That's it, friends. On Tuesday night I had my last board meeting at the community center. I started at five on the nose and finished at 6 on the nose. I started the annual meeting right afterwards and we were done by 6:05. And that was the last time my name will be in the meeting minutes!
We had a potluck dinner afterwards (I brought a charcuterie board from Costco and some stuffed mini peppers as appetizers and some desserts from Costco) and one of the other lovely board members gave me a present that was so lovely and perfect. It turns out that she has been reading my blog and it made me feel like all my work there was valued, if only by one person.
That scarf is so soft and I think it might become my regular winter scarf!
Meanwhile, even though Wednesday I still sent seven emails and made a phone call re: community center business and I went to the community center for a fitness class after work, I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more stressing out over board meetings, staffing, and squabbles among board members. No more phone calls taking up hours of my evening while I soothe hurt feelings. None of it! I can just go enjoy events at the community center.
See that little tree? It's our tree! When we were first married, this was our tree. I mean, it was our tree until we moved into our house in 2017. They asked if anyone had a small tree for an event at the community center and I said we had one in the basement that hadn't been used in years. Yay for it getting used! (I did not provide the colored lights. White lights 4LYFE.)
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The tale of my volunteering position is sort of boring, but I joined the board because I love the mission of the community center and I was (sort of) coerced into a leadership role I was unqualified for, but no one else would do. Then things started to go wrong, some of which was out of my control, some of which was. In July of this year, I posted about how stressed the whole volunteer role was making me and all you dear readers suggested that I stop doing the role. I mulled over your advice and the next month I told everyone I was going to step down at the end of the year. I immediately felt good about that decision, but then everything fell apart again.
Both staff members quit almost immediately after I posted in August. And I was still technically in charge until the end of the year. I had the support of the board, but I really felt like it was a problem and situation of my own making. I was trying to run office hours, staff events, interview people for the positions, and I just felt like I was actually making things WORSE rather than better. Eventually we did hire someone for both staff positions, but then one of them quit after only three weeks. So, yeah. There was a lot going on. (Anyone in Wisconsin want a part-time job during school hours? *sigh*)
Three months ago, I wrote a post in which I listed all of the things that were stressing me, including the volunteer situation and my long-term unemployment. And now both of those things are fixed! The volunteer gig is no more. I have a job! I wake up in the morning, excited to do the things and live the life.
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But, hey, think of all the skills I learned while I was at that volunteer gig. Running a meeting. Hosting events. Sending awkward emails. Soothing hurt feelings. Supervising professionals. Organizing events. Strategic planning. Hiring.
And I didn't burn any bridges. I left on good terms and everyone knows they can still reach out to me with questions. I will be attending as many events as I can over there and am hoping that there will still be occasional opportunities for me to volunteer. But isn't it a relief that none of the staffing issues are my problem anymore?!
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Have you had anything stressful taken off your plate recently? Tell me all about it!
That must be such a relief to be done! Sometimes these kinds of things are good for finding out what you don't like just as much as finding out what you are good at. When else would you have been able to do hiring? And now if your current or a future job wants you to step into a management/hiring roll you can either do it with confidence or tell them no thanks! I was put into a management roll and thrown into doing interviews about 8 years ago and if I would have known what I was getting into, I may have thought twice. But luckily I didn't, as I was forced to learn and now feel 100% more confident about hiring/interviews/training etc.
ReplyDeleteI have not had anything stressful taken off my plate recently, but due to my direct boss leaving, the role I spoke of above was changed drastically about two years ago. I did not get demoted, but I did have less leadership duties and to be honest, it was both good and bad. I was happy not to have to be in charge of everything, but I do feel less useful and more adrift at times. The leadership roles are now very muddy and I do not do well with the lack of rules or direction. So there are goods and bads to everything!
The truth is that I'm super relieved not to have to be part of the hiring process AGAIN. It was a good experience and I learned some valuable things, but I hope to never be part of leadership like that ever again. It's just not in my skill set!
DeleteI'm so happy to read this! Although it was stressful, you sure came away with a lot of skills from it. And also that lovely gift, how nice! It's great to step away and still be on good terms with everyone. Happy holidays to you!
ReplyDeleteI was so happy to be writing it. I do hope for success for the community center and I will be its biggest fan! Happy holidays to you, as well, Nicole! May someone create a little magic for you!
DeleteWe have a small tree but not quite that small.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy having that one responsibility removed.
We only had that small tree for about a decade. I love seeing it have a new life.
DeleteIt's truly a feat to leave without burning bridges, Engie; well done! And what a great job learning on the go and arranging so many events of cultural value at the Community Center!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Maya. I hope the center succeeds and thrives under new leadership.
DeleteYay! The community center is something that is important to you, so you gave it the gift of your time and effort. Now that you've given back, you get to return to civilian life and just enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI hate being in a leadership role with a passion. I had someone working for me while my boss was on maternity leave and I really hated it. And this person was a good person that I'd worked with before - it was truly me and not them. I was really shocked at how much my work experience improved once my boss came back and that position was eliminated.
Preach it, Birchie. I hated being in a leadership role. I was fine as a regular board member, but once I had to be the one to make decisions and attempt to lead a direction, I was definitely in over my head. Never again!
DeleteYay! The best possible outcome :)
ReplyDeleteA true Christmas miracle!
DeleteThe relief in this post is evident--you made a good move! And what a kind gesture the parting gift was, and how perfect the items are for you.
ReplyDeleteLeaving a job The Right Way is always the best thing to do. It's like Taking The High Road: it speaks well of your character and shows what kind of person you are under less than ideal circumstances. Now you can truly enjoy your time at the C Center and not feel awkward about going there or seeing people that you used to work with.
Yes! I can enjoy my time at the community center! I can hardly wait for the event where I'm simply a civilian.
DeleteI am so happy for you! Congratulations on navigating such a stressful situation AND for doing so without burning bridges (even when things continued to be messy). I have learned such critical lessons in roles that were not for me and consider those lessons/skills gifts for whatever next steps I take (or choose NOT to take, haha)!
ReplyDeleteYes! Sometimes learning what your weaknesses are is just as useful as learning about your strengths.
DeleteHa ha, I'm reading your reply to Sarah- it is a Christmas miracle, but you really made it happen. It sounds like you did everything the right way, and left on good terms. And what a nice present- a scarf! She definitely knows you!
ReplyDeleteYes, apparently she sometimes reads my blog, or at least she read enough of it to get some clues! And then someone texted my husband, too, so it was a very well thought out gift! I really appreciated it and now I have a new book to read! It's my own mini flood of books.
DeleteI am just elated for you. I've gone through something similar - stepping down from a job I didn't even officially apply for that ran for an entire year longer than expected. I have a few mixed emotions about it, but mostly just SO MUCH RELIEF.
ReplyDeleteLove the tree. So cute and I love the tie to your early married life <3
Yes, Elisabeth, I knew you would understand. It was fine that I had the position, but even finer that now it's someone else's problem!
DeleteI feel like sometimes it's good to have done something and know that you don't want to do it after all than to wonder if you should have done it. So yay you for doing it and then stepping away graciously. It seems like you were well loved!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I've taken Christmas off my own plate because of being tired and overwhelmed. But I still feel stressed about it so maybe I should put it back on my plate and just deal with it.
And every night that the Husband does bedtime with the kids is something stressful taken off my plate.
I feel so terrible for all the people (mostly women) for whom Christmas is just work and not really fun or magical at all. I like sending cards, baking, and buying presents, so it's mostly a joy for me, but I could see really resenting my role as Magic Maker if I didn't enjoy doing those things. I hope you figure out a happy medium.
DeleteI'm so pleased for you! How nice that you'll be able to go back to enjoying things at the CC, instead of them causing you so many problems. What a Christmas present this is for you this year.
ReplyDeleteIt really does feel like I can sink into the joy of the season without this constant source of stress niggling at the back of my mind. Yay!
DeleteOh the relief to have something taken OFF your plate!
ReplyDeleteRight? I can't wait to see what gets added now that I've taken that away. LOL.
DeleteOh my gosh, I cannot express how happy it makes me to read this and know that you feel so much better to be done (and to have a job, too)! What a great feeling! I have that mini feeling every other Thursday after I get off a really difficult client call. But the lead up to it, ugh.
ReplyDeleteUgh! Yes! At my previous job, we had this big quarterly reports and they stressed me out so much and then they'd be done and I'd pretend that I didn't have to do it all over again in three months. LOL.
DeleteEngie!!!! You made it! You are done! It sounds like a really useful experience in so many ways and I am very pleased that you are on the other side of it. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm so thrilled to move on to another chapter!
DeleteI'm so happy for you. I know this was weighing on you tremendously; now you can go into the new year with one less stressor!
ReplyDeleteI love all your ' purple' gifts!
I can't believe how much my mind has eased without this stress. It's great!
DeleteI love the idea of not burning bridges, but it can be hard when someone is throwing flames after you and you have no control over the situation. (Ask me how I know...sigh...) That said, I am so glad you divested yourself of this enormous burden this year. I'm sorry that the staffers quit right after you shared you were stepping down. Do you think they were worried about upheaval/change? Or something else? Regardless, it's DONE DONE DONE! Here's to hours of your life back (perfect for wintertime Zelda-petting...)
ReplyDeleteSo, I do think both of the staff members were nearing the end of their time there, but the ED quit as soon as I resigned because she didn't want to work with some of the other board members more closely, which she most definitely would have had to once I left. The other staff member was either going to resign or get fired, so I was actually happy she resigned (because it meant I didn't have to fire her), but it did leave us in a really tight spot. And, yes, I left under good terms, but it could easily have gone in another direction with different reactions from other people. There's only so much you can control!
DeleteI am so glad you made this decision for yourseld and stuck to your guns. I'd probably felt compelled to stay on with things falling apart left and right. But sometimes it's not your responsibility to fix things and you clearly needed to move on (you've done enough).
ReplyDeleteI am SO RELIEVED. I actually had a phone call with the new president last week and things are still pretty chaotic over there, so I feel even better about my decision. Onward to new endeavors!
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