20th Anniversary Countdown: Guest Post #7

In celebration of my 20th Blogiversary, I'm having guest posts every week in the lead up to the big day. 

Please welcome Lisa!

Lisa is a mom of two little boys who lives in Minneapolis. She has a full-time job in the financial field, gives great picture book recommendations, and manages her way through a very busy life with a chronic health condition called rheumatoid arthritis. She's been blogging for quite some time and it's fun to dive into her archives from when she was a single lady through when she got married and then had babies! She blogs over at Lisa's Yarns and you should go visit her there!

Hi, I’m Lisa of the blog Lisa’s Yarns (named as such because it’s meant to be a platform to share the stories/yarns of my life (a la the phrase spinning yarns)). Similar to NGS, I’m a Midwesterner who also adores reading and books. When NGS asked me if I wanted to guest post, I had a lot of different ideas for a “20 things” list but ultimately went with the 20 ways blogging has made my life better.

1. It allowed me to form friendships without geographical constraints. There are people I call friends who live around the world.

2. In that same vein, it helped me find my fellow enthusiasts for things such as running, reading, and Paris.

3. Blogging and the friendships I formed got me through a very lonely period of my late 20s/early 30s when most of my college friends were getting married and starting families and I was very single.

4. … blogging also got me through a challenging, lonely year when I was relocated to Charlotte for my job and then diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (which is a crappy autoimmune disease that tends to impact my joints). I haven’t gone back and read many posts from that year because they are painfully raw but writing about my experience was very cathartic.

5. It’s given me an opportunity to explore places I might not have otherwise gone. For example, when Phil and I stayed with Kyria for a weekend back in 2016, she took us on this awesome hike down to Stinson Beach where we enjoyed tacos in the cutest little taco stand. How could we have come up with a cool plan like that on our own unless we had a local by our side?

6. I also went on some very cool running-centric trips because of blogging. I ran the Victoria, BC half marathon and a trail half marathon in Berkeley, CA.

7. As someone who doesn’t identify as being artsy by any stretch of the imagination, it’s given me a virtual scrapbook of life. If something big happened since I started blogging in 2008, it’s probably been documented on the blog.

8. It has given me a platform to share the books I’ve loved with my readers!

9. I’ve also gotten a lot of book recommendations from reading others’ blogs, like NGS!

10. Thanks to my blog, I can refer to myself as a writer (even though I struggle to really embrace that as part of my identity).

11. It has allowed me to share some finance-heavy topics on the blog, like annual spending posts, ethe decision to pay off our mortgage, and how we conduct our quarterly financial review.

12. It’s helped me process the loss of several important people in my life, such as my grandparents.

13. It also helped me process the end of several dating relationships… which are another set of posts I haven’t felt compelled to re-read because of how raw they were.

14. If someone is traveling to a place I’ve been, I can simply send them the links to the posts I wrote about that location. Mostly recently, I sent a bunch of Maui posts to Kae since she’s going there in June.

15. Because of blogging, I was a bridesmaid in 2 weddings and had 2 tables of bloggers at my own wedding (although most in this photo are no longer blogging. Whomp whomp)! [Note from NGS: Look at that gorgeous wedding dress. I feel like I should go back and read a recap from everyone who got married.]

16. I can crowdsource ideas from people I know and trust. The most recent example was when I was debating getting an Apple watch. I hemmed and hawed over this but then thought – why don’t I just ask Elisabeth! I knew she had an Apple Watch AND I knew that they were very thoughtful about spending money so I asked for her thoughts and it gave me the confidence to pull the trigger on the purchase.

17. Blogging has introduced me to women that I think of as sort of adopted/surrogate big sisters. Two that come to mind are Nicole and Jenny. They are just a bit older than me but in a different stage of life and I appreciate their wisdom and perspective on things! I feel like “what would Nicole do” could/should be a mantra in my life and I feel a special kinship with Jenny because our oldest sons are both named Paul (which is not a super common name these days!) and she lives in a very musical household which is something I can relate to since I was very musical and even taught piano as a high school job! 

18. I also get a lot of recipe ideas from blogging – most recently I was inspired to make the curry chickpea salad that so many were raving about. I never would have heard of it otherwise!

19. Blogging has also introduced me to people in my own city. A woman that lives in my neighborhood and has similar-aged kids found me through my blog. What a small world we live in! We have met up in person several times and she’s such a delight.

20. Lastly, blogging is a hobby that I can do no matter what is going on in my life. I certainly post far less than I did during my pre-kid days but I can usually write 2 posts/week – often from my phone (which I know blows NGS’s mind!), and I try to keep up with others blogs as best as I can because that back-and-forth dialogue within comments can forge really meaningful friendships! [Note from NGS: I can't even look up restaurant recommendations on my phone - I have no idea how Lisa writes entire posts on hers!]

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Have you ever been to a blogger wedding? Made that curry chickpea salad? Met people in your own city because of blogging?

10.20 Message - MPLS

Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Every day we will write a blog post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the twentieth day of the month is "Message." I have decided that I'm going to write about the last photo message I sent and/or received via text.

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So we did end up going to Minneapolis. We were there for less than 24 hours, and we did lots of things that were important to us, but let's just start with some very basic things.

The first thing we did was go to the Walker Sculpture Garden because the entire time I lived in Minneapolis, I never took my photo by the Spoonbridge and Cherry, so I had to rectify that since I am officially a tourist now and not a resident. Obviously my husband took this photo and then sent it to me. I apologize for the dumb hat, but I'm old and prone to bad reactions to everything in the world, including sunlight.

The sculpture garden has definitely increased in size since we lived there and we spent far too much time wondering about the financial state of the Walker and its acquisitions team, but you can't tell me that you don't do the same exact thing when you're at a modern art museum. The sculpture garden is open daily and is free and should be a mandatory Minneapolis stop. 

I have been utterly influenced by the world of Harry Potter and since the suits of armor animated to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts, I wonder a lot about what if some of these sculptures came to life, see especially the above Hephaestus or the below Hahn/Cock. Imagine if they suddenly started moving around!

We wandered around going to local shops we missed from our time there before going on a stroll around Lake of the Isles. Minneapolis has a lot of public parks and green spaces, but its crown jewel is the Chain of Lakes. Lake of the Isles is one of those lakes and when we were first dating, Dr. BB lived a block off of it and we used to walk around it for hours and hours. We just did one lap this time (just over 2.5 miles).

I absolutely love our town and our house, but if I had lottery money, I would buy a house on Lake of the Isles and live there year round. 

From there, we ordered pizza from Pizza Luce and took it back to our hotel (a random Hampton Inn by the airport - nothing special) to eat. Pizza Luce is the only place that claims to have gluten-free food that we have eaten at and Dr. BB has not been sick. Plus, their pizzas are delicious. We ordered a GF Pizza Athena (minus red onions) and a GF Baked Potato Pizza (minus bacon) and they were so good. We ate some of it for dinner and I had cold pizza for breakfast the next day. This was our only meal out - the rest we packed in a cooler. 

I did have a cupcake!

The next day we did something that might make you roll your eyes, but I was very excited about. We went to the Mall of America where I replaced a bunch of my University of Minnesota gear. I have one Minnesota hoodie and I've been babying it for years. I've replaced the zipper on it multiple times, but the sleeves are legitimately frayed in an irreparable way. I wanted a full zip and while I wasn't able to find one in maroon (I got black), I had to settle because my current one is no longer an option. I also got a couple of long-sleeve t-shirts, some postcards (natch), and some popcorn. 

I had somehow forgotten the scope of MoA. It's just enormous.

Then we went back to the Chain of Lakes to walk around Lake Harriet because this was our lake when we first got married. We lived a few blocks away from it and even got our engagement pictures taken there. (No one asked, but I prefer our engagement photos to our wedding photos. The wedding photos are WONDERFUL, but the engagement photos show our true selves a lot more.) The lake is the same, but the rose garden has expanded quite a bit and it was BUSY there. Like, we were there on a Thursday in the late morning/early afternoon and there were so many people there!

We tried to recreate some of those engagement photos, but it turns out neither of us is a professional photog. Hey, if you're getting married in the Twin Cities, Barclay Horner is still around!

This trip around Lake Harriet meant I could cross "go to the beach" off my summer to-do list. Woot woot!

We ate lunch by the bandshell and the sailboats and then headed home to go get the dog from the sitter. All in all, a delightful tiny getaway.

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If you could blink your eyes and instantly be transported somewhere for 24 hours, where would it be?

Weekend Two In Minneapolis

Weekend one here.

Friday night was not an ideal time to fly from Milwaukee to Minneapolis. It was raining in Milwaukee when we left and that led to a half-hour delay while we sat in the plane and it was raining in Minneapolis which led to endless circling around the Twin Cities.

By the time we landed, I was tired and hungry and instead of doing something, I just checked into my hotel and meandered around Stadium Village to find something to eat.

After some food, I felt much better and went for a walk around campus. I just can't give over how different it is than when I attended. Areas that used to be sort of shady are now condo-filled, there are light rail stations everywhere, and it's just so clean. It's weird.

I walked across the Washington Avenue bridge and was reminded of the many, many times I crossed that bridge, going to classes that I had no business attending, attempting to fit in workouts at the gym, and cycling to my part-time job, a job I still have, albeit in a new city and a new capacity.

 

It's not just the campus area that's changed, though. The Metrodome is no more and has been replaced by a horrendous U. S. Bank Stadium. I don't really want to talk about this horrid building, but I did take to using the Government Plaza light rail station to make my connections, instead of the U. S. Bank Stadium (formerly Metrodome) stop.  

And I feel like those two weekends really did fill a need in my heart for some Minneapolis love.

Two Days, Three Nights in Minneapolis

Last weekend (July 29 - 31) we went to Minneapolis. I went for a work thing that had me in the office from 8am - 5pm during the day on Saturday and Sunday, but Dr. BB was there because his brother and sister-in-law were going to be there, too.  We made the most of our time there, despite my limited free time.

On the way there, Agnes' odometer reached 150,000 miles! I'm not super excited that our car has so many miles on it, but I'm pretty pleased with her overall reliability.  (Dr. BB was driving when I took this photo, so we weren't actually in danger.)

 We started our trip with a walk around Lake of the Isles. Dr. BB and I have a strong history with this lake and it was nostalgic and sweet and hot as hell, so we did one loop and called it good. We had dinner at Pizza Luce and went back to our hotel where I fell asleep in about half a minute.

I woke up early on Saturday morning and walked around campus a bit. It definitely has changed since I went to school there. Light rail has changed the landscape considerably.

But even nature loves maroon and gold!

Saturday night I met up with Dr. BB and the gang and we went to Target Field to watch the Twins lose a nailbiter to the White Sox.

I absolutely expensed $14 for that enormous helmet of nachos (training meals - travel - dinner).  Don't judge me.

 And then we took light rail back to the hotel where I fell asleep in half a minute.

On my lunch break on Sunday I ran over to Goldy's Locker Room and now I am the proud owner of more Minnesota gear than I have ever owned, including the time I went to school there. Mostly this is in reaction to the my Iowa Hawkeye loving in-laws who constantly razz me about my Gopher loyalty (but I have a DEGREE from this school, random in-law who roots for Iowa despite never having taken a single class there).  I plan to wear Gopher gear to every family gathering from here until Thanksgiving. 

And then we came home.

10.2 Animals - Carousel

Bestest Friend and I are in the middle of a blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the second day of each month is "Animals."
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As a special treat for being an extra special snowflake, my high school physics teacher sent me and a few other special snowflakes to a nearby amusement park to complete a packet (how many g's on the roller coaster? what's the circumference of the racecar track?).  I honestly have very little memory of this excursion, but I do remember spending an inordinate amount of time counting the lights on the Ferris wheel.

When I was in Minnesota a couple of weeks ago and my nephew wanted to ride the carousel, I stood there waiting for him to make it through the line and I was a bit overwhelmed. I was wearing my coat and carrying my nephew's, so sweat was trickling down my back.  I could hear the chatter of thousands of people echoing through this enormous enclosed park, the tinkling music of the carousel, and my brother-in-law asking me questions.  There was a baby screaming somewhere near, my fingers were swollen from dehydration, and all I could see in front of me were the lights.

Ignoring my brother-in-law (I am so rude), I began counting the lights. Each mirror had 40. There were 15 mirrors.  Each panel had 65. There were 7 panels. Each section of the circumference had 30. There were 10 sections.

Slowly, I calmed down. I did the multiplication in my head, shaking my head when I had to carry.  And then when I saw my nephew go around, I didn't hear the noise or feel like I was going to collapse from the heat.  Instead, I saw his big smile, and I waved at him and watched as he waved back. The next time around, I made a funny face and I could hear his giggles until he came around again.

It turns out high school physics was good for something in my life after all.

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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.

9.15 Inertia - This Child

Bestest Friend and I are in the middle of a blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the fifteenth day of each month is "Inertia."
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The day's itinerary included a trip to REI so the five-year old and the adults who didn't have previously broken limbs could climb the rock wall, go to Mall of America briefly to finish using the points on the wristband for Nickelodeon Universe, go to this ice castles thing, and go to the arcade in the hotel before bed. We had meals planned out, extra time built in here and there, and it was going to be The Best Day Ever.

Only the five-year old did not want to go on the rock wall, he did not want to ride the rides, and he definitely did not want to go outside in the cold to see the ice castles.   So I have one picture of him smiling and many, many photos of his back as he refused to look at us while he was sulking.

But it was The Best Day ever anyway.  We used the ride tickets up amongst the adults, the adults enjoyed the ice castles and sliding down the ice slides, and we just allowed him to experience our fun. And he loved the arcade and spent an hour and a half playing Skee Ball, Connect Four, and Ms Pac Man. 

We only have this morning left with him and I'm hoping for one more good shot, preferably with an actual smile for once!

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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.

9.14 Reach - Romance

Bestest Friend and I are in the middle of a blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the fourteenth day of each month is "Reach."
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Maybe the Mall of American on Valentine's Day is not the most romantic of locations.  Maybe it was super crowded, loud, and filled with rambunctious tweens and teens who do not understand the concept of personal space.  Maybe.

But it was also amazing.

My shopping haul included a new Swatch, a new sweater, and some makeup from Sephora. My sister-in-law and I rode a ride called Ghost Zone at Nickelodeon Universe, we ate lunch at a mall food court, and we people watched like it was our job.

And tonight we crawled back to our hotel room, read our matching Kindles (his in black, hers in purple), and cuddled close, knowing that this was the best Valentine's Day we could have asked for.
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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.

8.18 Favorite Memories - Mudonna

Bestest Friend and I are in the middle of a blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the eighteenth day of each month is "Favorite Memories."
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She's divine swine, the diva of the diamond, the duchess of pork, she's the St. Paul Saint's very own awesome mascot...MUDONNA. I have a, um, you know, slight obsession with pigs and the first time we went to a St. Paul Saints game in 2009, I could not believe how awesome she was. I spent the entire game following her around, hoping for a photo op. This is the best I got.

Also, this game was in August, but it was so cold we ended up leaving at the end of the fifth inning because my lips were turning blue. Lesson learned. Always bring a blanket or two to any sporting event, regardless of the month on the calendar. 

I have been to minor league games for the Saint Paul Saints, West Michigan Whitecaps, Toledo Mud Hens, and Quad City River Bandits and I have enjoyed them all. There's lots of entertainment on and off field, so you don't have to actually watch the game!  (I think this randomly turned into an advertisement for minor league ball games.  Go with your families! Buy some nachos and try to catch t-shirts from the cannon! Don't forget your blanket!)
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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.

2.27 Media - The Curious Case of the Newspaper Box

Bestest Friend and I are in the middle of a blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the twenty-seventh day of each month is "Media."
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Earlier this week I was listening to a podcast in which the panelists decried "the youth" for not even knowing that cut and paste was a thing you physically had to do when creating a newspaper layout in the days before word processors and computers and while I rolled my eyes at the silliness of the conversation (this is your main problem with "kids today?!), I became a tiny bit nostalgic about the days of my own youth when a newspaper was delivered to my house each day and there were piles of newspapers everywhere in our house. And then I snapped out of the nostalgia because there were piles of newspapers everywhere.

I don't actually worry about the fact that physical newspapers are not as ubiquitous as they once were, but I do worry about the carelessness with which news is now released to the public.  People die in accidents and their names are found via blogs and social media before their families are told. Speculation runs rampant that a suspected terrorist is that one guy and Twitter runs wild with rumor for hours before it becomes known that he's completely innocent.  In order to get the story to the website fast (or first!), facts aren't checked and followups are few.

The 24-hour news cycle forces news organizations to create controversy where none exists. It creates a supposed political polarization in this country pitting neighbor against neighbor when actual differences in priorities and concerns are minute. It creates a feel of helplessness in the minds of every citizen who turns on the television or radio to be bombarded with important stories of huge importance that seem so overwhelming that whatever political efficacy he or she had goes out the window as they change the channel so they can listen to the next Carrie Underwood hit and forget about the sturm and drang of the news cycle.

So as I walked by these newspaper boxes today, I said a silent eulogy to a time of carefully researched news programs and an informed populace that thought members of Congress did more than campaign for reelection and had faith it its leaders to make right and moral decisions. 

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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.

2.26 Support - Your Local Economy (If Your Local Economy is Minneapolis)

Bestest Friend and I are in the middle of a blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the twenty-sixth day of each month is "Support."
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I've been in Minneapolis this weekend and there's nothing that makes me feel better than hanging out at Minneapolis-based businesses and giving them my money.  From local bookstores to restaurants and sports franchises (? - wait? does the money stay here or just go to the national league?), I did my best to make sure I spread my money around. 

Local businesses I love include Cliche, a boutique in Uptown that focuses on fashion-forward women's clothes, and Wild Rumpus, a bookstore located in the Linden Hills neighborhood that has three (3!!) Manx shop cats and a great selection of books for kids that makes me happy.  Both businesses have excellent service and make me a repeat customer even though I do live in another state.

More on food and where to stay later, but for now, I give you downtown in all its glory. There's nothing quite like a city skyline to make this girl's heart go pitter patter.

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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.

1.4 Place - Minneapolis, Please

Bestest Friend and I are embarking on a new blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the fourth day of each month is "Place."
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Over Memorial Day weekend, we did a ridiculous trip to Des Moines for a graduation party followed by two blissful days in Minneapolis before we drove back home. We went to a Twins game (the Twins lost to the Rangers), we rode the light rail the whole way from the Mall of America to Target Field, we shopped at See's Candy (everything in the store is gluten free!), I bought some awesome dresses at a boutique on Lyndale, we bought tea from the shop that introduced me to the wonders of green tea that doesn't taste like bitter, and we wandered around Heimie's Haberdashery and wondered yet again about how awesome their merchandise is.  We also walked around Lake Harriet and Lake of the Isles and got lost in Tangletown.  We ate at Pizza Luce, we almost got blown over by crazy winds bringing a summer storm, and we spent way too much time oohing and aahing over new construction and the giant hole in the ground that used to be the Metrodome.

And then we came home and I realized that although I miss Minneapolis desperately, I'm quite happy hear with my husband and my cat and my occasional trips to the big city.  But, seriously, I could totally use a See's Candy nearby...

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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit To Quit. 

Five by Five - Random Pictures I Took On My Phone

1. Weekly Outing with Strange People: Last weekend, I was in Minneapolis for work. I really only had a few hours here and there to go do STUFF, but during my lunch break, I walked down to the University of Minnesota by the stadium and tailgated with some random people. My Gophers sweatshirt gave me cred. It was...wonderful.

Go Gophers!

2.Weekly Shot of 6:30 on a Sunday Morning in a College District: It's just so deserted.

For my Minneapolis folks, this is Washington Ave, just past the Alumni Center. The light rail tracks are IN! They're hoping to be up and running by next summer. Light railing connecting Minneapolis-St. Paul, running through campus, is going to be the awesomest thing that ever awesomed.

The red light is controlling absolutely no traffic.

3. Best Destroyed Mail: My sister sent me this postcard (made from balsa wood) while she was on her honeymoon. It arrived taped up in a plastic bag in two pieces. I took a picture of it and texted it to her because it's amazingly destroyed!

Broken whales. Broken hearts.

4. Smallest Watermelon Ever: I don't know if it's truly the smallest watermelon to ever exist, but it's the smallest watermelon I've ever eaten. I put it next to a tomato and squash for size comparison, but I am not sure you really get the true feel of the scale. All three were part of our CSA basket this week. All three are currently in my belly!

It was okay for a watermelon. I just think they're kind of pointless melons, really. I ate it. It was fine. The tomato? The tomato was the kind tomato dreams are made of.

5. Gratuitous Picture of My Cat: I'm going to send in a few pictures to Cat Fancy. Surely they'd want her to be a cover model because she's so gorg.

This is why working at home is so hard. She's laying right on the materials I needed at that moment to do my work. But, hey, who needs to work?  I can take an unnecessary picture of my cat.

The Town

The name is a bastardized version of Sioux name, the daughter of a chief who, the story goes, died tragically in order to avoid marrying a man she did not love. It's a gorgeous river town, with the Mighty Mississippi making up the eastern border.  It sits in a river valley, bluffs surrounding it, protecting it from the worst of the Minnesota weather and giving it the claim of "most temperate city in Minnesota."  The most notable landmark in town is a rocky mass of limestone that juts out over the rest of the bluffs, the only limestone remaining from the quarrying that was an early industry in the town.

Taken from the scenic overlook when we first moved in August

The 2010 census puts the population at just over 27,000.  Three institutions of higher learning are located in the city and the combined enrollment of those schools is about 10,000 of that population.  But education is not the number one employer here - industry and health care get the top billing.  More than 20% of the land area of the city (town?) is water and it feels damp and wet everywhere you go.  As I sink into the sheets at night, I squirm around, feeling the dank invade my soul.  Rumor has it ice skating is going to be awesome this winter thanks to the lakes that make up such a large part of the town.

It's a border town and we've taken our bikes across the bridge to Wisconsin more than once.  It comes with the eccentricities of any border town - the Fleet and Farm has both Vikings and Packers apparel for sale, we get television channels from both sides of the river, and there is a lot of talk about filing taxes in two different states at cocktail parties.  When we first moved here, all we could talk about was how nice the people were.   And they are nice.  Road rage doesn't seem to exist here.  Folks let pedestrians cross the streets without marked crosswalks.  The clerks at the grocery store are genuinely concerned when Italian parsley is not in stock.  The baristas at the local coffee shop are willing to make recommendations.  It's weird to actually see Minnesota nice in its full glory here since no one who lives in the Twin Cities is from Minnesota, you don't actually get it there.

Dr. BB loves it here.  He really does.  I hope someday I do, too.

Nobody Gets Off In This Town*

The last two days I've rattled about, feeling like Polly Housewife, cooking, mopping, vacuuming, dusting (OMFG who am I?), reorganizing the linen closet for the fifteenth time, listening to an endless loop of Garth Brooks, recognizing for the billionth time the brilliance of the album Sevens.  (Just for the record, fuck off, all you haters.  Sevens is far better than any other studio album in the Brooks oeuvre.)  In the tiny container of our apartment, I can control the music selection, the number of chocolate chip cookies in the cookie tin, the number of times I check Facebook every day (three), and where I put the red sheets in the linen closet.  Outside of #206, I control little, little of my own destiny or joy.  So I make another batch of cookies, do another load of laundry, and run the vacuum compulsively.

My husband has been on the academic job market for quite some time.  And in late July he got an offer and he took it.  We moved in early August and now here we are. I am unemployed. He is so employed that even when he's home, he's working.  I am still commuting back and forth to Minneapolis, finishing up some commitments there, but most days I sit in our apartment, filling out job application after job application for jobs I don't really want, but not knowing what else to do.  

I nearly screamed at the computer every time someone posted a congratulatory comment on Facebook. That's great for Dr. BB!  Hooray!  That's exciting!

Yeah.  Exciting.  Fuck that.  The anger I feel over this move is so intense that sometimes I can hardly look at my husband without erupting.

But.  And this is a big but.  This was a deal we made when I dropped out of grad school.  We would take a job wherever he got one.  And it's not his fault.  It could be a lot worse. 

He loves it here. There is good biking.  There is a lot of outdoorsy type beauty. 

I hate it here. There's nothing to do, no place to shop, no place to go.

The discussion boiled down to the following:
Him: If we stay in the Twin Cities, I will be going backwards in my career.
Me: If we move there, I will be going backwards in my life.

Of course we moved. We are here. I am dealing.  Tomorrow I will slap the smile back on my face and go about the farce of a life I have.  Small town America, here I fucking come.

*Who else but the one and only Garth Brooks?

The Summer Solstice

Overcast sky, tornado watches all around the Metro, dew point so close to the actual temperature that sweat slides down my back in an unrelenting stream of salt.

Holding hands, we walk around the lake, impressed by the sheer aloneness we feel in this city.  Everyone has been scared inside by the Armageddon forecasts, but we walk.  Our sweaty hands soon drop to our sides as we continue on, occasional words spoken, side glances given, and smiles exchanged.

It's not the first time we've been here.  Our lives up in the air, exciting phone calls made, the waiting game being played out.  We've been married over three years and the entire time we've been on the edge of building something that has slipped away just at the moment we most needed it.  But today we are happy with what we have. 

We have afternoon walks together. We have evenings curled up on the couch together, reading and flirting with my legs thrown across his lap. We have lazy mornings together, lingering minutes over breakfast, playfully kicking one another under the table.  We have bike rides to the grocery store to  pick up just one lemon.  We have homemade baked goods.  We have parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme growing in our window boxes.  We have time. 

He stops suddenly and turns to me.  I know his question without any words.  I would be here.  Always here.  Because I am with you.

Faces About Town

She was pregnant. I couldn't hazard a guess as to how far along, but the bump was there, quite noticeable, and as I watched her sashay in front of me, I admired her ability to pull off three inch gold heels while toting around another human being inside her.  Her minidress was skin tight, black pleather, with a neckline lower than the slinkiest camisole I own.  I was at once horrified, impressed, appalled, and slightly awed. Horrified by the thought of the pain of the heels on a pregnant body.  Impressed by just how good she made it all look.  Appalled by the trashiness of the look and by my attraction to the whole ensemble.  Slightly awed by her total confidence and style.  Someday I want to be as self-assured as she is.

***************


She is the only one I can count on to get things done.  When everyone else ignores my emails and phone calls, she systematically finishes the tasks on my list, sends me an email letting me know everything is complete, and does so with a smile and a funny one liner. 

She tells me, offhandedly, that she is transitioning to becoming a male.  When she's not at the office, she goes by William.  Suddenly a whole lot of recent changes in her appearance become more clear to me.  "But what about here at work?" I ask.  I haven't decided yet, she tells me.  Flummoxed, I smile and move on to my job-related requests.  Later, I am full of questions.  Does she want me to call her William?  Do I call her he?  What does she want me to do?  Can I ask her these questions now?  I totally want to do the right thing, but I just don't know what that is.

***************

Checkout lane 4, fancy grocery store in the suburbs, one of those stores with the sushi counter and bottles of disgustingly real ginger ale.  In front of me, a little girl is holding onto the shopping cart, a cart shaped like a race car, as if it will sprout wings and fly away if she doesn't hold onto it.  I smile at her, slightly jealous that those carts didn't exist when I was her age.  She's beautiful, brown hair all in tangles, big brown eyes, and elfin ears.

She says something to me in a quiet voice, but I can't quite hear her. 

I squat down in front of her.  "What, sweetie?"

"What's your name?"

"I'm NGS. What's your name?"

"Grace."  She has two fingers in her mouth and she's talking around them in a whisper. 

Still squatting, I lean in closer to her.  "Are you helping your mom shop?"  I nod and glance in the direction of the frazzled woman dealing with a cartful of groceries that would feed our household for a month.

The mom smiles at me.

"Yes."

"I bet you help a lot," I say, knowing in my heart she probably drives her mom crazy, but hoping that today was a good day for them.

"I always help," she whispers to me. 

"I bet you do."

Just then the cashier moves her race car cart and Grace follows it.  "Bye Grace."

She smiles at me, a shy, quick grin, and then her mom grabs her hand, and they are gone.

Bethany's Letter

This arrived in our mailbox a little over a week ago. I am sort of in love with this letter.

(click to make the image larger)

Dear Residant, 4-8-2011
Hello my name is Bethany and you do
not know me personally. I am a volunteer
and I wanted to write you since I
am unable to visit you personally.
We are approaching the anniversary
of Jesus Christ's death. With that in mind
I would like to share this thought found
at Romans 6:23, "For the wages sin pays
is death, but the gift God gives is
everlasting life by Christ Jesus our Lord."
Certainly Jesus death means a lot for us!
I would like to invite you to come
show your appreciation for what Jesus
has done as we commemorate his death
on Sunday April 17th, 2011. This is your
personal invitation, and you will notice
the time and location as well. You and
your family are welcome. Please bring
your copy of the Bible, as we will be
using it. Thank you! I hope to see
you there!
Sincerely,
Bethany R.

P.S. If you would like to
learn more or if you are
interested in having a free
home Bible study please contact me
at: blah, blah, blah


*******************************
Questions:
1) How horrified do you think Bethany would be to learn I don't own a Bible? The boy has several and we refer to them regularly for a variety of reasons, but I don't have one of my very own.

2) What do you think Bethany is like? I imagine her as an agoraphobic 30-something with five cats, wearing too long skirts and thick glasses. It's completely unfair of me, but this is what I do.  What does she do for a living?  Again, with the free rein of my imagination, she works at home as one of those people who scans medical documents into digital form. 

3) I find the letter to be way more effective than if Bethany had stopped by. If she had stopped by, I would have cut her off at the word Jesus. But by sending this letter, I've read it approximately three dozen times and I've shown it to everyone who has crossed our apartment threshold. Now that it's been scanned for permanent safekeeping, I think I'm going to put in on the fridge. Do you suppose that's the reason Bethany was unable to visit us?  I mean, it wouldn't have mattered either way since I decidedly won't be attending, but I've read it.  And smiled while doing so.

4) Who is assigning Bethany addresses?  Did she write one to everyone in our building?  Everyone on the whole block?  That's a lot of people to write to.  Does she pay for the stamps herself?

5) Is Bethany worried about creepy stalker types going to her address?  I blurred it out for her before I published it here, but it's kind of creepy.  I'm kind of tempted to stalk her (what? she lives less than a mile away) so that I can answer the pressing questions about what Bethany looks like.

Why Here? Why There?

The DJ slides in between Carrie Underwood and Jared and the Long Road to Love to let us know that the high today is going to be a balmy zero degrees with mostly sunny skies. Of course it is. It's Minneapolis in January. Our cars are all coated in a thick layer of salt, indistinguishable white/gray sedans next to indistinguishable white/gray SUVs. With every gas tank refill we put in another bottle of windshield washer fluid. Long underwear no longer hides in the back of the closet, but is a staple of every day wear. Every other morning a fresh layer of snow falls upon our huge snowdrifts and the bright sun reflecting off the white, white snow blinds us as we frantically try to clear the snow off our cars, porches, and sidewalks. Those new sunglasses better be polarized or you'll spend the whole day squinting. Once you do put on your sunglasses, you'll be annoyed because the earpieces will painfully dig behind your ears as soon as you put on your fleece-lined hat.

But there are so many things I'd never done until I moved here.

I'd never ice skated outside.
I'd never snowmobiled to the middle of a lake and hopped off the snowmobile to walk around.
I'd never gotten my car stuck over and over again attempting to drive around the block.
I'd never had perfect strangers help me unstick my car over and over again.
I'd never pushed a stranger's car out of the snow over and over again.
I'd never walked around a lake lit by luminaries in the middle of the winter.
I'd never driven a snow covered road without a knot in my stomach and terror in my heart.
I'd never made snow angels in the front yard with the man I love.
I'd never stored food on the front porch because it was just as good as being in the freezer.

People ask me all the time why I still live here. Sometimes I ask myself that, too, especially in January and February. But the truth is I live here because I love it here.

$146.79 - Why We Spent That Much on Groceries This Week

$146.79 - That is what we spent at the grocery store on Friday night. That doesn't include the $5.99 we spent at an alternate grocery store buying edible gluten-free bread.

Here is our dinner plan for the week:
Saturday: Meatloaf, baked potatoes, broccoli
Sunday: Leftover meatloaf, baked potatoes, broccoli
Monday: Broccoli and goat cheese frittata with Bisquick biscuits
Tuesday: Vegetarian lasagna
Wednesday: Leftover lasagna
Thursday: Chili
Friday: Chili

Here is our lunch plan for the week:
The boy will bring with him an apple, a sandwich OR a block of cheese and some summer sausage to eat with Nut Thins, nuts, pretzels, Lara bars on his extra long days.
I will eat a piece of fruit, a yogurt, and some sort of protein (cheese, peanut butter, or leftovers from the day before are common).

Here is our breakfast plan for the week:
The boy will eat two of the following three items - Jones sausage links, two eggs, two pieces of toast with a cup of tea and a glass of milk.
I will eat fruit and two mini bagels with peanut butter.

Here's the breakdown of what we spent:
12 pack of Mug root beer: $4.29 (for the boy, not me - empty calories through beverages makes me sad, but he's on a 3000 calorie a day diet, so he takes calories where he can get them)
Gluten-free Bisquick: $3.99
Newman's Own Sausage pasta sauce: $2.89
Hunt's crushed tomatoes: $2.09
Ruffles potato chips: $3.99 (fine, this was for me, but it was playoffs this weekend - a girl is entitled to snack food once a week, damn it)
Blue Diamond almonds: $3.69
Amy's cream of tomato soup (one can): $3.29 (for the chili - not to eat plain because canned soup is the absolutely in disgusting)
Thomas cinnamon raisin mini bagels: $2.99
Chipped walnuts: $3.99
Celestial Seasonings green tea with honey, lemon, and ginseng: $3.19
Strawberry preserves: $4.79
Kitchen Basics chicken stock: $3.15
Kitchen Basics beef stock: $3.05
Kemp's vanilla ice cream: $3.00 (him, not me, of course)
Goat cheese: $4.49
Jone's mild breakfast sausage links x 2: $5.18
Old Wisconsin summer sausage: $6.49
3 pounds ground beef: $9.42
1 pound ground chuck x 2: $4.21/each
Lara cinnamon roll bar: $1.69
Lara cherry pie bar: $1.69
Nature's Bounty Fish Oil pills 1200 MG x2: $15.49 total
Lemon: $0.50
Broccoli: $2.49
Zucchini: $0.44
Idaho potatoes x4: $2.55
Portabella mushroom: $1.21
Onion: $1.28
Garlic: $0.39
Red pepper: $1.05
Italian parsley (improperly rung up on our receipt as cilantro): $0.59
5 pounds clementines: $5.00
Unsalted butter: $3.49
Whole milk: $2.49
1 dozen large eggs: $1.69
Dean's onion dip: $1.99 (but I had a coupon so it was really free)
Jello pudding snacks: $2.50
Yoplait yogurt x9: $0.69 each
Something labeled farm cheese (hmmm...not even sure what that is): $2.69
Cheese sticks: $3.75
2 blocks of sharp cheddar: $2.90 each
Glad cling wrap: $2.90
Charmin toilet paper: $3.39 (if you even dare to suggest we should use one-ply, I will politely ask you to leave my blog)

Could we save money? Sure. I could clip coupons. Frankly, we could have bought a carbonated soft drink that was on sale. We could do more sale shopping. We could buy more generic labels. If I didn't include the brand name, we bought our local generic version. But we don't. Here's why.

1) Most of the items on the above list are gluten-free, with the one except of the mini bagels that I eat for breakfast and are kept in a separate breadbox on top of the fridge, away from any other grocery item. We're not going to get the Ragu/Prego/what's on sale, but we trust that the brand we use will be safe every time for my husband and Newman's Own has the benefits of no high fructose corn syrup in it.

2) I value my time. Attempting to look up coupons for the following items: Amy's tomato soup, Glad cling wrap, Old Wisconsin summer sausage, Yoplait, Dean's dip, and the Bisquick took me ten minutes and netted me only a $1.99 coupon for Dean's dip. I'm pretty sure that's not worth it.

3) We refuse to sacrifice on food. We have talked our budgetary priorities to death in the NGS/Dr. BB household. The truth is that food is important to us. No, we're not the most healthy eaters in the world, but we are careful about what we eat, we meal plan, and each item on the list is carefully thought out and researched.

4) I don't know that we are spending that much. Normally our budget is about $100-$125 dollars a week. This week we spent more than that, but even so, we are feeding each adult in our household on $75 a week. Is that too much? Is that a lot?

5) There are some things that are worth spending money on. I believe that Glad works better than the generic cling wrap, so we spend the extra fifty cents. Kitchen Basics stock is way more expensive than Swanson's, but it's gluten free AND tastes hella better. So, there you have it.

$18

He was an old man. His white beard fell just below his chin, the lines around his eyes were deep, and as he paced back and forth on the curb, his limp was pronounced. Everyone else kept their eyes averted, looking anywhere but at him. He stopped walking and I read the sign he was holding: Please Share.

I liked it. It wasn't a lie; there was no request for funds to travel to see a dying relative, no plea for money for food or to buy clothes for a "new job", and no excuse for the panhandling, but a simple appeal. It's that time of year, right? Peace, love, and understanding.

I looked around. My brand new car, still less than 100 miles on it, my nice warm winter jacket, coming from a part-time job that pays me far more than I'm worth, and I was suddenly worried, ashamed, and disgusted. What kind of world allows the distribution of wealth to be so varied that I can sit there without a care in the world, while this man begs for coins in below freezing weather? Even if that man is not homeless, even if he has chosen to make it his full-time job, as many of our city's panhandler's do, even then, what kind of world is it that forces him to choose that as his job?

In my wallet, I had $18 - a $10 bill, a $5 bill, and 3 $1 bills. I had earmarked the $10 for a treat for myself on my next (hopefully last) trip to the Mall of America (a crepe and an Icee, if you must know specifics). The 3 $1 bills were for this type of situation exactly - people asking for money for the bus, Salvation Army bell ringers, and street people asking for money. The $5 is there because I like to have $5 in my pocket.

I took out my wallet and stared at the contents. I rolled down my window. The old man hobbled over to me. His eyes were cross-eyed and he smelled like liquor. I slowly closed my eyes and counted to three. I held out the $10 bill to him. Have a nice holiday, I said to him as I closed the window, the light changed to green, and I drove away.

I don't know what he'll do with that money and I guess I don't care. It didn't help to alleviate my guilt or shame. It didn't help to put me in the holiday spirit. I just hope it helped that guy make it through one more night.