Weekend Roundup

Friday during the day, I put my nose to the grindstone and got my work inbox from over 260 emails to under 30. I felt like confetti should have rained from the sky. Alas, it did not. 

Friday after work my friend Gina and I went to a Paint & Sip at a local art shop that is located in the same space as our new bookstore. Gina accidentally drank the paint water and I accidentally painted my water bottle, but we made it out alive.

Now, neither of us are artists. We are lovely human beings and we have a lot of strengths, including being great humans to a dog and a cat, holding big girl jobs, and paying taxes. But I will send out a delightful prize (to be determined) to the first person who correctly identifies who or what exactly we painted here in the comments. 

Yes, I hope everyone notices that I'm wearing LAYERS and REAL SHOES because that is the bullshit that is living in Wisconsin. The next weekend I'm home I'm going to have to put away my summer dresses and bring out my stupid cold weather wardrobe. 

Moving on. Saturday my husband went to visit a sick friend who lives in Madison. While he did that, I went to Sephora and World Market. I don't remember the last time I meandered around a store without a specific mission - maybe when Joann's was going out of business? Well, here's what I do. I look at an item, come up with a price for what I would pay for it in my mind, and then when the price tag says anywhere from twice to five times that price, I immediately laugh at myself for thinking this is 2002 and leave the store without buying anything.

The popcorn advent calendar was $45. Forty-five American dollars, yo. No, thank you. 

Then we went to Costco, but the less said about that the better.  I wish it were closer so we could go on a non-Saturday. (We can't go on Sunday because the pharmacy isn't open on Sunday.)

Sunday I packed my bags and Dr. BB drove me to the airport. Now I'm in Philadelphia, which is a real city, yo. I guess in my mind all the cities in Pennsylvania are like Pittsburgh, which more of a large town. ANYWAY. I managed to get myself from the airport to the hotel on the train and didn't make a single wrong turn getting to my hotel. Then I went out to dinner and meandered around for a bit before heading back to the hotel because, friends, fall HAS not hit Philly yet and I was dressed for 60s and rainy (what it was when I left Madison) and it was almost 80 here. I was sweating like a stadium beer is what I'm saying. 

Mural on the train station exit. 

Not a bad view from my hotel room. 

Public art!

I'm pretty sure my camera lens was messed up. Will try again for a crisper photo tomorrow night. 

Just a quick reminder that you should vote for the next CBBC book if you have not done so already. Just fill out this Google form. At first, there was such a runaway winner that I ordered one of the books from the bookstore, but it's a really tight race now. The scores are 39, 40, and 41, which is SHOCKINGLY close. The form will close on Thursday or whenever I get around to looking at the results when I get back into town. 

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Okay, who or what did Gina and I paint? There is a great prize at stake here. Have you ever been to Philly? Why wasn't I aware of the fact that it's a real city? 

Five for Friday, Edition #50: The Good and Bad of Our Four-Legged Friends

There's a lot (too much?) of capslock in this post. I'm just warning you. If you don't want to watch me go off the rails in real typing time, maybe skip this post. 

1) Remember that adorable fawn with its mom? Well, the fawn is no longer in the picture and the doe has taken to sitting under our pine tree drooling. She's skin and bones and is not even remotely moved when Hannah lunges and barks at her, so we're pretty sure she has CWD (don't click that link if you don't want to be sad). It's not a good scene. The DNR thanked us for calling, but told us to the call our local police, who politely told us to fuck off. So, hey, if next week there's an update about a dead deer in our yard, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MY REACTION. (NOTE: She hasn't been in our yard for about 24 hours. I am hoping she went off and died in an appropriate deer dying place, LIKE THE WOODS.)

2) Speaking of, we think something died in our basement and it smells repulsive. We cannot figure out WHAT died, though, OR WHERE IT IS, so if you come to our house, now it smells like dog shit AND dead animal. WELCOME TO THE GIMBALSH HOUSEHOLD, HERE'S SOME queaseEASE. (I don't think this is actually true, but who the hell knows? I'm nose blind to the house at this point. Who wants to volunteer to come visit and tell me?)

3) I hit a ground squirrel on the way to work this morning. Am I sad about this? YES. There was also a dead squirrel in front of the sidewalk two doors down earlier this week and Hannah now thinks that when we get to that sidewalk square, we need to walk ten feet into the yard to avoid it. She is so smart that she was trained to do that on only two walks, isn't she? 

She is all nose. 

4) Life hack: Some months ago, we switched kitty litters to Lightweight Tidy Cats after years of using the cheapest 40 pound bag I could get at the local pet store. THIS HAS BEEN LIFE CHANGING. It's less dusty, less stinky, and when I spill it, it doesn't require every single muscle in my upper body to clean it up. I strongly prefer the scent free versions; there are Glade versions that I think are sort of gross - do you want your cat poop to be covered up with the artificial scent of an ocean with dead fish? Anyway. Do you have a cat? Does it use litter? Consider lightweight litter. Pro tip from me to you.

Collage of bad photos I have taken of my pretty kitty. She refuses to look at the camera when I take out my phone. She's like a sulky teen. I'm particularly fond of the one where she's cuddling scissors and earbuds. 

5) Life hack: Make homemade capsules for the bitter powder your dog has to take for the rest of her life. Remember Hannah's GI issues? Well, the vet has given up on trying to treat whatever the underlying cause of it is. Apparently some dogs, MOSTLY SHEPHERDS, OF COURSE, are just on this medication all the time. So now Hannah's in that club. Anyway, we bought some 1000 (ONE THOUSAND) empty capsules, fancy tweezers to hold said capsules, and now we have an assembly line of pill making once a month. DON'T YOU WISH YOU LIVED WITH US?

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Random things I need to tell of you.

1) I'm going to be out of town for a conference next week, so I'll be MIA. Am I looking forward to this conference? Absolutely not. But I might get to see my cousin, so that's all right. Oh, if you happen to be in Philly on Monday morning, let me know. I have nothing on my calendar right now. I'm not opposed to sleeping in, to be honest. 

2) What is this complete and utter bullshit? TREES ARE ALREADY CHANGING. I HAD TO WEAR REAL SHOES ON TUESDAY BECAUSE IT WAS TOO COLD FOR SANDALS. Bring back summer! Boo to fall! Next year I'm moving to Belize. (I am not moving to Belize.)

3) I don't remember the third thing. It's probably for the best.

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Any news from four-legged creatures in your life? Are the leaves changing where you live? How do you feel about that? Are you going to be in Philadelphia early next week?

Sea of Charms (Spellshop #3) by Sarah Beth Durst

The Spellshop
The Enchanted Garden

Cozy fantasy is NOT an easy genre to write. It is hard to write about something with actual stakes, but that doesn't seem like TOO many stakes, if you know what I mean? There has to be some conflict, but not enough that the reader is actually worried in the Ned Stark is about to lose his head sort of way. Legends and Lattes was quite good, but the follow-up was a snooze. People recommend the Monk and Robot series for cozy fantasy and, while I do like Becky Chambers a lot, maybe the first book was a little too cozy for me? I think Sarah Beth Durst is actually quite good at it. Sea of Charms is the third book in the Spellshop series and if you're looking for something to distract you from reality, these books are just the thing.

Marin is a sailor. She runs supplies from island to island in an attempt to pay off the debt her parents took on to help pay for her boat after Marin had a broken engagement. Suddenly, she has a crew of a talking plant and this composer named Dax who is fleeing from the war-torn city of Alyssium. She has a pet sea serpent. A PET SEA SERPENT. Can they pay off her parents' debt? Can they safely escape the danger from the war? 

OF COURSE THEY CAN. THIS IS COZY FANTASY.

I don't think Dax is as good a male lead as the grumpy gardener in the second book, but not every book has to be grumpy/sunshine to parallel my own real life. 

I love the world Durst is creating. I love how simple everything is in these books. 

Do I want every book I ever read to be like this? No, of course not. But as a diversion as I'm going to bed, I absolutely do want it. 

4/5 stars

Lines of note:

Sure, the city was lovely, in the same way that a many-tiered cake covered in fondant and spun sugar seemed lovely if you didn’t know it had been baked with fish inside. It soured if you sniffed too hard. (location 182)

“People think pleasure is the source of happiness. I have found that it is not. It is purpose. Purpose and passion.” (location 5627)

Hat mentions (why hats?):

he wore a stiff box-shaped hat on top of slicked-down hair (location 5340)

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Are you a cozy fantasy fan? What's your favorite in the genre? What's your favorite mythical creature? 

We Were Forbidden by Jacqueline Harpman, translated by Ros Schwartz

Since I read I Who Have Never Known Men, I've wanted to dig into Harpman's catalog a little bit. We Were Forbidden is a new translation of three short stories written by Harpman.

In the first story, a woman and her fellow survivors wander around a woods after having been conscripted to the military in a war, a war they haven't heard any news about in years. Is the war still ongoing? Can they leave the woods? As their clothing falls apart and their ammunition stores dwindle, what is going to happen to this group?

There's a mini-series on An Old Timey Podcast in which they talk about Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese soldier ordered to lead guerilla warfare missions on Lubang Island in the Philippines. He was told to never surrender, so when he received word that World War II had ended, Hiroo was certain that the message was a trick. He kept fighting until 1974 – nearly 29 years after the war ended.

This short story made me think of Onoda. It's probably the strongest story in the collection.

The second story is based on Harpman's childhood, when she and her family fled to Morocco in light of the invasion of Nazi troops. In this story, the main character is punished severely for ideas she doesn't share with the Moroccans. It was also zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The last story was confusing, but fascinating. The main character is an author and, as she's going about her daily life, she starts inventing a story and characters in her head. So it's a bit unsettling because you're going from "real" life to the invented life. Honestly, it's one of the best things I've read about the writing process. Most books on writing don't actually touch on how ideas happen - they focus on butt in seat and hours at craft - but this short story really did seem to talk about the creative process in a way that felt real. 

As with most short story collections, I thought the stories varied in strength, but I'm glad I read this. Plus, it's only 90 pages long, so I finished this in an evening after dinner!

4/5 stars

Line of note:

I hadn't understood that there are moments in history when noble sentiments prevail over common sense...I had naivety and reason but no tact. It didn't occur to me that an argument that was well-founded could be controversial. (page 30)

I know this is just because of the anniversary of 9/11 recently, but I remember being so vehemently against the PATRIOT Act and it seemed like everyone around thought I had lost my mind. I was not tactful about what I thought about the government and sort of missed the memo on blind patriotism at that time in history. 

Things I looked up:

humus (page 12) - dark, organic material that forms in soil when plant and animal matter decays

Giorgione's Young Man with Arrow (page 57) -  an Italian Renaissance oil on panel painting created by Giorgione in 1505. It lives at the Kunsthistorisches Museum in Vienna. 

Gros's Bonaparte at the Pont d'Arcole (page 57) - an oil-on-canvas painting executed in 1796 by the French artist Antoine-Jean Gros. It depicts an episode during the Battle of Arcole in November 1796, with General Napoleon Bonaparte leading his troops to storm the bridge. It is housed at the Palace of Versailles.

the plot of Madame Bovary (page 76) - Emma Bovary marries Charles, a fairly dull doctor. Emma's bored with her staid middle-class life and to escape this life, she has affairs with local men and runs up massive debts buying luxury items. When her lovers refuse to help her pay what she owes and her creditors close in, she kills herself by swallowing arsenic. Her heartbroken husband dies soon after discovering her betrayal, leaving their young daughter to an impoverished life. Oof. Sounds sad. 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

broad-brimmed black hat (page 56, 72, and 73)

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How do you feel about short story collections? Have you ever read one where all the stories were a hit? 

Cool Bloggers Book Club (CBBC) Edition #7: The Vote

Previous CBBC books:

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn
My Brilliant Friend 
I Capture the Castle
The Blue Castle

The Joy Luck Club

The Age of Innocence

According to my still non-existent editorial calendar, we're doing another round of Cool Bloggers Book Club (CBBC) next month! I have winnowed down the book selection to three books and now you, my friends, are going to vote on what you think is the best option. How did I choose these books? When I was in Indianapolis with TJC, we spent an inordinate amount of time discussing books I would pick for the next CBBC vote.  Here's the theme: non-American authors. 

You do not have to be cool or a blogger to participate, although I'd argue you're cool just by being here. 

Now that we're done with all this introductory nonsense, let's get to the vote. 

Option #1: I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman (1995, 173 pages) - What would it be like to live in a world without men? A meditative book about what it means to be human and what we continue living for. 

Option #2: The Vegetarian by Han Kang (2007, 158 pages) - A woman has nightmares and decides to stop eating meat. This leads to disturbing cascading events at home.

Options #3: Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata ( 2016, 163 pages) - Keiko is very happy with her job at a convenience store, but it seems like the rest of the world isn't happy for her. 

Those are the options. You can try to lobby fellow readers to your favorites in the comments, but your actual vote will be cast at this Google form. I am asking for you to rank order your choices from your most preferred to least preferred book. You do not actually need to be a blogger to participate in CBBC, but you should probably at least occasionally read this blog. I'll leave the form up until Wednesday, September 23 and then I'll tabulate the votes and post the schedule soon thereafter. 

Sound off in the comments!

Habits of the Sea by Shea Ernshaw

Habits of the Sea by Shea Ernshaw is a weird little story.

Clay Lockhart's wife and son die in childbirth on a stormy night. During this storm, Clay's house and the eight hectares of land surrounding it break off from Scottish coast in the wake of his grief. This island becomes legend, as people very occasionally see it, but no one ever goes to the island itself. Twelve-year-old Ellie Mills finds the island herself one night in a storm and Clay sends her back on her way. But time goes by differently on the island and what was a couple of hours for Ellie was weeks back at Ellie's home in Nova Scotia. 

Thirty-year-old Ellie hears about a sighting of the island and she goes in search of it. What happens next? 

Here's what I learned from this book. If my husband and I were stranded on a floating island in the ocean and we had to somehow survive with what we had in our house and our land, we would die. That's all. 

Clay didn't even have a dog or a cat with him! He's all alone for decades. I like my alone time, but wouldn't you go absolutely crazy? Like...batshit? 

Some people compare this to Wild Dark Shore, but I think it's better than that (I DNFed WDS). I mean, I bought into the magical element of the wandering island and time slowing. I wanted to read it and find out what would happen to these two fools. I wanted to know if Ellie would ever figure out what was right for her life. I  thought the author did a nice job of not making Clay look like a creep since he first met Ellie when she was a tween. 

I liked this one. I didn't LOVE it, but I did want to know how things ended up. 3.5/5 stars

Line of note:

Some part of me knows he's too good, too perfect for me - and it makes me wary. Suspicious. Not of him, but of life. Like I've always known I don't deserve him. (page 22)

But we all feel way, right? Asking for a friend.

Thing I looked up:

snell (page 1) - chiefly Scottish, meaning quick or acute (a snell wind or a snell storm)

Hat mention (why hats?):

thick hats (page 205)

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Would you want to be alone on an island by yourself? Without another person, dog, or cat? 

Lady Tremaine by Rachel Hochhauser

There was so much love for Lady Tremaine by Rachel Hochhauser on the interwebz that I finally caved and got it from the library. 

Etheldreda is a two-time widow. She lives with her daughters and her stepdaughter in a crumbling mansion with only a couple of incredibly loyal servants. Etheldreda believes in keeping up appearances because if her daughters can marry well, their problems will be solved. So when there's a ball to introduce people to the very eligible prince, she's pumped when all three girls get to go. But we soon learn all is not right with the kingdom. 

This is a take on the Cinderella tale from the POV of the stepmother. It was interesting, but really just made me think everyone in the story was terrible. Surely there are good people out there? One of the key features of Cinderella is that Cindy is truly kind and hardworking (I mean, at least in the Disney version I'm familiar with). In this book she's lazy and entitled and it feels like it's truly a different story. I mean, obviously the stepmother would have a different view of Cinderella than Cinderella herself, but the character is completely different. 

So. Hm.

It really is a good look at how, for most of human history, women's fates have been determined by the men in their lives. It's a look at the most genteel of survival. 

But, to be honest, Etheldreda isn't evil enough for me here. 3/5 stars

Lines of note:

One had to have a shell, or at least the projection of one, for protection. For the sake of presentability, all our lives were a performance. (page 7)

I had once heard a sculptor compare his children to marble. He said, like stone, their future shape lingers inside of them, waiting to be revealed. But I believed that children were paintings as much as they were sculptures. You shepherded the along from blank canvas: guiding and cajoling and teaching and begging and reprimanding and instructing and demanding pushing and prodding the finished art into a picture of your own making. A stone is just a stone until someone appears with a chisel. (page 62)

"Of course families are negotiated. We are all in negotiation. A marriage begins with negotiation and continues to be one. And that is if fortune smiles upon you! If you are not viewed as chattel, or property." (page 201)

There are far-fetched stories of headless men that wander, bodies that keep walking without skulls. But I've killed enough chickens to know: Sometimes a torso keeps going. The last pumps of the heart. The legs moving. The final stumble before the collapse. (page 247)

Things I've looked up:

girandole (page 58) - an ornamental branched candle holder, a convex wall mirror fitted with candle arms, or a cluster-style pendant earring featuring three dangling drops

solecism (page 202) -  a grammatical mistake in writing or speech, or a breach of good manners and social etiquette

austringer (page 204) - one who keeps goshawks

Hat mentions (why hats?):

large sun hat (page 47)

ridiculous hat (page 57)

sew a ribbon to a hat (page 119)

it is my hat (page 119)

unbecoming hat (page 119)

new hat (page 119)

ugliest, most regrettable hat (page 119)

do not need to concern yourself with the hat (page 119)

I do not think her hat is ugly (page 120)

the hat and veil and gloves (page 123)

I pulled my hat down (page 139) 

ribbons of her hat (page 151)

complimented your hat (page 152)

tipped his hat (page 154)

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Okay, real talk. Do you think I'm not vibing with any of these books because of the time of year? Do you find yourself being harsher about books during certain seasons/times?