10.12 Complaint - Are You Still Talking about the Pandemic?

Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write a blog post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the twelfth day of the month is "Complaint."

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I was recently listening to an episode of a podcast where the host recently got COVID for the first time and she was talking about how COVID makes you really sick and all the complaints people had about COVID were true and I wish I could describe the face I made at my phone because, like, OF COURSE, person I normally like, but am very irritated with right now, millions of people DIED.  It took YOU being sick to realize it was serious? FFS.  Anyway.  I still have never tested positive for COVID, but when I inevitably get it, I promise to not act like I'm the first person to ever be sick. (I mean, I'll be a Big. Baby. But I won't act like I'm special about it.)

ANYWAY.

That wasn't even my complaint, but my complaint is COVID-related. Remember the toilet paper shortage early on in the pandemic? Well, because of this, we were forced to buy some very substandard TP. And we bought an 18-pack of it. I'll tell you right now that it was single-ply Scott's and it's terrible. 

You know why I'm using the present tense? Because we still have some of it!

We were eventually able to get some better TP and we sort of slid the Scott's to the back of the linen closet, but I have been trying to use it and right now there is some on the roll in the upstairs bathroom and it's enough to make me just go downstairs to use the bathroom because that's where the good paper is. 

I think we still have four or five rolls to go. I'll take your thoughts and prayers.

Do you have any lingering pandemic inconveniences in your life?

Advice Needed: Gift Giving Occasion or Not?

I am a person who shows love through gift giving. I do not show up to a party empty-handed. I buy things when I think of people and give them things. My love language is gift giving. However, sometimes I give gifts when gifts aren't warranted, according to my husband, and I want to know what you all think about my newest plight.

My current boss recruited me into my role. He started a center at our university and he won a federal grant and needed a program manager and he knew, because I went to book club with his wife, that I needed a new job.  He hired me, mostly because I'm friendly, I guess, although it turns out that my skill set was approximately what he needed.

His wife and I are friends. We go to book club together, our dogs have regular play dates, and we did some Democratic Party volunteer work.  They lived a block away and I regularly see her out and about.  We used to do porch dates in early COVID safer-at-home times. When they moved into their house, I bought them a housewarming present. Last year, I got the two of them an ornament at Christmas. 

Hannah the Dog playing with their dog, Gus the Boston Terrier in happier times. Hannah is obviously in her element.  

So when my boss called me a couple of months ago to tell me he and his wife were getting divorced, I was shocked and saddened.  She is moving to Kansas today and yesterday I helped her pack her Jeep and hugged her and she cried and I cried and there was snot.  I adore her and I'm sad she's leaving and I hope Kansas is good to her (or I will CUT YOU, Kansas).  

My boss also quit his job and took a job with a firm in Boston.  I mean, good for him, he's making about four times more than he was at our university. His last day is December 3, but he's really only working until Wednesday and then he's taking vacation days for the rest of the time.  Because of the COVID numbers here, no one is really amped about getting together to do a send off for him, but I feel absolutely terrible about that. He's the one who created the center where we work, created the very team that is now pretending he's not leaving, and has been instrumental to the success of what we're doing. I feel like he's done everything he can to be a stand-up guy here and we're just leaving him hanging.  

Is this an occasion where I get him a gift?  A you've been a great boss, I'm going to miss working with you, thanks for giving me a chance gift?  Or is that weird? 

If yes, what is the appropriate gift to give him? When do I give it to him?  Can I just drop it off on his porch like I did with the ornament last Christmas?  

What would you do?  Someone just tell me what to do and I swear I'll do it. I'm absolutely malleable that way.

A Funny Feeling

I was working on a project at work. This is a project that I am absolutely not qualified to do, but I was giving it my best. I mean, that best actually ended up me admitting to the entire team on a call this morning that I have no clue what I'm doing and someone else saying that it would literally only take them a couple of hours to do it and meanwhile I've spent all week getting approximately 10% of it done and for fuck's sake, why do we even have Slack if no one checks it?  Ahem.  

Anyway. I obviously needed a break and I checked Facebook. As you do.

The guy that I dated for years in high school and through college died.  It happened last month. It was a heart attack, apparently, although in this day and age I sort of assume it was actually suicide or covid complications and no one, understandably, wants to say either of those things in a public forum.

I was stunned.  I am not young, but I am not old. Sure, the 88-year-old lawyer who served as a volunteer on our community center board recently died, but that was fine. He led a good life.  But this man? A man I remember as a robust 20-year-old?  Sure, it's been two decades since I'd seen him last, but he was a huge part of my life for some pretty pivotal years and now he was just gone.  

I'm not sad, exactly.  I don't know how to explain it, really.  Sort of regretful, tinged with anxiousness? I feel a pit in my stomach whenever I think about it.   

It's also really sad because there is not going to be a service at all, no one has written any memories on the obituary itself, and there are only four comments on his Facebook page under the announcement that his aunt posted of his death.  It just feels like no one is noticing this happening and it's not about me and I don't want to be the #1 mourner for someone I used to know, but shouldn't someone be mourning and not just in a superficial "RIP" kind of way?  

I have photographs of him that I'm sure his mother has never seen. Should I send them to her? Is that what she wants or needs?  Is that doing something more for me than for her?  After all, then I would be rid of memorabilia from a doomed relationship that I never look at.  But maybe she doesn't want to hear from the woman who broke her baby boy's heart twenty years ago?  Maybe she especially doesn't want to hear from her a month too late?  

It's a strange feeling. Of course anyone can die at any time (checks to make sure my "what do do if NGS dies checklist" is up-to-date for my husband - ha ha ha! as if I have something this, but I know I should have one and I consider creating it on a regular basis), but it's not always expected, is it?  

Here's a picture of our girls being cute. Note how magnificent Zelda the Cat's fur is. She is suuuuper skinny under all that fur, but in every picture I post of her on Instagram, I get some snarky comment about putting her on a diet.  I swear to you that we were at the vet just over a week ago and got a "she can not lose any more weight" comment, which is what we last heard about Hannah and now I'm starting to think I starve our pets and I DON'T.  They just don't eat.  *heavy sigh*  This has actually also stressed me out.  

This weekend we're dropping the dog off at a friend's house where he will watch her while we drive three hours to Iowa for a tailgating party for a football game I don't care about.  Then we will eat junk food and drive three hours back home to pick up the dog.  I am not sold on this being a good plan, but I am also excited to see some family members, so what the hell. It is what it is.  

Pandemic Update: How We Are and Are Not Progressing

Small Business Conundrums 

Since the beginning of the pandemic, there have been several local businesses I have continued to support because I can't imagine my community without them.  But recent events have caused me to question my support of two of these businesses and I guess I'm writing this here in the hopes that someone will either tell me that I'm doing the right thing or tell me what to do that would be right thing.

First, my yoga studio. I have paid for a monthly membership to my yoga studio since April 2020. This allows me unlimited classes every month, but let's be honest, it's a small studio and really only offers six to seven classes a week. I aimed for two a week and usually made this goal, but not always. Previous to March 2020, I would regularly take a class at the actual studio every week and I enjoyed those classes, but I'm one of the strange people who actually prefer the Zoom classes (in my home! no commute! no showering at strange places!) and have found that the online format has been a boon to my *snotty voice* yoga practice.

But a couple of weeks ago, the owner of the studio posted an anti-vax, anti-mask meme on her personal Facebook page (this page is where she posts all of her business-related content, too).  It was not her own writing, but still  I was shocked, appalled, and frankly disturbed that someone in the health and wellness industry would post such information.  It just seems dangerous and irresponsible.  I wrote a comment along the lines of "I'm disappointed that you posted this" and have since not been to a class or interacted with her online.  I am on the hook for a membership through the end of November (you have to purchase in three month intervals and I reupped at the beginning of this month), but I'm honestly contemplating just not going to any more classes and not signing up for anything from the studio ever again.  Is this an extreme reaction this situation?

Second, there's the dog groomer. We've taken Hannah the Dog to a local groomer since we got her because it's within walking distance our house and this groomer does all the things that Dr. BB and I don't want to do - trim her nails and empty her anal glands, to be highly specific - at a super reasonable price.  She knows Hannah and puts up with all our weird requests that include not feeding her anything and using only her prescription shampoo.  But this groomer with her wonderful accommodations for our weird dog and her incredibly reasonable prices comes with some challenges. I've never once gone there at the scheduled time.  The groomer has a chronic illness and frequently reschedules because she's not well or she overbooks on days when she can work and calls to ask us to come in earlier or later.  I would estimate that I've only ever gone there at the planned time once or twice in the two years that we've had the dog, going to the groomer every four to eight weeks.  The last time she cancelled, she never called to reschedule and to be honest, it's hard enough to plan my days around the dog's appointments without those appointments becoming moving targets, so I actually did some research and started looking at other groomers in our area.  

I took Hannah to another groomer (she really needed it) and the groomer hardly touched her nails and doesn't actually empty anal glands because apparently this is a serious issue of division among groomers (it's internal and groomers are "supposed to" only do external things, APPARENTLY).  Anyway, these are details. Do I continue to take Hannah to the unreliable groomer or do I keep on with my search through local groomers (there are three or four more I can still try based on a crowd-sourced Facebook recommendation list)?  Someone please tell me what to do.  

Workout Clothes: I Hate It

I need some new workout pants for cooler weather. I need some new sports bras, too.  I have twice in the last month had to put off a workout because I ran out of clean sports bras and rather than increase the number of times I do laundry (once a week is all I can take), I feel like adding two or three sports bras to my rotation will make life easier.  But, listen.  I hate spending money on exercise things. I feel like I should be able to buy some nice shoes and a nice yoga mat and everything else should be free tshirts and hand me down boxer shorts.  But it doesn't work like that. So I need to to spend time researching the best workout pants/bras for my needs AND then spend the money and this makes me bitter.

Okay, workout pant criteria. I want a full-length pant. Capris can suck a duck because they always cut off right at my scar on my bad leg and I hate it. I want a pocket for my phone and my keys. I want them to NOT ROLL ON MY WAIST. Some women swear leggings are comfortable and I'm utterly befuddled because NO THEY ARE NOT THEY ALWAYS ROLL and I'm irrationally angry about this. I have found some running SHORTS that do not roll, but all of my yoga pants and running pants DO ROLL and this is frustrating.  

If you didn't think that was enough of a thing, let me tell you about bras. I hate the ones with velcro.  I hate the ones with seams that rub against my upper arm. I hate the ones with seams that touch my fucking breasts (I'm hyperventilating thinking about this).  I need it to support my absolutely boring C-cup boobs when I do things like run, squat jumps, and jumping jacks. I have a really old stretched out sports bra that should have been thrown away years ago, but it's the only one I own that meets these criteria, although it's slowly becoming unable to do the basic requirement of supporting my boobs when the rest of my body is bouncing.  

Sunday: Not a Day of Rest

I slept in on Sunday and immediately regretted it because my to-do list was so long.  

1) Yoga video - Since I'm on a yoga studio strike, I've been slacking on yoga and I really need it.

2) Dog park - The dog needs to run and be free and play with other dogs and it's a gorgeous day.

3) Laundry - Standing Sunday chore.

4) Dumb work email reminding people to do things I asked them to do last Monday and Wednesday and now am sending on a fucking weekend because I need it for a meeting on Monday mid-morning

5) Vacuum/sweep floors  Standing Sunday chore.

6) Dog nails - We use a Dremel to trim the dog's nails, but she really doesn't like it, which is why we pay good money to our groomer to do it.  Unfortunately, the groomer we were trying out did a very bad job on her nails - I might argue she did absolutely NOTHING to her nails - so now we have to do it.  This involved one person shoveling kibble into her mouth (Dr. BB) while someone else went at her nails with a vengeance (me).  This took three sessions over the entire day and NO ONE was happy at the end of it and her nails were only SORT OF okay.

7) Text D/M/T/T - At some point, I just stopped reaching out to people who don't live with me and I need to stop that.

8) Update blog - I'm so behind.  I will never catch up and I guess that's okay since this space doesn't have to be a priority.  

9) Duolingo - Every day. I do it every day.

10) Get dinner started by five - Because I get to go to book club tonight (item #13), I need to start dinner super early so that I can have fed the dog, cat, and husband before I leave.

11) Sympathy card - Someone in book club's dog died and I need to write a sympathy card for their family and give to her at book club. 

12) Make cookies - For book club (item #13).

13) Go to book club - My reward for getting the rest of this fucking list done.

Overall

You guys, I'm losing my mind. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.  I'm so exhausted of policing where I think is safe or not.  I honestly don't care if I get Covid at this point - I'm vaccinated and most people who are vaccinated get mild symptoms - but I DO care if I pass it on to someone who is vulnerable or unvaccinated.  And I'm tired of part of the policing have to judge how seriously I think other people take their own mitigation strategies.  I'm so tired.

I want to go to a restaurant and eat in. I want to go to a work meeting without a mask on. I want to go see my mom and not worry about whether or not I'll catch something on the way there. I want to just do a weekend away with my husband without planning every little interaction we might have with someone. I don't want to panic anymore when my doorbell rings because the person on the other side isn't wearing a mask. I want to be able to hand out candy on Halloween. I want things to be normal again.  But I know that I can't live like that because it's not normal.  So we go on.  

Yes to Masks for the Upcoming School Year

Our local school board is on the fence about whether or not students should be required to wear masks in our district buildings in the upcoming school year.  Here's the email I sent to each member of the school board in my district, as well as the superintendent.

Dear Members of the School Board,

Thank you for taking the time to read my email and thank you for all the important work you do to make [our town] a great place! I am writing to you as a concerned community member to make a request as you evaluate and implement a “back to school” plan. I am concerned for my health, the health of all  students, and the health of every member of the [our town] community. I want the plan you approve and implement to have basic requirements supported by public health experts that will protect the public health of all.

As a person in the [our town] community, I know there is pushback on mandatory face mask requirements. However, the evidence and science is very clear about the benefits of face coverings to stop the spread of COVID-19. The CDC recommends universal indoor masking for all students (age 2 and older), staff, teachers, and visitors to K-12 schools, regardless of vaccination status, as does the American Academy of Pediatrics.  

After the last year and a half of uncertainty around modes of instruction and whether or not students will be able to be in classrooms with their friends and peers, the children in our school district deserve some semblance of normalcy and routine. The only way to get that will be to enforce masks, frequent hand washing, and requiring vaccinations for school district employees.  Without these precautions, it is likely that an outbreak will once again disturb students' routines and force our school district to close one or more district buildings as this extremely contagious strain of the virus rampages through our community.

Thank you for your time. 
NGS

Please consider writing something similar to your school board members. Lives are literally at stake.  

So Much Shopping, So Little Time (Thanks, Delta Variant)

I was stung by a wasp on Sunday when I took Hannah the Dog over for a playdate with her friend Gus the Boston Terrier. My whole arm turned red and swollen.  The lymph node by my left underarm also turned painful and swollen. I've been icing and elevating it, but in general I'm over this wasp sting.  General rule of thumb: try not to get stung by a wasp.  Anyway, all of this to say that I do not have a book post up today because I have not read an entire book because I keep falling asleep when I read because, you know, Benadryl giveth and Benadryl taketh away.

So I will talk about how much shopping I've done and it will give you some idea as to why I'm scared to look at my credit card bill.

1) In March, I talked about how annoyed I was with an IKEA bookshelf that was in our kitchen.  I desperately wanted a piece of "real" furniture to replace it. I started scouring estate sales, Facebook Marketplace listings, and antique shops.  

For years we lived with this. Years.

There was a shop in our town that I had never visited because I thought it was a clothing store, but I saw something on Facebook about how their patio section was 10% off and in the background I saw a sideboard that was perfect.  I gasped and made Dr. BB go over there with me to look around.

Doesn't it look so much better?  The mixer and microwave sit on top and all our cookbooks and the like are in the drawers.  (The black circle on the right is the base of Zelda the Cat's food bowl. You might like to know that we had to order her a special bowl and now we have to clean her chin twice a day because her kitty acne was out of control. Her medicines are also in this photo.  We have to shave her chin weekly. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE LOW MAINTENAINCE PETS?) Anyway, it pleases me greatly every time I walk in the room to see this.  Also, we moved the bookshelf into the mudroom and now we have extra space for the books my husband keeps bringing into our home.

2) In April, I posted about how I needed some clothes to go back to work. (In retrospect, I'm a fool for purchasing clothes for this purpose since the rise in cases in our county and the new CDC guidelines make it clear that I'm still not going to be going in to my workplace regularly anytime soon. I can't control my anger at people who are still not vaccinated. I can't control my anger at unvaccinated people who are not wearing masks. My whole "people handle the pandemic how they handle the pandemic" mantra is no longer working and my rage is intense.)  Here's what I've come up with.

A) O'Connell's Classic Audrey Dress in black

Sleeves. Check. Pockets. Check.  Flattering neckline. Check. Made in USA. Check.  It's a cotton mix, so not an entirely natural fabric, but it's flattering, work appropriate, and met so many of my requirements that I couldn't say no.

B) Marimekko Puuskahdus Sundress

Fun print. Check. Pockets. Check. Natural fabric. Check.  This is a perfect dress for the likes of me.  

Unfortunately, it was on clearance, so they didn't have my exact size. I bought the next size up and am hoping to get to a tailor to get it taken in. If that can't be done, I'll find myself a thin belt and that's that. I think I can put on a white/cream lightweight cardigan and wear this to the office.

C) O'Connell's Women's Color Blocked Fitted Merino Knit Jacket

I know this cost a lot more than I would normally spend, but the fit is perfect and it's classic, but the colorblocking has just the right twist of modern. It's a glorious piece and I can imagine wearing it A LOT.  It's also crazy soft.  I might be in love with this jacket. 

If you ever find yourself in Buffalo, New York, please go to O'Connell's and tell me all about how it's a wonderful place. I wish I could go in person because I'm pretty sure I'd buy everything.

3) The other thing that has come up is that my father-in-law and his wife got married last September in the height of the pandemic and, of course, we weren't there. They are planning an extravaganza over Labor Day weekend and one of the big events is a reception thing and they are planning on taking family photos.  We last took family photos on this side of the family in 2012 and I still have that photo hanging up in our living room, so I know that this photo will be around for approximately forever.  I needed a new dress for this purpose.

A) Cobalt Street Cotton Square Neck A-Line Mid-Calf Dress - Dark Green

There are no pockets, which is a bummer, but it's super flattering, all cotton, and a great color.  I almost swooned when I tried it on. 

Dr. BB is on the hunt for a tie he can wear that coordinates with this dress. We are going to look SO AMAZING.

(I'm also going to be Very Irritated if this shindig is cancelled/delayed because of COVID. I am beyond agitated that I had approximately three weeks of "normal" and now I'm back to masking if I so much as leave the house and am thinking about viruses hourly again. Dr. BB is going to shave his beard off so that masks will fit and I'm so sad to see it go. His beard is fabulous and My Irritation is growing as I type this.)  

B) Cobalt Street Black T-Shirt Dress

I threw this into my cart on a whim. I think it will be a great work piece with some leggings and boots for fall/winter. It doesn't have pockets, but I think I'll probably wear a jacket with it most of the time and the jacket will have pockets, so it's probably okay. Or I might regret it as I have to lint roll it 834927384 times a day. We'll see.

4) The only thing left on my list of things to be purchased is a nude t-strap heel to wear with that gorgeous green dress.  I have not found one yet that meets my criteria, but I have a little over a month to figure it out, so I guess I will have to do so.

I'm also on the lookout for a new shampoo and conditioner.  I'd been using Aveda, but my hair gets oily after only one day, so I washing my hair every day which is not sustainable for me.  I tried some samples of Olaplex (terrible packaging, especially for the price, not a fragrance I enjoyed, and it made my hair feel heavy) and Verb Ghost (I actually really did like this, but the price has frightened me off - I should see if I can find a dupe somewhere).  Any good recs for shampoo and conditioner for a lady with fine hair that she only wants to wash every other day?

I'm off to ice and elevate my arm.  Have you bought anything recently that is making you nervous to look at your credit card statement?

Update: Dog, Re-entry, and No Mow May

I last left you on the edge of your seat about Hannah's upcoming MRI.  The procedure took place, the vets and vet techs all assured me that Hannah was the sweetest thing you could imagine, and here we are.  Hannah has several places of inflammation in her spinal discs - the diagnosis is discospondylitis. This inflammation is probably caused by an infection (a secondary infection - likely she got it from one of her previous reoccurring skin infections). A-ha! you think!  An infection! Easy to treat.  Ha ha!  The joke's on you.

For one, it's not clear what the infection is - fungal or bacterial?  For another, it's not in an area that's able to be biopsied and it's an area where there's not a lot of blood flow or vascular reach, so it's hard to get medicine to that area.  

The treatment plan we are currently going with is to assume it's a bacterial infection and give her massive amounts of antibiotics (750 mg twice a day).  Additionally, she's on restricted activity for a month or so while we see if these antibiotics are working. After that, we can start to slowly build up her activity level.  But even if she seems fine, we will still keep her on these medicines for six to nine months (!).  But if it doesn't work, we'll have a tough decision to make (switch to a different antibiotic? an anti-fungal?).

In the meantime, we're trying to get Hannah to take seven pills a day (four antibiotics, a probiotic, two different allergy pills). Since her diet is limited to her kibble, eggs, chicken, sweet potato, and pumpkin, we are struggling with getting her to take these pills.  There's no cheese, pill pouches, or peanut butter on the table, so things are tough.  We have a strategy to get her to take her pills (lots of disgusting chicken* and hard-boiled eggs), but now she's absolutely refusing to eat her kibble. Since we're been told repeatedly by vets that she can't lose weight, I'm absolutely flustered by this new development.

She's basically refusing to take kibble by hand, which means she is not training at all. Our sweet, obedient dog has taken to refusing to do any commands.  She's also refusing to eat kibble out of her bowl, so that's the conundrum. She wants the special treats (which we only give her to take her pills) and is otherwise on food strike.  I'm starting to have dreams about me trying to convince various creatures, not always Hannah, to eat food.  It's not only taking over my waking hours, but my sleeping. I honestly don't  know how folks with sick children do it because I'm losing my sanity over a sick dog.

Meanwhile, Dr. BB and I have been fully vaccinated for a couple of months and we're trying to dip our toes into the water of leaving the house.  We went to see his sister and her family a few weeks ago and just this past weekend we went to a birthday party for our twin niece and nephew (these babies turned 12! - reading that post is so crazy because they're all grown up now and giving me book recommendations) that was most of the folks in Dr. BB's family. Next weekend, I'll be traveling to see my family.  

I've had a haircut and eyebrow wax and am looking forward to a mani/pedi soon.  We had a couple friend (also vaccinated) over for a couple of hours one night.

So all that's going well. But I'm so anxious when I go to stores and people are wandering around without masks. I'm sill wearing my mask everywhere I go. I can't imagine feeling comfortable eating in a restaurant, which is a bit stressful even in non-pandemic times.  Since I'll be traveling next weekend further than a couple of hours away, I might have to deal with this sooner rather than later. I'm still sort of rushing through most indoor activities, but hopefully the stress will go away soon.

On the home front, a local community group sponsored No Mow May in our town, so we haven't mowed the back or side yard at all this year. Things are getting out of control out there. I often think about how crazy it would be if humans were completely eradicated.  Nature would take over manmade structures so quickly that it wouldn't be too long before all traces of humans were gone from the surface of the Earth (this thought made me order The World Without Us from the library - stay tuned for the inevitable book review). Anyway, things are going to get real around here with yardwork and the like.  

And that is the update.  More details to follow after I've officially stayed in a hotel.  

*Dr. BB and I have essentially become vegetarians. I mean, not really, since we eat chicken stock and I'll eat meet if I go to a restaurant, but we don't eat meat in the house. The smell of the chicken cooking in the InstantPot was revolting, but needs must.

2021 Quarterly Goals

Since 2017, I've set quarterly goals for myself. I've definitely improved my fitness routines, but other things have slipped.  I try to use SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, timebound) goals.  I'll post quarterly updates on how all this goes.  It might be too much for quarter one, but I'm going to jump in with both feet and see how it all shakes loose.

 Area One: Health - I'm riding high from my successful 2020 goal of maintaining my activity level, despite a pandemic and really just taking advantage of things within walking distance of my house. I'd like to continue this trend in 2021 and finally tackle my eating habits, which are good, but are preventing me from losing that last ten pounds.

1) Yoga classes of thirty minutes or more twice a week 
2) Other fitness classes/fitness activities of thirty minutes or more three times per week
3) Tracking goal
        Q1: Liquid intake using Aqualert 
        Q2: Caloric intake using My Fitness Pal
        Q3: Weight using our Wii balance board
        Q4: TBD depending on how the first three quarters go

Area Two: Financial - I'm an adult and I should know more about where my money goes.  

1) Track what I spend my money on each month - I did this with the dog and cat last year, but I'd like to extend it to see where my money is going (I'm modelling it after monthly budget updates from Stephany Writes)
2) Put $500 into our savings account each month and $500 into my retirement accounts
3) Create a budget using the tracking information to save more money - this isn't very specific or measurable, but I'd like to see if I can cut my costs by 10% from the first quarter to the last.  We'll see.

Area Three: Communication - I like this area. It makes me feel (mostly) like I'm accomplishing something, even when the other areas come to a screeching halt.

1) Continue to post to my blog twice a week - I did this last year and I don't see any reason why I can't maintain it this year.
2) Continue to send snail mail to my uncle K, aunt D, and my mom once a month, plus one other person who will be chosen on a rotating basis - Again, a habit I picked up in 2020 and it seems reasonable to keep it up. 
3) Keep a list of the books I read - Easy enough to do.  Done!

4) Keep a list of the snail mail I send - Also easy enough to do.

Area Four: Personal Improvement - This is a catch-all category for everything else in my life.

1) Brush Hannah and Zelda's teeth every day - This is just so hard. I don't really have a good place for it in my routine, but it needs to get done.
2) Do a 30-day challenge every month
    January: Meditation every day using the Headspace app on my phone
    February: 30-day core challenge
    March: This insane good posture in 30 days challenge
3) Duolingo every day - Ideally I'd like to move away from Duolingo in 2022 to actually consuming media in Spanish, but for now this is what it is. 
4) One house project every month - I did not do this well last year, but let's see what happens in 2021.

        

2020 Goals, 4th Quarter Update!

My original post is here.

Area One: Health
1) Work out three times a week for 30 minutes or more - In these thirteen weeks, I worked out for thirty minutes or more a total of 56 times, which averages to 4.3 times a week, so I hit this goal.  
2) Work out an additional two times a week for at least 15 minutes - I did 12 additional workouts that were less than 30 minutes, so I also hit this goal (since I was over my 30 minute goal by just over one workout per week).  Nice. I'm impressed with myself for hitting these metrics.
3) At least two strength training workouts every week - This came to 33 total workouts, which is 2.5 a week. Nailed it. 

4) Brush Hannah and Zelda's teeth every day: This didn't happen. Add it to the 2021 goal list.

Overall, I'm super impressed with my own workout goals. I'll definitely work on prioritizing the dog and cat next year.

Area Two: Professional
1) Get my email under control and keep it there (try to keep the inbox to 15 emails or fewer at all times): No. It just isn't a thing I do. I have under a hundred.  I'm just terrible about it and don't have a great filing system because so many emails should go in multiple folders and it's confusing.  I should continue to make this a goal, but I'm just not going to. I basically have given up.
2) Volunteer position - I'm on the board for my local community center.  I'm head of the programming committee and I'd like to get a program started in 2020 - Ha ha. Nothing happened, but I did hold a programming meeting in December.  

This area just didn't get any love. I give up entirely on these goals.

Area Three: Communication 
1)  Post to Instagram once a day  - 83.7%. I think that's a grand slam, considering I honestly never leave a four block radius of my house. 
2) Update blog at least twice a week - I actually posted every day in November, so I obviously met this goal in November. In December I posted 12 times and October I posted 13, so I managed to do it in those months, too. Yay me!
3)  Keep track of books read - I did keep a running total. Yay! 
4) Send a postcard/note/letter to my mom, aunt, and uncle every month every month - It's so easy at the end of the year - Halloween card in October, Thanksgiving card in November, and Christmas card in December. Done!

I really hit these communication goals out of the park. Go me.

Area Four: Personal Improvement Projects
1) Tackle one project around the house every week  - Nope. 
2) Duolingo every day - I did do this! Yay me!
3) Take at least three more classes with Hannah - Obviously not. Stupid covid. We do train every day twice a day for 5-10 minutes.  She's super cute and loves to "earn" her breakfast and dinner.
4) Try a new recipe every week - Ha ha ha! I tried two new recipes this quarter and they were both disasters.  Oh, well.

So, these were a mixed bag, but at least I tried! It's obvious that I end up prioritizing some goals over others, but isn't that the way it goes? 

Obligatory Thankful Post

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States.  We're at home, just me and Dr. BB with the dog and cat occasionally coming by to remind us that they exist.

I'm thankful for:

1) Our health:  It goes without saying that Dr. BB's health issues have always been front and center in our lives and 2020 has been no exception. We're both healthy and pleased to be able to do what it takes to remain so.

2) Our little family: I don't think I could have done all this social distancing and isolation with any one other than Dr. BB. We know each other well enough to know when to just leave the room and when to pester. I also don't think I could have survived without my thrice daily walks with the dog and occasional snugglefests on the couch with the cat.

3) Food and shelter: With so many people wondering how they are going to pay the rent or mortgage or how many meals they'll be able to eat today, I'm lucky to have a gorgeous house and to be able to afford all the food we need. I never take it for granted.

4) Flexible workplace: My boss has been super supportive and has allowed me to continue to work from home throughout this entire pandemic.  I feel grateful when I can walk my dog in the middle of the afternoon or run to the pharmacy on non-peak hours.

5) Meditation and yoga: Last year at this time, I was slowly losing control of my anxiety. I was having nightmares, the list making was uncontrollable, and I was counting, counting, counting.  I vowed in January to increase the number of yoga classes I took and it's made 2020 so much more pleasant for me in terms of my mental health, despite the stress and worry over the pandemic and the election.  

The Great Christmas Ornament Search of 2020

Every year I pick out one personalized Christmas ornament for us. It used to be ONE ornament because we had a tiny tree.  We've now upgraded to a full-sized tree, but the tradition lives on. Here are suggestions from 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019.  More importantly, here are my top contenders for the year.  I'm getting on this early this year because of delays in shipping and obtaining materials for many small businesses.

1. Dumpster Fire 2020 from InsertBrandHere ($18.89 as is, $23.39 for personalization, free shipping) - I mean, it is symbolic of the shambles that is 2020. I'm not sure it's something I'll want to look back fondly on in years to come, though.  I mean, maybe it's too on the nose.

2. Toilet Paper Shortage Ornament from FountainOfWishes ($12.99/ornament): Or maybe just lean into it and go all the way on the nose?

3. There's also just a straight Fuck 2020 ornament. I could get behind how it looks sort of pretty and classy at first glance. $12 from FrankNBeams.

4. Maybe just one that says Our First Pandemic from 3CEtching ($11.20)?  I'm tempted to order these in bulk and give them away to all my friends as presents. I wish you could personalize it with some text on the back. I bet that would be possible with a convo with the seller.

5. The Good Place Jeremy Bearimy ornament from LeahHallIllustration ($30) - As somebody who has an ornament commemorating the year we were obsessed with The Walking Dead (2014), I can totally get on board with a pop culture reference in my ornament.

6. In keeping with the theme of popular culture I enjoyed this year, maybe a Great British Bake-Off themed ornament?  I love this Have a Mary Berry Christmas ornament ($8.28, but shipping from the UK, so factor in time and shipping expense). 

7. The Year We Stayed Home from OrindasOrnaments ($16.95 plus $5.95 shipping. although shipping is free if you spend over $35) - I love that this is a more positive approach to 2020 and that you can put a dog and a cat on it!  I always love when Zelda and Hannah get to be a part of the holiday traditions.

8. Build Your Own Stick Figure Ornament from MintPrintStudio ($19.95) - Another one that allows you to add your pets!  I think that is adorable. Unfortunately, there aren't other options for the man and woman stick figure, so that dude has way too much hair to be appropriate in our house!

9. 2020 Event ornament ($12.59) - These have been all over my social media account this year.  Maybe I should just accept that the 2020 ornament will not be as sweet and wonderful as ornaments past? It's like a distilled version of hell on a celebratory item.

10. Lovebirds ($19) - I've had lovebirds on my list a few times before and it's been kind of hard to find an ornament that has lovebirds, but doesn't have hearts all over it.  This one might work.  

So what should it be, my friends? What ornament will represent the year that will go down in infamy?  

Strange Times

 

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I used to wake up every morning, put on clothing meant to be seen by other people, and go to the office. It's even harder to believe that I would potentially also go to a store or two, maybe even tutor someone, or even go to a coffeeshop and sip an iced coffee while I worked.  It's even harder to believe that it was only eight months ago. Sometimes that eight months feels like a decade ago; sometimes it feels like two days ago.  

I'm actually relieved we don't have to have our yearly battle over where we're going for the holidays. We're going to stay right here and that's awesome.  I mean, it's not awesome why it's happening, but I've been saying for more than a decade that I'd like to spend the holidays at home. Woot woot. The next time I have to get in a car for longer than twenty minutes, things are going to be bad for me.

Does anyone else find it surprising how exhausting it is to do nothing and go nowhere?  I wake up in the morning ready to go back to bed and start getting to ready to go to bed as soon as dinner is over.  It's not like I'm doing more than I was doing in February - I am working out the same amount, walking the dog the same amount, doing the same amount of housework (with a smidge more cooking because I can make lunch at home!) - but I'm far more exhausted. I'm sure there's a reason for this - the trauma means I'm sleeping less well, so I'm actually getting less sleep?  I'm slightly depressed and/or anxious so the idea of a nap is ever more appealing?  the weather and the fact that the sun sets at four in the afternoon is responsible?  I don't know. I'm just exhausted, but not for any discernible reason. 

As of right now, here's what I'm willing to do:

1) Go to the grocery store/pharmacy/hardware store weekly while wearing a mask.

2) Go to get the CSA delivery biweekly while wearing a mask.

3) Pick up library books curbside while wearing a mask.

4) Go through the drive through to get a decaf americano while wearing a mask. I have cancelled orders when the people at the window weren't wearing masks.

5) Get curbside pickup of lunch at a local pub while wearing a mask.  Yes, I've only done that twice since March, but I'm willing to do it. I'm just too lazy to order food and pick it up when there's food at my house.

6) Playdates for Hannah with our friends B&H who live two blocks away and who have a dog named Gus. These are outside in their backyard and every human is wearing a mask.

Here's what I'm unwilling to do:

1) Go to bars, restaurants, or any place where people take off masks to eat or drink.

2) Get any personal grooming done - no hair cuts, no mani/pedis.

3) Go to any events outdoors with more than five people.

4) Obviously, go to indoor events.  None really.

Maybe someday this will all seem like a fake reality someone else lived.

2) Face to face book club.  This has put me a bit on the outs with a lot of my book clubbers, but I'm holding my ground.

Almost Every Day

We come to this park almost every day. It's a strange oasis in our neighborhood with pond, river, prairie, and forest areas. It's only 3.5 acres, but there's a lot packed into that small footprint.  There's a metal bridge, the kind where the metal has holes through it, that crosses the river to a forested island.  Poor Hannah is scared of the bridge because she can see her reflection in the water below, but yesterday she went halfway across before retreating. I want her to cross the bridge so I can let her off leash on the island and her progress has been slow, but steady.

We come to this park almost every day. Most days I let her off leash in the wide open grassy field so that she can burn off all her energy before we start serious training. She runs around, she sniffs, she jumps up and down like a canine deer in the tall prairie grasses.  Then I put her leash back on and we walk the trails where we practice not lunging or barking at people or other dogs and loose leash walking. She's not lunging or barking because she's mean, but because she wants attention. I want her learn that I'm the attention she needs.  

We come to this park almost every day. Today the sky was a clear blue with wispy clouds.  You can hear the birds, especially the ducks on the pond who quack and quack. You can hear the susurrus of the wind through the tall grasses, but you can also hear the bells toll for the changing of classes at the nearby junior high school. Even though the school is currently remote, you can hear the long blaring toll that makes you immediately worry you're going to be marked tardy.  The ground is almost always soft, winter excepted, because it's a wet, swampy area. Most of the year, there are mosquitoes constantly buzzing, but right now is the best time of year because the overnight frost has killed the mosquitoes, but it's not so cold that we can't walk and walk and walk.  

We come to this park almost every day. Most days we see a couple of people, maybe a dog or two. I try to keep Hannah in a sitting position when people walk by, giving her handful after handful of kibble, but sometimes people will want to talk.  "What's your dog's name?" "What kind of dog is she?" "How old is she?" "Can I pet her?" "How big is she going to get?" Hannah, 100% super, around three, yes, she's full grown.  

We come to this park almost every day. People tell me that the self-isolation and social distancing is wreaking havoc with their mental health and I can understand that. But between regular yoga and our excursions to the park, I have stayed pretty sane. I'm lucky that this park is just blocks from our house and I'm even luckier that I have a companion as adorable and good-natured as this one to go with me on mini-adventures daily.  I will never take for granted how lucky I am that I have access to fresh air, clean water, and space to roam, along with the physical abilities to enjoy those things.

Hourly Report 11/11/2020

7am: Alarm goes off, walk Hannah the Dog, train Hannah, put flag out for Veterans Day, sit on the couch for five minutes until the cat starts meowing her head off to get pets. Pet the cat on "her rug" for a few minutes.

8am: Breakfast (yogurt with granola, raspberries, grapes, cranberry juice, and a handful of vitamins) and shower.

9am: Try to boot up my laptop. Have issues connecting with the network.  By 9:45am, I have troubleshooted/restarted my computer enough to realize I had been invited to a meeting at 10. Quickly RSVP and make sure I look presentable.

10am - 11:20am: Work meeting about outreach. This is the third marketing strategy we've had since I've been at this job in March. I'm exhausted just thinking about it and how much I don't like this part of my job.

11:20am - noon: Dr. BB comes down briefly to tell me the flag is caught on something, so we go out to fix it. This involves a hammer and a stepstool.  Hannah is thrilled that we are both downstairs in the middle of the day.  I sit on the couch, send a few emails, and generally loaf.

Noon - 1pm: I put vegetables in the oven to roast (carrots, potatoes, daikon radish) while I write a quick blog post about a book I just read. Eat lunch of vegetables, guacamole and pretzels, some almonds, a lime LaCroix, and a mini Kit Kat and mini peanut butter pumpkin leftover from Halloween candy. I also browsed reddit and read a bit of a book while I ate.

1pm - 2:45pm: I work a bit, sending emails and creating some documents that will be useful at some point, I hope.  I also deal with the mail at this time. We had gotten a delivery from Bob's Red Mill and I had to unpack some dry goods. The cat enjoyed the box.

2:45pm - 3:45pm: I walk with Hannah. We go to the park near our house where I let her roam around off-leash illegally for a while. Then we practice seeing people and dogs without lunging and/or barking.  We spend about six blocks focused only on loose leash walking.  When we get home, she passes out because it's hard work being a good girl.

Illegally off leash. But look how cute she is!

3:45pm - 4:15pm: I walk to the library to return some books and go to the Hallmark store where I buy birthday cards for the rest of the month a few Thanksgiving Day cards. I forgot my mask until I was about two blocks away from home and had to race back to get it.

4:15pm-4:25pm: Frantically try to change clothes, find my shoes, and get ready for my workout class.

4:25pm - 5:30pm: Workout class. Our local hospital has unlimited classes via Zoom for $20 a month. There are usually six to eight half-hour classes a week and I try to get to four or five a week. I did two classes back to back today.  It had been unseasonably warm for November, but a cold front came through yesterday. My bad leg is killing me and I had to start doing modified exercises in the last half of the second class, which I hate doing because it feels like defeat, but I guess it's better to do modified exercises than just sitting on the couch.  I also took the flag down in between classes because the sun had set. 

5:30pm - 6:00pm: Worked on this post and browsed reddit. Listen to the cat meow because she is simply starving.

6:00pm - 6:20pm: Fed Zelda the Cat. Did training with Hannah and gave her dinner. Dr. BB is teaching an evening class on campus, so I'm doing this chore on my own. It's generally easier if each of us takes one creature, but the girls are fed, even if I don't do it to Zelda's exacting specifications.

6:30pm - 7:15pm: Made dinner (butternut squash risotto in the InstantPot), collected trash and took the bin to the end of the driveway, and cleaned up as many of the dishes I used in making dinner as I could.

7:15-7:45pm: Ate dinner.

7:45pm - 8:15pm: Addressed all the greeting cards that I bought for the month at Hallmark earlier in the afternoon.  

8:15pm - 8:45pm: Took Hannah out for her evening walk.  She loves the cooler weather.

9:00pm - 9:45pm: Got ready for bed and put Hannah to bed in the mudroom.

9:45pm - 10:15pm; Read in bed for a bit (Goddess of the Hunt by Tessa Dare - so far I'm pretty unimpressed) before I closed my Kindle and fell asleep within twenty seconds. 

Hannah the Dog: Pandemic Update

7am: We wake Hannah up (she's the cuddliest she'll be all day in the first three minutes she sees us), take her out for a quick walk around the block, 5-10 minutes of training, and then she gets whatever kibble is left of her designated kibble for breakfast.

For the rest of the morning, Hannah naps. She moves between a sunny spot in the mudroom and the living room where she can be with me.  

It's exhausting to be Hannah.

Sometime between 11am and 4pm, Hannah gets her long walk of the day. I aim for 45 to 60 minutes. This is probably the weirdest thing about pandemic living for Hannah since most of the time we'd have been at work during this period and her long walk would be later in the day. We frequently go to a little used park near our house and I let her run around in a field off-leash. Technically this is illegal and I keep a super close eye out and if anyone comes within eyesight, I recall Hannah to me and put her on a leash.  We also have been working on her leash skills on this walk because she's great at loose leash in our training sessions, but she's not great at applying those skills to actual walks with distractions like squirrels, other dogs, and bicycles.  

We've been working on polite leash manners while on stairs. We went up and down these stairs many times.

After her walk, she naps some more. At 6pm, we do another short training session of 5-10 minutes and give her dinner. Between 7:30 - 9:00pm, we go for another walk. This walk can be super brief if Hannah isn't enjoying it, particularly if the weather is cold or rainy, but it can also be another 45 minute one if she's living her best life. The last week or so has been unseasonably warm and Hannah has been really loving the after dark time.  

Just working on stay and come on the bridge!

Hannah still has some health woes. There's something wrong with her back end and we can't figure out what it is. I need to schedule her for an MRI, but it's nerve-wracking to think about putting her under sedation and it's super expensive.  In the meantime, we keep her active with lots of walks and training and limit her running and jumping.  

She's still a timid creature. I've been working on her touching her paw to things that she's scared of.  Last week, there were some black trash bags on the side of the road and she kept jumping away from them and acting like they were the most terrifying things on the planet. I touched them with my foot and asked her to touch them with her paw. She would not do this.  A guy came out of the garage and I told him that she was scared of the bags and he told me there was a deer carcass in them and she could probably smell them. YOU THINK?!  Poor dog.

In training I'm mostly working on strengthening basics - good leash manners and stay and come. I have added a tiny bit of "dance" - getting her to turn in circles, wind between my legs, walk between my legs. I like this because she has to pay attention to me, but it doesn't require her to jump.  I need to look up some videos and see how to get dogs to move to the left and right with you, which is my next goal for her.  

Hannah used to be terrified of the hula hoop. Now she can do two paws in, all four paws in with a sit (above), two paws out, walk around it in both directions, and step through it (I dream of a dog who can jump through the hoop, but since we don't want her jumping, I lift it a couple inches off the ground and she just walks through it).  She's just so good-natured and smart and I think we are the luckiest people in the world to have her.  11/10, would adopt Hannah all over again.