Strange Times

 

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I used to wake up every morning, put on clothing meant to be seen by other people, and go to the office. It's even harder to believe that I would potentially also go to a store or two, maybe even tutor someone, or even go to a coffeeshop and sip an iced coffee while I worked.  It's even harder to believe that it was only eight months ago. Sometimes that eight months feels like a decade ago; sometimes it feels like two days ago.  

I'm actually relieved we don't have to have our yearly battle over where we're going for the holidays. We're going to stay right here and that's awesome.  I mean, it's not awesome why it's happening, but I've been saying for more than a decade that I'd like to spend the holidays at home. Woot woot. The next time I have to get in a car for longer than twenty minutes, things are going to be bad for me.

Does anyone else find it surprising how exhausting it is to do nothing and go nowhere?  I wake up in the morning ready to go back to bed and start getting to ready to go to bed as soon as dinner is over.  It's not like I'm doing more than I was doing in February - I am working out the same amount, walking the dog the same amount, doing the same amount of housework (with a smidge more cooking because I can make lunch at home!) - but I'm far more exhausted. I'm sure there's a reason for this - the trauma means I'm sleeping less well, so I'm actually getting less sleep?  I'm slightly depressed and/or anxious so the idea of a nap is ever more appealing?  the weather and the fact that the sun sets at four in the afternoon is responsible?  I don't know. I'm just exhausted, but not for any discernible reason. 

As of right now, here's what I'm willing to do:

1) Go to the grocery store/pharmacy/hardware store weekly while wearing a mask.

2) Go to get the CSA delivery biweekly while wearing a mask.

3) Pick up library books curbside while wearing a mask.

4) Go through the drive through to get a decaf americano while wearing a mask. I have cancelled orders when the people at the window weren't wearing masks.

5) Get curbside pickup of lunch at a local pub while wearing a mask.  Yes, I've only done that twice since March, but I'm willing to do it. I'm just too lazy to order food and pick it up when there's food at my house.

6) Playdates for Hannah with our friends B&H who live two blocks away and who have a dog named Gus. These are outside in their backyard and every human is wearing a mask.

Here's what I'm unwilling to do:

1) Go to bars, restaurants, or any place where people take off masks to eat or drink.

2) Get any personal grooming done - no hair cuts, no mani/pedis.

3) Go to any events outdoors with more than five people.

4) Obviously, go to indoor events.  None really.

Maybe someday this will all seem like a fake reality someone else lived.

2) Face to face book club.  This has put me a bit on the outs with a lot of my book clubbers, but I'm holding my ground.