What I Spent: July 2025

 As a reminder, my husband pays the "big bills" like mortgage, phone, and electricity. I pay for groceries and the pets and that somehow evens things out.

July was a weird month. I spent part of it in Michigan, part of it in Seattle, and part of it in California. So what I'm saying is that I traveled more than usual. Honestly, I traveled more than I did all of last year in one month. As a consequence, my eating out budget is insane, but it's coupled with an incredibly small grocery budget. 

However, there was more travel (the end of the California trip and another trip to Michigan) in August, so the "travel" expenses will continue next month. 

Here's how it broke down. 

Entertainment ($12.65) - This is my Spotify subscription.

Gifts ($158.10) - Postcards and the like while traveling, the bag and snacks for the friend who was leaving, and gifts for our cat sitter. 

Cars ($196.20) - Gas and things, including some oil when I was in Michigan and the check oil light came on.

Savings ($200) - Lol.

Clothes ($200.58) - This is the cost of the permanent bracelet I got while I was in Seattle. I wasn't actually sure what category to put it in (travel? entertainment? - there was a hot debate about this when we were in Seattle), but it landed here.

Personal care ($251.71) - Hair cut, pedicure, random TSA approved items all add up.

Bills ($259.48) - Water/sewer and insurance.

Groceries ($271.52) - This is honestly half of what it usually is because I just wasn't home to go to the store. 

Pets ($364.76) - Food for both of them, litter for the cat, heartworm treatment for the dog (a six-month supply), and we also had to get a topical medication for Hannah for flea and tick because she couldn't wear her Seresto collar while boarding when we were out of town.

Eating out ($473.19) - This is crazy. It also includes $80 cash that was miscellaneous cash while I was in Seattle. We ate out in Seattle a lot and we ate well. I have no regrets. This, combined with my grocery spending, is more than I'd usually spend on food in a month, but YOLO.

Travel ($490) - One overnight in a hotel, transportation costs while in Seattle, and money I gave our host in Seattle for letting us stay with him. 

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If you stayed with a friend when you vacation somewhere, would you pay them? 

About My Mom

The things you should know about my mom is that she loved Dusty the Lhasa apso and Red the Pomeranian more she loved her daughters, watched television shows on aliens and Bigfoot on constant repeat, hated men, loved doing craft projects that ended up looking like a fifth grader had completed them, and had a stash of trashy romance novels under her bed the day she died.

 

In her defense, Red was an amazing dog. I loved him more than most people, too.

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One day I was having an allergic reaction to a medication and I had to leave high school early because the hives were freaking out everyone. My mom, sister, and I piled into the car and went to the doctor. They gave me antibiotics, told me not to take sulfa drugs ever again, and the three of us got ice cream and went shopping where we all bought new clothes and shoes, and we drove fast through the two-lane country roads lined with corn and wheat fields, windows down, screaming out the lyrics to "Pour Some Sugar on Me." 

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She used to say that you should always eat your dessert first because there might be a fire before dinner was finished and wouldn't it be a shame if you didn't get to eat dessert. 

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She worked for the post office for over thirty years. She sorted mail, learned to drive a forklift, and could tell you every zip code for every small town in Michigan, Illinois, and Indiana. It was fun to test her on road trips. Climax! 49034! Corydon! 47112!

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At my wedding, she insisted on wear a pink top that clashed with the red that was our wedding color. Oh, well. She carried around an ugly old black purse and in every wedding photo, she's holding on to that damn purse. It makes me laugh now. At my sister's wedding, I took my mom's purse and cell phone from her and held them hostage in my car. Everyone she knew was at the wedding, so no one would call her. And damned if I was going to let her have an ugly purse in every one of my sister's wedding photos. 

The strap!

NO ONE ELSE HAS A PURSE ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

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When she was a tween, her nightgown caught fire on a gas range when she was heating up water for tea. She had third-degree burns up and down the left side of her body. They grafted skin from her thighs for her upper arm and torso. She was heavily scarred and she was out of school for more than two years. 

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She had nine brothers and sisters. She was number nine. There are only four remaining siblings now. 

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She used to text me indecipherable words. The number of times I texted "I do not understand what you mean" is probably hundreds. The very last text she sent to me was "Rocket is he play with him steals his bones. And lets him have the big cat." The fuck, mom? (Translation: Rocket plays with Sy and steals his bones. He lets Sy sleep in the big cage. - Rocket and Sy are my sister's dogs.) 

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One time she signed a birthday card to me Love, Fran instead of Love, Mom and then she didn't call me on my birthday and I cried. After I got married, she never called me on my birthday. She said it was my husband's job. I don't know. It made me sad. 

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She worked nights and my father worked during the day. So he was the primary caretaker. Did she notice the bruises? The empty fridge? The fear in our eyes? 

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One time we went for a walk in a county park. I though the loop was .75 miles, but at about mile two, my mom was getting tired. I saw a road across a field and made my mom troop through the field to get to the road, found a church, and parked her at a bench by the church. I looked a map on my phone, realized our car was about three-quarters of a mile away via sidewalks and ran to the car and drove back to get her. She referred to it as "our little hiking adventure."

Not from the hiking adventure, but when we went to a mall and she suggested I buy bright pink lipstick, which I did, but then threw it away because I am not a bright pink lipstick lady. She asked me why I wasn't wearing it the next time she saw me.

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I remember Jenny writing once (on her blog? in a comment here?) that when her mom died, she had young children and she just kept doing the things that it takes when you have young children and then one day she woke up and her life was normal again. Like, different normal, of course. But she had to keep on waking up and tying the shoelaces and packing the lunches and whatever it is that you do with kids. And every morning I'm getting up and walking the dog and then I get home and I don't remember it. My day-to-day life has not changed much since I lived hundreds of miles away, but somehow the world seems different. And I feel different, but I can't put my finger on what exactly. But I'll keep waking up and living my life and someday it will be normal again.

Obviously our relationship was complicated, but I never doubted that she loved me and my sister with all her heart and she always did what she thought was best for us. I miss her random incomprehensible emails. I miss the jokes about how terrible men were and how I would have to defend them (ME!). My birthday just passed and I missed the card in the mailbox. But that's part of the process, right?

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Thank you to everybody who has checked in with me in the last few weeks. The texts, the cards, the flowers, the books, the random board game someone sent with no name on it - it has all been very much appreciated. If I didn't send you a note thanking you, I have to admit that you probably won't get one because I have done a lousy job of keeping track. Just know that I did appreciate it and I have felt very much surrounded by love and support. 

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I'm going to attempt to do my regular bloggy thing, but posts may be sporadic. But at some point, it will become normal again. 

July 2025 Books

7/2: Kate & Frida: A Novel of Friendship, Food, and Books by Kim Fay (library, 2025) - Cozy book. I mean, one of the characters is in the middle of a war zone for some of the book and I'm still calling it a cozy book. 4.5/5 stars

7/6: Bonded in Death (In Death #60) by JD Robb (library ebook, 2025) - Why am I still reading these books? This was sort of boring and I'm over Robb trying to mine the pasts of Roarke and Summerset. The 4.62/5 stars on Goodreads is wildly out of pocket. When will I stop reading these less than mediocre books? 2/5 stars

7/12: Heartwood by Amity Gaige (library, 2025) - Character driven mystery about a hiker lost in the woods. Unputdownable. 4.5/5 stars

7/17: All Fours by Miranda July (library, 2024) - National Book Award Finalist or not, this was not a book for the likes of me. 2.5/5 stars

7/17: The Return of Ellie Black by Emiko Jean (library ebook, 2024) - Delightful book I started and finished on a plane. I doubt I'll remember this book in six months, but I enjoyed my time with it.  4/5 stars

7/19: The Chosen (Reuven Malther #1) by Chaim Potok (library ebook, 1966) - Coming of age book about two Jewish boys in Williamsburg in the 1940s, complete with lots of daddy issues. I'm sure that this book has its lovers, but nothing happened in this book outside of a very long youth baseball scene. If you are into character-driven novels, this might be for you, but it was not for me. (I will say that the Nazi stuff, treatment of Jewish people, religious differences, etc. does hit a particular chord in 2025.) 3/5 stars

7/22: An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser (library ebook, 1925) - Weird book. Is it a coming of age story? A story about toxic masculinity? True crime? Who knows? 3/5 stars

7/27: The Compound by Aisling Rawle (library, 2025) - Reality show book in a dystopian future. It's catnip for me, people. 4/5 stars

7/29: Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks (library, 2001) - The writing was great. The way Brooks weaves historical details in is amazing. But I did not want to read this book about a plague. 3/5 stars

Total: 9 books 
Average star rating: 3.39/5 stars

DNF:

A Visit from the Goon Squad (Goon Squad #1) by Jennifer Egan - The first scene was all about a woman getting drunk, shoplifting, and making poor choices. I don't need that in my life. This reminds me why I stopped reading it when it was first published. 

Infomocracy (The Centenal Cycle #1) by Malka Ann Older - I do not care for spy books AND I don't think I'm smart enough for this book. 

The Good House by Ann Leary - According to Libby, I listened to 69% of the audiobook! I have absolutely no memories of this at all. I'm pretty sure it was during one of my interminable and endless drives to and from Michigan. Maybe someday I'll come back to it. 

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg - I really hate being preached at. DNF at 7% and have no regrets. 

July 2025 Accountability Buddy

Tuesday, July 1
30-minute fully body strength training

10-minute full body stretch

Wednesday, July 2

45-minute yoga at the community center after work

Thursday, July 3

30-minute yoga for posture (focused on back pain)

60-minute Zumba class after work

Friday, July 4

Day off

Saturday, July 5

45-minute "run" - Look, I'm in Michigan and this seemed like the easiest thing to do, but it turns out that it was too hot for me, so I ended up walking for a lot of this. 

Sunday, July 6

25-minute evening flow yoga

5-minute yoga for sleep

Monday, July 7

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime*

Tuesday, July 8

30-minute total body dumbbell workout

10-minute post-workout stretch

Wednesday, July 9

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

45-minute yoga at the community center after work

Thursday, July 10

30-minute yoga at the student union at lunchtime

Friday, July 11

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

30-minute full body dumbbell strength training - I really liked this one. Sixty seconds on thirty seconds off, no repeats. 

15-minute full body stretch

Saturday, July 12

45-minute yoga for tight hips - This was definitely a "your mind wants to give up before your body" type of practice

Sunday, July 13

30-minute full body strength and conditioning

25-minute yin fascia release yoga - This lady was too into "your body's power source" and the "next level of present." That's not my jam, but it might be yours. 

Monday, July 14

30-minute yoga at the student union at lunchtime

30-minute Werq (dance) class after work

Tuesday, July 15

30-minute arms and abs 

20-minute somatic yin yoga - Look, this lady talked about the heart meridian and liver meridian, so you know what you're getting. Her voice is amazing, though, and it's a nice, quick mat practice. 

Wednesday, July 16

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

30-minute yin yoga for neck and shoulders 

Thursday, July 17

30-minute lower body workout

15-minute full body stretch

Friday, July 18

20-min yoga video

10-min leg stretch 

Saturday, July 19 - Tuesday, July 22

Off because I was out of town

Wednesday, July 23

15-minute stretch class at lunchtime

30-minute upper body dumbbell workout

Thursday, July 24

30-minute lower body and abs

Friday, July 25

35-minute fast and fun walking workout (so sweaty!)

10-minute full body stretch

Saturday, July 26

45-minute lazy yin yoga - I'm beat. I just needed a day where I didn't push much. 

Sunday, July 27

50-minute hot, sweaty yardwork - Functional fitness for the win, I guess?

Monday, July 28

30-minute Werq (dance) class after work - Last Werq class because the instructor has a new job and won't be teaching it anymore. :(

Tuesday, July 29 and Wednesday, July 30

Days off

Thursday, July 31

30-minute morning yoga

Totals: 23/31 (74.2%) days 

13 days yoga

12 days strength/cardio

5 short 15-minute stretch classes at lunchtime

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*Our local healthcare organization does free stretch classes virtually three times a week. Sign up here! It's free. It's fun. We regularly talk about candy and what's for lunch. It's a delightful break in the middle of the day. You do not have to have your camera on. 

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I didn't quite get to my 80% goal because of days traveling and whatnot, but I feel pretty good about these numbers based on everything going on in my life.

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What's the last really good workout you did? 

The Compound by Aisling Rawle

I heard about The Compound by Aisling Rawle on Sarah's Bookshelves. It was described as Lord of the Flies meets Love Island and while that's not exactly accurate, it's not entirely inaccurate, either. 

In a near-future (maybe current day?) Lily wakes up in a remote desert compound where she is on a reality show with nineteen other young people. She's 20something, beautiful, driftless, and she's counting on this show to help make her future easier. The world is hard - jobs are boring, there's constant war, and there's a hint that these young people don't think they'll be alive in twenty years. 

The first part of this book was tough because twenty people is a lot. By the time you get to half that number, it's a lot easier to follow who is who. As the show goes on, we see Lily do more and more things for rewards and prizes that she wouldn't have considered doing early on in the show. Will Lily make it to the end with her own true self intact?

I think this book is mostly a critique of social media and late-stage capitalism (buy more stuff! stuff will make you happy!), but when I finished the last page, I still was wondering what the take home theme was supposed to be. There are plenty of interesting social critiques - how women (and men) of color are treated on television, how even when gender roles aren't assigned, people do what's "expected" of them, sexual attraction versus love, and the whole idea of television production on "reality" television and how it influences behavior outside of a set - but I just left the book feeling jangly and uncertain. 

Maybe that's the point. 4/5 stars

Line of note:

The boys were delighted with themselves, and spent a long time finishing it, and a longer time congratulating themselves on it. (page 136)

Ahem. 

Hat mentions (why hats?): 

Some people put their shoes on the lower shelf, and others put sunscreen and hats and aloe vera on the shelves. (page 80)

After two further challenges (name fifteen capital cities - a tin of white paint; reveal who we voted for in the last election - baseball hats for everyone) we were exhausted and starving. (page 90)

They were plainly dressed in shorts and T-shirts, sunglasses and hats. (page 134)

"A month ago, I could have told you the minute and the hour and the date at the drop of a hat." (page 264)

a swimming hat (page 287) - WTF does that even mean? Like one of those stretchy cap things?

The Parting Gift

I left you all on a bit of a cliffhanger about what I was going to get Blanche's mom since she's abandoning us for greener pastures. Was I even going to get a gift? I think you all knew I was going to get a gift, right? It's what I do.

Well, I got her a nice bag with our town's name on it. Seriously, friends, it's a nice bag. 

Then I filled it with my favorite road trip snacks.

Then I got Blanche some presents, too.

And then I gave it to her. I didn't even cry. Not once.

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Do you find it challenging to meet friends as an adult? 

A Long Weekend in Seattle

Bestest Friend and I spent a long weekend in Seattle - we met up at the airport on Friday morning and she left on Monday morning (I spent the whole of Monday at the airport, but pretend that never happened). 

I'm going to condense this because is there anything more boring than somebody else's trip, but here's what we did if you're interested in the TL;DR version. I'll go into all the details below.

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Friday
Seattle Aquarium - Okay. Maybe I wouldn't normally pay that price for what it is, but it was fine. 
Public Market - This place is so much fun. Very crowded, so be prepared for that. 

Saturday
Underground Tour - Eh. Bestest Friend and I are bad at guided tours. LOL. Maybe it was our fault more than the fault of the tour. 
Seattle Center - What a beautiful area to wander around. 
Permanent jewelry - So much fun. 

Sunday
Whale watching tour - Really fun!
Fremont Market - Very impressive!
Gas Works Park - Beautiful!

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Accommodations

We stayed with our friend Jason. Jason went to Bowling Green with us and if you can stay with Jason, I would recommend it 10/10. His condo is beautiful, he gave us explicit instructions on transit, and he gave us a list of things to do every day. He had Perrier for me every morning. He has a million board games and owns more scarves than I do. He is the perfect host.

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Getting Around

Transit in Seattle is amazing. We took light rail from downtown and then busses everywhere we went. Google maps has amazing instructions, so we didn't even need a separate app. We bought an Orca card ($3) at the light rail station and then put $20 on it to get through the weekend. $30 would have been even better!

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What We Did

We met at baggage claim! It took forever to get bags. I wore a mask most of the time when I was in the airport or on a plane because it was so crowded. 

Seattle Aquarium - $54.95

There's an octopus! And sea lions! And giant manta rays. This was fine. I thought it was kind of expensive, though, for what it was. And it was very crowded. As someone who is still currently of the "we're in a middle of a pandemic" mindset, this was a challenge. I am not sure I'd highly recommend it, but if you're into marine biology, it's fun. 

Pike Place Market - This is the place where they throw the fish, you know? It's a warren of hundreds of restaurants, shops, buskers, and entertainment. We just kept ending up here and finding new places to eat and shop and admire. It's right on the water and only a couple of blocks from the bus stops downtown and I was so glad we spent as much time here as we did. 

In the middle is Jason, our host. In all photos of me with Jason, I am closing my eyes. It's just a thing. 

There is a skywalk between the top of the Ocean Pavilion of the Aquarium and Pike's Place Market that has breathtaking views of the city. We were there when the weather was TOP NOTCH and the sky was blue and the temps were in the mid-70s with no humidity. There are NO BUGS in Seattle, so I didn't even worry about not having any bug spray on me.

Taken from on top of the Ocean Pavilion. 

Beneath the Streets Underground Tour - roughly $32 a person

So, there was a fire and original Seattle burned down. They wanted to rebuild, so they did crazy things like building on top of existing foundations. That means that in the oldest part of Seattle, there are underground tunnels that were original Seattle streets. That sounds cool, doesn't it? Unfortunately, this is tour guide dependent and our tour guide just wasn't as amazing as he could have been.

Okay, this is a cool fact. These are leftover skylights from the underground. They were clear at one time, but the sunlight has turned them purple. They're so cool and now if you see them on Seattle streets, you'll know what they are. 

She looks like she's going on a real expedition here. 

Seattle Center - This area of the city is where the Space Needle is, as well as a couple of other museums and the International Fountain. There were street vendors and a concert going on when we were there and it was fun to just hang out in the wide green spaces and see people coming together in community. We didn't go into any of the museums or anything, but it's very pretty.

Storica Studio - Ever since Stephany wrote about getting permanent jewelry with her book club, I've been wanting to do it. Bestest Friend and I had a couple of hours to kill and I sort of jokingly said we could get bracelets and she was so excited to do it! We made an appointment at Storica Studio and were there in half an hour. 

This wasn't cheap, but Nina, the lady who welded them on for us, said it should last 18-24 months. I guess we'll see! I'll obviously update you when I break it because you know I will break it. 

We took a photo with Nina. Of course we did. 

Whale watching tour - $137

We were out on a deluxe ship for four hours watching whales. There was a naturalist on board telling us where to look and about the different marine mammals. Huge thumbs up. Definitely worth the price of admission. There was a dog named Motown on board.

There are sea lions on that buoy. 

It was no one's fault but my own, but I was underdressed. It was chillier on the water and I was wearing a dress and my duster, but I was just not warm enough. I should have packed a pair of leggings, but I did not and I would have enjoyed this more if I had some leggings, but that's my fault, not theirs. 

Fremont Market 

The Sunday Market in Fremont is hundreds of vendors selling vintage, homemade, and kitsch. We had so much fun.  We got there with only about forty-five minutes to wander around and I wish we had left ourselves a bit more time. 

Gas Works Park 

I have to admit that we were pretty exhausted when it was suggested we go to Gas Works Park. But we were assured that the view was amazing and that it would be worth the effort. I was so glad we did. This park used to be the site of a gasification plant and you can see the industrial remains still. There's a big hill with glorious views.

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Eating

Just picture me doing this the whole time

We ate a lot at Pike's Place. Three standouts are The Crumpet Shop, Jack's Fish and Chips, and Mee Sum Pastry. 

Crumpets. I legit ate most of that. I think Bestest Friend ate maybe 1.5 of those crumpets.

We ate dinners at a Mexican restaurant (where we had dinner with Jason's friends - is there anything more that I like to do than bring straight Midwestern lady energy to a gay man's birthday party? I'm sparing you the photos, but I think you all know exactly what it looked like) and a Thai place that were both good, but I do not have their names. We ate seafood at a place called Chinook's the last night we were there and the seafood chowder was to die for.

Mixed reviews on Biscuit Bitch, but I did eat that biscuit like I hadn't had carbs in years, so if you're willing to wait AN HOUR for biscuits, give it a shot. The crumpet place is better, though.

I did not have bad food in Seattle. 

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There was an incident where we got to a bus stop and there were fire trucks and an ambulance. Some guy had ODed and we watched them Narcan him. He came to, refused treatment, they all left, and he ambled off. All of this happened in the eight minutes we were waiting for a bus.

There are a lot of unhoused people in Seattle, especially in the downtown area. They all seemed polite and reasonable to me, but you should know that going in. 

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Have you ever been to Seattle? What's your favorite thing to do there? If you haven't, what would you like to see there?