Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write a post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the fourteenth day of the month is "Control."
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Happy Valentine's Day, my friends! As per usual, Dr. BB and I will make homemade cards tonight and some See's lollypops were purchased, but otherwise, there is no celebration. I was in a grocery store yesterday and noticed that the Easter candy spread was giant and the Valentine's Day candy selection was quite limited. I wonder if there's been a move to just skip right over February into egg season.
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This weekend was really warm here in Wisconsin. On Sunday, I took Hannah to the dog park and when I turned on the car, it said it was 50 degrees! Woot woot! The dog park was muddy, so I tried to herd Hannah into less traveled areas, but you can't control an unleashed dog when there are other unleashed dogs about, so eventually I gave in and just knew that I was going to have to take her for a bath after our adventure. Also, note Hannah's behavior whenever she sees another dog:
That's right. She just lays down (IN THE MUD) in wait to attack them. What a weirdo.
(ALSO! Hannah has historically been a bit shy about men in general. I haven't done much about this besides trying not to tense up or yank on her leash when we walk by a dude. But at the dog park, she just ran up to a random guy and nosed his hand for a pet! She doesn't even nose MY HAND. I was so proud of her.)
(ALSO! I think the skinny old guy dog in our neighborhood has died. His owners now have a giant brown mastiff. He is SO BIG. He has to weigh 150 pounds if he weighs anything. We've seen him across the street and I wave to his people and he's really calm and walks like a true champion loose leash expert, but we've never come face to face with him. On our walk yesterday, we turned a corner and came face to face with him and his girl human and all four of us jumped back in a hurry! Hannah tucked tail and growled a tiny bit, but stood her ground. She didn't lunge at him or bark. He, of course, is such a good boy that he just sauntered right on by her. I was pretty proud of Hannah's reaction - she was scared, but she was also going to protect me.)
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Yesterday we got a group text from our friend who had surgery for his cancer last week. He was being released from the hospital and his report from the pathologist was best case scenario with no sign of cancer in any of the lymph nodes that were removed. I was so happy, but then other people who were on the text stream started talking about having a party to celebrate. I was so confused. I mean, a party? The man has to be on bedrest for six weeks? And then a lady sent an invite to a party on Friday.
Okay.
Some background.
1) I do not care for this woman in the best of times for a variety of reasons, but mostly because she doesn't like my dog and I think she's thoughtless and self-absorbed. HOWEVER. She's also very generous with her time, is married to a great guy (who I assume sees something in her I don't), and has a gorgeous Maine coon cat, so at least we can chat about cats when we're together. I also found her behavior re: the COVID pandemic irresponsible, but I'm trying hard not to hold grudges. (It is HARD for me.)
2) One of my quarterly goals is to say yes to invitations to things.
But I think this invite is in terrible taste? And I don't want to go to her house? But I CAN go because I have no conflicts, but maybe I should invent a conflict? But, no. I said I would say yes to invitations, so I guess I have to go over there.
I can't control how other people act in this world. I can only control my own actions.
I don't know. Hey, friends. Should I go to this party?
Oh goodness. This just feels like such awful timing. I have no idea how I'd respond in this scenario. Will your friend who had surgery be there? Like...does he have a say in this? Does he want the party?
ReplyDeleteAlso: I LOVE the fact you make cards for each other together on Valentine's. Too cute. And I am here for all things cinnamon, so I would LOVE those lollys.
There's no way my friend can be there. He did not chime in on the text stream after the original message, so there's no way to know what he thinks, but he's a very chill guy and probably is just excited that other people are getting together. I don't know. It's all too complicated for me to deal with emotionally.
DeleteFirst of all, yes. I went to the store yesterday to get my daughter something little for Valentine's Day, and i really had to search to find something- the main displays were all Easter. WHY??
ReplyDeleteSo, let's see. This woman is having a party to celebrate that this guy is done with surgery and got a best case scenario result- but he's on bedrest? So I'm assuming he won't be attending this party? It sounds kind of weird. I would say you don't HAVE to go. I know it goes against your resolve to say yes to things, but did that include saying yes to things you really don't want to do? On the other hand, if you do go I want to hear all about it, and please include a picture of her cat!
If I ever go to her house, I will definitely get a picture of her cat. She's a gorgeous creature and I want to kidnap her and see what Zelda makes of her!
DeleteOh brother. I'm wondering if this party isn't just a Feel Good Bash In General, which wouldn't require the presence of the recovered person, per se. Like, "What a relief that's over; let's party!" party.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, if there are other people there that you like, and she's the only person you object to strenuously, you can still go and celebrate, chat a bit, and fulfill your resolution all at the same time. Plus get a look at a really gorgeous breed of cat.
Our stores also barely acknowledged Valentine's Day and are already out of the good jellybeans. Still, they haven't put out the hardcore Easter candy yet, like Peeps, so there's still time.
Oh, Peeps are out here. It's the WHOLE Easter thing. I guess I don't care if I eat a peanut butter cup shaped like a heart or shaped like an egg, but I feel bad for St. Patrick's Day. It's just getting run over entirely.
DeleteSo this party is supposedly a celebration for your friend (which, YAY!!! That is fabulous news!), but your friend will be on bed rest? Will you friend somehow magically be able to attend this party? If and only if the friend will be in attendance, I think you could go. (Could, not should, see my last paragraph.) You could even pop in for a few minutes, after inventing some reason you have to run out early. That way, you get to support your friend, and you get to count it toward "saying yes," but you don't have to subject yourself to this person you dislike.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think it would be perfectly fine to say no to an invitation if that invitation involves (much less is FROM) a person you dislike. That is a bridge too far, I think, resolution or no. The purpose of your resolution is to enrich your life by increasing the number of positive experiences, right? Or maybe it is to also increase your number of social interactions, to regain comfort with being with people? But it's purpose is surely not to force you into close proximity with someone you can't stand. Like, if you had a resolution to run every day, you wouldn't run if the soles of your feet were covered in bee stings, right? This woman sounds like a bee sting to me. I have no idea if I am making any sense at all. To summarize: I think you COULD go, but I don't think you HAVE TO.
THIS WOMAN SOUNDS LIKE A BEE STING TO ME. Ha ha ha! Most people really like her and I kind of feel for her because she's clearly an ORGANIZER and wants to DO things and I just want to huddle in my house. On the other hand, this even will probably make me sadder rather than happier, which seems to be against the spirit of my quarterly goal. Hm. Maybe I'll think hard about the bee sting analogy.
DeleteAs happy as the news is, the idea of throwing a party for a friend's good medical news seems very strange to me! Does the 'patient' know about it? Is he okay with it? Just so odd. I agree, you could go, but I don't think you have to go, and it would certainly be one I would hesitate to say yes to, resolution or not.
ReplyDeleteThe 'patient' was on the text string (he originated it with his good news), but didn't say anything after that. I don't know what he thinks, but he's a lot chiller than I am and he probably wouldn't think much of it. I'm probably not going to go, despite my intentions to be in the spirit of my quarterly goals.
DeleteI live by the guideline "when in doubt, don't." This doesn't mean I don't do things. It means I make sure I know why I do what I do before I do it.
ReplyDeleteHa! If I lived by that guideline, I would never leave my house. *sigh*
DeleteHere's what I would do: if my friend was going to be there, I'd go. Even if it was just a quick drop-by scenario "sorry, I can only stay for 1/2 hour! Love you! Mwah!" I would go. But if he wasn't, I would just send my regrets. I like parties, and if there were people there that I enjoy seeing, I would go. But if not, I'd pass.
ReplyDeleteRight. Well, if you say I can pass, I'll pass. Maybe I'll spend that time making some soup and drop it off for my friend.
DeleteThe hubs and I have celebrated many a Valentine's Day with Reese's Easter eggs instead of hearts. Also I can't get enough of the warm weather in February.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want to go to the party, it's totally OK not to go. Who knows there might be something else for you to say yes to on the same night!
I've already had two Reese's eggs, so I'm 100% with you that Easter seems to have sprung early.
DeleteI agree with the folks saying that if there are other people there that you really like, go for a bit. But honestly the whole idea of it is weird and since the honoree can't be there, it sounds like an excuse for a party. Do you WANT to go? If you don't want to, don't go. Say yes to something that sounds like fun to you. Also, I get you on the grudges. I'm a holder, and I really don't like that about me.
ReplyDeleteMy father and his family are super grudge holders, so when I start holding grudges like them, I try to really stop myself. It's not a great characteristic, is it?
DeleteBeing an introvert, any excuse to pass will do. And this does seem like an event most worthy of being passed over.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate everyone giving me permission to skip it!
DeleteI think if you're trying to get back into the swing of going out, then deliberately going to something that you know you won't enjoy is probably not the best approach. You probably want to have a positive experience if you're forcing yourself to go out?
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right, but I'm not sure I'd really have a great time in any circumstances at this point, so the goal of the goal was to force myself to just try. Unfortunately, I don't think this is going to be the outing for me to try.
DeleteI ... don't even know what to say. There's no way the friend can be there? But it's a party to celebrate him? Without him there? And people are into it? I'm so confused. How could anyone not like your dog? Ugh, but you're trying to say yes to invitations. This is TERRIBLE. I am getting second-hand annoyed anxiety.
ReplyDeleteOh, no! Don't get anxiety on my part! I'm not going to go! I've decided! The hard part is over and now I can just go about my day.
DeleteIf you went to the store on the 13th, maybe the V-Day selection was just picked over already.. I feel like the holiday candy (for all holidays) seems to get wiped out earlier and earlier. But at our store, it seemed there was a large selection over a week ago when I was there picking a few things up. So who knows! I've mentioned this before, but I'm not too big on any of the holidays post-Christmas (so like V-Day, Easter, etc.), mostly because I think I get burned out on Christmas (because I do SO much for Christmas...). I tend to kind of go through the motions on these other ones. I do always put together a little treat bag for the boys, and I guess when they were younger I'd do some fun activities with them like decorating cut out hearts, etc. But now I'd honestly be fine skipping it. ha. I got my husband a couple bags of white chocolates that he likes, and he bought me a cute little heart necklace (which is nice, because I actually don't own anything similar).
ReplyDeleteOh, and I spent the first half of reading this post thinking, as I always do when I see ginormous dogs like mastiffs or St. bernards or great danes, how terrible it must be to pick up their enormous poops. LOL.
Yes, I can see how the post-Christmas holidays could be too much if you go all out in December. I just find the winter blahs so blah that I will grab hold of any excuse to celebrate. Ha. I also like the built in excuses to send snail mail (Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter). Things get harder in May through September because there aren't really general Hallmark holidays that make it appropriate to send cards.
DeleteI think go because if you don’t go too many times you won’t be invited anymore and then FOMO.
ReplyDeleteHa ha. I never have FOMO. That would imply I want to be around multiple people at the same time.
DeleteHannah is so funny and I love that she's doing better around men and other pups! All your hard work and love is paying off.
ReplyDeleteHmmm....the party. If your friend (who the party is for) isn't going, I'd probably not attend unless you enjoy some of the other attendees. Also, Maine coon cats are amazing!
Maine coon cats ARE amazing. They're so big and cuddly.
DeleteUgh, I'm sorry but this is SO WEIRD to me! The person FOR WHOM THE PARTY IS FOR cannot even be there, but she's going to throw a party to celebrate his good news?!? WHAT? If I was this guy, that would just make me sad that I couldn't be there but all of my healthy friends were able to celebrate and party. I would turn down the party invite but instead go visit your friend during the party time to spend time with him ((haha, is that petty?!?!)
ReplyDeleteI honestly might just go visit my friend during the party time instead! Or at least just drop some soup off for him if he's not up for visitors.
DeleteHuh, that is an interesting decision to have a party... That's now the reaction I would have but I am very low key about things in general. Since you don't care for this person, I'd skip, but it sounds like that is already what you are doing!
ReplyDeleteSkip it I did! I made some treats and took them over to the patient instead.
DeleteUgh, weird. Why would she throw a party? Is the cancer patient able to attend? I mean, it's just like... a sweet idea in theory, but not in practice? DID YOU GO??? (Is this more about her than him??)
ReplyDeleteI did not go. I will probably have to interact with this lady at some point and I promise that I'll keep everyone updated on how that goes.
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