2022 NaBloPoMo Q&A, Part II

If you're new here, I did a 20 Questions post last year that discusses some basics of who I am, so that's a good place to start if you don't know much about me. Last month, I asked you for questions and now I'm here to answer them. I got a lot of questions, so I broke this up into two parts. Part I is here. 

Stephany asked:

13) What are some of your best marriage tips?

I feel unqualified to answer this question because while I am an expert on my own marriage, I am hardly an expert on marriage overall.  Here are a handful of things I have to say, but I stress that this works for us, but I make no guarantees about other people's relationships.

a) It's all luck. I met someone who was single when I was single who shared my values, found my quirks tolerable, and there was physical attraction.  The timing worked and we both wanted a long-term relationship at that moment.

b) Learn to use the following phrases with reckless abandon: You're right, that's a good idea, thank you, I notice you did...and I appreciate it, please, and I'm sorry.  

c) People change over time. What was a quirk when you were dating will become a neuroticism years later.  Get used to it and get over it. 

d) Marriage isn't actually all that difficult (*if you have lucky timing and find the right person who shares your values and goals*), but when life gets hard, so does marriage. When life is moving along and all is going well, you generally spend time focusing on your relationship. When life gets hard, it's easy to focus on what's making it hard (jobs, finances, kids, illnesses, whatever) and forget to prioritize your relationship. When life gets hard, lean in to your relationship, don't lean into the hard stuff.

e) Laugh with your partner every day. Dance with them every day. Buy them gifts when you see things you think they'll like, even if it's not a holiday. Update a shared calendar and look at it regularly. Do the dishes. Don't leave the cap off the toothpaste. Be considerate.  Remember you love them, even when they piss you off. And when they piss you off, fight fair. Don't keep score in love.

14) What are some of the books you recommend over and over?

What a great question! I might steal this one to start asking people. It's so revealing.

For me, it really depends on the reader. I recommend A Tree Grows in Brooklyn  and quite a few Sarah Dessen books, most especially Just Listen for teenage girls; Ender's Game and Ready Player One for teenage boys;  Love Lettering and Perfect for romance novels; the Realm of the Elderlings saga for fantasy; Murderbot and Wayfarers for sci-fi; and the Neapolitan quartet for contemporary fiction. There are other books I'd recommend here and there based on what I've read recently, but these are books I've recommended over and over and over again.

15) Do you like to travel? What are some places you'd like to travel to?

I don't like to travel with my husband (see question #5 from Part I). So that basically means I don't actually like to travel.  Ha. That's not true. I do like to see new places and do new things, but I don't like the actual plane/car/train part of the journey and, more importantly, I despise vacation planning. I am terrible at managing calendars AND visualizing things like how far away spot #1 is from spot #2.  So basically that means I would be a travel agent's dream if travel agents were still a thing. 

I'd like to visit the Maldives, Ireland, and the Alps someday, but not in a real "I'm going to sit down and plan a vacation" way. 

Diane asked:

16) What is your ideal environment to write/blog in?

Ideally, I have some quiet time at my desk at home, a cup of hot tea at my side, no street noise, and no pet interference. This rarely happens, as you might imagine. Ha!

17) What is your ideal environment to read in?

I'll basically read anywhere - on the couch with the television blaring, in the car waiting for an appointment, in line at the grocery store - but my ideal is to be tucked up in bed with my Kindle. I have a great setup so that I can recline and lean my Kindle on the pillow and be 100% cozy. I love being in bed, I love reading, and I love being cozy, so this is the best version of reading I can imagine. 

18) How do you organize and keep track of all the details about a book that end up in your blog posts?

Well, this is a two-part answer. It depends on if I'm reading a paper book or an ebook. 

If I'm reading a paper book, I keep a piece of paper in the book and jot down page numbers and a word or two to remind me of what I found noteworthy. Sometimes it's literally the word/person/historical event I had to look up and sometimes it's a direct quotation. I'll also use this piece of paper to take notes if there's a super complicated plot, family structure, geography, or timeline. Most of the time this paper is the checkout slip from the library, although I also have a series of small notepads that charities send me in the mail that I sometimes use if it's not a library book or I didn't get a checkout slip.

If I'm reading a Kindle, I just highlight what I want to take note of. You can look those notes up on your Kindle, or you can access those notes and highlights at a website from Amazon even if you return the ebook library book. It's a really cool feature. You can also transport those notes directly to Goodreads, if that's your jam. 

Otherwise, I try to write up my reviews within three days of finishing a book. I don't like to do it right away because I want to think about a book a bit. It's telling to me if I'm trying to write a book review and it's two days later and I can't remember the name of the lead character - that's probably not a memorable book! But I also don't want to wait too long. I'll sometimes look books up after I've finished them to see if there's controversy around the book I was unaware of or if my thoughts align with other people's, but I try not to read too much about a book before I write it up because I don't want to go in with a biased opinion.  

19) My ten year old wants to read a romance novel with "just kissing" - what do you recommend?

I am, sadly, not an expert on this age group. I asked my librarian friend and she said she recommends these "clean" romances for the tween set - Operation Pucker Up by Rachele Alpine, Playing the Field by Janette Rallison, and Never Evers by Tom Ellen and Lucy Ivison. 

Lisa asked:

20) If you could live anywhere, where would you live?

I think I'd stay here. I like where it is in relation to our families and I really like our town. I'd also love a house on Lake of the Isles in Minneapolis. Maybe someday when I win the lottery I never play.

21) What is the best vacation you've ever taken?

When I was in high school, my family did an epic road trip. We drove from Michigan to Arizona (Petrified National Forest = awesome, Grand Canyon = oddly boring), up through California and to Yellowstone (awesome) and across the Dakotas (Badlands = desolate, but interesting). It was absolutely amazing, but I could never do it again because that much car time would probably kill me.

22) What does your husband teach?

My husband teaches political theory in a political science department at a small state university. He's practically a genius. I just hang on, hoping my brain won't leak out my ears when I have to think hard to keep up. As you can imagine, he finds it *charming* that I mostly want to talk about books with dragons in them. (See My Marriage Rule c.)

San asked:

23) When do you usually blog? Do you write drafts or sit down and knock it out in one sitting?

I usually blog after dinner in the brief window after everything has been cleaned up and I'm not yet walking the dog.  My husband is generally watching television at this point and I don't watch with him very much. I just sit down and write entire posts without much editing, which is obvious based on the number of  typos you find here. 

24) What's your favorite movie of all time?

I'm not a huge movie watcher, but the movies I always talk about are Babe, Dirty Dancing, and Shawshank Redemption. 

25) Who's your girl crush and why?

Nicole Kidman is gorgeous and that is why she remains the sole woman on my top five list. Forget Keith, Nicole, I'm here for you.

Thanks for all the questions, my friends. If you have any remaining queries, please let me know!