This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me (Maggie the Undying #1) by Ilona Andrews

Ilona Andrews is a husband and wife writing team. They wrote the Innkeeper Chronicles, an excellent series about an innkeeper attempting to find her family while intergalactic politics keep diverting her from her mission. So when I heard about This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me coming out this year, you better believe I was excited to read it. I listened to the audiobook, which may or may not have been a mistake. 

Maggie, a Texan working multiple jobs to pay the bills, wakes up and finds herself transported to the “fictional” kingdom of Rellas, the setting of her favorite unfinished fantasy trilogy. She finds herself on the streets of Kair Toren, the capital city. She uses her knowledge of the plot of the books to find herself shelter and food, but each time she acts, she changes the future and her knowledge becomes less and less useful. There's a threat to the kingdom and she's attempting to save the realm. Basically, Maggie wakes up in A Song of Ice and Fire and has to avoid being beheaded while meddling in the affairs of royalty. 

Meanwhile, her party is created. There's the hot noble, the mercenaries, the ragamuffin orphan, and the best mage in a generation who had been trapped in a spell created by another mage for years until Maggie came along. The setting is pretty cool, with different creatures and a magic system that is not too well-explained, but doesn't seem to have no rules at all. 

This book was frustrating because the pacing was just off. We spent a really long time figuring out how to get Maggie and some kids out of a dungeon and very little time when the king was nearly assassinated. We spent what seemed like hours talking about scents of soaps and very little about how Maggie is going to pull off being a member of a family when she's never met any of them. If it was going to be like A Song of Ice and Fire, then I needed much more detail. If it was going to be a cozy fantasy, I need way less fighting and serial killers and weapons training. 

So, hey, I might read the sequel. But I might not. 3/5 stars

Lines of note:

I've tried every genre under the sun since, but fantasy was my vice of choice. There was something about blades and magic that did it for me. Deadly sword masters, thieves prowling through moonlit streets, dark magicians, warrior princesses, ruthless nobles, majestic dragons, hideous monsters. I loved it all. Put a hot dude in armor with a sword on the cover and my eyes glazed over while my hand crept to the buy button, budget be damned. (Chapter 1)

I'm less interested in ruthless nobles, but I always want majestic dragons in my books. 

I had been rereading those two books for the last ten years. Whenever life got to be too harsh, I would grab them off my bookshelf and they never failed to pull me out of whatever funk I had going on at the time. (Chapter 1)

Rereading for the win!

I graduated, went to college, grew up, and learned that life wasn't always fair. Sometimes there was no third book, no resolution, no matter how many times you reread or how hard wished for it. (Chapter 9)

Over Labor Day, one of my husband's aunts asked me how things were going. I thought for a minute and said, "it's been tough" and she said "sometimes you have decades like that." I didn't want to hear that, but I was reassured that it's okay if you consistently think that maybe life has it out for you for multiple years in a row. 

...a vendor was selling little beasts that looked like tiny Pomeranians crossed with miniature foxes. (Chapter 18)

I WANT ONE.

...didn't lose his war on the battlefield. He lost it weeks before when he failed to adequately equip his troops, neglected to put together a functioning supply chain, and chose the wrong place and time to engage his enemy...it's no substitute for proper planning and strategy. (Chapter 22)

Nothing like hearing about infrastructure for pages and pages in a book. 

"What did you study?" he asked.

"Power - how to acquire it, how to keep it, how not to abuse it, how to exercise it for the greater good of as many people as possible." (Chapter 22)

Her major was political science. I like her description of it. 

If there was anything a liberal arts education taught you how to do, it was to read a bunch of different sources and vomit all the information in an organized and structured manner. (Chapter 42)

PREACH IT. 

Things I looked up:

 isekai - a popular subgenre of Japanese fantasy and science fiction where a protagonist is transported to, trapped in, or reincarnated into a parallel universe, fantasy realm, or virtual video game

Hat mentions (why hats?):

looked a little like a witch's hat (Chapter 25)

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Did you know the term isekai? Do you enjoy portal fantasies? Do you also want a tiny Pomeranian crossed with a miniature fox?

CBBC Week One: Convenience Store Woman, pages 1-81

Welcome to our first week of reading Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, translated from the Japanese by Ginny Tapley Takemori. 

While this is called Cool Bloggers Book Club, you don't have to be a blogger or cool to participate, although anyone who does participate is automatically cool. I'm happy you are here and making this journey with all of us. As always, the ground rules for CBBC are:

1) Don't apologize. Don't apologize for having a lot or a little to say in the comments. Don't apologize because you're not an expert on something. Don't apologize because you don't have a doctorate in English literature. Don't apologize if you fall behind or can't keep up. Have fun and say what you have to say. You and your thoughts are important. 

2) Feel free to come back and respond to comments more than once! I love it when there's a dialogue in the comments.

3) Have fun reading, thinking about the book, and discussing it! Don't feel limited to my discussion prompts - talk about whatever you feel like talking about.

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Who is Sayaka Murata?

Murata is a Japanese writer best known for the international bestseller Convenience Store Woman (2016) which has been translated into more than thirty languages worldwide. Murata has won many major literary prizes in Japan, including the Gunzo Prize for New Writers in 2003, the Noma Literary New Face Prize in 2009, the Mishima Yukio Prize in 2013, and the Akutagawa Prize for Convenience Store Woman in 2016. In addition to Convenience Store Woman, the novels Earthlings and Vanishing World, the short-story collection Life Ceremony, the short stories "Faith," "Survival," and "A Clean Marriage," as well as the New York Times published opinion piece "The Future of Sex Lives in All of Us" have all been published in English. 

Murata was born in Japan in 1979. Her father was a judge and her mother was a housewife. Murata has said she did not have a happy childhood - "I was starved of love, and that my brain was numbed and anaesthetised. But I was able to play the role of a normal girl." She started writing stories at age 10. As a child, she often read science fiction and mystery novels borrowed from her brother and mother.

Murata worked part-time as a convenience store clerk in Tokyo for eighteen years until 2017. She has lived in Shinjuku, Tokyo since she was a student.

Murata's writing explores the different consequences of nonconformity in society for men and women, particularly with regard to gender roles, parenthood, and sex. Many of the themes and character backstories in her writing come from her daily observations as a part-time convenience store worker.

Murata often places challenging taboos at the forefront of her most popular works. Earthlings focuses on an 11-year-old girl named Natsuki, with her boyfriend and cousin, Yuu, who believe themselves to be aliens due to their tumultuous relationship with their family. The story quickly develops into a harsh tale containing themes of "sexual abuse, murder, and cannibalism." Murata believes that the more she writes about the questioning of these taboos, the closer she will come to the "real truth of things."

If you're want to read more about Murata, this Guardian article is full of revealing statements about her. Consider these two quotes:

Murata herself considers marriage to be “a kind of hostage situation” and motherhood “a curse” that would put an end to her life as a writer. Much of her writing involves imaginative attempts to resolve the biological fatalism of being female with humanity’s need to procreate. Her outlandish near-future fictional worlds are all rooted in the reality of Japan’s declining birth and marriage rates, an increase in young people choosing celibacy, not to mention deeply entrenched misogyny.

For many, Murata has become a left-field feminist icon. “Feminism is desperately needed in Japanese society today,” she says, describing “a hell soup” in which fathers have been given lenient sentences for raping their daughters and feminists receive death threats. “Some say that the worlds I write about are dystopian, but a lot of people think that actually reality is worse.”

AND

“I’ve been told by my doctor not to talk about this too much, but ever since I was a child, I’ve had 30 or 40 imaginary friends who live on a different star or planet with whom I have shared love and sexual experiences.”

I feel like I'd want to go see Muraka do a talk and a reading, but I wouldn't want to have dinner with her afterwards. 

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What happened in these pages?

We meet Keiko Furukura here. She's never really felt like she fit in, like when she was a child and people wanted to bury a dead bird instead of her suggestion of eating it or how horrified people were when she brained a kid with a spade to stop a fight instead of going to get an adult to help. Her parents were good parents, but they didn't really know how to help Keiko. Eventually she developed her own coping strategies for dealing with a world she didn't understand.

...I decided to keep my mouth shut as best I could outside home. I would no longer do anything of my own accord, and would either just mimic what everyone else was doing, or simply follow instructions. (page 10)

"We've got quite similar tastes, haven't we? I like your bag too," Mrs. Izumi said with a smile.

It's only natural that my tastes would match hers since I'm copying her. (page 27)

I'd noticed soon after starting the job that whenever I got angry at the same things as everyone else, they all seemed happy. If I went along with the manager when he was annoyed or joined in the general irritation at someone else skiving off the night shift, there was a strange sense of solidarity as everyone else seemed pleased that I was angry too.

Now, too, I felt reassured by the expression on Mrs. Izumi and Sugawara's faces: Good I pulled off being a "person." (page 29)

Cut to eighteen-year-old Keiko who starts working at a brand new convenience store, Smile Mart. She is SO GOOD at this job. She greets customers, she does market analysis while walking around the neighborhood (construction means more people are going to come to the store, higher temperatures mean they'll sell less soup, etc.), she shows up, she follows instructions, she uses sound cues to figure out what's happening in the store even if she can't see it, and she uses customers' body language to figure out what they need or what they're going to do. This is Keiko's jam. 

The store is short-staffed and hires an awkward, misogynistic, and lazy young man named Shiraha who is quickly fired for shirking work and stalking a customer. 

Despite Keiko's satisfaction with her job, she's been at this store for eighteen years now and the social conformity to get married and/or have a full-time job is real. Since she's never been in a romantic relationship, her friends sometimes think she's gay or asexual. Her sister tries to coach her into responses for what to say when people are shocked that she's still at the convenience store, relying on an excuse that she's somehow too ill or frail to hold a "proper" job, but at a barbecue at her friend Miho's house when Keiko's seeing people she hasn't seen in quite some time, it all boils over.

"You can't go on like this, and deep down you must be getting desperate, no? Once you get past a certain age it'll be too late."

"I can't go on like this? You mean I shouldn't be living the way I am now? Why do you say that?" (page 79)

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Things I looked up:

Irasshaimase (page 2 and many more) - a formal Japanese greeting that means "Welcome" or "Please come in"

Suica (page 3) -  a prepaid, contactless IC (integrated circuit) smart card for public transportation, vending machines, and shopping in Japan

casual worker (page 5) - an employee hired on an as-needed basis without a long-term contract or a guaranteed, fixed schedule

freeter (page 35) - a Japanese term for young individuals—typically aged 15 to 34—who lack full-time employment, work low-paid part-time or temporary jobs, and are not students or housewives

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Lines of note:

Also on the day shift are Iwaki, a tall and lanky university student, and job-hopper Yukishita, who's now found a proper job and will be leaving soon. (page 25)

As much as Keiko likes and as good at her job, she still doesn't consider it a "proper job." The internalized idea that her job is somehow improper is buried deep. 

...I wondered how all his internal organs could fit into such a skinny body. (page 63)

My friend WKR always said this about my husband. She's a very tall lady, well over six feet, and she'd laugh and wonder how they had all the same organs!

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Questions to ponder:

1) Quote #1: I was good at mimicking the trainer's examples and the model video he'd shown us in the back room. It was the first time anyone had ever taught me how to accomplish a normal facial expression and manner of speech. (page 15)

Quote #2: The sensation that the world is slowly dying feels good. (page 39)

Quote #3: The baby started to cry. My sister hurriedly picked him and tried to soothe him. What a lot of hassle I thought. I looked at the small knife we'd used to cut the cake still lying there on the table: if it was just a matter of making him quiet, it would be easy enough. (page 57)

Is Keiko neurodivergent and/or a psychopath? Does she lack empathy, or does she just follow a logic that is different from most people? Do you feel sympathy for Keiko or do you find her unsettling?

2) There are some strange undercurrents at the store - chanting phrases before shifts start and phrases like "we existed only in the service of the convenience store," (page 47) and "I was a faithful disciple to the store" (page 63) - that spring to mind cults or religions. Do you feel like modern organizations (corporations, governments, non-profits) that hire people try to indoctrinate people into a certain belief system? Who does this benefit? Why is Keiko so susceptible to it? 

3) Do you think this is last we've seen of Shihara? Seems crazy to spend so much time on a character who we won't see again. 

4) What do you think is going to happen to Keiko? Do  you think she's going to stay at the store? 

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Homework for you:

How are you reading this book? Paperback, ebook, audiobook? Where are you reading it? If you have a photo of your book (maybe you're reading it on the beach!) you'd like to share with the rest of the group, send it in and I'll make a collage for next week.  Deadline for sending it in to make next week's post is 10/24 by noon central. dominique 100 at hotmail dot com

mbmom11 already did her homework and sent a photo of Iris LOVING the book!

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Upcoming schedule:
Monday, 10/26 - Page 81- end
Monday, 11/2 - Wrap-up

CBWC October 2026: Week 2

It's Cool Bloggers Walking Club (CBWC) time! Hosted by Elisabeth, we're trying for ten minutes of intentional movement every day. Hannah and I continued to do a lot of walks in the dark, but we're still getting out there. 

Friday, October 9 - My best dog and I went for a 45 minute morning walk. The sunrise was gorgeous! We went for another half hour after work and a quick 10 minute spin around the block before bed, too. 

Saturday, October 10 - We went for half an hour in the morning, and Dr. BB joined us for another half hour after lunch. 

Sunday, October 11 - Hannah and I were out for almost an hour this morning. We're having a bit of a second summer and I'm trying to spend as much time outside as I can enjoying wearing sandals and a dress for what I suspect will be the last time for the year. We went out for another half hour after lunch with Dr. BB. 

Monday, October 12 - Almost an hour this morning. We also had a creepy walk around the block before bed - the wind was blowing eerily and the leaves were rustling and falling. It felt like the beginning scene of a horror movie. 

Waiting for us when we got home. Also, we need to paint those window before winter. 

Tuesday, October 13 - Fifty-five minutes this morning, a half hour after work, and around the block before bed. There was lightning in the sky before bed, but Hannah had business to transact and was not happy when I tentatively suggested going in the backyard. YOLO, I guess. We didn't get hit by lightning. 

Wednesday, October 14 - I had a dentist appointment early this morning, so we were only out for about half an hour this morning. I also walked to the library and back after work and Hannah and I did another fifteen minutes before bed. 

Thursday, October 15 - Fifty minutes this morning.  Check out the leaves that fell overnight. We did 16 minutes after work in the rain and another ten around the block before bed. We're both practicing being brave on some of these walks. One of us is much braver than the other. 

Bonus photo: Somehow this scared the absolute bejesus out of both of us. We are weak and foolish.

Any scary decorations on your walks? Who was your favorite walking partner this past week? 

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

My friend L suggested we read House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski for our book club. I knew as soon as I picked all 700+ pages up from the library that this had been a mistake. There were pages that looked this

and pages that looked like this

There were footnotes nested within footnotes. There were pages where you had to spin the book around to see what was going on. Every single reference to a house in this book was a different font colored blue. So there's like three or four stories going on in this book. I'll try to explain it, but if it sounds confusing, imagine reading it. 

A filmmaker makes a story about a haunted house. Let's call that the Navidson Record storyline. A man named Zampanò starts writing about the house, collecting evidence and interviews and creating a document about what went on in that house. Unfortunately, Zampanò dies and a young man named Johnny Truant picks up where he stopped by writing an introduction and notes. Meanwhile, there's an omniscient "editor" who occasionally makes comments on Johnny's notes.

And we slow watch the slow descent into madness of everyone - everyone at the house, Zampanò , and, maybe most noticeably, Johnny. 

There's a fair amount of disagreement about what this novel actually is. Is it just a book about a haunted house? Is it a psychological thriller? Is it about the danger of obsession? With its layer upon layer of unreliable narrator, is it just 700 pages saying that nothing is real? All houses are the same house and no house is safe? I don't know the answer.

Our book club discussion about this book was so good because there is no one interpretation. And we kept picking up different lines that we thought were clues. Not just one person actually carefully examined the copyright page looking for helpful hints. When's the last time you read a copyright page? 

Friends. It's fascinating. But I will say that I'm also super confused by it, which is the purpose, I think. I also think we should maybe look in on Mark Z. Danielewski and make sure he's doing okay. 

4/5 stars

Lines of note:

I'd been in the throes of looking for an apartment after a little difficulty with a landlord who woke up one morning convinced he was Charles de Gaulle. I was so stunned by this announcement that before I could think twice I'd already told him how in my humble estimation he did not at all resemble an airport though the thought of a 757 landing on him was not at all disagreeable. I was promptly evicted. (page xi)

This was the very first page of the book and I have to admit that this smartassness made me snort out loud. 

While in the past, live footage was limited to the aftermath - the oral histories given by survivors or photographs taken by pedestrians - these days the proliferation of affordable video cameras and tapes has created more of an opportunity for someone to record a plane wreck or bank robbery as it is actually taking place...

By now it is common knowledge that Flaherty recreated certain scenes in Nanook for the camera. Similar accusations have been made against shows like America's Funniest Home Videos. For the most part, professionals in the field do their best to police, or at least critique, the latest films, well aware that to lose the public's trust would mean the death rattle for an already besieged art form. (page 140)

Egads. This was published in 2000. Can you even imagine what it would be like now in the age of AI?

In 1990 in The New York Times, Andy Grundberg wrote: "In the future, readers of newspapers and magazines will probably view news pictures more as illustrations than as reportage, since they will be well aware that they can no longer distinguish between a genuine image and one that has been manipulated. Even if news photographers and editors resist the temptations of electronic manipulation, as they are likely to do, the credibility of all reproduced images will be diminished by a climate of reduced expectations. In short, photographs will not seem as real as they once did." (page 141)

Ahem. 

King: Symbols shmimbols. Sure they're important but...Well look at Ahab's whale. Now there's a great symbol. Some say it stands for god, meaning, and purpose. Others say it stands for purposelessness and the void. But what we sometimes forget is that Ahab's whale was also just a whale. (page 361)

Moby-Dick! I'm here for a Moby-Dick sighting in the wild!

Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. (page 527)

Sheesh. 

Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes. The violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body. (page 543)

I loved this little bit in which someone gets too detailed about language. In our house, we often talk about how words matter, how symbolism is sometimes the only thing that matters, and how nuanced you have to me at times to get your true meaning across. This paragraph tickled me. 

For those of you who are interested in my "process," it's basically just notes written on random pieces of paper, and Hannah's vet invoices. This book made me feel like a crazy person.

Things I looked up:

nom de guerre (page xii) -  is a pseudonym or "war name" used to disguise a person's real identity, commonly adopted by soldiers, fighters, revolutionaries, or dissidents

deracinated (page xvi) - pulled up by the roots or separated from one's native culture, homeland, or social environment

rebellion on the 1973 Skylab mission (page xx, 137) - This is a bit of an urban legend. During this mission, there were a lot of rookies and they had tight schedules. This led to a period of time of roughly a day in which communications were limited (non-existent) with mission control. It wasn't really a mutiny - more of a miscommunication. Regardless, there was then a conversation with mission control that led to a rescheduled workload. 

Maginot Line (page xx) -  a massive system of advanced concrete and steel fortifications built by France along its border with Germany during the 1930s to prevent a direct invasion

Joel-Peter Witkin (page xxi) - an American photographer who lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico. His work often deals with themes such as death, corpses (and sometimes dismembered portions thereof), often featuring ornately decorated photographic models, including people with dwarfism, transgender and intersex persons, as well as people living with a range of physical features

Kirlian photography (page 3) - a high-voltage contact photography technique that captures luminous corona discharges around objects placed in a strong electric field

Ted Serios' thoughography (page 3) - Chicago bellhop known for his production of "thoughtographs" on Polaroid film. He claimed these were produced using psychic powers.

Alexander Gardner's photograph of the Union dead (page 3) - Gardner wrote poignant narratives to accompany his photographs, occasionally inventing stories to make his point. In his Sketch Book, Gardner used two photographs of these dead soldiers, identifying them first as Confederate and then as Union.

amaurotic (page 21) - n adjective that means relating to or affected by amaurosis, which is a partial or total loss of sight without any visible physical damage or injury to the eye

camera lucida (page 27) - an optical device used by artists and scientists to superimpose a ghost image of a real-world subject onto a drawing surface so it can be accurately traced

talaria (page 44) - manufactures high-performance, lightweight electric dirt bikes known for instant torque, quiet gear drives, and low-maintenance off-road maneuverability.

aphonia (page 58) - is the medical term for the total loss of voice, where a person cannot speak above a whisper or produce any voiced sound at all

footnote 75 (pages 64-67) - Looking this up is when I discovered that this book has its own subreddit. This footnote contains a list of over 700 names of visual artists. There is a debate in this subreddit about whether or not there is a code in this list. 

Khumbu Icefall (page 68) - a treacherous, constantly moving section of the Khumbu Glacier on Mount Everest, located between Base Camp (5,364 meters / 17,598 feet) and Camp 1 (5,900 meters / 19,357 feet)

serac (page 68) - a large block or column of glacial ice formed by intersecting crevasses on a moving glacier

Margaretha Geertruida Zelle (page 69) - , better known by her stage name Mata Hari, was a Dutch exotic dancer and courtesan executed by a French firing squad for spying during World War I. It literally never occurred to me that Mata Hari was a stage name, but OF COURSE IT WAS.

piton (page 81) -  a metal spike or peg driven into rock or ice cracks with a hammer to serve as an anchor or handhold during mountain climbing

anfractuosity (page 115) - the state of being full of twists, turns, windings, or intricate channels

atrabilious (page 122) - gloomy, melancholic, or persistently irritable

Nupart Jhunisdakazcriddle (page 125) - fictional author created by MZD for this insane novel 

footnote 182 (page 139-141) - list of documentary filmmakers

aporias (page 143) - an expression of real or feigned doubt, or a logical impasse and philosophical puzzle that defies resolution

Pink Dot (page 149) - a quick delivery prepared-to-order grocery store based on the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, California

muntin (page 231) - narrow strip of wood, metal, or vinyl that divides a single window sash or door into a grid of smaller glass panes

postils (page 265) - collections of sermons or explanatory commentaries on scriptural readings arranged for the church year

gamboge (page 313) -  a deep, luminous golden-yellow gum-resin extracted from Garcinia trees native to Southeast Asia, particularly Cambodia

Floyd Collins in the Kentucky Sand Cave in 1925 (page 334) - an American cave explorer who became trapped and died in what became Mammoth Cave National Park. On January 30, 1925, while working to enlarge a small passage in Sand Cave, Collins became trapped in a narrow crawlway 55 feet (17 m) below ground. The rescue operation to save him became a national media sensation and one of the first major news stories to be reported using the new technology of broadcast radio. After four days, during which rescuers were able to bring water and food to Collins, a rock collapse in the cave closed the entrance passageway, stranding him inside, except for voice contact, for another 10 days. Collins died of thirst and hunger, compounded by exposure through hypothermia after being isolated for a total of 14 days, three days before a rescue shaft reached his position. Collins's body was recovered two months later.

rebarbative (page 339) -  is an adjective that means repellent, unattractive, or causing irritation and annoyance

Lhotse Face (page 344) - a steep, 1,125-meter (3,690-foot) wall of glacial blue ice on the western flank of Lhotse that climbers must scale to reach the South Col on Mount Everest

semiotician (page 349) - an expert who studies how signs, symbols, and cultural codes create and communicate meaning

Artaud (page 361) - Antoine Maria Joseph Paul Artaud, better known as Antonin Artaud, was a French artist who worked across a variety of media. He is best known for his writings, as well as his work in the theatre and cinema

Kevin Carter's 1994 Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph of a vulture preying on a tiny Sudanese girl (page 368, FN 336) - The Vulture and the Little Girl, also known as The Struggling Girl, is a photograph by Kevin Carter which first appeared in The New York Times on March 26, 1993. It is a photograph of a frail famine-stricken boy, mistakenly believed to be a girl until 2011, who had collapsed in the foreground with a hooded vulture eyeing him from nearby. The child was reported to be attempting to reach a United Nations feeding center about a half mile away in Ayod, Sudan (now South Sudan), in March 1993, and allegedly survived the incident. The picture won the Pulitzer Prize for Feature Photography award in 1994. The photographer died by suicide four months after winning the prize.

(I'd put the photo here, but it's NSFL, if you know what I mean.)

Homer Simpson's brother Herbert (page 371) - It's his half-brother. He's voiced by Danny DeVito. You know, there's just a lot of Simpsons lore I just don't know. 

Gabriel Langfeldt (page 379) - a Norwegian psychiatrist whose research centered on schizophrenia and forensic medicine. He was involved as an expert during the trial against Hamsun (Nazi writer), and wrote a book about Quisling (Nazi collaborator).

The curse tree, the ghost of Miss Evelyn Byrd, Lady Ann Skipwith, ghost alley... (page 409)

    Curse tree: In Jamestown, local legend, carried forth by a caretaker named Sam Robinson, states that the tree grew between two lovers, Sarah Harrison and James Blair; it pushed their graves far apart, all at the behest of Sarah’s mother.  

    Evelyn Byrd: Evelyn Byrd was the elder daughter of of William Byrd II and his first wife Lucy Parke. When she was 18, Evelyn was sent to London and presented at court, and sometime thereafter, she fell in love with a Englishman, some say a Catholic. Her father, William Byrd II, disapproved of the match AND brought his daughter home to Virginia, where she died of a broken heart. Since her death, she has made a number of appearances around her family’s old plantation in Charles City County, often dressed in white. A gentle specter, she is reported to drift about in a quiet way without scaring anybody.

    Lady Ann Skipwith: Maybe she committed suicide after learning about her husband's infidelity? Maybe she died in childbirth? She's said to haunt Whythe House in Williamsburg. 

    ghost alley: "Ghost Alley" in Virginia is the local nickname for Matthews Lane at Fort Monroe National Monument in Hampton, a historic military site known for frequent sightings of a spectral "Lady in White"

bartizan (page 437) -  a small, overhanging turret that projects from the wall or corner of a medieval castle or fortification

goraks (page 466) - level 145 melee monsters in Old School RuneScape and RuneScape

ecdysiast (page 511) - formal or facetious term for a striptease performer or exotic dancer

Ohio bed (page 519) - I cannot figure this out. What is it? Like a crib? A toddler bed? 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

black cowboy hats (page 12)

cowboy hat (page 13, 14)

Make no mistake about it: over here his kind enter a bar with a smile and leave with a barstool for a hat. (FN 90, page 83)

...equipped with Hi 8s, down parkas, hats, Gortex gloves, powerful halogen lamps...

ever present hat (page 144)

fella in the white hat (page 324)

wool hat (page 403)

hat tip to anarchy (page 466)

hard hats (page 505)

woolen hat (page 527)

Petitgas hat store (page 575)

Putting out his hat (page 579)

insiDe the hat (page 622 - capitalization intentional)

kettles hat hops (page 633)

hat (in the index, page 678)

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Who's in to ergodic literature like this? Do you know what an Ohio bed is? Do you think this would be a good book club selection? 

Wednesday! Wednesday!

Because I'm doing CBWC updates on Fridays, my usual excuse to give you updates in a Five by Friday post doesn't exist, so I'm taking today to give you some life updates.

1) Elisabeth posted a fun post about names (do you like your name? do you go by a nickname? your middle name?). While I was writing a novel in her comment section - boy, don't we all love to talk about our names? - I came to a somewhat disturbing conclusion.

I like my first name a lot. My middle name is boring, but I think it sounds great with my first name, so I'll allow it. But my last name. Oomph.

When I got married, I did not change my name. There are good reasons for this - professional, political, and social. Dr. BB and I took an afternoon off from work and went to the Hennepin County Courthouse to get our marriage license. We had to put the names we were going to use after the wedding on this form and I realized that we had not once talked about it. Dr. BB comes from a Catholic family. They go to church every week and take communion, but they aren't the types of Catholics who want mass to be in Latin or for women to wear chapel veils, right? 

I looked up at him in panic. "I'm not going to change my name." 

"I never thought you were."

And that, my friends, cemented that I was getting a good guy.

But now. My last name is the name of my father. The name of my father's family. And as my relationship with my family of origin gets more and more strained, I have this name. 

I still think the reasons for keeping my name are sound. But sometimes I wonder why I didn't take this fabulous man's (and his family's) name. This has been hard to think about. 

2) Speaking of his fabulous family, do you remember my nephew who I was helping with the ACT? Well, he took the test in April and his score improved, but he took it again in September and NOW HE HAS A 30. I'm just so chuffed and proud of him.

3) My friend Rob (he has no idea who I am) said in his 60 Songs That Explain the 90s: The 2000s podcast episode ostensibly about Lee Ann Womack's song "I Hope You Dance," but was really somehow about The Blues Brothers and Dolly Parton, that "Jolene" is the quintessential Dolly song. I mean, I don't know that I disagree, but then Dr. BB and I had a discussion about Dolly's top five.

"9 to 5"

"Jolene"

"Coat of Many Colors"

Now I have some thoughts. Personal favorites of mine include "Romeo," "Islands in the Stream," "The Grass is Blue," and "Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That," but I think there are some strong arguments for "Hard Candy Christmas," "I Will Always Love You," "Joshua," and "Rockin' Years." 

ANYWAY. What's your Top Five Dolly list?

4) It's my bi-annual insanity time at work in which priority registration is just around the corner and this is what my work calendar looks like. 

Don't worry. It doesn't usually look like this. But if I seem a bit distracted, you'll know why!  (I have a periodontist appointment this morning. I have had that time blocked off for six months.)

5) Gentle reminder that our read of Convenience Store Woman for CBBC starts on Monday! I can't wait to hear what you all think of the first half of the book. 

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Does anyone else have podcast host "friends"? What's in your Top Five Dolly songs? 

The Nightingales by Emil Wilson

Friends! Have I got a real find for you! When the Sarah's Bookshelves podcast had on an Amazon editor, I basically bookmarked every book she recommended because if it's good enough for Amazon masses, it's probably good enough for me. Look, I'm a basic literary bitch with a dash of dragons. When she talked about The Nightingales by Emil Wilson, I ordered it even though I'm not really a graphic novel kinda gal. 

This is a pseudo true tale. When Wilson, newly out to his parents, left for college, his father invited a co-worker to come live with his parents and sister, Lou. This man is ill with "gay cancer," but he and Lou develop a close relationship despite all their differences. This book blew me away. I laughed, I cried, and I thought really hard.

Plus, there are two Pomeranians who are major characters AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN CUTER GRAPHIC NOVEL ART THAN THIS?

Pages 42-43

Look at this photo of everyone eating around the dinner table and the dogs! Can you see the dogs?

Pages 132-133

This book was heartbreaking. But the art was wonderful. And I loved how truly real the characters were.

Page 252

Also, I finished this book in about an hour at the dining room table. I started it after dinner, thinking I'd just read a few pages and the next thing I knew, it was time to walk the dog. I was riveted and just got lost in this world.

Two thumbs up. Perfection. No notes. Run to your library or bookstore to get this one. 5/5 stars

Things I looked up:

Sidney Sheldon (page 242) -  an American writer who was prominent in the 1940s and 50s, first working on Broadway plays, and then in motion pictures, notably writing the successful comedy The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer, which earned him an Oscar in 1948. He went on to work in television.

James Michener (page 242) - an American writer who wrote more than 40 books, most of which were long, fictional family sagas covering the lives of many generations, set in particular geographic locales and incorporating detailed history. He was also known for the meticulous research that went into his books

Hat mentions (why hats?):

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Has anyone read this? Do you think those two dogs are the cutest? Do you generally read graphic novels or graphic memoir? If you're not a graphic novel person, hear me out - you should start with this one and Wake. They're SO GOOD. 

The Amalfi Curse by Sarah Penner

My book club read The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner in 2021. I remember it being a book club in the COVID era where we met in someone's garage - hey, is this just a Midwestern thing where people have giant garages and people hang out in them? - and it got sort of mixed reviews, but I thought it was okay and I like how it made me think about how easy it has been to erase the lives and names of women in history. So I picked up The Amalfi Curse to fulfill the Pop Sugar Reading Challenge prompt about making me want to travel to Italy. It would have to be an amazing book to make me want to travel internationally, but I gave it the old college try. 

As in the other Penner novel I've read, there are two timelines here. In one timeline, we have women who live in the village of Positano and they protect their village with magic. 

They were streghe del mare—sea witches—with unparalleled power over the ocean. (location 136)

In another timeline we have a nautical archeologist named Haven who travels to Positano with two missions - to learn more about the numerous shipwrecks off its coast, but also to find gems that her father had discovered on his last dive. 

It's a bit historical mystery - Haven spends so much time in the archives! It's a bit magical realism. It's a bit romance. It's a bit backstabbing academia. 

It's also boring. Our historical sea witch is vaguely interesting, but Penner seems to want to spend more time with children and men and certainly not enough time on the ocean magic. And Haven? What a snoozefest. Penner neglected to give her a back story beyond having dead father - not even showing me how closer they were - so I don't understand her motivations or decision making. 

Maybe this would work for you, but it didn't for me. 2/5 stars

Things I looked up:

belemnite fossil (location 119) - the preserved internal skeleton of an extinct, squid-like marine creature (Belemnitida) that lived from the Late Triassic to the Late Cretaceous periods (roughly 201 to 66 million years ago)

Tyrrhenian Sea (location 1829) - part of the Mediterranean Sea off the western coast of Italy

millegrain (location 2759) - a jewelry-making technique that adds a continuous border of tiny, uniform metal beads along the edges of a setting, band, or gemstone bezel

tramontana (location 3372) - a cold, dry, strong northerly wind blowing across the Mediterranean and Italy

ubriaco (location 3548) - a traditional, firm cow's milk cheese from the Veneto region of Italy whose wheels are soaked in wine, grape must, or pomace. This sounds revolting. 

Aiutami (location 3597) - this means "help me" in Italian

Hat mentions (why hats?):

dark green hat (location 1370)

dressed in men’s attire, with their hair tucked up in hats (location 2124)

The brim of my hat mussed up his hair (location 2877)

Pulling the brim of my hat down (location 2933)

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Do you want to learn more about ocean magic? Do you want to go to Italy?