Humor Me: How Laughing More Can Make You Present, Creative, Connected, and Happy by Chris Duffy

I did a self-reflection and realized it is March, which is smack dab in the middle of the February - March - April run that is, in my humble opinion, the absolute nadir of the calendar year. We're still in winter. Despite the increase in sunlight in the evenings, I'm still mostly outside in the dark. I am exhausted. There is no end in sight. In January, I am still running high on the holiday season and am confident I can persevere through winter. By February, I can tell myself that spring is around the corner. But by March, I have to admit that spring is still months away, I am cold and will never be warm again, and I hate spring anyway because it's unpredictable and muddy and not that warm anyway. For those of you who do not suffer from season affective disorder, I am eternally jealous. 

Anyway, friends, I'm doing all the things. I'm exercising. I'm initiating intimacy. I'm finding gratitude. I'm going outside. I'm putting my cell phone in the other room at meals. I'm meditating. 

But I still can't be bothered to do anything besides what I absolutely have to do. Respond to personal emails? That's not 100% necessary. Vacuum the rugs? They'll still be covered in fur next week. Wash my hair? Surely that can wait for another day. 

So I was relistening to episodes of You're the Expert, an excellent, now-defunct podcast hosted by Chris Duffy, a man who I think is hilarious, and one of the inserted ads in the podcast was for his new book, Humor Me: How Laughing More Can Make You Present, Creative, Connected, and Happy. I decided that I needed something to help me get through this slog of seasonally dependent ennui. And if Chris Duffy can tell me what that something is, I'm on board. 

This book is about developing your own personal sense of humor and using it to get through difficult times. He has three pillars - be present, laugh at yourself, and take social risks. In this book, he walks through those three pillars and gives a list of homework at the end of each chapter to practice. 

This book was joyful and fun and made me feel like I can conquer the winter blues. 

I'm not going to tell you about all the homework he gave you, but here are three things I'm implementing immediately in the hopes that it will help me make it through May. 

1) Embrace a new bathroom state of mind: In your own bathroom, you know what's there and how it's set-up and you just sort of take it for granted. But when  you go to a new bathroom, you notice all the things. Oh, these towels are so soft. This toilet paper is great! Look at how pretty that sink is. I like how they have a 3D printed cat toothpaste dispenser. Have this same state of mind with your ordinary life.  Look at your bathroom with new eyes. Try to notice something on your everyday commute. 

2) Notice what you think is funny. Track it. I have started just jotting down in my notes app on my phone when I laugh during the day. What made me laugh on Friday, you ask?

• Getting a rejection email for a job I applied to in 2023
• Hannah getting very tangled up in her leash while attempting to chew a stick and roll around in the grass
• Mentions of Uncle Kracker and tall bikes, things I hadn't thought about in years
• These funny Stuf of Doom Oreos at the grocery store

3) Talk to strangers. I mean, I already do talk to strangers pretty frequently. But now I'm making more of an effort to. 

If this goes well, maybe I'll have an occasionally blog series in which I write about things that make me laugh. 

Anyway, I found this book hopeful and full of joy. I hope Chris Duffy knows he's doing good work that is keeping this Midwestern lady going. 5/5 stars

Lines of note:

Seeking out humor in a situation doesn't mean denying the uncomfortable or unfunny aspects of reality. Far from it. This is where humor differs crucially from so-called toxic positivity, the pressure to put on a happy face no matter the circumstances. It isn't about finding the silver lining in every cloud. It's about acknowledging the clouds. "I cannot believe how many fucking clouds there are! It's like the sky is JUST CLOUDS!" Humor is a way of addressing reality while shifting our relationship to it. It reverse-engineers despair into hope. (page 10-11)

I like that Duffy addressed toxic positivity. I worry a lot that if I focus on the good and being grateful, etc., I will come off as one of those people who is in denial about (gestures dramatically) the world of 2026. 

Researchers discovered that when you're willing to laugh at your flaws, other people view those flaws as less important than if you'd addressed them more dryly. The study found that "job candidates who revealed their limited math ability in a humorous manner ('I can add and subtract, but geometry is where I draw the line') were perceived as better able to do math than those who disclosed the information in a serious manner ('I can add and subtract, but I struggle with geometry'). (page 52)

STORY TIME!!

We are currently interviewing people for a position on campus and I'm on the hiring committee. I'm being purposefully vague because the form you have to sign literally says "the search committee's findings must be held confidential for eternity," which seems crazy and like it might not hold up in court, but I'm not going to give any confidential information away.

Our first round was a screening round via Webex and it's so stiff and weird and formal and the candidates are so nervous. There was this one woman I was rooting for (I cannot tell you why until the end of eternity), but the start of her interview was rocky. I was supposed to introduce myself and ask the second question, but I sort of forgot the "introduce myself" part until I was halfway through the question! So I stopped and said, "oh no! you don't know me yet!" and introduced myself and everyone on the call started laughing, including the candidate. Then I asked the question and we moved on. And everyone FUCKING RELAXED A LITTLE. 

So I started making snarky comments before I asked my question and it helped the candidates a little bit because they could see I was on their side. I mean, interviewing is so stressful and it sucks and I was just trying to get them to loosen up. My boss mentioned that it was fun having me on the calls for these interviews and I took that as a huge compliment. 

In one hilarious experiment, [Timothy] Wilson asked study subjects to sit alone in a room with their thoughts for fifteen minutes. "The team left participants alone in a lab room in which they could push a button and shock themselves if they wanted to. The results were startling: Even though all participants had previously stated that they would pay money to avoid being shocked with electricity, 67% of men and 25% of women chose to inflict it on themselves rather than just sit there quietly and think." (page 60)

Who are you people who wouldn't take fifteen minutes for a nap?!?! MORE THAN HALF OF THE PEOPLE SHOCKED THEMSELVES. Dude. You could just do some yoga or sleep? I found this SHOCKING (ha ha ha - pun absolutely intended) and it was almost as dumbfounding to me as Donald Trump winning a second term. 

A ton of behavioral science backs up the idea that taking social risks leads to positive results. Among the many studies, hardly any make people quite as skeptical as the one that found talking to a stranger on the train or bus would improve the quality of their day. A typical reaction goes something like "Maybe that works for some people, but not on the buses I take."

In fact, the University of Chicago team that conducted the study found that "those who talked to strangers reported a significantly happier ride than those who kept to themselves - even though a survey of a separate group of commuters predicted the opposite." (page 74)

Okay, but I think we can all agree that talking to people on planes is crazy, right?

Hat mentions (why hats?):

If you're at the mall, a nine-year-old might try on the largest hat she can find. (page 83)

...wore a big cowboy hat to school every day? (page 114)

...put on a fun hat and take a self of us. (page 133)

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What is something that made you laugh out loud recently? 

The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See

Young-sook is a young Korean girl living on the island of Jeju. Jeju is a matrifocal society, where women are in charge of finances and the direction of the family. Young-sook is the daughter of the chief of the divers, women who dive deep into the sea to feed their families. Mi-ja is Young-sook's best friend, but they are from different families and backgrounds and soon those differences will tear them apart. We follow these women through World War II, through the Korean War, and way into the present when the atrocities they witnessed are finally acknowledged. 

Here's the thing. I hate the flash forwarding thing. I was invested in these women in the past and hated every time we moved forward to present time. It was fascinating to hear about how the women learned to dive and how knowledge flowed from one generation to the next. I was very invested in hearing about how much everyone hated the Japanese and then hated the Americans. The historical details were woven in to the story seamlessly. It is another example of how world events do eventually come to change the day to day lives of average people.

It was heartbreaking to hear about how such a stable society was undermined by events and factors entirely outside of their control. It was depressing to read about war crimes and acts of violence against civilians knowing that there weren't really any consequences. 

But man did I hate the modern day scenes. It was like being yanked of a perfectly good dream to have to empty the clothes washer. 

(I was thinking of Before We Were Yours as I was reading this. Why do authors insist on taking a super interesting piece of history and contaminating it with a contemporary storyline that detracts from the rest of the novel?)

Anyway. I learned a lot in this book, but I'm not sure I'd wholeheartedly endorse you reading it. 3/5 stars

Lines of note:

Oh, I understood life and death, but I didn’t yet have a true comprehension of all that could happen between your first and last breaths. (location 2053)

This is such a good line. It's true, right? When I was young, I thought I understood life, but I certainly could not have predicted the twists and turns that make up a person's history.

Things I looked up:

McCune-Reischauer system of romanization (location 52) - a romanization system for the Korean language. It was first published in 1939 by George M. McCune and Edwin O. Reischauer.  Through the Korean War it became the foundation for most current Romanizations of Korean place names. A variant of McCune–Reischauer is currently used as the official system in North Korea. Another variant is currently used for standard romanization library catalogs in North America. On the other hand, South Korea formerly used yet another variant as its official system from 1984 to 2000, but replaced it with the Revised Romanization of Korean in 2000.

Jeju is her home, an island known for Three Abundances: wind, stones, and women. (location 61) - 

Jeju is a big character in this book and I wanted to know more, particularly about its geography.

Jeju Island is South Korea's largest island, covering an area of 1,833.2 km2 (707.8 sq mi), which is 1.83% of the total area of the country. The island lies in the Korea Strait, 82.8 km (51.4 mi) south of the nearest point on the Korean Peninsula. The Jeju people are indigenous to the island, and it has been populated by modern humans since the early Neolithic period. The Jeju language is considered critically endangered by UNESCO. It is also one of the regions of Korea where Shamanism is most intact.

Jeju Island has an oval shape and is 73 km (45 mi) east–west and 31 km (19 mi) north–south, with a gentle slope around Hallasan in the center. The length of the main road is 181 km (112 mi) and the coastline is 258 km (160 mi). O

April Third Incident (4.3 Incident) (location 92) - The Jeju uprising (in South Korea, the Jeju April 3 incident) was an insurrection on Jeju Island, South Korea from April 1948 to May 1949. Egads! Was it an insurrection? What does that language tell us? 

A year prior to its start, residents of Jeju had begun protesting elections scheduled by the United Nations Temporary Commission on Korea (UNTCOK) to be held in the United States-occupied half of Korea, which they believed would entrench the division of the country. A general strike was later organized by the Workers' Party of South Korea (WPSK) from February to March 1948. The WPSK launched an insurgency in April 1948, attacking police and Northwest Youth League members stationed on Jeju who had been mobilized to suppress the protests by force. (eek! this feels gross to be typing and not editorializing. I mean...seems like the police might have shot the first shot, you know?)

 The First Republic of Korea under President Syngman Rhee escalated the suppression of the uprising from August 1948, declaring martial law in November and beginning an "eradication campaign" against rebel forces in the rural areas of Jeju in March 1949, defeating them within two months. This resulting campaign has led to the event being called the Jeju massacre. 

Between 14,000 and 30,000 people (10 percent of Jeju's population) were killed, and 40,000 fled to Japan. Other estimates reach as high as 80,000 dead. Atrocities and war crimes were committed by both sides. (egads, again) 

bulteoks (page 213) - a traditional, open-air, circular stone shelter used by Jeju Island's haenyeo (women divers) to change clothes, warm themselves by a fire, and socialize. Located along the coast, these, sometimes called "bonfire" spots, served as crucial community spaces for resting, sharing diving knowledge, and, historically, enforcing hierarchy within the group

sumbisori (page 351) - the distinct, high-pitched whistling exhale of haenyeo (female divers) in Jeju, South Korea, produced upon surfacing after holding their breath for over a minute in deep dives.

They sank the Kowamaru (location 2240) - ship sunk by a U.S. submarine

There are those who say no one survived the Bukchon massacre. Others say that only one person lived. (location 3359) - Bukchon is the site of the worst indiscriminate mass killing during the Jeju Uprising. 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

The wife wears the same polka-dot T-shirt, but otherwise every bit of her skin is protected from the sun by long pants, sleeve guards, gloves, hat, and a cloth mask. (location 70)

his favorite dog-fur hat pulled down over his ears (location 167)

...showed her how to do chores and taught her the songs for grinding millet, knitting horsehair hats, netting anchovies, gathering pig excrement for our fields, and plowing, planting, and pulling weeds... (location 624)

Mi-ja, the Kangs, and I peeled off our coats, scarves, and hats. (location 1272)

One man, wearing a different hat than the other sailors, gestured for us to come closer. (location 1312)

The man with the special hat (location 1315 and 1316)

matching coats, hats, and mittens (location 1355)

bowler hats (location 1802)

small hats pinned to their heads (location 1804)

wearing a skirt, a little jacket, and a hat with a veil that came down over her eyes (location 2019)

a Western-style dress and a hat (location 2481)

big straw hats (location 2515)

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Had you ever heard of the Jeju uprising? How much have you read about the Korean War? Are you as annoyed by the contemporary elements of some historical fiction as I am?

Five for Friday #39: We're Falling Apart Over Here

1) Update to my husband's rhabdo situation: You guys, it's not good.  His CK levels were high after he helped me carry in groceries! They can't figure it out and it's very frustrating. I started to write about it, but I just want everyone to know that an otherwise healthy man in his 40s who cannot carry a 24-pack of fizzy water without causing literal muscle breakdown is NOT COOL. 

2) Now he has a man cold, too. He is not a good patient. I love him dearly, but if he doesn't figure out a way to deal with his congestion in a manner that is not snapping at me whenever I so much as breathe, I might have to murder him. 

3) In Birchie's most recent post, she wrote, "I'm taking a beat to think about my fitness life.  It feels like it is a constant cycle of hard work and exhaustion with no clear end game." I wrote a small novel in her comment section about how I am exhausted/tired ALL THE DAMN TIME. Like...this has been my entire adult life. I graduated from college and became exhausted. 

I wake up thinking about how I can take a nap or get to bed early. I nearly fall asleep in every yoga class. I daydream about my bed. By Friday evenings, I am literally agape at people going to the bars downtown as I'm walking the dog. Who has energy for that after working all week? 

And here I am learning that it's not like this for everybody?! 

4) On the bright side, my pap smear results came back fine so everyone I can quit worrying about having to go through torture again. (And then get charged $700. America, fuck yeah.)

5) On even brighter side, my nephew is not happy with his already good ACT score. He asked me to help him improve it! Yay! I was in test prep for twenty years and I'm very good at standardized tests (*brag* I was a National Merit Scholar and got a fellowship for grad school based on my GRE scores *not so brag* this has not meant actual success in grad school or life), and I've been waiting EIGHTEEN YEARS for one of my niblings to ask me to help. 

I ordered books, set up a Webex meeting, and we had a grand old time discussing parts of speech and comma usage on the ACT. By the end of the meeting I had him saying things like "the ACT doesn't like commas, so I bet the answer is F" and "well, you can't separate two complete ideas with a comma." I AM WINNING AT AUNTING. 

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Anyone else having a spouse who isn't a good patient? How do you prevent yourself from committing a crime? 

Anyone else chronically just want to go back to bed? 

Wild Eyes (Rose Hill #2) by Elsie Silver

I thought I read the first book in this series, but I have no record of it on my blog, so it must not have happened. But...those characters seem familiar. Whatever. 

Stephany recommended Wild Eyes by Elsie Silver and I desperately wanted a light read that I would enjoy and would distract me from 2026. Now this book has some tropes I do not generally care for. Precocious children, a famous person who hates being famous, and horses. Why don't I like horses in a romance novel? Because that usually involves ranching and don't get me started on animal cruelty and how cowboys aren't attractive and blah blah blah. Anyway, somehow Stephany's claim that she thought about the characters all day made me want to read this book despite all that. And despite this really really really really ugly cover.

Skylar Stone has run away from Los Angeles after some bad press and even worse family drama. She finds herself staying in West Belmont's bunkhouse with a sorta tame, sort wild mouse. She finds herself slowly relaxing under the tutelage of West's two precocious children, horses (natch), and West himself and his shirtless ways. What's going to happen with Skylar and West? 

Look, I also really liked this book. Skylar is annoying and West is too good to be true. But everyone else in this book is amazing! Ford and Rosalie are super! The kids! I want a novella about Oliver! The whole Sparkly Turquoise Unicorns team! Let me take them out for ice cream! 

I don't necessarily think Silver handled the I hate to be famous trope particularly well, but I will let it slide since Skylar is mostly not in the limelight throughout this book. Having West throw her phone in the lake was truly a smart plot vehicle. 

Look, I want to read more Silver. Let's do it! 5/5 stars

Line of note:

I read an old bodice-ripper I find on a shelf in West's living room within one day. When it's over, I feel happy and optimistic. Something about that guaranteed happy ending cheers me up. And I realize scrolling my phone never made me feel that way. (page 186)

Isn't this why we read romance novels? Okay, fine. This is why I read romance novels. 

Title spotting:

"Those" - he points at my face, fingers flicking from side to side - "are wild eyes." (page 150)

Hat mentions (why hats?):

Nice hat (page 124)

Sparkly Turquoise Unicorns hat(s) (page 131, 132, 369, and 378)

beneath her hat (page 132)

brim of her hat (page 134, 175)

sweet new hat (page 143)

team hat (page 174)

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What's the last book you read with a terrible cover? Why are there ugly covers in the year 2026? 

Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke

Rayleen said that Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke was one of her favorite books of last year on the podcast Books Unbound. I trust Rayleen because she is full of good recs. (The other host, Ariel, just spent an entire episode waxing poetic about how great she found The Hobbit, so while I respect her as a business person with some hustle, her reader credibility is very low with me.)

This book is told entirely through Slack messages at a New York-based public relations firm.

Gerald has been uploaded into the firm's Slack channel. His body is just sitting in his apartment, but Gerald's consciousness is in Slack. Gerald asks his co-worker Pradeep to help him figure out a way to return to his body. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the company thinks this is a bit Gerald is doing to be allowed to work from home more. Also, there's a crisis with a dog food company that has to do a recall because Pomeranians are dying. (Not Pomeranians!) Two employees are knockin' boots and destroying office furniture and another employee is hearing howling all the time. What is happening at this company?

There's a running joke about a dusty stick emoji that is exactly like the potato emoji in my office chat. My boss went to Nova Scotia on vacation and came back with fudge made with potatoes. From that moment on, whenever someone brings treats back from vacation, we all use potato emojis. It's HILARIOUS to me, but even as I'm writing this, I realize it's not funny. ANYWAY.

Will this whole Slack thing be dated someday? Probably? Will it still get to the heart of office culture and politics? I sure hope so. 

I thought this was snort funny, clever, and unique. I loved every word.  5/5 stars

Lines of note:

what is a workplace but a cult where everyone gets paid, really? (page 67)

LOLOLOL. This is the second time in a month I've read a book that suggested my workplace is a cult. 

and my only reminder that humanity isn't just this overwhelming 
cacophony of noise and drudgery but like
something worth returning to (page 216)

Sometimes we all need to spend some time focused on what is worth living for, right? 

***************

Do you have running jokes in your office chat? Is your job really a cult? 

What I Spent: February 2026

As a reminder, my husband pays the "big bills" like mortgage, phone, car, and electricity. I pay for groceries and the pets and that somehow evens things out.

Fitness ($20, <1%) - This was my trampoline class. #noregrets

Eating out ($27.19, 1.3%) - I had lunch with Sarah and I ate ice cream once. 

Entertainment ($51.18, 2.4%) - Hold on to your pants, people. I bought an audiobook, an ebook, and paid for my Spotify subscription this month. I bought the audiobook for my IRL book club or I would never have been able to read it and I bought a new release ebook. Who am I?

Cars ($64, 7.3%) - Gas a couple of times.

House ($84.40, 3.9%) - New sheets. We haven't used the new ones yet because we're still using our flannel sheets, but I think my husband might want to switch soon. 

Personal care ($113.47, 5.2%) - Eyeliner, shampoo, sponges. It takes money and work to look like an average Midwestern lady.

Gifts ($124, 5.7%) - A couple birthday presents and some greeting cards.

Bills ($158.83, 7.3%) - Home and car insurance.

Pets ($299.25, 13.8%) - Food, food, food. Why do they eat so much? They're not fat. I don't think.

Savings (350, 16.2%) - Better than a kick in the teeth.

Groceries ($869.33, 40.2%) - Food, food, food. Why do we eat so much?

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I rarely buy books, but I purchased two in February. Have you recently made a purchase for something you rarely buy? 

February 2026 Accountability Buddy

Sunday, February 1
30-minute leg workout (Caroline Girvan - Epic day 37) - I used two five-pound weights for this. I found the reverse plank lifts impossible unless I used both legs, so that's something to work on. I could probably go heavier, but I'm really working on form with my bad leg. 

15-minute yoga for legs, hips, and hamstrings

Monday, February 2

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

Tuesday, February 3

10-minute posture improvement video

10-minute office life stretch - I don't know if I'd recommend this since you don't hold the poses long enough to get a good stretch.

45-minute body blast class at the community center after work

Wednesday, February 4

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime*

20-minute gentle yoga stretch in my office towards the end of a day of endless sitting

Thursday, February 5

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

30-minute shoulders & triceps (Caroline Girvan - Iron day 7)

10-minute posture improvement video

Friday, February 6

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

30-minute stretch for back and hips - Look, I gotta be honest. I found this was nearly impossible for my shoulder. I mean, it did get at my hips, but the real reason this video was uncomfortable was my shoulders. 

Saturday, February 7

60-minute hike in the woods with Dr. BB

Sunday, February 8

25-minute shoveling - it was not much, maybe a half inch to an inch - but it needed to get moved off the driveway and sidewalk because it was hiding ice underneath

30-minute low impact full body cardio workout

30-minute fluid yoga flow - This was more challenging than I would normally do. I did some modifications. 

Monday, February 9

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

Tuesday, February 10

10-minute posture improvement video

45-minute body blast class at the community center after work

Wednesday, February 11

20-minute gentle yoga stretch in my office at lunchtime

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

Thursday, February 12

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

60-minute Zumba class before dinner

Friday, February 13

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

Saturday, February 14-Sunday, February 15

Days off

Monday, February 16

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

Tuesday, February 17

45-minute body blast class at the community center after work

Wednesday, February 18

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

15-minute bedtime yoga - I wanted to get in some strength training today, but it wasn't meant to be. 

Thursday, February 19

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

Friday, February 20

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

15-minute cardio - Happy Dance - this might be called "Happy Dance," but it did not make me particularly happy 

15-minute full body dumbbell workout - very effective

Saturday, February 21

30-minute total body strength with dumbbells

Sunday, February 22

I was walking Hannah this afternoon when my upper back began complaining in a big way. I don't know what I did to it, but I tried to use yoga to fix it.

30-minute yoga stretches for upper body 

Monday, February 23

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

Tuesday, February 24

30-minute yoga stretches for upper body  - This one again. My upper back and shoulders are a problem, so I did this at lunchtime in my office. 

35-minute no jumping tabata workout - perfect workout for staying in the fat burning zone

Wednesday, February 25

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

35-minute full body HIIT and strength training - I'm so sweaty. Sheesh. 

Thursday, February 26

30-minute yoga video in the student union at lunchtime

30-minute trampoline class after work - I'd never done this before. It was fun! I was super amazed at how little my bad leg hurt. I think I will want to do this again in the future. 

Friday, February 27

Day off

Saturday, February 28

30-minute full body yoga for flexibility and strength 

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*Our local healthcare organization does free stretch classes virtually three times a week. Sign up here! It's free. It's fun. She has the sign-up through June, so you can basically register for half the year at one time. We regularly talk about candy and what's for lunch. It's a delightful break in the middle of the day. You do not have to have your camera on. 

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Total: 24/28  (85.7%) days doing thirty minutes or more

Cardio/strength: 13 days
Yoga: 16 days

Short stretch classes at lunchtime: 7 days

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When's the last time you tried a new fitness class?