Tress of the Emerald Sea (Hoid's Travails #1) by Brandon Sanderson

This month we read Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson for my IRL book club.

Brandon Sanderson (I listen to a podcast where they call him Brando Sando and I don't know why, but it tickles me in just the right place)  is the author of a lot of books set in his expanded fantasy world of  Cosmere. Tress of the Emerald Sea is a standalone book set in this world. 

Okay, here's the deal. Tress lives on an isolated island. When her beloved, Charlie, the duke's son, is captured by the Sorceress in the Midnight Sea, Tress decides to go after him. The seas in this place are dangerous, though. They are created by spores (not water) that rain down from the twelve different moons of the planet. The spores are unstable, reacting to water in an explosive way.  However, ships sail these seas. 

She befriends a talking rat named Huck and manages to be a perfect sailor who eventually worms her way into the heart of all the crew onboard the pirate ship the Crow's Song, which is naturally captained by Crow, a spore-eater. Can Tress save Charlie? Can Tress save herself?

Look, did some of this backstory bore you? Oh, good, I'm not alone. 

The book is told from the POV of Hoid, the cabin boy who is under a curse placed on him by the Sorceress that makes most of what he says nonsense. And why did Brando Sando need to have a dude intermediary? Because Brando Sando is not a good enough writer to write female characters. It is my big beef with this book. Because Hoid is not reliable (he's under a curse placed on him by the Sorceress), how does he know what Tress is thinking or doing? He doesn't. So Tress becomes one-dimensional and we spend too long trying to figure out if what Hoid is saying is at all important. 

But something happened at the end that I did not expect and I felt REALLY DUMB because it was sort of obvious in retrospect, but it made me reevaluate my stance on Sanderson's writing - that stance being that he's a plodding author whose dialogue is clunky and his sentence structure is a crime against humanity. However, maybe I'm wrong? The ending of this book tells me that I'm wrong. Maybe. Actually, no. He's still not a great writer, but he's great at plot. That's fair, right?

Also, this book has so many preachy moments in it. I don't need that. 

Eh.  This was going to be 2/5 stars, but I bumped it to 3/5 stars because the ENDING. It really got me. 

Lines of note:

Tress didn’t want to act suspicious, so she didn’t execute her plan at first. (location 1532)

Just. How did this make it through editing? SUSPICIOUSLY!!!

Hat mentions (why hats?):

He was wearing a traveling coat and even a hat. The duke considered hats improper wear except during travel. (location 371)

One figure in particular—standing right at the prow of the ship, wearing a hat with a tall black feather—looked ominous. (location 936)

With the black-plumed hat, their face was lost in shadow as the sun shone from near the horizon, silhouetting them. (location 945)

Captain Crow—judging by the plume in her hat—had harsh lines for a face, with tan skin and a scowl deep as the ocean. (location 987)

...wind blowing the black feather in her hat. (location 1269)

Her hat hung on a peg by the door...(location 2608)

She took her hat off the peg, went out the door, then locked it behind her. (location 2621)

the captain in her plumed hat (location 4089)

“Tell me…what is your opinion on tiny pirate hats?” (location 4481)

He’d been sitting there making a list of all the hats she owned. (location 4675)

She pulled on her hat, wavered for a moment, but then decided. (location 4896)

stolen Huck’s tiny pirate hat (location 5303)

Or, if trees won’t fit, maybe some paintings of dogs wearing hats. (location 5317)

The captain soon emerged onto the deck of the Two Cups sporting a long captain’s jacket and a hat with a plume. (location 5484)

Also, the only thing he was wearing was a tiny pirate hat. (location 5502)

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Have you ever read Brando Sando? Do you care about spores reacting to water? Do you even know what that means? 

Birding with Benefits by Sarah T. Dubb

I asked for a birding meet cute in a romance novel to fulfill a Pop Sugar Reading Challenge prompt and Sarah immediately texted me about Birding with Benefits by Sarah T. Dubb. I got it from my library the next day. 

A few things. 

1) The cover is perfection.

2) Stephany left a comment about this book on that post I linked to above.

3) Stephany is right. 

Interesting characters: Celeste's exuberance and chaotic energy made me side-eye Dubb that maybe she has met me. Celeste feels real and maybe reflected back at me a bit too closely for comfort. But the male lead is dull as dishwater. Celeste needs a man with some spice. Fine. It's fine.

Believable conflict: You know what? Sure. Celeste is newly divorced and trying to figure out who she is without a partner dragging her down. John (man, it's even the most boring of names - sorry to all the Johns out there, but you might want to have a talk with your parents about why they couldn't be even the teeniest bit creative) has recently lost his job and isn't sure what to do for work. Celeste is A LOT and I can see why their situations and their personalities would create some classic uncommunication. 

Emotional tension: I think that's what this book was missing most. 

Happily ever after: Real talk. I feel like my husband could probably find a woman more suited to him, but I think he's hilarious and the smartest person in the world and I think he thrives with my enthusiasm and brashness. But I don't think these two (fictional characters - it's okay to talk about fictional characters like this, right?) are going to work out because they are not meant for each other. I think John is going to get frustrated with her real quick. 

Look, the meet cute is FABULOUS. Celeste is FABULOUS. But the book is meh. I look forward to future books from Dubb, though. Maybe she can figure out how to write a man who isn't a door mat. 

3/5 stars

Lines of note:

"We start with discovery, and we go from there." (page 24)

I liked this so much. YES! Let's discover and then ask questions. 

"If I ever need a reminder of why I'm single, I just think about how Andrea won't even make plans without checking Bridgette's calendar." (page 151)

What? Seriously. I look at our shared calendar before I make plans because that's what you do in a healthy relationship? If Dr. BB has plans and I'm going to make plans at the same time, we have to make sure someone is home to walk the dog, feed the cat, etc. This was such a crazy sentence. 

Thing I looked up:

Are birding contests a real thing? Yes. Also, WTF?

Hat mentions (why hats?): 

wide-brimmed straw hat (page 21)

worn baseball hat (page 54)

floppy hat (page 300, 303)

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Can we all agree to listen to Stephany about the quality of romance novels from here on out? Would you do a birding competition? Do you think birding competitions sound crazy? If you have a partner, do you consult their calendar before you make plans? 

A Resistance of Witches by Morgan Ryan

 A Resistance of Witches is Morgan Ryan's debut novel. 

It's World War II. Lydia Polk is the protege to the Head Mistress at the Royal Academy of London when a Nazi coven infiltrates. Lydia must find a terrible magical grimoire before the Nazis get it. Adventures ensue.  

What a truly delightful book. There's magic! Killing Nazis! Found and nuclear family. Characters who are smart, but sometimes do stupid things because it's war! 

I have some quibbles, but you know what? If it sounds like you might enjoy this book, you probably will. 4/5 stars

Lines of note:

“There are Nazis everywhere. They just go by different names.” (location 2125)

Yeah. Just....yeah. 

She curled and pinned her hair, and fixed her makeup, rouging her cheeks and painting her lips a deep claret red. (location 4680)

This line reminds me of the line from the song "Fancy" - Mama washed and combed and curled my hair and then she painted my eyes and lips. 

To my parents, who showed up to every choir concert and school play, who let me major in theater without complaint or reservation, and who always told me that a real job is fine, but please don’t forget about your writing. I love you. (location 5616)

OH MY GOD I WANT HER PARENTS TO BE MY PARENTS. 

This is a story about mothers. I was unbelievably lucky to be raised by a mother who taught me from the beginning that words have power, and who modeled what it meant to live a creative life. Whatever magic I have, I got it from you. (location 5624)

AND THEN I WAS CRYING AT THE END OF THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.

Things I looked up:

Is Clementine Winston Churchill's wife? (location 149) - Yes. That's all. Although this line in her Wikipedia made me snort: her mother Lady Blanche's known infidelity and his suspected infertility makes her paternity uncertain.

Zigeuner (location 1715) - a German word, used by the Nazis to describe Roma, Sinti and Traveller communities. It is thought to derive from a term meaning 'untouchable.' Egads. 

Clearly you don’t mean to include the brujas, or the vedmy, or the ćovaxanǎ. (location 4394) - These are all synonyms for witches in different languages. 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

Stay away from the man in the white hat. (location 2664)

wide-brimmed hat (location 3150)

broad-brimmed hat (location 3174)

He tipped his hat to an auburn-haired woman on the corner, waiting for the bus in her sky-blue coat and matching hat, and she nodded back. (location 3715)

Gentlemen clutched their hats to their heads as they rushed past the chestnut trees and scrubby vegetable allotments, and ladies cried out in frustration as the wind tugged at their hair...(location 3959)

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Who thinks WWII with witches sounds fun? Who thinks it sounds like it's disrespectful to the true story of the war? 

It's Been TEN YEARS

TJC and I last went to a Garth Brooks concert in 2016. That's TEN YEARS AGO. It both does feel like ten years ago and like it was not. What even is time?

Here's a rundown on my weekend. I worked on Friday and left from the parking lot to head to Indianapolis. Note: I have never in my life seen "Debris on the road" pop up on my GPS until I got to Indiana. Items I saw on the road include a tarp, a bucket, a piece of lumber, and unidentified object I will assume was a box of nails, and a cushion from a couch or something. Bizarre. And sort of scary. Anyway, I roll into the hotel, greet TJC, do ten minutes of yoga, and go to bed. 

Now, here's what you need to know about the dynamic duo of NGS and TJC. Neither one of had done a damn bit of research about what we were going to do that weekend except get tickets and book a hotel. For those of you who plan trips, this is probably unfathomable. On Saturday morning I googled "what's happening in Indianapolis this weekend?" and you'll never believe it, but the State Fair was happening! Woot! There were BABY PIGS. I mean, it's definitely a distant third in state fairs I've been to, but I'll take what I can get. 

All fair photos taken by TJC because I accidentally left my phone in the car. 

None of  you are going to be surprised that I am an anxious person who made TJC leave the hotel at 5pm for an 8pm concert, are you? We figured out parking, almost hit some dude in a crosswalk (MY BAD!), and ate sushi before we got to the venue, purchased tshirts, and sat down with half an hour to spare. Here's what you need to know about TJC, though. She didn't complain about any of it. She didn't mind that we were there early. She didn't mind that I wanted to get the merch right away. She is the perfect concertgoing partner. 

Here's the song list, if you care. Does anyone care? Probably just me in another ten years. 

There was a video about his tribute to Queen in his Ireland concert. That was a fun way to start while they were waiting for folks who were running late to come in.

"The Old Stuff"
"Rodeo"
"Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House"
"Beaches of Cheyenne"
"Two Pina Coladas" - I was surprised by this one. I thought it was a deep cut, but everyone around me seemed to know it. 
THEN!!! He played the opening verse and a chorus to "Lonesome Dove." !!!!!!
"The River" - blah
Some Bob Seger song - "Turn the Page," I think? I didn't know it and was bummed because what a waste of Garth Brooks time, right?
"Thunder Rolls"
"Unanswered Prayers" - 17,000 singing a song that was released 36 years ago. Amazing, really.
"If Tomorrow Never Comes"
"That Summer"
He gave away a guitar to some lady in the audience.
"Callin' Baton Rouge"
"Fever"
The backup singer sang "Shout"
"Shameless"
"Blame It All On My Roots" - Electric.
Some dude had a Randy Travis sign, so he sang a Travis medley of "Digging Up Bones," "I Told You So," and "Three Wooden Crosses."
"She's Every Woman"
"Papa Loved Mama"
"Much Too Young to Feel this Damned Old"
"Standing Outside the Fire"

I was a bit bummed that there was no "We Shall Be Free," which seems like such an important song right now, but he played "Lonesome Dove," so how can I complain?

The next morning we went to Newfields, which is a legitimately amazing art museum and garden. It's 100% worth the price of admission. 

Best hat, piece I'd most like in my house, and cutest creature. 

And that was it. Super fun! I can't wait to do it again. Hopefully it won't take ten years this time. 

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What's the last big concert you went to? Do you have a favorite concert attending friend? Have you been to Indianapolis? 

Homebound by Portia Elan

I read Homebound by Portia Elan because a guest on Sarah's Bookshelves recommended it. I was swayed to her side when she discussed Yesteryear as a book she didn't love, so that earned her cred in my world. 

In Homebound, we follow multiple timelines: Becks in 1983 as she grapples with her uncle's death; Yesiko in 2586 as she tries to pay off the debt she owes while taking care of the crew of her ship; and Tamar Portman in the 2070s as she opens a lab researching cutting age technology. 

The first part of this novel was immersive and I was all in. Becks is a great character, dealing with her emerging sexuality and the loss of her uncle to AIDS (or GRID as it was known then). Yesiko's storyline was so interesting. She is desperate to get rid of her debt and care for her crew, but she's not sure how to do any of it. 

But then. Hm. There are ENDLESS passages about videogames and robotic technology. ENDLESS. I really really really don't like that.  I was invested in these two characters and suddenly we're taken away from them and thrown into nonsense. I also was not entirely convinced by how the storylines were all connected in the end. 

I have hopes for this author, though. The writing and the character development were strong. I'll go back for more, hopefully with less emphasis on text-based videogames. 3/5 stars 

Lines of note:

Generation on generation of skinny ship cats, but now only Panim, the opinionated tortie who slept curled against Yeshiko's chest, chirruping even in her dreams. (page 9)

I just love it when author's actually give pets personality. Panim is a lovely character. 

I understand that this is the natural order: our teachers, our mentors die, and we become the teachers, the mentors. The mantle passes. But what is "natural" is still painful and heavy, and I sometimes want to stomp my foot and tell time to just go back. (page 66)

I'm really struggling right now with some difficult, non-bloggable things, and this line really resonated. 

Things I looked up:

Pesach plate (page 9) - a special plate containing symbolic foods eaten or displayed at the Passover Seder (seriously, my ignorance of world religions is legion)

Eugene Cernan (page 167) - an American astronaut who traveled into space three times and to the Moon twice: as pilot of Gemini 9A in June 1966, as Lunar Module pilot of Apollo 10 in May 1969, and as commander of Apollo 17 in December 1972, the final Apollo lunar landing. During the Apollo 17 mission, he became the 11th person to walk on the Moon as well as the astronaut with the longest time spent walking on the Moon; he is also the last person to walk on the Moon as of 2026. (Doesn't it feel like I should know this person?)

Hat mentions (why hats?):

matching fur hats (page 114)

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Did you know who Gene Cernan was? Do you like books with multiple timelines told hundreds of years apart? 

Five for Friday, Edition #48

I've been working on this post for weeks. Some of this is now outdated, but I'm not editing anything. You get it all.

1) The deer were back! I would really like it if they ate all the greenery in our yard. 

Hey, is that a jungle? No, it's our backyard and our algae-stained siding!

2) Do you know what Michelle sent me? A dragon the size of a teacup!! I nearly died with the cuteness. Thank you so much, Michelle. She holds a pride of place in my office.

3) Last weekend was my birthday weekend! I was a lady who lunched! On Sunday, my actual birthday, I lunched with some friends in town. On Monday, I met with Sarah, Birchie, and Kyria in Madison for a quick brunch. There was cake and presents! What a life. 

The water bottle is a thing. So, I'm sort of a picky witch about water bottles. I hate plastic ones. I don't want a straw (impossible to clean - FIGHT ME ON THIS). I have been using a dented old metal Nathan one (Nathan doesn't even make metal bottles anymore) that wobbles because of all the dents, but earlier in the summer, the carabiner clip BROKE on the lid and my husband had less and less patience for me and my busted, wobbly water bottle. USE ANOTHER ONE, he implored. 

He bought me this one. Here's the sssshhhh secret. I don't like it. I hate the mint green color. This can be fixed with a judicious use of stickers.  But more than that. The lid is plastic. I don't want my lips to touch plastic (this is a sensory thing - plastic has a *smell* and apparently no one else gets it, but I DO). Okay, I can take off the lid. Well, that's all well and good, but then I have to put the top down and IT DOESN'T LAY FLAT. 

It was a thoughtful gift, but there's a reason I was still using the busted Nathan one. 

(Also, I really am grateful he bought it for me. You know I'm going to use it until it, too, is busted. And then I'll find an old Nathan water bottle on eBay.)

4) I'm going to Indianapolis this weekend to see Garth Brooks in concert with TJC!! Woot woot! We saw him in Rockford, IL in 2014, Detroit in 2015 (we went with my mom, sister, and BIL, and they were SUCH DOWNERS - don't go to concerts with people who don't share your concert vibe), and Columbus in 2016. Having a blog with all these details is AMAZING. Anyway, I'm going to have so so so so much fun.  

5) It wouldn't be a Five by Friday post if I didn't tell you a little bit about how disappointed I am with my fellow humans. I was driving home Wednesday night after a very long workday in which I ran a training for all the faculty advisors in my college. I was looking forward to yoga and convincing my husband that a frozen pizza is a healthy dinner option. As I drove along the river, a woman was literally LYING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD trying to stand up and she kept falling over. A man was with her, but he seemed unable to help her up. I watched THREE CARS in front of me pass by her. I pulled over as soon as it was safe to stop and ran back to help her.

I watched ANOTHER THREE CARS drive by as I ran towards her. 

Anyway, the man and I helped her up and walked her to her car. She was shaking and her knee was terribly scraped. I asked if they wanted me to call an ambulance or run to my house (like three blocks away) to get first aid stuff. They declined and drove away. 

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE ELSE STOP? 

I honestly thought the boys on the roof situation was the last time I would deal with this. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? I don't think of myself as the kindest/most helpful person in the world, but I was literally crying as I drove the three blocks home. Why are we not helping people who need help? Is this just my town? I love my town. I'm a big booster for it. But maybe my town doesn't have anyone's back? I apologize for the all caps but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? 

The Warm Hands of Ghosts by Katherine Arden

Shoutout to Diane who recommended The Warm Hands of Ghosts by Katherine Arden when I asked for audiobook recommendations.

It is 1917. Laura Iven is a war nurse who has returned home to Halifax after she was injured. Her mother and father are killed in a terrible explosion in the port. Meanwhile, she has received confusing messages about the death of her brother Freddie at the front in Belgium. She arranges to go back to Europe in order to find out what happened to her brother.

Once there, though, Laura starts to hear rumors of a hotelier who plays violin and creates a space for men to forget about their pain and what happened to Freddie becomes less and less clear. 

Listen, I am not  usually a Great War kind of girl. I actually find most war books too repetitive and dark for me. But this one, with its faint whiff of magical realism, female bonds, and the power of family, both found and natural, hit just the right spot for me. Also, the narrators, Michael Crouch, and January LaVoy, had such lyrical voices that I never found myself drifting off, which has become quite a problem for me with audiobooks recently.

Anyway, this was a great rec. Thanks, Diane! 4/5 stars

Line of note:

"Maybe this is hell," he said, only half joking. He supposed in hell it didn't matter if you were Canadian or German. That put the war in perspective... (chapter 4)

There's a lot of foreshadowing in this line. Super interesting. 

Thing I looked up:

Halifax explosion - I linked to it up above because it's such a crucial plot point. With both of her parents killed in this explosion, Laura had nothing left in Halifax, so heading back to the warfront made sense. Without this explosion, would Laura have stayed in Halifax to recuperate from her war injury and care for her parents?

On December 6, 1917, the French cargo ship SS Mont-Blanc and the Norwegian vessel SS Imo collided in the harbor of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Laden with high explosives, Mont-Blanc caught fire and detonated, devastating the Richmond district of Halifax. At least 1,782 people, largely in Halifax and Dartmouth, were killed by the blast, debris, fires, or collapsed buildings, and an estimated 9,000 others were injured. The blast was the largest human-made explosion at the time. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?

WWI pillbox - a type of blockhouse, or concrete dug-in guard-post, often camouflaged, normally equipped with loopholes through which defenders can fire weapons. It is in effect a trench firing step, hardened to protect against small-arms fire and grenades, and raised to improve the field of fire. The modern concrete pillbox originated on the Western Front of World War I by the German army. 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

top hat (chapter 2)

tin hat (chapter 4, chapter 12x2)

larger hat (chapter 7)

pass the hat (chapter 7 x2)

flowered hat (chapter 11)

under her hat (chapter 13)

tipping his hat (chapter 15)

covered his face with his hat (chapter 19)

funny hats (author's note)

Do you read a lot of WWI books? Is there another one I should be reading?