Stephany is a thirty-something who lives in Florida with her two cats. In addition to her blog, Stephany Writes, she also co-hosts a podcast called The Friendship Paradox - you should definitely subscribe to both! On her blog, she writes about working from home, reading (so many good book recs!), travel, and life as an Enneagram 9. Please welcome Stephany!
Hey everyone! It was so exciting to be approached by Engie to write a post to celebrate her 20th blog anniversary. What an amazing milestone – congrats, my friend!
I spent a lot of time thinking about exactly what I wanted to talk about for my guest post, and ultimately, I decided that I have a unique perspective in this blogging world of being a single lady in my 30s (and someone who has never been married or in a long-term relationship, either). I wanted to give everyone insight into what it’s like being a 30-something single gal.
1) Everyone is online dating.
If you’re single these days, you’re most likely on dating apps. And you’re most likely on multiple dating apps. I cycle between Hinge and Bumble myself, and there’s a lot of work that goes into online dating. You have to have the perfect mix of photos (both selfies and full-body shots), the perfect profile, the perfect messages, etc. And you have to spend a LOT of time swiping and messaging, all to hopefully go on one date that may or may not turn into anything. [Note from NGS, an old married woman: This sounds terrible.]
2) My time is my own.
One of the things I love the most about being single is that I don’t have to answer to anyone else. I can go out for dinner spur of the moment without checking in with a significant other. I can build my weekend to look exactly how I want it to look (which usually entails multiple naps). I can sleep late, watch too many hours of TV in a row, and go to bed late all because I want to.
3) Being single is expensive.
I recently saw a stat that the salary needed to live comfortably as a single adult in the area I live in is nearly $95,000. Imagine that! You have to almost break six figures just to live comfortably. Not many of us are breaking six figures, unfortunately. Everything is more expensive as a single person (especially rent and utilities) because you’re not splitting things up (unless you have a roommate, which I refuse).
4) I get to decorate my apartment exactly the way I want!
I don’t have to worry about melding different decor choices or making room for my partner’s collection of LEGO displays. All the decor choices are mine and mine alone.
5) I get the bed all to myself*.
Nobody is hogging my blankets or complaining about my snoring or keeping me up with their snoring. If I ever do end up living with a romantic partner, we may have to have separate bedrooms.
*By myself, I mean me and my two cats, Eloise and Lila, who always have a spot on my bed.
6) “You’ll find your person when you least expect it” is the worst advice.
Please stop saying this to single people. I have tried the “stop looking and you’ll find them!” method and it does not work!
7) I love my friends who are in other stages of life.
One of my best friends is a mom of three and often, hanging out with her means having dinner with her family because she just can’t meet for dinner any old time. But I love that it means I get to spend time with her kids and build a special relationship with them.
8) I love coming home to a quiet apartment.
Sometimes I think it would be nice to come home to another person, but most days, I love that I come home and it’s just me and my cats. My apartment is where I can recharge and it’s much easier to do that when I’m not dealing with the emotions of another person.
9) All podcasts, all the time.
I don’t have to worry about disrupting anyone else in my home, which means I can have my podcasts/audiobooks going at all times of the day. When I’m cooking, when I’m doing my skincare routine, when I’m working, when I’m playing games on my phone while lying on the couch, when I’m cleaning, etc. No earbuds, no problem!
10) Not draining my introvert battery on other people.
I took a test once and scored 94% an introvert, so I am firmly an introvert who needs a ton of alone time to recharge. So it’s helpful that being single means I don’t have to use up my social battery on a partner’s family and friends. It can be a lot of work meeting new people and trying to make a good impression, and I like that it’s not something I have to worry about right now!
11) There is magic in a good first date.
Bad dates tend to outweigh the good dates these days, but when I’m talking with someone who is easy to communicate with and then we go on our first date and have a fun time?! There’s magic in that. The hopefulness and joy that comes with a really good first date cannot be overstated.
12) I have to be intentional about making plans.
Since I work from home, if I’m not intentional about making plans, I can go multiple days in a row without interacting with a human face-to-face. And that’s not good for my mental health. (Reminder: Introverts need to be social just like extroverts! We just don’t need as much social time.) Having a partner means having a built-in person to do stuff with, which is something I strongly desire at times!
13) Coming out.
I also don’t think I would have been able to come to terms with my queer identity if I had gotten married in my twenties. Being single as an adult has allowed me to explore this part of my identity and come to terms with what it means for my life. I’ve always known I was queer but I don’t think I would have the opportunity to be fully myself if I was partnered in a heterosexual relationship.
14) I can watch whatever TV I want, whenever I want.
Trashy reality TV? Check. Rewatching the same old comfort sitcom over and over again? Check. Drooling over Bridgerton? Check. I don’t have to watch “my” shows when my partner isn’t around or only watch certain shows when my partner is around because they’re “our” shows. Nope!
15) Being able to invest in my hobbies.
One of the great benefits of being single is the ability to invest in hobbies. Between blogging, reading, podcasting, writing, exercise… being bored is a rarity for me. I always have something I could be doing! [Note from NGS: This does not have to change when you get married, friend! I still have hobbies and they are different from my partner's hobbies. But you are right that I can't just watch old episodes of Survivor whenever I want to.]
16) I don’t have anyone to share chores with.
It’s up to me to make sure my bathroom stays clean, the dishes get washed and put away, the laundry is done, the litter boxes get scooped. It would be nice to pass off some of those chores to someone else!
17) Nobody steals my food.
I can’t tell you how many times my mom has gone into her kitchen to get a snack only to find out her husband has eaten said snack. I don’t have to worry about that! My snacks are mine and I don’t have to share my food with anyone.
18) I’ve developed a deep bond with my mom.
I don’t think we would have such a close bond if I were partnered because a lot of the energy I give to her would be given to someone else. She’s become my person. We go on vacation together, talk with each other on the phone every day, and spend a lot of time together. It’s a beautiful bond we have!
19) I struggle with loneliness.
I don’t want to lie to anyone: The loneliness that comes from being single can be really difficult. It hits me especially hard on the weekends, and Friday/Saturday nights tend to be the worst. I try to stave off these feelings of loneliness by making plans with friends or my mom, but that’s not always possible. And sometimes, I just have to be with my loneliness and let it be okay to be sad about being single.
20) My life is not defined by my marital status.
Last week, Lisa talked about her surrogate big sisters when it comes to marriage and motherhood. And now I’ll talk about how Lisa is my surrogate big sister when it comes to being single. When I started reading Lisa’s blog, she was turning 30 and single, and I found so much inspiration from her. I was 23 at that point and already feeling sorry for myself when it came to my single status. I felt “behind” as all of my other friends were in committed relationships or getting married. While she’s now a happily married mom of two kiddos, she was in the trenches of dating in her 30s, and I learned a lot from how she approached being single and dating. I remember her saying, either to me or on her blog, that she had to get to a point where her life was full and wonderful without a partner. She had to be happy with knowing she may never find a partner to share her life with and know her life will be just as valuable and worthy. It was excellent advice and I’ve spent a lot of my thirties doing the same: building a life I love, without a partner, and I’d say I’ve done a pretty good job of that. [Note from NGS: Your life seems super full and wonderful to me! You make being single look like a lot of fun.]
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Who else is in your bed at night, from pets to partners? Does someone steal your snacks? Have you ever been on a dating app?
I usually wait until I am at my work computer to comment on your posts, NGS, as I cannot figure out how to comment on your blog from my phone. But I had to log into Phil's computer and comment right away after reading #20! I'm so touch, Stephany! I did not have many role models who were single in their 30s as many marry in their 20s in this part of the country so I very much had "the cheese stands alone" kind of feelings a la the farmer in the dell. But I think it was a blessing that I didn't meet Phil until my 30s. I don't know if I would have had the happy, stable marriage I have today if we had met in our 20s. I had some things to work through and needed to find inner happiness before I was ready to meet someone. That's not to say you can't work through things while you are married but I am kind of a different person today than I was in my 20s...
ReplyDeleteI sleep with my husband, Phil. When we had a cat (who now lives with my MIL) she slept in our bed as well but she is Phil's velcro kitty so I wouldn't feel her presence much. I am the snack stealer in our house honestly... If it was up to me, we would not have ice cream in our house because I am an abstainer, not a moderator like my husband. Yet he continues to buy moose tracks ice cream and then kind of goes "womp womp" when he opens the container and sees how much has been eaten. I have told him he should just buy ice cream with gluten in it and yet he doesn't...
I was on dating aps in my 20s (mostly match) and then the fall that I met Phil, I had a profile writing party with some college girlfriends because it was not working to try to meet someone organically. So we created an okcupid profile and then a couple of weeks later I got a linked in message from a woman I knew in college asking if I was interested in being set up. I had gone on a couple of okcupid dates at that point but deactivated my profile when I got home from my first date with Phil. Besides that "you'll find it when you aren't looking for it" advice, I also hated when people wanted to set me up because I was single and this other person was single so SURELY we were a perfect match. The woman who set Phil and I up was so thoughtful. She matched up because we both had ran a marathon, we both had our MBAs, we both worked in finance, and we were both pursuing our CFA designation. And Phil was intrigued by me when he found out I was a math major (there are not many female math majors). Another pet peeve from my single days were when my married friends wanted to live vicariously through my dating adventures. I loathed online dating and it was exhausting and frustrating so when they found it so exciting and, well, "cute" I wanted to explode... So add that to list of behaviors to try to avoid as a married lady with single friends.
OMG, the ice cream situation is exactly the same in my house only in reverse. I am a moderator, I love having ice-cream, and Jon just can't stay away from it (unless I buy chocolate chip mint, which he hates LOL and luckily, I love.)
DeleteLisaaaa <3 <3 Thanks for being such a huge inspiration for me always! I am also grateful I didn't get married in my 20s. I think I would be a very different person if I had.
DeleteThere are no snack stealers in our house. We just communicate about how much food we need to buy!! LOLOLOLOL.
DeleteSingle lady until my late 30's reporting for duty! I can vouch for all 20 of these statements.
ReplyDeleteThoughts:
#3 and #16 are true but there are offsets in the partnered/family edition. Regarding the average income to live comfortably...lol lol lol when you look at the non-single numbers. And then if you look at the average income for your area the numbers come back down to real life.
#6 should be on everyone's list of phrases never to say.
#7, #12, and #19 apply to partnered/family living as well.
#15 what Engie said! In this phase of life the rest of my family has other things going on that I can't join them in. If I didn't pursue my own hobbies I would literally be sitting around the house doing nothing right now.
Currently my husband and I are the only ones in our bed, but as soon as the puppy gets older she will be joining us. She won't sleep in our bed (Hub's rule, not mine), but she will join us for a nightly reading/cuddle sesh before moving into her own bed at lights out.
Why yes I have been on a dating app - that's how I met the Hubs!
The average income number for a married couple with kids was over $200,000 and I'm just like, "Howwww did we get here?!" It's insanity.
DeleteYesss, we all have to have our own hobbies, single or partnered! I do think I have more time to invest in my hobbies than partnered people, but it's important to have your own stuff separate from your partner.
I remember that the number required to live in the Twin Cities comfortably when I was there was something like four times my income. I made it work, though! I did almost always have roommates, though.
DeleteYeah, you probably do have more time to devote to hobbies than someone with a partner, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you're clear in expectations/priorities with a partner from the get go, things don't have to change. Now, if you decide to have children or accidentally adopt a special needs pet, time will become an even more precious resource!
This was so fun to read, Stephany -- your life seems full and satisfying from my perspective. I love the relationship you have with your mom and how much care you have put into making your space feel beautiful and personal and warm. As a fellow introvert, I do envy you the ability to be entirely alone, although I empathize with the feelings of loneliness. Weirdly, it is possible to feel lonely even with a partner and a child. Ugh. Loneliness sucks.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne, you're so right. I feel like Stephany's life seems lovely. Having a partner does not make your life automatically better than anyone else's and it's too bad unpartnered people are made to feel as if that were so. I wish I could undo society's weird obsession with marriage!
DeleteLoneliness DOES suck, and I totally agree that you can be lonely single and you can be lonely in a relationship. I think it's just part of the human condition, unfortunately.
DeleteThis conversation about loneliness is FASCINATING. My husband recently said something along the lines of everyone gets lonely and my head nearly spun around. I honestly don't remember the last time I was lonely. Alone, sure. Alone with my dog, sure. Sad, sure. Lonely, no. I wonder if it is more closely correlated with certain personality types of lifestyle choices (people with pets, children, partners or not). Such an interesting question!
DeleteSingle forty something right here! I get what you are saying on many of these points! One of my exes used to thrash around in bed and I got the worst sleep when I was with him and now I sleep like a baby on my own. I think it's kept years on my life not sleeping with him :) I am all for solo sleep; no dogs, no humans. I recently slept with my friend K's daughter, who is 10 and also has eczema, so she cuddles, scratches all night and thrashes! It was not the best sleep, but it was fun to be cuddled with by a kiddo, even though it was pretty twitchy!
ReplyDeleteI have never internet dated. It is not so much being afraid to meet someone online but I am not a fan of being glued to my phone all the time or having to spend that much time on it. Also, after doing FB marketplace, I imagine that there are probably a ton of duds and flakes in the online dating world also, and am not really interested in trying to weed out the "good" ones.
I feel SO lucky that my husband and I sleep quite well together - no snoring, no blanket stealing. We also do not sleep with our pets, so it's a restful situation. If my husband snored, I'd require he sleep in a different room. Ha!
DeleteOmg... the parallel to FB Marketplace is SO REAL. Lol. It's very true, though. You do have to spend a lot of time weeding out the duds and flakes to find the people who are actually serious about being in a relationship.
DeleteI've seen your comments here and there, Stephany; I didn't realize you were a relative *baby* :). What a great set of insights!
ReplyDeleteI feel like this is such a great post that can be useful to partnered and unpartnered people. We just need to support everyone, regardless of what their current life stage is!
DeleteHaha, THANK YOU! I will wear my baby status with pride. (I work with a lot of young 20-somethings so I feel very old at times.)
DeleteI really enjoyed reading this, Stephany! I appreciate your very balanced post about the ups and downs. As an old married lady, and one with teen/ adult boys, I can tell you that no food is safe in this house. NO FOOD IS SAFE. I used to do a lot of baking for school events and I had to put it in separate containers with signs "do not eat" or "eat this one." Once my husband ate my contribution for the dinner that the PA made for the teachers on parent/ teacher interviews.
ReplyDeleteWe were visiting a friend in Niagara and he told us that the secret to their marriage is separate beds. I don't think I would go that far but we have a king bed, which gives us space.
Internet dating sounds like a lot of work, but then again, I'm trying to remember what dating was like for me. I guess it was going to a bar or meeting someone at university? It was considered a bit scandalous at the time if you met a boyfriend at a bar, I cannot remember why. Anyway, I'm sorry you are lonely at times, friend. It does sound like you have a lovely full life, though. xo
It seems crazy to me, Nicole, that people ever met each other pre-Internet. I was lucky enough to meet my partner in grad school, but if I'd not met him there, I bet I would still be single! I never leave the house, so if I don't meet someone at work, where else would I? I guess blind dates maybe? We must have really relied on our personal networks a lot more.
DeleteOh, I remember being scandalized if I found out someone had found their partner at a bar! And also if they found their partner through online dating, haha. Now it feels almost romantic to find a partner at a bar!
DeleteI know other couples who have separate beds and love it. It's a consideration!
Stephany, I think this is why I love your blog. I LOVE getting the perspective of a young, single woman- and honestly, I secretly long for a lot of things you've described. (Don't worry, family- I won't desert you. But...) It sounds wonderful to have the freedom you have, the ability to set your own schedule, decorate how you want, comfortably sleep in your own bed without someone snoring next to you (ahem.) When I read about your life I feel like I'm living vicariously. Of course there are downsides- I can see how it could be lonely. But there are downsides to being married as well. So... I guess the takeaway here is, just live your life to the fullest. Single, great. Married, great. But your marital status truly doesn't define your life.
ReplyDeleteThe grass is always greener on the other side, right?! Sometimes I think I could be living closer to my friends or family if I hadn't married my husband, but then I wouldn't have my husband. You're right, Jenny, we should just always live our lives to the fullest because we don't know how long we have in this world.
DeleteYesss - love this perspective, Jenny! We always want what we don't have. I often wonder what my life would look like if I had a partner and kids. Like, how would I be a different person? Who would be these other people in my life? What would I be doing and where would I be living? It's a fun exercise to think about from time to time, as long as I don't ruminate TOO much because this is the life I have and I need to be grateful for that!
DeleteSince I've been basically coupled up since I was 16, I never got to experience the single life (although I think I would have thrived on it) and I love reading about your life, Stephany, and I also feel like it's full and wonderful in so many aspects. You've been working so hard on getting to a place where you're happy with who you are and where you are in your life!
ReplyDeleteI think there are always "good and bad" things about being single or in a relationship . Jon definitely steals my snacks LOL but I am also very happy to be able to say that I've never had to be on a dating app... it sounds terrible.
Dating apps sound horrible. I did meet some people from internet chat rooms in my early days online, but that seemed different somehow. Like, it was more spontaneous and like we weren't necessarily looking for dates in that forum. The apps just seem so formal to me. What if you're not clever with your responses? Or if you don't photograph well? Or men send you inappropriate photos? I'm too old/prudish for that!
DeleteThe dating apps can be A LOT. I don't love them but they are basically a necessity if you want to date in this day and age. Be grateful you've never had to worry about them!
DeleteWho else is in your bed at night, from pets to partners? My husband (when he's not travelling). We have a king-sized bed - which I know Engie has thoughts about - but I LOVE having a big bed. It's almost like having separate beds which kinda sounds awesome, but makes it easier to cuddle in the morning and, uh, other things. BUT I NEED MY SPACE WHEN I SLEEP. (I do know multiple couples, admittedly in their senior years, who have separate bed and separate bedrooms and I can see the appeal!)
ReplyDeleteHave you ever been on a dating app? No - and I don't think dating apps were a thing when I met my husband. I didn't even have a cell phone when we met. Can you imagine?
No big beds in this house! I also know a lot of older couples who have separate rooms. I hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does, I guess that's the way life goes.
DeleteHow did we do things pre-cell phone? I didn't get a cell phone until I was a senior in college. How did we meet at airports? Or find our way to a new address? Or travel internationally?
I started using dating apps when I was 23 or 24, and even then, it was mostly the web-based version of OK Cupid. So not really dating apps like they are today! I'm still astonished at how we did anything pre-cell phones, haha.
DeleteThis was lovely to read Stephany! You are similar to my daughter in many ways, though she still lives at home. She has tried online dating but it destroys her self-esteem, so I don't think she's done much of it lately. We are very close, probably closer than we would be if she were in a committed relationship.
ReplyDeleteI met my husband when I was 21. I had a roommate, and went from there to living with my husband, so I've never lived alone. My husband and I have opposite tastes about so many things, sometimes I think about what MY house would look like vs. what OUR house looks like. Also, HIS house would look different I'm sure.
My step-mom met her last partner on an online dating sight. My dad died in 2017, and she was so lonely...especially during the pandemic. Her partner died last year, and I think she's venturing out again.
My husband is very against having a dog sleeping in our bed. I don't know how I would feel about it. Mulder used to sleep in our daughter's bed, and she was fine with it, but would tell me how he woke her up scratching up the covers or whatever. I guess I'd have to give it a try to find out. When I still lived with my mom, we had cats, and they always slept in our bed, and I liked that.
My husband is anti-pet in the bedroom, too. The dog and cat aren't even allowed on the same floor of the house as the bedroom! If something ever happened and Dr. BB wasn't around, the first thing I'd do is let the cat sleep with me. LOL. Don't tell my husband.
DeleteI lived with my mom until I was 27, and honestly, part of me would love to buy a house with her and my stepdad. It feels impossible to own a home on my own, but if we went in together, it would be much easier. And I would love to live with her again. I feel like my relationship with my mom is very similar to the relationship you have with your daughter!
DeleteMore things you have in common with my daughter:
DeleteShe LOVES her big bed all to herself. When I have had to share a bed with her on trips or so on, I wake up bruised. She has had a full size bed of her own since she was 2, so there's that.
Also, she's queer, though not entirely out. She feels safe to be out with her friends and at work, and with my side of the family, but not with Ted's family, so we respect her wishes and they do not know. (So I don't mention it on my blog at all.)
Also, she's pretty introverted, and likes to be intentional about making plans. She loves being social with her friends, but then needs time to recharge at home. It's been an education for my husband, I think, because he is definitely extroverted and LOVES going out with people, to loud concerts, etc.
Also, she's a big time Swiftie. :-)
Love all of this, J! I think I would get along FAMOUSLY with your daughter!!
DeleteStephany!!!!!!!!!!! Lover her podcast. Her and Bri have such great chemistry, they are amazing hosts.
ReplyDeleteI sleep with my partner. When he travels, I sleep alone and have the whole bed to myself. Our kitty, Athena, does not like to sleep in our bed.
T and I actually met on match.com back in 2010! Honestly, people have horror stories about online dating, but I have to say the guys that were on match were all nice, but obviously chemistry were not with all of them.
I love people who met online in what I think of as the early days of apps. It gives me such hope that the people of today who are trying to meet someone will be able to!
DeleteSuch kind words - thank you, Daria!
DeleteI had no idea you met T on Match - that's so cool!
Another of my favorite bloggers! I so appreciate Stephany's insights and reads and posts and her authenticity in sharing wherever she is in life.
ReplyDeleteMost nights, it is just the Mr. and me in our bed, even though we have talked about bringing a bed for our accidental dog Bella up to our room. On Tuesdays, the Mr. plays in a dart league, so I have our 10-year-old daughter in the bed for a sleepover (we watch a lot of Doctor Who and YouTube makeup tutorials). Otherwise, every now and then I find a rogue stuffed animal or book that she leaves when she hangs out in our bed (her favorite laze the day away place). She steals all my snacks (and Bella would sure like to, too)!
Oh what an interesting post! As a married person with a lot of kids I am a bit envious of many points here. For instance - the bed! A whole bed to yourself!
ReplyDeleteI think If I lived alone I would discover than I am actually far messier than I think. Not having anyone to share chores would be hard.
Online dating sounds hard!
A whole bed to myself is so very nice, haha! And I do tend to be a lot messier, I think. I try to keep the place tidy but some chores fall to the wayside until they MUST get done, lol.
DeleteThe quality of my meals goes way down when my husband isn't around, I'll say that much. I bet if I lived alone my status as "healthy eater" would be entirely lost.
DeleteStephany, I'm sorry I missed this post when it first was published. It's delightful, and so are you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so old that I was already married when I went online for the first time. I met my husband in college in a golf class--phys. ed. credits were required back then (about a hundred years ago). He criticized my swing, I told him to go to hell, and the rest is History.
All the benefits of Single Life sound wonderful, actually. And many are quite similar to what I enjoy as a retired spouse! When Rick is gone at work all day, I have the house to myself; it's very quiet with just me and the two cats.
I'm going to go against the trend here and say that Rick and I have separate bedrooms. One reason is due to his awful snoring. I can wear earplugs, but they're not comfortable, and I worry about not being able to hear a thing all night long. The second reason is that he has a complex and terribly annoying 3 Alarm System for waking up on workdays. As a retired person who does NOT have to wake up, it's torturous to have an alarm go off, then 15 minutes later a phone alarm go off, then 10 minutes of music. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, does he finally get up. If I don't get decent sleep, I get a migraine, so separate beds/bedrooms was an absolute must. Sometimes we have sleepovers, but they always end in one of us going back to our room.
And there's no snack stealing. We like different flavours of ice cream, and we usually ask if the other minds when we're about to finish the last of something. I don't snack much, either, so it's not a Thing.
If my husband snored, we would 100% have separate rooms. Non-negotiable!
DeleteOOOH!! Nance, I work at a university and 1-credit of PE is required for graduation still. You can do it with a boring lecture class (exercise is important, here are some tips on good nutrition) or with activity-based classes (I'm sure you can figure out which ones I regularly suggest students take). Most accredited colleges and universities still require PE!!
Nance, I think the number one reason that couples have separate bedrooms is snoring! And while I love Rick, that waking up process would make me homicidal. I wake up, and I get up, I can't even handle someone wanting to push snooze once. I would say separate bedrooms saved your marriage!
DeleteYesssss to all of this! I love that you have separate bedrooms - you both deserve to get good sleep and if separate bedrooms is what it takes, that's what it takes!
DeleteI would definitely need a rule for snack stealing. I had a roommate in college and her boyfriend would always steal my snacks and soda without telling me, and it made me so mad!
The snooze would be the LAST STRAW for me. Just get up!!
DeleteI'm a single woman in my 50s and boy did this resonate! My difference is that I've lived with my mother for the past six years. I obviously have a bed to myself (well, for me and the cat), but I do still miss some of the joys of living alone. Leaving things to put away later without them being in anyone's way...not having too many tempting snacks in the house that I will always eat...NO ONE TALKING ALL THE TIME. Ahem. I do wonder sometimes how I would have changed if I had married, but I don't expect that to change. And I'm okay with that.
ReplyDeleteYes, I really love that I can be as messy as I want without worrying about other people. And it's just MY MESS. I would get annoyed if I was dealing with other people's messes, lol. Living alone is the DREAM!
DeleteI love this exchange. Just two single ladies talking about how great it is to be single and sleeping with their cats.
DeleteI love reading Stephany's blog for her honesty and book reviews.
ReplyDeleteMost nights it's just me and my husband, but a couple times a week, we find a child in our bed. And, let's be honest, once in a while, a child finds a grown up in their bed.
You're too kind, Diane! Thank you so much. <3 I imagine there is a little game of bed roulette happening in a household with multiple kiddos!
DeleteStephany's book reviews are where it's at! I find the best romance recs over there.
DeleteThank you so much Stephany for sharing your views on being single.
ReplyDeleteBeing single is a state I have not really experienced. I wanted to be single for a while and then i got to know my husband. So it didn't work out for me. And I am not sure it would be for me. Or maybe it is. We are just the two of us and our biological clock is so different. Half of my weekend the mornings till 1/2pm I am all by myself doing what ever I want. He is a night owl.
I am sorry you are feeling lonely at times. My sister was single at the beginning of covid and it was really really hard for her. I love that you are so honest about those struggles too. I really appreciate that about your blog.
And thank you NGS for hosting.
I had a great time being single in my early 20s. LOL. I sort of feel bad for anyone who didn't get to experience that rush. But I can definitely see how that the endless dating cycle would get exhausting.
DeleteI would kill my husband if we were on different clocks. Literally. He'd be dead. LOL. He has to get up when I get up or else.
So late with this comment, but oh, Stephany. I get it! I'm older than you - by a mile - but completely agree that there are so many positives and yet some real drawbacks. The lack of a "someone else" to turf chores off on is one of them. I do love how you are fulfilled in your life and don't feel the "need" created by society for a partner. I have a feeling we could talk for a while about this... :)
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