Today is the shortest day of the year, which is to say the day with the least amount of sunlight. I am planning on celebrating by switching to flannel sheets. The days will slowly get longer again and I am here for it. Bring me more sun.
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I recently read a blog post in which the author was ruminating about the concept of Third Place - a place outside of your home or workplace in which you spend a lot of time, have fun, and create relationships.
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| First place! First dog! I enjoy that this photo makes it seem like we live in a grown up kind of place. |
Example of third place might be a church, bar, bowling alley, senior center, a friend's home, or some other space.
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| Second place! Question: My husband has suggested my flying pig blanket is "unprofessional." What say you? |
The comments in the above blog post suggested that for many of them, the internet was their third place. It's where they spend time, they meet people, and they find enjoyment in it.
I am torn about this. On one hand, I love my internet community. My holiday card display showcases my bloggy friends front and center, I rely on all of you so much for advice, and almost all of my discretionary non-reading time goes to writing and commenting on blogs. I do find that my online life is robust, helpful, and important.
But is online a place? Do we need a third place? Do you have a third place?
I think my third place is the community center. I'm there at least a couple of times a week, although maybe that will change now (just wait until tomorrow's post!). But I keep ruminating on this idea and it won't let my brain rest, so I have now dumped it all out for you.
1) Do you think online counts as a third place?
2) Do you have a third place? If so, where is it?
3) Do you think it's necessary to have a third place? What benefits does it bring?
4) Do you think my pig blanket should be replaced with a different, more boring blanket?
Discuss at your will.
Interesting subject! I think that online can be a third place, as it checks the boxes: spent time, enjoy, make friends, create relationships. I would probably say that my third place is the running community, aka the trails mostly. We have a regular group who meets up and this is where we air our grievances, catch up on each other's lives, have fun, get fresh air etc. I think it is necessary to have a third place for most people, as you need to have a place to vent outside of you significant other or workmates. I think your pig blanket is fun but it does not match the rest of the room, as it is quite vibrant. I think it shows people that underneath your smooth exterior you are quirky, and I say keep it.
ReplyDeleteOh, I think having a third place that is outdoors is amazing. Hanging out with people in the fresh air is the best!
DeleteGorgeous Hannah! Gorgeous tree!!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely see the Comm. Center being your third place. I think the river trail might be my third place. It's where I feel really calm and happy (walking! the outdoors!) even if I end up taking pictures that look like 50 other pictures I've already taken.
I don't think your flying pigs blanket is unprofessional, BTW. I think it warms up the place and symbolically suggests that you can make the impossible possible! (I do think it would look nicer draped over the arm or folded over the back.)
I fold the blanket and drape it over my chair when I leave at night, but otherwise it's always on my chair because I USE it. LOL.
DeleteI also think that my dog walking paths could be my third place except that I don't do very much making of friends there, unless you count my ever-deepening love affair with Hannah the Dog.
Oh, not with that exact label, but this has been on my mind so much lately. Home is home and work is work, but where/who am I outside of those? Yikes. PS: I am all for the pig blanket. It gives people a conversational "in" and it probably makes you smile! PS: what a tease about tomorrow's post!!
ReplyDeleteOh, man, don't even get me started on how much work is tied to identity. Who am I outside of work should never be a question people ask, but yet it's so common!
DeleteKeep the blanket!
ReplyDeleteI guess... if I had a third place it would be the internet? It didn't immediately occur to me that the internet would count as a third place until you mentioned it. On the other hand, if it's not my third place then I don't think I have one.
I have really struggled with the idea of third place myself. I don't know if it's absolutely necessary for happiness, but I wonder if people who have a third place are happier?
DeleteOh I love the idea of the internet as a Third Place! (Which is a new-to-me-concept -- thank you for introducing it to me.) Yes! That feels very apt for me. I think the outdoors is also a Third Place for me because I spend so much time walking, alone and with friends.
ReplyDeleteLOVE that photo of Hannah. She is a supermodel for sure.
Hannah's EARS! I love how they are never the same in any two photos. Straight up? Sure. Flat down? Sure. Half and half? WHY NOT? I don't know how people with dogs with little ears do it. Her ears tell me everything!
DeleteThe only thing that I know for sure is that the flying pig blanket is fabulous. I think that Dr. BB is jealous because he doesn't have one in his office.
ReplyDeleteI do think there is value in a third space and at this moment in time I don't have one. A lot of it is finding the "right" third space. At this point I don't consider the internets to be a third space because it's an entirely virtual world for me. In your case where you've met folks IRL, I think it might be different. AND ONCE I START MEETING THE COOL BLOGGERS IRL (a goal for 2024) then my answer might change.
Yay for winter solstice! Tomorrow we get an extra minute of daylight!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!
You know that when you come to WI for a Spring Green trip, I had better be in on this, right?! I swear am I real person!
DeleteI cannot tell you how excited I am about the daylight getting longer. Woot woot!
Interesting concept about the internet + third space. I guess I've sort of thought of this before, though indirectly. I definitely currently spend more time/energy interacting with my "online friends" than I do with any in person friends right now. Not sure if that's good or bad or neutral.
ReplyDeleteI guess my in person, non-internet Third Space would maybe be the gym? I don't really "meet people" there, but I do see people I know there a lot and chit chat with people, etc. So there is a sort of social aspect, sometimes.
Is the flying pig blanket "professional"? No, I don't think so. Does that matter? Probably not! (It would be fine in my job, also, but I am not the "flying pig blanket" type. My little office blanket is black and white plaid and it was $4.99 at Woodman's one day. And by office, I mean my basement laundry room. LOL)
Yes, the third space question is interesting. Is it necessary? Maybe not? Is helpful? Probably. Does the internet count as a space?
DeleteI have a black throw blanket that I could bring to work. It's just...boring. Ha! No one in my office has said anything about it, so I think it's probably fine.
So interesting! Love this post and lots to discuss.
ReplyDeleteOf course all your blog readers are going to be pro blanket because it is awesome and we all have great taste. KEEP THE BLANKET.
1) Do you think online counts as a third place?
Yes. Definitely!
2) Do you have a third place? If so, where is it?
Hmmm. That's tough. I think small group at our church would be my third place, though the blog world would be a close 4th!
3) Do you think it's necessary to have a third place? What benefits does it bring?
I don't think it's necessary. I think that we all have many places that can bring joy and we feel at home - even spots we don't visit a lot. Like I feel very at home at a particular friend's house, but we rarely get together inside. I'd never call it a third space, but I know it's there if I need it?
4) Do you think my pig blanket should be replaced with a different, more boring blanket?
NO. Why would you deprive the world - and yourself - of such a fun accessory that does double duty and KEEPS YOU WARM.
Your pro-pig blanket stance is very persuasive. I'm keeping it!
DeleteInteresting thoughts about how there are places where you may not spend a lot of time, but have that home-y quality. It's nice to know we always have a safe place to go.
Speaking of flannel sheets, it has hardly gotten below freezing here and it's actually raining today. So strange not to have snow on the ground! So no flannel sheets for me yet. In terms of third place, I don't think I even have a second place. Does my walking path count? Pre-pandemic in Calgary I would have said the yoga studio, then after that the community centre I taught at. Oh god, is SUPERSTORE my second place? I guess I don't have a third or second place anymore, or at least not one I can go to frequently.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think we're having similar weather! It's been above freezing the last few days and there's no snow. RAIN is forecast for Christmas. RAIN! But I want the flannel sheets anyway because it's tradition.
DeleteI do wonder about second place for people who don't have jobs or don't have jobs outside of the home. With the rise in remote jobs, I bet there are a lot of people who are like you and don't have second places, let alone third!
Happy Solstice!
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting concept. I think the internet does count. I would say my third place is the trails, if I can get away with that answer since it's so broad? I need it because I need a place outside the home to recenter myself.
I think you should get a blanket that's even wilder!!! Or one with your pets on it!
Ha! There are photos of my pets all over the office. Maybe I should just continue that trend with all office accessories.
DeleteKeep the blanket! It has character and could be a conversation starter if people come into your office.
ReplyDeleteI think online is my 3rd place right now. I don't really have a 3rd place currently... I'm either at home, work, and doing stuff with my kids. I guess the library could be my 3rd place but the time there is not at all about me - it's about the boys picking out books and playing with the library toys (and probably picking up a gazillion viruses).
Yeah, I contemplated the library as my third place, but I don't actually socialize/meet people there. I just get books and hang out doing the jigsaw puzzle. But the library is CRUCIAL to my enjoyment of life, that's for sure.
DeleteSince I work from home, it's hard to say that work is my second place--it's not an office, a physical place I go to. But I think my third place has to be where my knitting friends are. Which is in person with some of them here during season, and on Zoom offseason, and then on Zoom with my New England group, except when I get up there to visit them. But even being with them online is a comfortable place for me.
ReplyDeleteOh, interesting to think of PEOPLE as the third place, rather than a LOCATION. That's some food for thought.
Delete1) Do you think online counts as a third place?
ReplyDeleteOh, I absolutely do. We engage in comments, we know each other's lives, and we share information. I think it counts.
2) Do you have a third place? If so, where is it?
I think online *is* my third place at present. I'm retired. My second place is my lake home/community.
3) Do you think it's necessary to have a third place? What benefits does it bring?
I don't think it's necessary. Some people are less social and less share-y. They are loathe to be part of too many relationships and groups.
4) Do you think my pig blanket should be replaced with a different, more boring blanket?
Absolutely not. I had a black and white cow print blanket on my chair in my classroom when I was working. A student made it for me. Everyone knew/knows of my love for cows. The same goes for your pig blanket. It speaks to a part of your personality. What's wrong with that? (It's not like you're wearing pig jammies or little furry pig ears at work!)
Hmmm...now I'm contemplating some little furry pig ears. What a statement I would make when students came to meet with me!
DeleteAbsolutely, the internet counts particularly if it involves blogging/commenting/interacting. And that is my third (?) place. I work a hybrid schedule, so I'm generally home most of the time, so maybe it's my 2nd place?
ReplyDeleteI do think about how this must be very muddied with the rise in remote work. So many people don't have a solid second place.
DeleteI'm going to say no to the internet as a third place, in the sense that term is usually understood. The community centre as a third place gets a big thumbs up from me. Third places are really important in terms of feeling part of your physical community and a town or city with great third places will generally be a better place to live and have a greater sense of community.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think our town has a lot of great gathering spaces. But I do think about online and how much engagement (some) people get from it. It's not usually understood as third place, but maybe we should start being more flexible with the term.
DeleteIt's a fun idea. It may apply to people with busier lives who go from here to there much more than I do. I'm in my den a lot, and then there is lunch and dinner with Sue while we watch tv, but I am stumped for a regular #3.
ReplyDeleteYes, your home is your first, second, AND third place! Nothing wrong with that!
DeleteThe pool!! Our pool/tennis club is my third space for sure. Followed so closely by ANY LIBRARY— that’s why I heart libraries so much— instant home. Ben says the hockey rink or the Little League baseball park, which is adorable.
ReplyDeleteAwwww...I guess I don't actually do much socializing at libraries, so they can't count as my third place. It's a place of important business for me!
DeleteI've never thought of online gathering as a third place, but it's such an interesting way of thinking of the bloggy world and how I spend my time and how I connect with people. Or sad, that I spend more time online than meeting up with people in real life? When I think of a third space, I think, "Yeah! I want one!" But do I want the physical space or just the intangible things that it fosters?
ReplyDeleteOr can the third place be one person? Like my friend from college that I visit with regularly since she lives in the same city as me?
Maybe my third place is the playground or the school bus stop where I chat with other parents?
Also - the blanket! I just read an article about how everything in life is averaging out as in things are all starting to look the same (influencers, airbnb photos, car designs) - so a quirky touch seems welcome. It seems to me that this term "professional" should be about how you do your job, not how you accessorize your office. I mean - taking a nap under your desk with a pig blanket - probably unprofessional. But just having a pig blanket is, I feel, professionally neutral.
Yeah, I can't really tell if an online space should count as a third place. As Melissa said upthread, it's generally a physical space that helps to build ties in a community, so that wouldn't work with online. However, if you end up meeting people F2F because of blogging, maybe? Or maybe just the connection without the physical aspect is good enough? I don't know! It's confusing.
DeleteEh, I don't discount the possibility of a nap under my desk with the blanket someday. LOL.
I definitely think we can count online as a third place. Why does it have to be a tangible place we can go? I find much more community and support online than I do at my local coffee shop, as much as I love that place.
ReplyDeleteI think my third place would be my mom's house. I spend a LOT of time there!
Do not replace your pig blanket! My best friend Bri used to walk around our very corporate office in a Minions blanket so I think you're fine!
Yeah, I think it would be great if more people did have a tangible third place to go (like a friend's house!), but I also get that online communities can be amazing and supportive. It's a tricky thing to think about, I think.
DeleteOK, can I nerd out for a sec? Because this topic is really interesting to me, someone who does not have an "official" third place.
ReplyDelete* Are there differences in the responses to this, based on whether people have a physical third space (e.g., church, etc.)? Or, perhaps, an external non-work community to which they belong (e.g., a club or gym)? I would argue... maybe? Just looking at the answers and how they vary?
* There is a lot of research on virtual third spaces in education. I went down an interesting rabbit hole yesterday, so thanks.
* Also? I wonder if there is a difference in using the phrase "third space" vs. "third place". To me, a "place" is more physical, whereas a "space" does not have to be.
In case you can't tell, I absolutely think that online communities count as third spaces. :)
OK, I'm done now! Sorry to hijack.
I'm sure that people without a third space/place are more likely to agree that online communities count than those with them! And I agree with you that place seems physical, but space seems like it has a lot more leeway. I guess I'd be interested in knowing if people who don't have a physical third space, but do have an online community have better happiness outcomes than people who have no third space, either physical or virtual!
DeleteI'm not sure how I feel about it, to be honest, but I definitely feel like online communities are incredibly valuable.
The Internet better count as a third place, because I am afraid I don't have one otherwise. EEK. Goal to change that in 2024.
ReplyDeleteI think it's such a hard question. And for people who work from home, is there even really a second place?!
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