Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write a blog post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the third day of the month is "Direction."
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We had to go to Menard's last weekend to buy a new toilet seat. Now, we had already replaced a toilet seat in our house and we knew there were multiple sizes (round and oval, if you don't know, now you do). However, we couldn't really remember how they were measured, so Dr. BB measured from side to side and front to back and then we got to the toilet seat aisle and found that they're actually measured by the length of the distance between the bolts that connect the seat to the bowl. We had obviously not measured that because we couldn't be assed to do a basic Google search.
Anyway. I suggest we find a tape measure (we're in a giant warehouse of home repair goods, after all), but Dr. BB takes a look and says we've definitely got an oval one, and I believed him because he said it so very confidently. BUT! Then there are three round, white, wooden toilet seats that seem to be identical, but they have three different prices!!
It turns out that they have slightly different hardware (brushed silver, polished silver, and gold). We went with polished silver and continued on our way to checkout.
We were walking down an aisle and I spotted tape measures!
GUESS WHAT DID NOT MATCH?
(This is really my fault. The man puts the wrong address into the GPS, regularly forgets to bring tickets to events, and is generally absentminded and forgetful. I KNOW this. Why did I just trust him? I mean, I give myself some credit for noticing the tape measure and thinking to use it, but I really need to do better about checking his work.)
*sigh* Dr. BB's measurements did not match with the round toilet seat, so we meandered back and got an oval toilet seat.
And then we needed to find some pet-safe snow melt, but it seems as if Menard's had decided that it's not necessary to continue to stock that in FEBRUARY IN WISCONSIN (boy, I'm shouty today) and we had to go around and around in the store trying to find it (in the very back corner of the garden center).
We went in with a list of two things and we went over every inch of that place to get those two things. And just for fun, I bought some Good and Plenty on the way out because this tiny errand that should have taken us ten minutes had turned into more than half an hour and I needed some sugar to get through the trip home.
First up, I want to know if you like Good and Plenty. I think it's delicious, but it seems as if that might be a controversial candy hot take. Secondly, I want to know what the last errand you were on that should have been quick and easy, but turned into a THING. Please regale me with stories of children breaking down, husbands forgetting basic things, and service workers just plain giving up. I want to hear them all.
Honestly, I have no idea if I like Good and Plenty, I don't think I have ever had it. I'm not sure if I've even seen it in a store. I have heard of it, but I have no clue what it would be like. It's like a mystery candy to me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is the opposite of yours. He measures everything, and he plans for every contingency. It's kind of nice until it isn't, if you know what I mean. Like, do I need to know every detail of every single option of every single item? But overall, it's good.
Good and Plenty is black licorice surrounded by a candy shell. Possibly it's not sold in Canada? (How about we do a trade. You send me some of those delicious all dressed chips and I'll send some G&P your way. Why does Canada have the best potato chips?)
DeleteMenard's is so incredibly huge that it wears me out. I've only been there once or twice; it's fairly new to our area. My son took his girlfriend there ON A DATE because that store has Everything, and he knew she'd love it. She did. She could not stop laughing at all the different stuff it had, including snacks, furniture, and home decor. It was Christmastime, so they also had all kinds of animated full-size yard things making all kinds of noises.
ReplyDeleteI always loved Good n Plenty; I haven't had any in ages, though. I don't think I've even seen it anyplace. And my husband has such an air of expertise and DIY confidence that people always think he works at places like Home Depot and Lowe's. He gets stopped and questioned all the time about stuff. He tells them he doesn't work there, but he advises them on what he knows after decades in the trades.
Ha! A date at Menard's!!! I guess I can see how it could be fun there if you weren't in the middle of some home repair crisis. My niece has cerebral palsy and when she was first learning how to use her walker when she was tiny (3ish), they used to take her to Menard's because there aisles are wide and there generally aren't too many people around. People used to ooh and aah over her. (Now she is a sullen teenager and people are more likely to give her lots of space. Ha!
DeleteYou are talk in toilets seats, and you write, “He couldn’t be assed …” A little later you shouted BUT! These are the kinds of things that I notice. 😀
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your service in pointing these things out!
DeleteHa - I feel like this happens to me all the time. I take careful measurements of every possible aspect of the thing I need to replace and then I get to the store and discover I neglected to get The One Specific Measurement. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI do not like Good & Plenty, but I am glad that there are people in the world who do.
I think I mentioned on my blog my last disastrous visit to Target -- full cart, huge lines, and my alarm alerted me that I needed to take my kid to her music lesson AT THAT VERY MOMENT, no staff around to ask if I could stow my cart. Very stressful.
The other recent frustrating outing I can recall is a random (non holiday) day that my kid had off from school, so I decided we were going to take my plants to the new plant store to get them repotted. We loaded three plants into my car, drove to the plant store... and it was closed. Sigh.
I feel like the toilet seat measurement was especially silly because we have been through it before. Why didn't we just google it? Why aren't we better at adulting (I switched this from "why are we bad adults?" in an effort to decrease bad self-talk, but I'm not sure my replacement phrasing is any better.)?
DeleteThat Target trip does sound stressful. I probably would have abandoned the cart in a fit of rage, but it seems to me that you have better control of yourself than I do.
I've never heard of Good and Plenty. Is this an American delicacy?
ReplyDeleteI'm with Suzanne; I try to plan for every eventuality and then inevitably don't have the ONE random measurement/piece of information I need to be able to make a decision at the store!
I could write stories all day about things gone awry. I've already been shouty and ranty today on my own blog - sigh - but I HEAR YOU!
I didn't realize I was going to be so shouty. Oh, well. I guess if I can't rage on my blog, where else can I?
DeleteI don't know if G&P is an American delicacy. It's black licorice surrounded by a candy shell and I've heard it called an old person's candy AND gross, so I think it might be up to the taste buds of the person eating it!
Oh...I am NOT a fan of black licorice, so I think I'll give it a hard pass. But my Dad would love it!
DeleteI can't remember what GNP tastes like. I think the answer is that if you put a bowl in front of me I'd eat it but I've never had an intense craving for it.
ReplyDeleteShoot, I can't remember the last time I had a trip that turned into a thing. That probably means that I'm due to have one. At least now I know that the answer is to get GNP for the drive home.
Well, if all else fails, it's never a bad idea to have some sugar to help you deal on the way home from a terrible retail experience!
DeleteAh, these Canadians! They're obviously deprived, not growing up with Good and Plenty. I've had to cut myself off from candy, but I used to like them. I think black licorice is controversial, but if you like it, you probably like Good and Plenty.
ReplyDeleteI can't think of any recently offhand, but I've had many, many shopping trips that turned into a day-long adventure. At least you returned home with the correct thing!
Yes, I do think black licorice is controversial, but that's because of the salted black licorice. That really is not as delicious as I want it to be. However, G&P is just sugar and more sugar, so that's a win in my book!
DeleteIs Good and Plenty licorice-y? (sorry, clueless Canadian). I don't think I like it, but one of my best friends would. The toilet seat thing is hilarious - I guess I owe my husband kudos for the time we needed one and he seemingly effortlessly came home with the right one. I have to replace the vent cover in my bathroom and I am paralyzed with fear (and laziness, let's be honest) lest I buy the wrong one.
ReplyDeleteYes, both of us should have known how to size toilet seats and I'm jealous that your husband knows about stuff like that! Don't take that for granted!
DeleteI like good & plenty but can't have it since it has gluten in it. My dad LOVES good and plenty.
ReplyDeleteWe recently went to Menards because we had a rebate check to spend from when Phil purchased our new front door last year. We came home with the most random assortment of household goods. It is so incredibly rare for us to run an errand together since one of us usually stays back with the kids. But we went on Presidents' Day when the boys had school and then followed up our Menards trip w/ a trip to Target. What a thrilling morning. ;)
We have had the exact same thing happen when Phil bought a toilet seat last year. Who knew there were so many different options for toilet seats.
Aw, a date at Menard's and Target. How sweet! LOL! There IS a lot to look at in a Menard's, though. I can imagine spending lots of time there.
DeleteI KNOW. Toilet seats are so complicated! (Ha! They really aren't and I guess if I knew the round/oval and different hardware thing, it would be easier. Now I know for next time!)
I don't like Good n Plenty, but I don't like black licorice so that's why! I'm also not much of a chewy candy gal.
ReplyDeleteI have needed a new toilet seat ever since I moved into my apartment 2.5 years ago! It's missing some sort of part where the toilet seat bolts into the toilet, so it's constantly loose and makes using the toilet VERY fun, ugh. I've thought about buying my own toilet seat but that just seems stupid since I'm a renter. I just need to call my maintenance team and make them give me a NEW TOILET SEAT, but every time I do, they just tighten the bolt and say it's fixed. UGHHH.
My husband did say it was hard to remove the bolt that wasn't broken on our toilet seat, so I think it might be a challenge to do the repair. Also, why should you spend $40 on a toilet seat when you rent?!
DeleteOMG, Menards. If I never have to go there again it will be too soon. I swear I have PTSD from going there years ago. Thank goodness I have an apartment and I'm not expected to replace toilet seats. The joys of home ownership... ;)
ReplyDelete