Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn

 

Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn is the tale of Meg, an artist in New York City, and Reid, a finance guy who really hates his job.  They meet when Kate designs the program for Reid's wedding, but she notices there's no chemistry between Reid and his fiancée, so she puts a hidden clue in the program labelling it a MISTAKE. Reid's a math guy who notices patterns, so he comes back after the wedding never happens to ask Meg about it. Meg is intrigued by Reid and asks him to help her with a project she's working on and they end up walking around New York looking at handmade signs together.  Romance ensues.

Interesting characters: Oh, lord, yes. Meg is obsessed with letters and it infuses every one of her interactions with the world. This is exactly what I wanted from Lillian Bowman in It Happened One Autumn. I'm not an artist, but for a hot minute I thought I should walk around my town looking for hand drawn signs with the letters of my name.  I thought I should look into calligraphy lessons. Meg's personality quirks, how she hides things, is perfectly understandable based on her backstory.  Everything about the character of Meg was utterly perfect.

Reid is old-fashioned, buttoned up, and stuffy. It's possible he's not neurotypical, but the author never comes right out and says it, just mentions that he was impossibly bright and advanced as a child and didn't get along well with other kids at school and was bullied. What is so spot on in this book is that Meg loves him because of all this and his problems don't miraculously go away when he gets together with Meg (my biggest gripe with Devil in Winter, but maybe I should stop picking on Lisa Kleypas). Meg fell in love with Reid and his old-fashioned style of speech and his perfectly groomed suits and she continues to love that about him.

And the cast of secondary characters, including Meg's friends and Reid's family?  Just utter perfection.  There weren't so many that you were completely overwhelmed, but each was developed just enough for you to enjoy their presence. I imagine our next book will be the story of one of Meg's friends, but even if we never see these characters again and this is a standalone book, I will be forever grateful to have met them.

Believable conflict: Absolutely. The biggest thing holding these two apart is their divergent views of New York City. Meg loves the city, loves the neighborhoods, loves the people, loves how it gives her a place to be a working artist. Reid hates the city, hates his job, and is planning on moving on soon. This reads as real to me. We've all had a relationship with an end date on it and this limitation prevents both characters from being completely honest with each other and themselves. 

Emotional tension: This was a sloooooow burn. If you are looking for electric sex scenes on page twenty, this isn't for you. But it's glorious to see each of these characters slowly begin to understand one another and learn to communicate while falling in love. And it's great to see a book that tackles consent and intimacy issues in a clear, no-nonsense manner. By the time the characters get to physical intimacy, you are 100% invested in them as a couple.  

Happily ever after: A happily every after that doesn't immediately involve marriage, pregnancy, or children? Amazing.  The best part about the "some time later" scene is that it shows that Meg and Reid are STILL Meg and Reid. Reid hasn't suddenly started wearing sloppy clothing and speaking in slang. Meg hasn't suddenly figured out how to dress for the weather and stop looking at signs so much that she misses what's actually going on around her. But they're both still in love and hot for one another. It was such a pleasure to read an ending like this. 

The Goodreads reviews have this at a 3.8/5 stars and I don't understand that rating. As far as I can tell, this book was a book written specifically for me.  Kate Clayborn, you are my new favorite person and author. 

Notable lines:
1) He is definitely not going to dignify small talk with response. I might as well have asked him which sexually transmitted diseases he's been tested for. (page 54)

2) I think I quit reading at the word stochastic, which actually sort of reminded me of Reid, if what it means is a combination of stoic and sarcastic. But I'm pretty sure it has to do with calculus. (page 56)

This line made me think of grad school somewhat nostalgically. It's been quite some time since I was regularly in conversations in which stochastic and heterogeneity and the assumptions of the regression model were just things is was assumed you knew. And don't get me started on the b hat jokes.  

3) ...it's possible we've released some kind of awkward nerve gas into the air. Everyone within a half-mile radius probably pauses where they stand and winces. (page 62)

4)...shows me a piece of paper that she "totally promises" is not legally binding but that also contains scary words like practitioner (which I think means me) and termination (which I don't think means murder, but who knows). (page 75)

I audibly guffawed as this. 

5) ...and I worry I'm going to start developing some kind of Masterpiece Theatre library of sexual fantasies. Alas, alas, alas. I'm thinking about the word cravats... (page 109)

I think this line resonates with me because my husband is a buttoned-up, proper gentleman. His sartorial sense means I will always be the sloppy-looking one in photos.  I loved Reid because he's so similar to my husband, but different, too.

6) So far as I can tell, there's about ten million people in that Biergarten, and every man I can see is wearing some version of the same outfit: boat shoes, no socks, cropped-styled khakis or slim-cut shorts, pastel-colored shirts. I almost check my phone to see if I've teleported out of Brooklyn inot some college town's rush week. (page 153)

Right? Why do men all dress like this when they go to bars?

Podcast Roundup November 2020

I think this whole never leaving the house thing really got to me this month. Most of these are "podcast episodes that made me cry."

In the Dark is probably the best investigative podcast there is. Period.  It has produced two brilliant seasons. The first season covered the investigation into the disappearance of Jacob Wetterling and how law enforcement mishandled the investigation from the beginning. The second season was all about a man who had been put on trial for the same crime six times.  After that season concluded, that man, Curtis Flowers, was released from jail and eventually the charges against him were dropped.  I put off listening to the interview they did with Flowers because I wasn't sure I was ready for it, and I wasn't. I cried when Flowers talked about what it was like to watch as his neighbors on death row ate their last meals and walked to the final moments. I cried when he talked about how he couldn't go to his mother's funeral. I cried when he talked about how he understands that some people in his hometown think he committed the crime that led to the deaths of four people and that he stays away because of that. Flowers was composed, articulate, and his grief came through, but so did his empathy for the families of those who had been horribly murdered.  

I was chopping garlic and onions for dinner while listening to this episode with my headphone in and (apparently) I was sighing heavily and throwing things about. Dr. BB tapped me on the shoulder with a raised eyebrow.  And then I was explaining him to him that I was listening to this episode from The Indicator called "Why Women Are Leaving the Workforce" and suddenly I was sobbing. 

There's some sort of cliché out there about how statistics are boring, but a story is tragic. I KNEW, I KNEW that women were leaving the workforce in troves. Within my book club alone, I know one woman who quit her job entirely, one woman who went from full-time down to six days a month (every Friday and every other Saturday), and another woman whose hours were slashed.  But anecdotes aren't data and I had sort of ignored this trend in workforce numbers.  

But this episode just drove it home. Most women make less money than men, so of course women will stay home more often to deal with childcare and schooling and whatever else is happening the world these days.  And suddenly hearing that the gains made in the 1990s and 2000s have been undone in the last eight months was absolutely heartbreaking to me.  I am absolutely undone myself.  With rage.

I know that I talk about Reveal a lot, but it's because Reveal does excellent work.  "An Adolescence, Seized" is a follow-up to a story Aura Bogado did earlier this year about a girl from Honduras who had been in US immigration custody for six years.  More rage.  The way this child was treated, the way her family was treated, the way it all ended up?  Absolutely rage inducing.

And that's it. 3/3 episodes that made me cry.

Blackout Poetry of the Day

I'm sure most of you are familiar with blackout poetry - you take a text and black out all the words that you don't need for your poem. I used the text of the notes I used when I was presenting at a conference in October.  Most of these were bullet points and not complete sentences.  The presentation was about the center that we run on our campus. It's interesting to see what came out of it and I learned how to do it in Microsoft Word, although it seems like it might be easier to do in other programs.

Fool's Assassin by Robin Hobb

 The Farseer Trilogy

Assassin's Apprentice

Royal Assassin

Assassin's Quest

The Liveship Traders Trilogy

The Tawny Many Trilogy

Fool's Errand

Golden Fool

Fool's Fate

The Rain Wilds Chronicles

Dragon Keeper

Dragon Haven

City of Dragons

Blood of Dragons

Fool's Assassin is the first book in the Fitz and the Fool trilogy, which is the last of the Realm of the Elderlings (ROTE) saga. We last left Fitz as he took on the Tom Badgerlock persona and he moved to Withywoods Manor as Lady Molly's husband and he helped her raise her children.  But just as they become empty nesters, there's a baby! But then a messenger comes to Withywoods and mysteriously disappears leaving nothing but blood behind. Molly dies, Fitz is left to (badly) parent Bee, a strange baby and even stranger child. Suddenly Fitz is embroiled in a world he never meant to return to.

I adored older Fitz. He's nostalgic for Nighteyes, Molly, and the Fool, missing them all the time. He's strong and heals quickly, but he gets sore and traveling rough is not for him anymore. More importantly, he has a true understanding of the things that are important and his behavior is reflective of that understanding.  It's also interesting to read about his own reflections on his own behaviors from his reckless youth.  

But I didn't love all the new characters. Of course there are new characters.  We're not at Buckkeep Castle anymore.  But so many of them are inexplicably poorly done.  Robb is a master of character, but there are three (Shun, FitzVigilant, and Bee) who are just stereotypes of already established character types in the saga.  This book also suffers from a serious lack of plot.  Not all ROTE books are jam packed with action (Golden Fool, I'm talking about you), but this one seemed to meander and meander as Fitz checked on sheep, repaired the manor, and bought clothes and then *BAM* in the last one hundred pages everything happened all at once. In some ways, that's how life is, right? When it rains, it pours? It seems fitting that Fitz is just living his country manor life, far removed from politics and intrigue, when all of a sudden it falls into his lap.  But it doesn't make for the most exciting of reads until you get to all the excitement all at once.

Regardless of any of my nitpicks, the worst of Hobb's books is the best of fantasy. I am so looking forward to reading the next book in the series that I actually requested it from the library before I finished this one.  Robin Hobb is a literary genius.

Lines of note:

It was like watching a kitten attack a bull. (page 69)

As you know, I like a good animal analogy.

"Why aren't you with the kind? Where are your guards."

She gave me a look. "I told Dutiful I'd be with you and needed no other guard. He and Chade both agreed."

"Why?"

She stared at me. "Well, among them, you do have a certain reputation as a very competent assassin." (page 126)

Fitz's self-deprecation gets me every time. And Nettle's dry humor here also amuses me.

There are endings. There are beginnings. Sometimes they coincide, with the ending of one thing marking the beginning of  another. But sometimes there is simply a long space after an ending, a time when it seems everything has ending and nothing else can ever begin. (page 251)

Is 2020 an ending of how things used to be? Or is it the beginning of a newer, better world? 

Obligatory Thankful Post

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States.  We're at home, just me and Dr. BB with the dog and cat occasionally coming by to remind us that they exist.

I'm thankful for:

1) Our health:  It goes without saying that Dr. BB's health issues have always been front and center in our lives and 2020 has been no exception. We're both healthy and pleased to be able to do what it takes to remain so.

2) Our little family: I don't think I could have done all this social distancing and isolation with any one other than Dr. BB. We know each other well enough to know when to just leave the room and when to pester. I also don't think I could have survived without my thrice daily walks with the dog and occasional snugglefests on the couch with the cat.

3) Food and shelter: With so many people wondering how they are going to pay the rent or mortgage or how many meals they'll be able to eat today, I'm lucky to have a gorgeous house and to be able to afford all the food we need. I never take it for granted.

4) Flexible workplace: My boss has been super supportive and has allowed me to continue to work from home throughout this entire pandemic.  I feel grateful when I can walk my dog in the middle of the afternoon or run to the pharmacy on non-peak hours.

5) Meditation and yoga: Last year at this time, I was slowly losing control of my anxiety. I was having nightmares, the list making was uncontrollable, and I was counting, counting, counting.  I vowed in January to increase the number of yoga classes I took and it's made 2020 so much more pleasant for me in terms of my mental health, despite the stress and worry over the pandemic and the election.  

A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux

 

A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux is the fifteenth book in the Montgomery-Taggert series, but each book can be read as a standalone, so you don't really need to know anything about the series except that the Montgomerys are a bunch of perfect overachievers.  And that's what makes this book so special.  Dougless Montgomery is on vacation in England with her waste of space boyfriend and his terribly behaved daughter. She's a nice person, but Dougless doesn't have much of a backbone and she knows that she's different from all the super successful people in her family and she thinks that her boyfriend is the answer to her prayers.  Unfortunately, he's dismissive of her desires and needs and he's the parent of a huge teenage brat.  At some point, Dougless is abandoned by the duo of doom in an English church with no money, identification, or anything except the clothes on her back.  She begins crying on the the tomb of Nicholas Stafford, Earl of Thornwyck and suddenly he appears in full medieval armor.

So begins this tale of time travel.

Interesting characters: This book was first published in 1989 and was slightly updated in 2002, so there are some issues with the age. The earl is domineering and sexist, which isn't actually all that strange considering that he was supposed to be alive in the 1500s.  Dougless is a bit weak-willed in the early third of the book.  But! This book is a fabulous example of character growth.  By the end, both have recognized the strengths in the other.  A lot of criticisms of this book have to do with how spineless Dougless is and I understand that as a criticism, but you're definitely rooting for her by the end of the book and by the time she stands up to her sister, it's amazing.  I mean, this is a masterful example of how characters change through hardship.  

Believable conflict: So good. Of course they're going to have differences in culture, what with there being hundreds of years between their dates of birth. Of course they're not going to believe one another have actually time traveled into another year. Of course! It all seems accurate and believable and the best thing is that Deveraux somehow manages to do this without having the characters act out of their own characters, even when they're not in their own time.  

Emotional tension: Absolutely. You know that there's no way for them to end up together. I mean, he needs to stay in the 1500s to continue to support her family and she's a Montgomery and you know there's no way she'd stay in 1564 what with the dirty children, filthy towns, and poor hygiene.  They are hot for one another, for sure, but neither is going to sacrifice their own lives to be with the other and that ratchets up the emotional tension.

Happily ever after: This is another place that the book gets criticized. It's not really a happily ever after, is it?  They don't get to be together.  I found the ending satisfying, although I was disappointed that Nicholas never found his happiness. 

This is truly a masterpiece of the romantic genre. It's funny, quirky, and the rules of time traveling were simple, but we could figure them out. I remember enjoying Sweet Liar, another Deveraux joint in which there was some time slippage, so maybe that's just Deveraux's sweet spot. Regardless, I'm glad I read this book and will happily recommend it to others, particularly if they're into the time travel trope.

The Lazy Person's Way to Train Your Dog

As I've mentioned before, Hannah the Dog is a good girl. She's eager to please, obedient, and sweet. She's also chronically injured and while I'd like to take her for runs with me or let her loose in the dog park, I just can't take the risk that she'd have a flare-up of her injury. So what that means is that a physical release of energy isn't really an option for her, so we focus on using her brain and her sniffer.

1) Be Consistent

We do training for five to ten minutes a day, twice a day.  This is non-negotiable for us. She earns her breakfast and dinner and she's excited to work for us.   It's really fun, actually. Fun to watch her learn new things and fun to watch her strengthen her skills.  Most of our training revolves around basic commands and personal grooming.  

Try to be consistent within humankind, as well. It doesn't do the dog any good if her people are giving her contradictory signals. Everyone should use the same key words for each command.  Make sure the humans are on the same page about basic rules (on the couch? on the bed?  allowed to chew the towel?).  Dr. BB and I have different styles with Hannah - he's much more strict about her position in heel, for example - but we're consistent enough that she just makes slight modifications for who she's dealing with.

Here we are practicing a sit stay and it will end with a come command.  We frequently do mini-training sessions on our walks, but that's optional.

The basics: Loose leash walking, sit, down, stay (Hannah is lazy and loves a down stay, so she almost always lays down - this is not ideal, so we're working on her staying in a sit, as well as working on a stand stay), release from whatever move we're doing, leave it, go to "place"

Personal grooming: Brushing, nails/footpads/ears checked, nails filed, rolling over to the side for tick checks

Fun stuff: We do some basic dance moves - winding between my legs, twirling, walking in a circle, walking between my legs, backing up

Building up confidence: Lots of "touching" of things that she's scared of, doing work with a hula hoop and box (two paws in, all paws in, sit inside, two paws out, walking around), platforming on surfaces she's uncertain of

Sniffing: Hide and seek with her kibble is her favorite and if we do a few rounds of this, she's exhausted. She's also terrible at it, so her nose isn't quite as good as I would have imagined. We also have started trying to hide kibble under a red Solo cup and have her nose it, but she's not terribly interested in this game.  She's still learning.

2) Always Have Treats

I almost always have kibble in my pockets. If Hannah does something I want to encourage, I give her kibble. This is almost always cat related. Zelda the Cat goes running into the dining room and Hannah gives chase until she gets to the dining room doorway?  Hannah gets treats for not continuing the chase (the dining room is where we've always called her back).  Hannah the Dog goes to her place (an overturned black food dish for horses we've trained her to go to) when she comes inside of running off before we can take off her harness or dry her off?  She gets a treat.  We're just always reinforcing the behavior we want. 

I had to take Hannah up some stairs recently and noticed her heeling on the stairs was atrocious. So we practice one weekend on the stairs of our local junior high school. We must have gone up and down these stairs a dozen times. She was game.

3) Modify For Your Dog's Interests and Abilities

In my mind, I see Hannah racing through an agility course, going through tunnels and running up and down teeter totters.  Unfortunately, Hannah is scared to go inside tunnels (she likes to have her eyes on us at all times and not in scary dark areas) and her mobility issues make it so that jumping and climbing are bad ideas for her.  I desperately wanted a dog to roll over and play dead, but Hannah's back problems mean that rolling over is a terrible idea for her.

So I had to regroup.  Hannah loves obedience training. Her tail is wagging nonstop when we're doing it. She's interested in hide and seek (the tail! her nose!  her whole body shaking with excitement!). So that's what we do.  

Not all dogs like to fetch. Not all dogs like to play hide and seek. Not all dogs like to stay for five minutes at a time. Not all dogs like to run agility courses. But your dog likes something, so figure that out and help your dog learn to do it better than she currently does it.

She didn't want to go up on that stump. She was scared of it. But we persevered.  Many dogs have innate confidence, but a lot of rescues are uncertain about things. Be patient.

4) Have Fun

Hannah makes mistakes. She's not always quick to learn. We've been working on this red Solo cup thing for weeks. And we've been working on trying to get her to push a cardboard box with her paw for months.  She's sometimes stubborn and just won't do things (sit stay ALWAYS turn to a down stay with Little Miss I Lay Down When I Can). We don't always agree on what's fun! I love to practice her winding between my legs, but she's not a fan.  Don't get angry/frustrated/sad.  It's supposed to be fun for you and your dog.  

If your dog has a "miss" three times, go back to something the dog has down solidly.  Then you can get your confidence up and try again later.  Hannah's quirk to let us know that's she unhappy, bored, or scared by something is that she just lays down.  One time at an obedience class, the trainer was trying to get Hannah to jump over an obstacle and Hannah walked as far as she could to end of the leash and just laid down. I immediately jumped up and took control of Hannah and explained that it was her "stress cue" to me.  Whenever she exhibits that behavior, I just let her rest for a minute or two and then dive right back in.

Off leash to practice stay and come.  Plus she gets to run around and be adorable.

5) To Class or Not To Class

Speaking of classes, I think all puppies should go to puppy class. I think the socialization is good for puppies and most puppies like other puppies. I think most dogs should go to Canine Good Citizenship (CGC) class or something similar, as long as your dog isn't super reactive to other dogs. I think some dogs should continue on to more advanced classes - dogs who like to be around other dogs, aren't leash reactive, and show interest and enjoyment in classes. 

Hannah likes classes. She likes other dogs, she's happy to learn new things, and she's a good sport about looking like a doofus when she doesn't know how to do something.  

But some dogs don't need it. They are content to work for five minutes a day on sit/stay/roll over and they don't need to learn how to stay in a sit when other dogs are running around them.

There are also real dangers to classes.  In our CGC class, there was a mean dog. That mean dog lunged at Hannah (and another dog named Eli) multiple times. The mean dog BIT Eli when I had handed Hannah off to another person to do a supervised separation.  The trainer in charge yelled at the mean dog and dominated him and I immediately ran to get Hannah, but the damage was done. She was shaking and scared and refused to go back in the building.  

We haven't been to a class since February because of Covid stuff, but I'm not sure if we will return or not.  She's a sensitive soul and I want classes to be fun for her, not traumatic.  

Any tricks you know for training a dog the lazy way?

Tiamat's Wrath by James S.A. Corey

Tiamat's Wrath is the eighth book in The Expanse series. I love this series and am sad that this is the last one I can read. Apparently there's one more book in the works (Leviathan Falls!), but its expected publication date is next year. This book was so good, such a page turner. 

Shouldn't you be writing your own book, GRRM, and not reading 500 page tomes and writing blurbs for them?

This book is a definite war book.  Holden is imprisoned on Laconia. Amos is missing. Naomi is hiding out in shipping containers.  Bobbie and Alex are on a ship that isn't the Roci.  It has been a bit of a fallback for The Expanse series that the authors separate our crew and we spend the whole book on pins and needles waiting for them to get together again.  I digress.  Meanwhile, the Laconian government has taken over all the inhabitable worlds, there's a resistance that is organizing a revolt, and there's that pesky alien life that is unpredictable and unknowable.  This book is told from many points of view,  as all the books are, from the dictator's teenage daughter to members of our crew to scientists studying the alien.  It's brilliantly done.

I wrote about it before in my review of the seventh book, Persepolis Rising, but reading this in 2020 is one of the craziest things. Sure, there's a rogue *thing* that is slowly killing all of humanity?  People are divided about how to deal with it? People are acting unethically about it?  Huh.  Maybe a bit too on the nose.  Or just plain prescient and wonderful.

Notable lines (so many!):

1) Chrisjen Avasarala was dead. (page 1, line 1)

A helluva way to start a book. I was super nervous in the previous book about this happening and I almost cried when I read this sentence. Avasarala was my favorite character in this series, hands down.

2) Even when the confirmation came to Laconia that the reports were true, Holden still believed deep in his bones that she was out there somewhere, irritated and profane and pushing herself past all human limits to bend history just another fraction of a degree away from atrocity.  (page 1)

The first chapter of this book may be the best first chapter ever written.

3) Her sari was a vibrant blue that was just close enough to the Laconian color scheme to be polite and just far enough to make it perfectly clear that the politeness was insincere. Even if she hadn't looked like her grandmother, the subtle-not-subtle fuck you would have identified her. (page 3)

I love the idea that fictional Avasarala lives on in her fictional grandchild. I also love that I have to remind myself that this old lady named Avasarala is fictional because I kept tearing up thinking that she was no longer with us.  You know, she never was because she was/is a fictional character. 

4) "You could power a planet by hooking a turbine to her right now. That's how much she's spinning in this grave." (page 4)

You guys. We're still talking about Avasarala. We're still on page 4.

5) "Just part of the donkey show."
"Dog and pony," Holden said. Then, seeing her reaction. "The phrase is dog and pony show."
"Sure it is," she said. (page 8)

There's an ongoing theme in JD Robb's In Death books in which the main character, Eve Dallas, always messes up common phrases and idioms. It amuses me when people try to make sense of the senselessness of the English langauge.

6) (describing two characters hugging) It was like watching a polar bear grapple a coatrack. (page 34)

Not exactly a favorable description of either character, but I like animal analogies.

7) It was like a Chihuahua threating an office building. (page 41)

Again with the animal analogies.

8) The universe she died in might still be better than the one she lived in now, but she had a hard time believing it would be better than the one she'd been born into. (page 245-246)

I mean, this is it, right?  I grew up in a time of peace with the biggest issue in the landscape of presidential politics was whether or not Clinton had extramarital sex.  I grew up in a time when I could ride my bike four miles into town without any concerns about my personal safety.  I grew up in a world in which I was certain I could get a bed in a hospital if I was sick.  The world will undoubtedly get better than it is today (Trump is only president for two more months), but it will never be as good as it was when I was young.  

9) "I'm not sure dying free is as attractive when it stops being rhetorical." (page 264) 

People refuse to wear masks and when they get covid they take to the media to tell us it's not worth it to "be free" if you're going to get this sick. Well, sometimes it's worth a small amount of personal sacrifice.

10) She noticed the tension that crept back into her shoulders and made herself release it for the fourth or fifth or twenty-fifth time. (page 311)

I absolutely hold all my stress in my shoulders and I must force myself to move them away from my ears two dozen times a day.

11) "Governments exist on confidence. Not on liberty. Not on righteousness. Not on force. They exist because people believe that they do. Because they don't ask questions." (page 357)

Governments are social constructs. What happens if we stop believing American dollars mean anything? If we stop thinking passports can actually stop us from crossing borders? If we stop thinking that election ballots are more than paper stones?

12) "If I can try and put this all in a wider context?
"Please do," Trejo said.
"It's about the nature of consciousness."
"That may be a wider context than I was looking for, Major." (page 405)

Scientists talking to military types always amuse me.

13) It was like hugging a metal strut. (page 508)

I like this image, especially in contrast with the hug in notable line #6.

Catalogpalooza 2020!

Since the beginning of the month, I've been collecting all the catalogs and stacking them on our dining room table. Dr. BB finally noticed this yesterday and asked if I was ever going to throw them away. I'm taking that as a hint that I better write this post.  I've got around twenty and here are the highlights.

1) Garrett Wade (Where Good Tools Come First): I've never gotten this catalog before and I'm crazy for it.  From sewing supplies to woodshop instruments to toys, this catalog has it all.  

Wind-up toys ($18.80 - 19.25), woodworking chisels ($87.50), and beechwood sewing kit ($92.50)

2) Garnet Hill (Beautiful, Naturally): I don't know exactly who the target audience is for this catalog, but there are a handful of items that drew my eye. It's got a lot of linens, housewares, and cozy clothes. The biggest thing this catalog has going for it, in my eyes, is that the pajama sets don't have buttons on them.  I hate buttons on my pjs.

Personalized hooked wool throw pillow ($129), Asian wrap organic pajamas ($79), and kids boiled wool slipper boots ($48)

3) The Grommet (Don't Gift Boring): What a strange catalog. I guess its theme is gifts and gadgets, but I mostly appreciate that it very clearly labels everything that's made in the United States.

Plate spinning toy ($19.95), custom nautical pillow (starting at $85), books as art ($24)

4) The Vermont Country Store (Purveyors of the Practical and Hard-To-Find): Now, I know that the target audience for this catalog is little old ladies who live in New England, but I'm so happy that it arrives in my mailbox every year. I think it's just predicting who I will soon become.  Lots of cozy loungewear, 1980s make-up and food your grandmother serves at holidays.

I have been stalking the cookie aisle of my grocery store looking for these windmill cookies for months, but I open the VCS catalog and there they were and I knew that I had fallen into the trap of being an old lady before my time. Or is early 40s old now?  Who knows?

Spiced windmill cookies ($19.95 for 14 ounces, which is INSANE), one-button Irish wool asymmetrical wool cardigan ($139.95 - $149.95), 10 clip-on LED candles ($39.95 for a set of 10, which seems reasonable to me), cardinal flannel sheet set ($129.95 for a queen set)

5) Hammacher Schlemmer (America's Longest Running Catalog): This reminds me a lot of the Brookstone catalog. It's just a bunch of stuff that solves problems you didn't even realize that you had. This year I was fascinated by all the stuff that they had on order as a response to the pandemic. Most catalogs seem to be going on as if business is 100% normal, we are not in a global pandemic, but HS leaned in.  

Weather station ($179.95), no contact thermometer ($149.95), air purifier ($239.95-$299.95), foldaway sit stand desk ($199.9 - seriously I think this is such a smart idea for all the people now working from home; I'm seriously considering adding something like it to my wish list)

6) Caswell-Massey (America's Original): Soaps and fragrances galore in this catalog. You can almost smell the aroma of the old school scents through the pages. I really think that anything in this catalog would be a great gift, as long as the person doesn't have any sensory issues with smells.

Centuries year of soap ($98 for twelve  5.8 ounce soap bars with almond, lavender, verbena, sandalwood, oatmeal & honey, and cucumber scents), Centuries eau de toilette gift set ($60 for four 15mL bottles of sandalwood, verbena, lavender, and almond), Dr. Hunter's original remedies gift set ($49.95 for hand cream, foot cream, body cleanser, castile soap bar, cuticle cream, lip salve)

7) Grandin Road: This is the first time I've ever gotten this home decor catalog. It's like someone threw up Christmas. Towards the end, there's non-holiday stuff, but I have to admit that it was like looking at an extremely tacky Renovation Hardware catalog. It super expensive and not really my style, but I tried to find some gems in there.

Amelia cabinet (on sale now for $399.20, which is stupid expensive considering I'd have to remove the ugly leaf door pulls), tiered Christmas tree server (on sale now for $159.20, which is crazy expensive, too!)

8) Uncommon Goods (We're All Out of the Ordinary): I've been getting this catalog for years now and it's a bit disappointing that they don't refresh their stock much.  I've definitely written about some of my favorite items before, but it's becoming harder and harder to find new discoveries in this one.

Vote necklace (available in silver or brass, $50 including a $5 donation to the League of Women Voters), MLB game ball friendship bracelet ($64), 1000-piece vintage national parks puzzle ($20)

9) MindWare (Brainy Toys for Kids of All Ages): I just learned that this is actually an Oriental Trading catalog and it makes me wonder why I don't get the OT catalog. Now I'm sad.  I think it's challenging to find toys now that all the toy stores have closed, so this is as close to wandering around a Toys R Us as it gets for me these days. I'm not shopping for a particular kid right now, so I don't have anything in mind just yet, but here are some vague contenders.

Complete baking and cooking cookbooks for young chefs ($29.95 for a set of 2), magic penny magnet kit ($25.95), Keva plank set ($99.95 for 200 pieces, but there are smaller sets available)

10) Bronner's (America's Largest Christmas Store): Bronner's is located in Frankenmuth, Michigan and I used to regularly go there when I was growing up in Michigan. Last year when Dr. BB and I were visiting my mom and sister, we went and purchased an artificial Christmas tree there and we've been on the mailing list every since. If you've never been to this store, imagine a warehouse store filled with Christmas tchotchkes, decorations, and ornaments in every crevice.  It's overwhelming and one of my favorite places to browse and purchase exactly two things.  If you're ever in the area, it's definitely worth a visit. If you're not in the area, maybe consider getting on their catalog list.

14.5 inch ceramic Christmas tree (my mother-in-law had one of these and it makes me nostalgic, $39.99), 3 inch tall metal peacock ornament ($29.99), personalized paw stocking ($17.99), personalized heart tree (up to ten names, $17.99), set of four winter cardinal ornaments ($11.99)

And that is that. I also have about a million catalogs with clothes (Stio, Carve Designs, Boden, Orvis, and the like), but that is not what the great Catalogpalooza is about.  Do you have a favorite holiday catalog?  

As always, no one pays me to write any of this. There are no kickbacks coming to me. Click on links with abandon.

Living Room, Saturday Morning

AppleTV remote sitting on the coffee table. It's a new remote and I can't quite figure out how to use it. This frustrates me and I watch even less television than is normal for me.

Books on the coffee table. A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux.  I used to read Deveraux a lot when I was a teenager, but I've recently tried to read a couple of the early books in the Montgomery-Taggert series and there's so much rape. I skipped ahead to this book (#15 in the extended series, but they are all standalone novels) since it's beloved. So far, it's fine, but I'm only on page 12. Dr. BB has Achieving Our Country by Richard Rorty on the coffee table, as well. I think he's considering using it in a class he's teaching next semester.

Cat scratching post by the window.  Zelda rarely uses it, but occasionally sits on it to watch the birds outside the window. 

DVDs in the entertainment center. We have whittled and whittled our collection down, but we still have most of the Joss Whedon oeuvre.

Entertainment center. We bought this shortly after we got Zelda so we could hide all the cords she was prone to chewing on.  She doesn't chew cords as much now that she's an old lady, but the dusty entertainment center remains.

Family photos on the wall. We need to update these, I guess. We probably should have one up there with my sister's husband, although it's hard to think of a family photo without my father. We probably should have one up there with all our nieces and nephews, but it will be super hard to have one without my mother-in-law and with my father-in-law's new wife.  I don't know. Maybe if we ever see our families again.

Games in the entertainment center. We have an old skool Wii and Wii balance board.

Hot tea. There's always hot tea in the morning. I'm currently drinking Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple Spice Herbal Tea that Dr. BB doctors up with lots of honey that we buy from our local farmers.

It's Leviosa Not Leviosa mug on the coffee table. It was a Christmas present from my mom last year and I'm sort of obsessed with it. It's huge and I drink tea out of in the morning and then water for the rest of the day.

Jingling cat toy. Somewhere in this room is a cat toy that makes a jingling sound. Zelda hides it really well so the dog can't get it, but neither can the humans. Every once in a while, you'll hear that sound and know that the cat wants to play.

Kitty tunnel. Behind our couch we have a tunnel for the cat and she regularly sleeps in there. She likes it because Hannah the Dog can't fit behind the couch (or rather, she could fit behind the couch, but she's too timid to try).  

Loveseat. It was the first major piece of furniture that we purchased together as a married couple. The first to sit on it? Zelda the itty bitty kitty.

This photo was taken nine years ago. My baby kitty! We were still paying the movers when she hopped up there on that loveseat.  

Musical stand. Dr. BB had been keeping a guitar there, but Hannah the Dog started showing some interest in the guitar and no fear of touching it, so it was removed during a particularly rowdy play session with her tennis ball.  I keep meaning to ask him if he wants it taken upstairs, but it hasn't become a priority.

Notebook on the entertainment center. I actually don't know why it's there and it should probably be put away, but that would mean I would have to get up off the loveseat.

Outlet that has my computer's power cord and a power strip that runs our entire TV/router/entertainment system plugged into it.

Pillows on the couch and loveseat. Each piece of furniture came with two pillows and I'm surprised at how reliant I am on them, particularly for putting my feet up.  

Quilt over the back of the couch.  I made that quilt way back in 2016. It's not holding up great, but the whole process of starting a new quilt sounds exhausting.

Rug. I still love this rug despite the fact that I should vacuum it every day because there's Hannah the Dog fur everywhere. I don't actually vacuum it every day, more like every three days.  But this rug is great and it wasn't too expensive so I don't worry about the dog fur, cat puke, and tea spills that regularly happen to it.

Slippers next to the coffee table.  I have taken them off so I can put my feet up on the furniture.

Television. We contemplated replacing our television for a hot second, but all the tvs available at our local Best Buy are significantly larger than our current one and I don't want the entire room dominated by a screen, so we just continue on with what we have.

Unclean dog bed. You guys, this things smells disgusting. It's a whole process to clean it, though.  It's probably making our whole house stink, though.  Hm. Hannah loves it.

Vent.  There are so many strangely placed vents and ducts in our house. There's one right next to the entertainment center and it basically means we can't use that whole wall because we don't want anything to block it.  Don't get me started on the vents in our office upstairs.

Writing utensils on the coffee table and entertainment center. There's a pen on the coffee table so I can take notes as I'm reading my book.  There is a Ticonderoga pencil, a pink pen, and a mechanical pencil that has an eraser that won't stay on it on the entertainment center that all need to be put away, like the notebook.  

eXtremely warm fleece blanket. That big black fleece blanket on the loveseat was a present from Dr. BB's sister to him before he ever met me. I've basically claimed it as mine and almost always have it on or near my person when I'm in the living room. The cat will only cuddle with the person with the blanket, so I need to make sure I get my kitty cuddles.

Yellow goldfinches at the nyger seed feeder outside the window. We get goldfinches year round and they're yellow and glorious in the summer, but now they're really just LBBs (little brown birds).

Zero pets. Hannah and Zelda prefer to spend their mornings in the mudroom, where it is sunny and warm.  I always feel slightly sad when I'm all alone in the living room.

The Rest of the Story by Sarah Dessen

 

After I finished Once and For All last month, I immediately placed The Rest of the Story on hold. I'm still riding high on the idea that Sarah Dessen is the queen of teen and that her books are wonderful gems in a sea of limestone.  Am I right? Stay tuned!

Emma Saylor's dad has remarried and she needs someplace to stay while he's on his honeymoon. She ends up staying with her maternal grandmother at North Lake despite having no relationship to this woman, the mother of her own dead mother.  While at North Lake, Emma feels split in two in a variety of ways, but the center of it is that Emma hasn't dealt with the death of her mother and here, in the arms of her mother's family, she feels uncertain of who and what she is.  Oh, and there's a romance.

Here's what I think. I'm no longer Dessen's target audience. Why would I be? I'm more than forty years old and these teenage dramas are ridiculous to me. I want to actually know more about the story from the perspective of the adults.  I mean, how does Emma's grandmother feel about Emma just coming in and crashing? How does she feel about all these teenage kids running around, drinking and partying all the time?  

I would LOVE if this was the prequel to Dessen writing a love story about Emma and Roo, her crush, but like twenty years from the ending. Let's say Emma's been to college, gotten married and divorced, and is now a successful writer. She goes back to North Lake to stay for a writing retreat and discovers that Roo is a recovering drug addict who has custody of some obscure relative's young child.  Now that is a book I'd like to read.  

What I don't want to read is Dessen's take on a lot of hard issues, but not doing any of them any justice. The brilliance of Just Listen is that Annabelle's issues are all because of a rape.  The brilliance of Dreamland is that Caitlin's issues all stem from domestic violence.  Dessen gives each of these incredibly complex topics time to develop and the deep dive into the consequences of each character's own trauma is exploratory and nuanced. In The Rest of the Story, Dessen tries to grapple with the death of a parent (with multiple characters!), addiction, class issues, and anxiety. I agree that someone's summer vacation might actually bring up all these issues, but that would make for a much longer, much more depressing read. I thought that the ending actually did each issue a disservice and made me wade into despair, rather than making you think that there's hope for rebounding from trauma.  

So, no.  I don't need to read any more Dessen. I love some of her books and I know she can write characters who stick with you, but I'm not going to hold my breath that she'll be doing it again any time soon.

The Great Christmas Ornament Search of 2020

Every year I pick out one personalized Christmas ornament for us. It used to be ONE ornament because we had a tiny tree.  We've now upgraded to a full-sized tree, but the tradition lives on. Here are suggestions from 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019.  More importantly, here are my top contenders for the year.  I'm getting on this early this year because of delays in shipping and obtaining materials for many small businesses.

1. Dumpster Fire 2020 from InsertBrandHere ($18.89 as is, $23.39 for personalization, free shipping) - I mean, it is symbolic of the shambles that is 2020. I'm not sure it's something I'll want to look back fondly on in years to come, though.  I mean, maybe it's too on the nose.

2. Toilet Paper Shortage Ornament from FountainOfWishes ($12.99/ornament): Or maybe just lean into it and go all the way on the nose?

3. There's also just a straight Fuck 2020 ornament. I could get behind how it looks sort of pretty and classy at first glance. $12 from FrankNBeams.

4. Maybe just one that says Our First Pandemic from 3CEtching ($11.20)?  I'm tempted to order these in bulk and give them away to all my friends as presents. I wish you could personalize it with some text on the back. I bet that would be possible with a convo with the seller.

5. The Good Place Jeremy Bearimy ornament from LeahHallIllustration ($30) - As somebody who has an ornament commemorating the year we were obsessed with The Walking Dead (2014), I can totally get on board with a pop culture reference in my ornament.

6. In keeping with the theme of popular culture I enjoyed this year, maybe a Great British Bake-Off themed ornament?  I love this Have a Mary Berry Christmas ornament ($8.28, but shipping from the UK, so factor in time and shipping expense). 

7. The Year We Stayed Home from OrindasOrnaments ($16.95 plus $5.95 shipping. although shipping is free if you spend over $35) - I love that this is a more positive approach to 2020 and that you can put a dog and a cat on it!  I always love when Zelda and Hannah get to be a part of the holiday traditions.

8. Build Your Own Stick Figure Ornament from MintPrintStudio ($19.95) - Another one that allows you to add your pets!  I think that is adorable. Unfortunately, there aren't other options for the man and woman stick figure, so that dude has way too much hair to be appropriate in our house!

9. 2020 Event ornament ($12.59) - These have been all over my social media account this year.  Maybe I should just accept that the 2020 ornament will not be as sweet and wonderful as ornaments past? It's like a distilled version of hell on a celebratory item.

10. Lovebirds ($19) - I've had lovebirds on my list a few times before and it's been kind of hard to find an ornament that has lovebirds, but doesn't have hearts all over it.  This one might work.  

So what should it be, my friends? What ornament will represent the year that will go down in infamy?