1) Update to my husband's rhabdo situation: You guys, it's not good. His CK levels were high after he helped me carry in groceries! They can't figure it out and it's very frustrating. I started to write about it, but I just want everyone to know that an otherwise healthy man in his 40s who cannot carry a 24-pack of fizzy water without causing literal muscle breakdown is NOT COOL.
2) Now he has a man cold, too. He is not a good patient. I love him dearly, but if he doesn't figure out a way to deal with his congestion in a manner that is not snapping at me whenever I so much as breathe, I might have to murder him.
3) In Birchie's most recent post, she wrote, "I'm taking a beat to think about my fitness life. It feels like it is a constant cycle of hard work and exhaustion with no clear end game." I wrote a small novel in her comment section about how I am exhausted/tired ALL THE DAMN TIME. Like...this has been my entire adult life. I graduated from college and became exhausted.
I wake up thinking about how I can take a nap or get to bed early. I nearly fall asleep in every yoga class. I daydream about my bed. By Friday evenings, I am literally agape at people going to the bars downtown as I'm walking the dog. Who has energy for that after working all week?
And here I am learning that it's not like this for everybody?!
4) On the bright side, my pap smear results came back fine so everyone I can quit worrying about having to go through torture again. (And then get charged $700. America, fuck yeah.)
5) On even brighter side, my nephew is not happy with his already good ACT score. He asked me to help him improve it! Yay! I was in test prep for twenty years and I'm very good at standardized tests (*brag* I was a National Merit Scholar and got a fellowship for grad school based on my GRE scores *not so brag* this has not meant actual success in grad school or life), and I've been waiting EIGHTEEN YEARS for one of my niblings to ask me to help.
I ordered books, set up a Webex meeting, and we had a grand old time discussing parts of speech and comma usage on the ACT. By the end of the meeting I had him saying things like "the ACT doesn't like commas, so I bet the answer is F" and "well, you can't separate two complete ideas with a comma." I AM WINNING AT AUNTING.
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Anyone else having a spouse who isn't a good patient? How do you prevent yourself from committing a crime?
Anyone else chronically just want to go back to bed?
Tired us a perpetual state, but anxiety means few naps. I wasn't always tired until a few years ago, when my daughter had a regressive health situation where I had to be on alert for middle of the night disasters. Now I just hope for 6 hours at night and wind up staring st the wall a little in the day.
ReplyDeleteMaybe check for sleep apnea?
So glad you can use your test taking skills for good! And why does the ACT hate commas? I noticed that when looking over my son's practice tests. The kids usually don't let me help them with test taking. However, given I like the Oxford comma, semi-colons, and two spaces after a period, perhaps it's for the best.
Ugh. Wouldn't my husband know if I had sleep apnea? It is a good thing to ask about, I guess.
DeleteThe ACT doesn't HATE commas, but most people, especially teenagers, overuse commas. Look at that sentence I just typed! ACT has six or seven specific times it allows commas and if it's not testing one of those reasons, you shouldn't select it. If I have a low scorer, I will sometimes say just pick the shortest answer with the fewest punctuation marks and you're likely to be correct. Ha! The ACT does use the Oxford comma, so at least you'd be sure to get those questions correct!
SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A PAP TEST. WHAT IS HAPPENING.
ReplyDeleteMy spouse is not a great patient, and I am not a great nurse. But then I'm probably not a great patient either. Anyway, I am so sorry that your husband is going through this. And that you are going through this. What a weird thing this rhabdo is. I hope they can figure this out and soon. Also, omg man colds.
I'm sure you've checked all the usual things like thyroid and iron levels, on the subject of tiredness. I might also add that the amount of stress you've been through in recent years can add to the exhaustion. Stress does tire out the body and mind. I know you say it's been your whole adult life, but maybe that is also a factor? I don't know. I do know that I used to be able to go out after dinner and now I absolutely do not want to, I want to put on my jammies and read a book.
Anyway, I'm sorry you're tired and I'm sorry that your husband's health has been a concern. But yay about your nephew (I don't know what ACT tests are and I don't know what a National Merit Scholar is but it sounds impressive so I am just going to be over here beaming at you with pride)
The pap is actually covered as preventative care, but the colposcopy cost $700. Does that seem better to you because it doesn't to me?
DeleteI had something scheduled after work three days this week (fitness class on Tuesday, lecture on Wednesday, and helping with ACT on Thursday) and I literally just wanted to cry. I WANT to do those things, but where is the energy supposed to come from? At least we have more sunlight in the evenings, so it wasn't THAT DIRE.
National Merit is a competitive scholarship dealio in the States based on a test called the PSAT that students typically take the fall of their junior year. Roughly 1% of test takers become finalists. It's much more of a thing now then it was in the 1990s, but I was given a full scholarship to college because of it. ACT is also a standardized test that students take for college entrance. I'm 99% sure you don't care about this paragraph, but I always feel like I need to justify my expertise in standardized tests.
Engie, two resounding YESSES. First of all- men are babies. When my husband has a cold, he acts like he's dying. Yes- we know colds are uncomfortable. No one likes them. We all have to deal with them once in a while. STOP WHINING. Having said that- I feel really bad for your husband about the rhabdo. That's frustrating and concerning. I hope the doctors can figure out what's going on.
ReplyDeleteAnd, tired. Yes I am. I do wake up thinking about when I can take a nap. If I somehow don't get an afternoon nap in, I might fall asleep while I'm sitting on the couch right after dinner. You could argue that I stay up too late reading sometimes (ahem, last night) but even when I get seven or eight hours of sleep, I don't feel any different.
Yes, you are winning at aunting!!! Good you can put your skills to use.
I'm glad to know I'm not alone about the feeling tired all the time. I mean, I wish you weren't feeling tired, of course, but at least there's something in knowing it's not crazy. I don't even stay up late reading anymore because I just collapse at night. I'm lucky because I do sleep through the night, though. If I didn't sleep through the night, imagine the state I'd be in!
DeleteFor the first time, I am wondering if men feel colds etc more than women. OTOH, I don’t think I carry on like that, so I don’t know. Your guy has it tough for sure.
ReplyDeleteI mean, maybe they do, but my theory is that men don't have to sit in discomfort as often as women, so when they do, they hate it. The world was designed for men. They don't have to deal with seatbelts chafing them every time they get in a car, not be able to move things because they're too heavy, deal with menstrual pain every month for half their lives, or have regular exams where people shove implements up their bodies. They just don't. So if they have a sore throat and a cough, THE WORLD IS ENDING. And, I, for my part, don't have patience for it.
DeleteMy Mr got really sick last January and it was scary and awful and really made me think about the rest of our lives... AND when he gets a cold he drives me up the wall because he either pretends he doesn't have one and then we all get sick OR he's down for the count for a sniffle and I can't even.
ReplyDeleteI also feel you on the tired thing. I know stress and nonsense take a toll, but I don't understand how I used to be able to work a full day, take an hour-long boot camp, play with my toddler, and actually watch a show with a plot ON THE SAME DAY?! I don't know if I have too high expectations around energy because of growing up in a time when productivity ruled or if something is wrong or if this is what my age feels like... That wasn't helpful, but hopefully solidarity can be a little?
Men with colds. When I was younger, I thought women were exaggerating their reaction, but those women WERE NOT LYING.
DeleteAt night when my husband asks if I'm up for watching a television show, I just stare at him. Like...no? I don't teach for 1.5 hours and fuck off for the rest of the day. I work for a full eight or nine hours, come home and exercise, walk the dog, and make dinner. Now I'm tired and I don't want to have to figure out some convoluted plot on The Americans.
That is an insane amount of money to spend for a pap test. I think I have one next month too. I'm glad you have the time with your nephew and can be helpful. It's great when someone you love needs help in a way that plays to your strengths!
ReplyDeleteThe pap was covered as preventative care. It was the colposcopy that cost $700. That still seems insane to me, but what are you going to do?
DeleteIt is fun that my expertise aligns with something he needs help with! I can't believe how much fun I'm having.
You are the best aunt - useful and fun. Does the ACT have it against commas more than any other test?
ReplyDeleteI am so tired. Is it the time change? Is it the weather? Is it being at the theatre until 11:30pm all last week? Is it my children who wake up at 6:30am? Is it just being in my late 40s? Is it being exhausted by having to adult and just wanting to sleep until someone else takes care of my problems?
I hope all the not cool shit figures itself out and stops plaguing you soon.
The ACT definitely tests comma usage more than any other test I'm familiar with and since most people, particularly teens, overuse them, ACT regularly adds in extra commas for no reason AND THEY FALL FOR IT.
DeleteI don't know. This level of exhaustion has been with me for decades. I thought it was like a thing everyone had going, but who knows. I'm reading my original post about the rhabdo situation and it starts with me complaining about how tired I am!! Ha! At least I'm predictable.
Oh no. I am worried about Dr. BB. That is not good that basic activities are problematic. I really hope they get to the bottom of what is going on! That is not sustainable! But yay for a normal pap. What a relief.
ReplyDeleteI feel you on being exhausted all the time. Weekend naps are a recurrent part of my schedule. I feel like everyone else is functioning on less sleep just fine but I'm so dang tired. I'll also say that I'm very frustrated with the body composition changes I've gone through in my 40s. I work out very hard 3-4 hours/week but it doesn't seem to matter. Sigh.
I literally wrote nap on my to-do list last weekend and I just didn't have time. This weekend is supposed to be Blizzardgaden, so I'm definitely prioritizing sleep.
DeleteAccording to Tara, I'M the spouse who isn't a good patient. Rude! And I disagree anyway. I really don't feel like I'm any worse than she is. Fortunately, neither of us gets sick very often...but when I do, I try to power through and stick to my usual routine.
ReplyDeleteDr. BB didn't get sick for years surrounding COVID and now he gets every respiratory bug and that's not his fault, but how he handles it IS his fault. And he's terrible.
DeleteUgh, man colds. My husband wants me to check his temperature and bring him things, and he knows me well enough to know that I hate this shit, so he resents me for not caring. I may have made some of this up, but I know he feels unloved when I don’t fuss over him, but OMG, just go to bed and heal. When I’m sick, I just want to be left alone to die. Props to my husband though because he DOES want to help and baby me, so it’s not all one way. Of course, I don’t want him to, I want him to LEAVE ME ALONE. The world is better when we are all healthy.
ReplyDeleteThat damned Rhabdo! I mean, come on. What the hell. I blame COVID for everything, has he ever had COVID? It can be triggered by viruses I think. UGH.
I don’t think your husband would necessarily know whether you had apnea, unless you woke him up gasping for air. I know lots of folks who have had it and their spouses didn’t know. Do you snore? Not everyone who snores has it, but it’s a common symptom.
I’m thrilled that your PAP came back normal, and sorry about the $700 for the other diagnostic. BAH.
Ughghggh, health stuff is bad and ongoing health stuff with no clear explanation or cure is THE WORST. And man colds - I agree with you, men are not used to discomfort and they are babies at the merest whiff of it. I had been working through knee pain for weeks and just assuming it was normal aging, and my husband came home having hurt his knee declaring "I HAVE TORN MY ACL" (he had not). I should admit that he is not the worst for man colds, though.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, always tired. I did have undiagnosed sleep apnea for years, and I am maybe not QUITE as tired since being treated, but it has not been the magical solution many people found it to be.
Congratulations on the stellar aunt-ing. Glad you got that win. Glad for your nibling too.
All the health stuff--AACK. It's exhausting and worrisome, and more of that kind of thing is the last thing on Earth any of us needs right now. Stress is a killer, Engie, and it can fuck up your entire body. I'm so glad that you can at least take a nap now and then. I've never, ever been able to. And I'm glad you're getting a chance to do a Wonderful Aunt Deed that uses your expertise as well as help a young family member. I hope that helps a little in that it brings you some satisfaction and happiness.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is usually pretty good about being sick or hurt until he gets frustrated. Then he gets snappish and snotty, and I have to Let Him Know About It. Also? He refuses to listen to me regarding taking meds or doing anything I suggest to help. I have no idea why since I am always right.
Hang in there. Maybe think about what you can cut loose until you feel more rested?
I'm so sorry your husband is still having Rhabdo issues. I hope the docs can get it figured out soon. I grew up being told NO Oxford commas, and now all the grammar checking software flags me for needing a comma, and I'm just confused all the time! Maybe I need to take a lesson to refresh my skills. But that would take away from my time watching Ted Lasso, which I just started, and I love it so much!
ReplyDeleteYou get up really early every day, work a full day in the office, and also exercise and walk the dogs - of course you are tired. I feel like that's normal for that level of activity? When I used to get up early and work in an office all day I'd fall asleep on the couch at 7pm and I wasn't even 30 yet.
ReplyDelete