7.1 Hat - Trick

Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write a blog post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the first day of the month is "Hat."

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Our town has several of these creepy sculptures of children just scattered throughout walking paths and parks. Why do I think these are creepy?

It's the soulless eyes.

Imagine if this was a real child?!  No, don't. Don't do that to yourself.

Friday's Hat Trick

1. Zelda has not been feeling well. She threw up at least once a day for three days and then she started having litter box issues before I finally called the vet on Friday. She continued to throw up some more and I do not want to discuss the state of her box, but I do want you to know that true love is holding down a resistant cat while you chop fur off her "sanitation area." ANYWAY.  I went to the vet's office to pick up some medicine that we have to give Zelda for a week. 

2. My husband's department was doing its annual awards ceremony and I went. We brought cupcakes from the local bakery and I went from group to group chatting with everyone and laughing at one of my husband's co-workers who literally wore stained cargo shorts and a sweater with a ripped arm. (Just for comparison, my husband was wearing a suit and tie because it was an awards ceremony. I was wearing a dress!) 

3. We went to the grocery store for our regular Friday date night. 

While there is nothing super special about any of these events, it was notable that I did not wear at a mask at the vet office, the university, or the grocery store. I had a mask with me in case I got uncomfortable, but I think I'm officially moving on. If you had told me in March 2020 that it wouldn't be until April 2023 that things were "normalish" again for me, I think I would have lost my mind.  But here we are. 

My next challenge will be eating a meal in a restaurant. Can I do it?  I'll report back in 2024. Ha!

2022 Q2 Goals Update

It's quarterly goals update time! As a reminder, here are my goals for 2022. Here's how Q1 went. Now on to the second quarter.  My health goals went okayish. Everything else was so so.  It was a tough quarter for me professionally and some of that unhappiness bled into these personal goals.  

Area One: Health 

1) Work out five times a week for 30 minutes or more. Yoga twice a week.  Something else three times a week. 

April
24/30 days of formal workouts of 30 minutes or more
13 yoga workouts
12 strength/cardio workouts

May
26/31 days of formal workouts of 30 minutes or more
9 yoga workouts
16 strength/cardio workouts

June

24/30 days of formal workouts of 30 minutes or more

8 yoga workouts

16 strength/cardio workouts

I did 74/91 days of formal workouts (81.3%) this quarter, which is higher than the 5/7 days goal I had set (71.4%). The yoga goal of twice a week would work out to 26 over the quarter and I did 30, so I hit that. My "something else" three times a week would work out to 39 over the quarter and I did 44, so I also hit that metric.  I feel pretty darn good about this. 

*2)  Drink at least sixteen ounces of water before lunch and sixteen ounces of water after lunch every day. 

April: 16/30 (53%) days in the morning, 29/30 (97%) days after lunch

May: 10/31 (32%) days in the morning, 29/31 (94%) days after lunch

June: 25/30 (83%)days in the morning, 29/30 (97%) days after lunch

After a lackluster early performance, I did get better about filling my mug with water after my morning tea in June.  Let's call it a small win.  

Area Two: Professional 

*1) Apply to a new job at least once a week until I have a new job. 

I've sent out a bunch of resumes and cover letters and have even had a couple of interviews, but I'm still stuck at my current job. I'm honestly so unhappy about this that it's even hard to type it out. 

2) Respond to emails for my volunteer gig in a timely manner. 

Ha ha ha. People have taken to texting me when I actually need to respond. I'm obviously letting this slide.

Area Three: Communication 

1) Continue to post in my blog at least twice a week.

April: 20 posts

May: 20 posts

June: 17 posts

Easily met this goal. Yay!

2) Continue to write a note to K/D/M once a month.

April: Everyone was sent an Easter card.

May: I sent everyone a card for Mother's Day.

June: I guess I just didn't do it this month. Oh, well.  

3) Keep lists of snail mail I send and books I read.

April: Book list here. I sent one bill, eight Easter cards, including to K/D/M, two birthday cards, and a legal document through the mail for a total of 12 items out in snail mail.

May: Book list here. I sent four Mother's Day cards, three bills, and one birthday card for a total of eight items out in snail mail.

June: Book list here. I sent three birthday cards, one Father's Day card, and one bill for  total of five items out in snail mail. June was not my best month for mail. 

*4) Text T/T/M every week. I feel like I'm letting some of my best friendship sort of fall to the wayside because I'm mired in work-related unhappiness, but I need to let these people know I think about them all the time.  Texting isn't intrusive to them, either, so this is a win-win.

April: Completed!

May: I did fail this for one of those people on one week, but otherwise completed.

June: Completed!

Area Four: Post-Pandemic Re-Entry 

1) Visit a new park/nature preserve/outdoor space at least once a quarter.

 This quarter I went to a park for a graduation party in Michigan.  It was new to me!

*2) Visit my mom.

I did not visit my mom, but I'm going to be seeing her in the first week of July, so just barely outside of the second quarter. 

*3) Have people over to our house at least once - for a game night, dinner, or just a hangout. We can't keep ourselves in a bubble forever.

    April: A friend was visiting from out of state and she came over for lunch.

    May: We had friends over for dinner one night.

    June: Womp womp. No one entered our house except for us.

Area Five: Miscellaneous

*1) Keep track of mileage walked with the dog. 

April: 53.78 miles logged this month, which is roughly 1.8 miles a day.  Most days we walked three times, but there were occasional days when we did one more or one less.  On an average day, we walk about a quarter of a mile around the block first thing in the morning, a mile or so in the afternoon, and whatever Hannah feels up to right before bed. On any day that we only went on two walks, she was walked by my husband to get her to three walks a day.

Number of Walks	Number of Days
2	3
3	24
4	2

May: 48.8 miles logged this month, which is roughly 1.6 miles a day. There were a couple of really hot days when Hannah was not up for anything and a few days when she was in some considerable amount of pain and we got less than a mile on those days.

Number of Walks	Number of Days
2	3
3	24
4	4

June: 40.82 miles logged this month, which is roughly 1.36 miles a day. There were a couple of really hot days, Hannah has had some bad pain days, and I was out of town a couple of days. Also, and this is key, fireworks started at the end of the month and Hannah has been basically refusing to go for her evening walk for a couple of weeks now. This will probably go on all summer. Poor scared dog. 

Number of Walks	Number of Days
0	1
1	1
2	7
3	21

*2) Keep track of how I spend my time for a week. Lisa did this in January and I stole the idea from her. Stephany and San did it, too, so I'm really just being a follower.

In college, I was overcommitted and I was having a mini-breakdown in my therapist's office when she had me take off my watch. She kept it for a week and in that week, I stopped watching the seconds pass by and chilled the fuck out. I still don't wear a watch to this day.  I started this exercise on a regular, not much scheduled, nothing urgent happening Saturday, but by 1:30 that afternoon, I found myself checking the clock every two minutes and freaking out over a whole lot of nothing. I immediately stopped tracking my time. As much as I'd like to have the data this exercise would produce, I think I'm going to have to just pass on it.  

*3) Create a document for Dr. BB in the event of my untimely death. Inspired by Suzanne's post.

Ha ha ha. I did not even start this. Rollover to next quarter.

*4) Just figure out how to put more money in my investment accounts. (rollover from last year and last quarter)

I DID THIS! Holy hell. I figured out how to log in to the online account in early April and I set it up to take more money out every month. It wasn't even that hard!!

*5) Continue to donate $50 a month to a local charity. 

April: This month was high in expenses, but I donated $30 to the community foundation for the community center where I worked, so I consider this a job well done.

May: Nope. I bought raffle tickets at the Farmer's Market ($20), but that hardly seems like it counts. 

June: I donated $100 to our local community center ($50 for our yearly membership and $50 for a fundraiser).

I'm basically just including my goals for next quarter here so they're all in one place. Most of these are remaining the same. 

Area One: Health

1) Work out five times a week for 30 minutes or more. Yoga twice a week.  Something else three times a week. 

*2)  Drink at least sixteen ounces of water before lunch and sixteen ounces of water after lunch every day. 

Area Two: Professional

*1) Apply to a new job at least once a week until I have a new job. 

2) Forget responding to emails in a timely manner. Just figure out how to organize the email inbox for my volunteer gig. 

Area Three: Communication

1) Continue to post in my blog at least twice a week.

2) Continue to write a note to K/D/M once a month.

3) Keep lists of snail mail I send and books I read.

*4) Text T/T/M every week

Area Four: Post-Pandemic Reentry

1) Visit a new park/nature preserve/outdoor space at least once a quarter.

*2) Visit my mom.

*3) Have people over to our house at least once - for a game night, dinner, or just a hangout. We can't keep ourselves in a bubble forever.

*4) Buy more KN-95 masks. For a while I thought I could get away without them, but I'm still not comfortable going into public places without a mask, so here we go again.

Area Five: Miscellaneous

*1) Keep track of mileage walked with the dog. 

*2) Create a document for Dr. BB in the event of my untimely death. Inspired by Suzanne's post.

*3) Donate $50 a month to a local charity. 

*4) Brush the dog and cat's teeth. I did a great job in the first quarter when I tracked it, but when I stopped tracking, I stopped doing it, so I'm adding it back.

How are your quarterly goals going? Are you setting any new one for the third quarter?

When to Make the Call

I generally thinking having pets in our house makes for a happier place. They are funny and force us to think about something other than ourselves. I never feel lonely because they are around and their fuzzy faces bring me a great deal of comfort. But sometimes it is so stressful.

This morning we woke up to Hannah the Dog whining every time she turned her rear end. I took her outside briefly, got her some breakfast and pain medication, and then she just leaned on me with most of her body weight, refusing to lay down. It's times like this when I don't know what to do. How do I comfort her and let her know we're doing the best we can?  

But then there are the questions - are we doing the best we can? Should she be on a constant regimen of pain killers? Is this the dreaded "change in behavior" that means we should call the vet right now?  There's no reason for the pain - we have her on modified bedrest, so she's only walking around the block three times a day right now and each trip around the block is only a quarter of a mile. She's literally not doing anything else since we've also basically stopped training her because it seemed like even sitting and shaking was causing her discomfort. For a dog her age, this is nothing, but she seems to be in so much pain right now that we're giving her painkillers every day. Should she be getting less exercise? More?  I don't know, my friends. I say I'm doing the best I can, but am I?

And then there's Zelda the Cat. She has started to become a Cuddly Cat. Zelda has always been a cat who is willing to cuddle on her own terms. If one of us is laying down quietly, she's more than happy to come up on our laps, but generally she's like a knickknack that moves about the house. However, these days, she's become clingy. If Dr. BB is reading at the table, she's meowing at him. If I'm working on my laptop, she's putting her paw on me to request pets. Her eating habits and litter box output haven't changed, but her behavior is slightly different. Is it because it's winter and she's cold? Is she secretly telling us she's sick? Is it worth a call to the vet? Imagine that conversation - so, my cat is demanding attention - is she okay? Cats demand attention. It's what they do. But now she's doing it slightly differently. Should I be worried?  

These micro-decisions. For those of you who have children, I have nothing but respect. I don't know how you make it through birth (epidural or no? circumcision or no?), let alone all the tiny decisions you have to make about the day-to-day life of a child. I am going crazy wondering if I am doing something wrong by not placing a call to a veterinarian and you all are out there raising up the next generation and you seem to be doing it with aplomb.

It is becoming clear to me that while I am doing my absolute best to stay on top of my SAD, it is really getting to me right now. I have constant anxiety (about my job, about the pets, about weather, about family, about everything). I am doing all the things - taking vitamin D, using a SAD lamp, walking outdoors in the daylight - but I guess this is how it's going to for the next month or so.  Hopefully I will snap out of this and return to normal soon. Everything just seems so oppressive and hard right now.

In the meantime, I'll just sit here and continue to fret about whether or not I should call the vet because man, this is one pathetic dog I have on my hands.

Little Moments

January and the February are really challenging months. It's just mid-winter and the weather is endlessly harsh and, if you're anything like us, there's not much on the calendar to look forward to. So it's the little moments that have to sustain me.

Like Hannah pretending she can't hear me when she knows I'm going to make her leave her favorite park.

Or the look on Hannah's face when she's just done with a walk and cannot take one more minute of this.

We also went to an ice castle thing in a nearby town with a couple of friends last week. We went on a Thursday night and my friend Rachel (should I give her a pseudonym?) was joking about how it felt like we were playing hooky and going out on a school night. It did feel slightly naughty!  

Anyway, it was interesting and I think I would have enjoyed it a lot more in non-Covid times because, although the majority of it was outdoors (obviously), we had to go in the building a couple of times and no one besides the employees was wearing a mask. This global pandemic has really ruined my sense of whimsy. Regardless, it was so nice to go out and be with people and go somewhere I'd never been and do something I'd never done before. It was beautiful and fun. We also have a lot of "how did they do that?" questions that are not answered anywhere on site or on the web. Come one, ice castle company, do a little slideshow of the process for the nerds in the back!

At the end of last week, our work team did a meeting with one of our two-year technical college partners. And they had prepared for us some delightful treats from their pastry department.  Look how pretty! (Sadly, they were rock hard and even when I microwaved them, they were pretty much inedible, but it is THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.)

Those are my little moments. Let's see if we can get through the next two months without a full blown winter-created mental health crisis.

2022 Quarterly Goals

Since 2017, I've been setting myself quarterly goals. I've made some serious improvements in my life and created good habits because of these goals, but I'm starting to see them as pretty rigid, so I'm this year I'm trying to be more flexible - I'm going to have four areas of goal-setting and three goals within each, but I'm going to leave one or two of the goals flexible for me to decide for that particular quarter, as opposed to deciding now, in January, what my October goal should be! The numbers with * to them will be changing quarterly.

Area One: Health - I was pretty successful at my health goals last year and I'd like to maintain that momentum.

1) I'd like to keep my goals of working out at least five times a week for 30 minutes or more from 2021. I'd like at least two of those to be yoga and the other three can be whatever suits me. This first bullet will be for the same for the entire year unless I decide to change the numbers for some reason.

*2) For the first quarter, I need to go to the doctor to deal with the back pain that I've been suffering from since September and then actually do something about said pain.

*3) For the first quarter, I have to drink at least sixteen ounces of water every day. I drink a lot of liquid, but it's usually in the form of tea or Gatorade Zero and I'm desperate to decrease our grocery bills, so water is part of my solution.  

Area Two: Professional - It goes without saying that I need a lot of help here.

*1) Apply to a new job at least once a week until I have a new job. Hopefully this will only be on the goal list for the first quarter, but if my job search continues to be unsuccessful, it might stay on the list longer.

2) Respond to emails for my volunteer gig in a timely manner. I am in a relatively important role, but sometimes I don't have the headspace for it. I need to prioritize this.

*3) Likewise, I'm in charge of the programming committee at my volunteer gig and I need to really solidify the programming calendar for 2022 in the first quarter.

Area Three: Communication - I'm inherently a reserved person, so I'm going to try to keep up some of my habits from last year.

1) Continue to post in my blog at least twice a week.

2) Continue to write a note to K/D/M once a month.

3) Keep lists of snail mail I send and books I read.

Area Four: Post-Pandemic Re-Entry - I'm including this area over financial goals because I realized that I need to prioritize my mental health. I'll probably do occasional updates on budgeting/expenses, but I really need to start thinking about what it's going to be like whenever I leave my house.  I mean, someday I'm going to have to leave my house, right? I realize that I've become almost agoraphobic and the idea of travel outside of a six block radius of my house sort of skeeves me out. I don't know if I can continue to live like that.

1) Visit a new park/nature preserve/outdoor space at least once a quarter.

*2) Make plans in Q1 to visit my mom in Q2.

*3) Buy more KN95 masks.  

Miscellaneous

*1) For heaven's sake, figure out how to put more money in my investment accounts.  

*2) Just brush the dog and cat's teeth. How hard is it?  (Apparently very hard for me.)

*3) Try to figure out a budget for big things like groceries, savings, pet care, and things that aren't regular expenses, but come up regularly like birthday and holiday presents. 

UPDATE:

*4) After reading Stephany's post in mid-January, I have decided that I will donate $25 a month to a charity of my choice each month. This seems doable.