet with students who are on academic warning or probation. These meetings tend to be a lot of me listening to students and making appropriate referrals, whatever they may be. I also will sometimes do advising about summer classes and I was working with a student on warning and said "okay, so this stats class is a six-week course, so it will be at an accelerated pace so don't work a 40-hour job at the same time because it will take a lot of time." The student said, "I'm not a bad student or stupid" which was NOT what I was saying at all. I flipped over her transcript, circled her first four semesters and said "this shows you're a good student" and then circled her last semester and said "this shows something bad happened. Now we're fixing that." 

Then she was crying and then I was crying. 

The kids are having a rough time out there. 

4) Two of my beloved podcasts are coming to an end. 60 Songs That Explain the '90s just released its last episode. One of the hosts of Let's Go To Court is leaving podcasting, so that one is also ending. I am not ashamed to admit that my Wednesdays are going to be a bit drearier from here on out. I'm not really looking for new podcasts because I think if I whittled down my podcast listening I could actually listen to more audiobooks, which would be good for me, but I am still sad. 

5) Late-stage capitalism sighting at the grocery store last night.

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Hit me with eyeshadow primer recs, songs that you've flipped on, and what your favorite sugar cereal is. 

Thursday, March 14, 2024

Vicious (Villains #1) by V.E. Schwab

Vicious (Villains #1) by V.E. Schwab came into my life via that massive 100 Best Fantasy Books by Women list from r/reddit. Victor and Eli are college friends who share an interest in the conditions that create people who have extraordinary abilities. Soon they give themselves some of those abilities and they become enemies. Along the way, we meet other "EOs," a girl, a dog, and a hacker. 


I listened to this as an audiobook and it was fine. I was interested enough that I considered listening to the audiobook of the second book right away, but it wasn't available for immediate download, so now I have the second one tagged at TBR, but will it ever make my list of actual holds? I guess we'll see. 

It's tough because both Eli and Victor are legitimate bad guys. It feels like a Breaking Bad situation and, loyal readers who've been around for a long time might remember that I never got past the part in Breaking Bad when Walter White watched a woman die. But the book eventually brings in a child and a dog and, hey, I am immediately swayed into caring about the outcome when there is a dog involved. So, if you're into books with morally questionable characters, a little magic, and a dog named Dol, you might like this. 3.5/5 stars

Lines of note:

Is this what normal seniors did? Drank and danced with bodies interlocking like puzzle pieces to music loud enough to drown out thoughts? (timestamp 2:10:22) 

Sometimes I hear that people go to bars and I get confused. Why is that fun? I could be at home reading a book with a cat on my lap. 

He appreciated Mitch's incongruities. They made him interesting. (timestamp 4:20:07)

I was talking with a student today. He was ill-kempt with crazy hair and a backpack covered in patches of metal bands. He also had a 4.0 and was talking very earnestly about an internship over the summer. He was super interesting.

Each page had a block of text, lines of stolen information, names and ages and brief medical summaries following brief lines on their respective accidents or traumas, psych notes, police reports, antipsychotic and painkiller prescriptions. Information distilled. Messy lives made neat. (timestamp 4:21: 55)

I've been thinking about this ever since I finished that Martha Ballard non-fiction book. The author talked about how if Marth hadn't written a diary, we would really only know the days she was born, gave birth, and died. We wouldn't even really know she was a midwife. Our lives end up being distilled into so little and yet we worry about money, jobs, getting the trash out in time, and what to eat for dinner. I don't know what I think about all that, but think about it I do.

Eli was fascinated by kitchens, by the way people ordered their lives, the cabinets they used, the places they kept food, and the food they choose to keep. He'd spent the last decade studying people and it was amazing how much could be gleaned from their homes. Their bedrooms and bathrooms and closets, of course, but also their kitchens...(timestamp 6:09:53)

What room do you think you can tell the most about someone from? 

Hat mentions:

None.

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

2024 Work Uniform (for Colder Months)

TL;DR I wear clothes to work. Generally a dress, leggings, and some accessories. 

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I usually work in the office five days a week. I can work from home once in a while, but I meet in-person with students with some frequency and I like to have all the days available so that I can be as flexible as possible to make it work for their schedules. I want to know what I'm going to wear in the morning with minimal thinking. So it's a dress and leggings for me. I have a pair of boots that I leave in my office that I change into every day - just call me Fred Rogers.  

Requirements for my "winter" dresses: sleeves and pockets. I prefer a wrap or faux wrap, but those are challenging to find, so I wear a lot of A-line dresses. I strongly prefer natural fabrics - cotton and wool mostly.  Here's what I wore to work last week.

(I tried to link to exact items of clothing if they're still made. Otherwise I just linked the company.)

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Monday:

Just as we were about to leave work for the day, there was a tornado warning (in early March! egads!). My husband and I headed to an interior office (we purposefully did not go to an actual tornado shelter because all the other people would be there) and it was So Loud and So Long and I started doing a mini-photo shoot for the purpose of this blog post. I love that my husband is laughing at me in this photo as if he is still surprised by my nonsense all these years later. 

Dress: Mata Traders
Leggings: Duluth Trading Company (mini review - comfortable leggings with pockets and a wide waistband that doesn't roll - they do fade quickly, so wash them on cool and line-dry them)
Shoes: CYDWOK (I'm not wearing my boots here because we were on our way out the door when the sirens went off and I'd already changed out of them, but I'm wearing my CYDWOK Mary Janes - this link is not an exact match because CYDWOK doesn't make these exact shoes anymore, but I've had them for more than a decade, so they are well worth the investment - I will evangelize for this company for the rest of my life)
Accessories: Twisted Silver bracelet (not this exact one), handmade daisy beaded bracelet

I have a thin black belt I sometimes wear with this dress to give it/me more of a waist.


Tuesday:
I was at a fair on another campus this day, so I didn't go into the office. No photos, but I wore some dark wash boot cut jeans (Duluth Trading Company), brown boots (Redwing Heritage Collection), sleeveless purple shirt (Limited from fourteen years ago - see this post!), black cardigan (from White House Black Market literally decades ago when they only sold white and black items), and brown belt (Gap from a decade ago).  

Wednesday:


Dress: Toad & Co. (the pocket in this dress is less than ideal, but it's there)
Leggings: Duluth Trading Company
Boots: CYDWOK 
Scarf: Present from my friend Essen in grad school 
Accessories: Twisted Silver bracelet (not this exact one), handmade daisy beaded bracelet

Thursday:


Dress: Mata Traders 
Leggings: Duluth Trading Company
Boots: CYDWOK
Scarf: I have long since removed the tag, so I don't know the designer, but I bought it at Helen Winnemore's, a cute shop in Columbus, Ohio

Friday:

Leggings: Duluth Trading Company
Boots: CYDWOK
Accessories: Twisted Silver bracelet (not this exact one), handmade daisy beaded bracelet

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Here is a close-up of my boots. I am super picky about shoes because of my bad leg and I can wear these shoes all day and not be in pain. No insoles or anything. Yes, I spent hundreds of dollars on these, but I wear them every day and they are amazing. (For those of you who read MBF for CBBC, I always think about how they are handmade!)

Here are my Mary Janes. I took them to get resoled in January of this year and my cobbler said that his first ticket on them was from 2014, so they are at least a decade old. I wear them a lot. They've also been resoled and repaired a number of times.

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In my office, I have a grey infinity scarf (winterweight), a lightweight pink scarf (summerweight), and a grey cardigan (from H&M that I bought in an emergency when I was underdressed during a summer trip) that I store in a cabinet in case I'm ever underdressed and cold. The cardigan is polyester and violates my natural fabric rule, but it was purchased before I had that rule in place.


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I have two other three-quarter length sleeve dresses with pockets (see below) that I didn't wear this week, so I have a total of six "winter" dresses. I'd like one or two more to fill out my collection, but there's no rush on it since the season is winding down.

On the left: Betabrand dress (from years ago, so they no longer stock it)
On the right: Audrey dress from O'Connell's - This is 100% the most flattering dress I own. It doesn't have great hangar appeal, but it's amazing on me. 

And that's it. Dress, leggings, maybe a scarf. Bracelets. CYDWOK boots.  

My "everyday" bracelets.

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Note that most weeks I do a lunchtime stretch class three days a week via Zoom wearing these clothes. Occasionally, I actually go to a yoga class at the student union for a 30 minute video and I do not change my clothes - I just wear my dress and leggings. People sometimes act like it's a big deal to wear a dress, but I swear to you that it's just as comfortable for me as my pajamas. 

I have a handful of blazers and cardigans I will wear over dresses if I'm doing something formal like a conference or teaching (or if I'm just cold). Here they are.

Black cardigan: This is the one from White House Black Market from decades ago. I bought it at the WHBM at the Mall of American when I lived in Minnesota. (Also is polyester.)
Purple cardigan: Salaam Clothing (maybe a decade old? - certainly not on their website anymore) (Also is polyester.)
Orange blazer: I.N.C. from Macy's - I bought this when I was on a work trip to Chicago years and years ago and I was very, very cold. The lining is shredded, but it's a cute piece.
Silver blazer: Ann Taylor from fourteen years ago - I can date this one because I bought it for my twin niece and nephew's baptism and they are fifteen now. My nephew puked on it at the ceremony and you can still see the slight stain if you know what to look for. Hasn't stopped me from wearing that blazer about a million times since then. 

I would definitely lint roll this before I left the house in it. It is clear I have a cat, right?

This is a jacket from O'Connell's. It goes amazingly well with just about any black dress, but when I pair it with the Audrey or Toad & Co. dress, it is sheer perfection.

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I rarely pay full price for anything, outside of my shoes and leggings, and I could probably get the leggings on sale if I paid more attention. I think maybe my husband paid full price for my silver bracelet, but I wear it most days and have for years and years, so I think it's probably paid for itself. Everything else that I've shown here I bought on discount of one sort or another. I try to get clothes at end-of-season sales. (I know I should thrift more. The thing is that I live in a relatively low-income rural area and the thrift shops here are full of fast fashion junk with oddly high prices. I could drive an hour or so away for nicer places, but I literally do not have time to hunt down the "good" thrift shops and I have so far refused to make it a priority. I don't enjoy being in thrift stores and the process of clothes shopping is already painful enough.)

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Now, I don't anticipate changing much about this as the weather gets warmer because the AC means my office is the same temperature. We'll see. Maybe I'll be doing this to talk about what I wear during the summer later on. Same uniform with eight short-sleeved dresses!

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Do you have a work uniform?  Does getting dressed in the morning require a lot of thought for you?

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

The Memory of Animals by Claire Fuller

Someone on the podcast Sarah's Bookshelves recommended The Memory of Animals pretty persuasively, so I ordered it from the library and then proceeded to not read it for nine weeks. And it's due tomorrow, so I had to get to it. 


Teffy lost her job working with the octopuses at an aquarium. There's a pandemic and things are getting pretty bad, so she signs up to be a volunteer in a clinical trial for a vaccine for the Dropsy virus. But the trial doesn't go well and Teffy and four other volunteers watch out the windows as London falls into chaos. Meanwhile, there's technology that allows Teffy to relive her memories and she spends more and more time in the past. 

Weird combination of octopus book (see The Soul of an Octopus and Remarkably Bright Creatures) and pandemic book (see Station Eleven and Hamnet). The bit about reliving memories was weird, too. I mean, the book is weird. Like so weird that it's borderline incoherent? 

Okay, the parallel is that the survivors are like animals in a cage. The volunteers for the experiment are like the experiments on octopuses that Neffy witnessed. Fine. (I mean, let's not get into whether or not animals have a choice about it and the humans absolutely could have either not done the experiment or left the hospital when things got dodgy, but let's let Fuller have the parallels.) The additional parallel is that something something memory something something octopuses don't have a brain. I don't know. It's weak. Here's the conversation I imagine happened.

Author: It's about survivors of a pandemic.
Agent: And...?
Author (thinks about Sy Montgomery and Shelby Van Pelt): And the main character works with octopuses.
Agent: What makes it unique?
Author: AND THERE'S VIRTUAL REALITY MEMORY.

Oddly enough, I didn't hate this book. But I don't think it says as much as the author thinks it says. The characters are oddly flat, the writing is fine, but not spectacular, and I honestly want to figure out who it was that recommended this on the podcast and never really trust them again. Read Station Eleven if you want pandemic lit. 3.5/5 stars

Things I looked up:

Roberts radio (page 10) - Roberts is a British company that makes cool looking retro radios. The company has been around since 1932, so presumably the radios they make were once cutting edge. 

Crittall windows (page 10) - Windows with gridded metal frames. 


Antipaxos (page 24) - A small island in Greece. It's almost embarrassing how often I have to admit my lacking my knowledge of geography is. 


Hat mentions (why hats?):

I can just make out the shape of her, the arch of her hat. (page 76)

It was something I'd looked forward to, enjoying the feeling of being the one the loud handsome man was waving his hat at, as though we both might have been almost famous. (page 132)

Piper isn't wearing her hat and for the first time I see her hair - undercut at the sides and top styled up. (page 233)

Monday, March 11, 2024

Week Six: My Brilliant Friend CBBC, Wrap-Up

Week One, Prologue & Childhood
Week Two, Adolescence Chapters 1 - 16
Week Three, Adolescence Chapters 17-30
Week Four, Adolescence Chapters 31-45
Week Five, Adolescence Chapters 46 - 61

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Welcome to our wrap-up for the Cool Bloggers Book Club (CBBC) for My Brilliant Friend

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Did you all know that, in addition to being an HBO television show, My Brilliant Friend has been adapted into a graphic novel? Is there anyone out there who is surprised to learn that I immediately grabbed a copy from the library as soon as I heard this news? Also, is anyone surprised that there are five copies in our library system and all of them are available? 


Source


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MBF Questions to ponder:

1) Which character in the book are you most like? Why? 

2) Nicole made this comment last week: 

I had an epiphany when I started this part, and I actually went back and reread some of the previous chapters: I was reading this all wrong. When I read it like a regular book, I found myself absolutely slogging. When I read it as a symbol for Italy, post-World War II, it was fascinating. I read it as all the characters were symbolizing different parts of Italy - education (Elena), beauty and fashion industry (Lila), automotive, agricultural, export industries, etc. Also - the mafia. I felt like this was foreshadowing for the mafia's hand in the running of the country. When I read it like that, I felt that it was very powerful and interesting. When I read it just as a story, not at all. I wish I had thought to do that at the beginning of the book, it would have made for a much better reading experience for me.

What do you think of this reading of the book? 

3) Let's discuss Tina and Nu, the dolls from the beginning of the book. Do you think that the way the girls played with the dolls is reflective of the violent, uncertain home lives they had at home? Is this why Lila was so cruel in their play?

4) In general, this novel seems pretty dark, but there are moments of happiness, like when LenĂ¹ first goes to the beach. What are other moments of happiness or levity that come to mind and how do those moments balance some of the darkness in this book?

5) Is this truly a story about "frenemies" or is it a story about friends who actually encourage one another to be the best that they can be? 

6) This book was much more polarizing than A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, our first CBBC read, despite a lot of similar themes of urban poverty, the importance of education, and tough family circumstances. What made this one so much more challenging? 

7) For those of you who haven't read any of the other books (it's a quartet), what do you think happens in the following books? What's going to happen with these girls?

8) What scene/quote/character from the book seems like it's the most memorable to you? 

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CBBC questions to ponder:

1) What book should we read next? (It probably won't be until summer. Don't worry - no homework until then!)

2) I'm still trying to figure out the pacing for these book clubs. Was this too many pages, too few pages, or just the perfect number of pages each week?

3) Is there any other constructive feedback you'd like to offer about the running of CBBC?  Please don't say stop talking about hats - I honestly cannot do that for you!

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And that is our first quarter CBBC in the can. I appreciate all of you who participated (especially those of you who didn't like the book!) and I cannot say how much it means to me that you all read and post and send me photos. As some of you may know, things are challenging for me in my personal life and having these smart, fun discussions about a book I really love has been a great distraction from less fun things in my life. Here's to another successful session of CBBC!