Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write a post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the fourteenth day of the month is "Control."
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Last Saturday, I took myself off to Madison with a list of the following things:
Art museum
Lululemon
Lululemon
Stickers
Shower oil
Girl Scout cookies (?)
Duluth Trading Company
Shower oil
Girl Scout cookies (?)
Duluth Trading Company
And, best of all, I was all by myself to do these things.
First, I took myself to the art museum on UW-Madison's campus. I got there just after opening and there were very few patrons there and it was glorious to just wander around and enjoy the art. It was quiet, delightful, and I highly recommend it if you get a chance. It's free!
Then I wandered off to a nearby mall with a Lululemon. I was looking for leggings, but they are all shiny over there, so I opted out. Then I went over to Target to buy St. Patrick's Day stickers because I needed to get some for the cards for my nieces and nephews. I wandered around a few other stores, trying to find some shower oil, but couldn't find it. I went to a nice grocery store where I found myself some lunch AND there were Girl Scouts selling cookies in the lobby, which was amazing and exciting.
I then drove to Duluth Trading Company. I did find some cotton leggings there, but let me tell you that jeans these days are...not my jam. Then I took the car through a car wash and headed home.
I know this sounds like just another day of doing errands, but I swear to you that I don't remember the last time I did anything like this. Yes, I sort of freaked out at DTC because it was very crowded. Yes, I chose to get lunch and eat it in my car instead of in a restaurant. But, you guys. I did it! I went out in the world and I survived.
It has been three years since the start of the pandemic and it has had a serious toll on who I am as a person. I have become less bold and less adventurous and I'm quite sad about it. I am trying to change and have a goal of a new adventure every month. But I'm exhausted from the effort at pretending I'm comfortable in places where I'm not, figuring out how to politely decline invitations to events I'm not yet ready for, and putting on a happy face day to day so my husband doesn't realize how much of a show all of it is.
But I am determined. This will not be the last day where I get in the car and go somewhere with an itinerary of my own control, doing things I want to do, and having a good time.
Here's to more adventures.
I'm so happy for your foray into the world, Engie... and so happy you got your GS cookies! Did they have your samoas? I love open-ended errand days like these--one of my favorite things about the summer when I'm not teaching.
ReplyDeleteYes! I got a box of samoas and a box of a kind I'd never had before - Toast. The mom working the booth (let's be clear that the actual Girl Scouts were just sitting there playing on their phones) really sold me on them. Once I open the boxes, I'm sure I'll give a report on how they were.
DeleteOh, it can be so hard to push out of the comfort zone, can't it? But if your comfort zone has shrunk more than you want it to, then yes, pushing on those walls a little, though hard, will be worth it. You did it! You had your day and got things done. Yay, you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for cheering me on. It seems silly that I need encouragement, but here we are and I'm happy to take applause!
DeleteYay! I'm glad you did this. I actually LOVE days like this- browsing in fun stores and that feeling of accomplishment from getting a couple little things you need (like stickers.) Oh, and the triumphant feeling of finding something you weren't sure you'd find, like the girl scout cookies. I do have to say it's been a long time since I went to a museum. It's just not something that I think about, but I should make a point to do that next time I have a leisurely day off.
ReplyDeleteAs far as you feeling comfortable out in the world- I think it will just take time. What you're doing is perfect. I think if you just doing it and you'll feel more and more comfortable. The pandemic lasted years, so it's unrealistic to expect that you would bounce back right away. I'm glad you had fun on this adventure!
I went to an art museum in Columbus in October and now this one. I think I might become the kind of person who just goes to art museums to kick back. It's usually so quiet and calm. I just need to figure out which ones are relatively low-cost!
DeleteYASSSS!!! Welcome to my world! To be clear, I like doing stuff WITH other people as well, but 99% of the time schedules don't line up. The best day trip that I've had so far this year was the Saturday when I drove 3 hours to see a rock garden, tour a Frank Lloyd Wright house, get fancy dancy ramen for lunch, tour a cave, and then drive 3 hours home. It was exhausting but so wonderful. I didn't mind the exhaustion because since it was just me, so it was my choice to keep staying out and doing these things or to decide that I was tired and go home.
ReplyDeleteYes! You are my inspiration. I think I'm going to take some time to figure out what's around in a 2-3 hour radius from my home and spend some time this summer/fall going on adventures. If my husband wants to come with me, great, but if not, I can go by myself! Madison, Milwaukee, and Chicago are all within that radius, so I'm sure I can come up with a lot of fun things to do.
DeleteYay! Good for you for pushing yourself toward something you want! I think it will get easier with time. But of course the past few years have taken a toll. It's been... so weird.
ReplyDeleteAlso I can't believe I missed my chance to recommend leggings! I wear leggings all day every day (although I do put on jeans if I am Going Out) and I have Many Thoughts. I think what you want are the Lou & Grey leggings from Loft. They are so soft and they aren't shiny. They would work well under dresses but I just wear them around the house with a sweatshirt or sometimes out in the world with a tunic.
Ooohhhh...great tip for the Lou & Grey leggings. It looks like they only have them in black right now, but I'll keep an eye out for grey or blue ones.
DeleteI want to have the leggings/dress look too! Tho' I have many non-dress clothes, so I'm at a standstill. I don't want to get rid of them & I don't want to buy new dresses/leggings. Good luck on the adventuring. It takes time to readjust. We are still re-adjusting - I still don't feel "normal" yet and it will still be a while, I suspect. Did you hear about the Raspberry gs cookies? Apparently all the rage.
ReplyDeleteI have A LOT of dresses. I've found that even if you have summer dresses, you can add sweaters, cardigans, scarves, and leggings, and make them work for winter, too.
DeleteI do not know if I will ever be able to eat in a restaurant ever again, to be honest with you. "Normal" may be something that never returns to pre-pandemic days for me. We'll see. Maybe I'll get braver as time goes on.
The raspberry cookies never even made it to this side of the Mississippi! They were sold on the West Coast and that was that. I hope they figure out how to make more for next year because they sound delicious and I'd like to try them!
These are what I call "fun errands." I love doing things like that on my own. I'm glad you had a day like that.
ReplyDeleteYes! They were errands, but they were mostly fun. It was nice not to have to worry about taking too much time or entertaining someone else while I was doing them.
DeleteGood for you, getting out there and getting things accomplished. You held yourself to your goal, and you did it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that it's so uncomfortable and causes you stress. It's still difficult for a great many people. Hang in there.
I will be curious to see what the long-term implications of the pandemic will be for the mental health of people. I'm hoping this doesn't completely stop me from being the person I want to be forever!
DeleteWhat a full day you had! Good for you for executing your plan! I feel like adventures can happen in tiny steps and slowly... just as much as you want, to be able to gauge what you feel up to that month, in that moment. I had a friend once who spent a month (just one month) at a Buddhist retreat and when she finished there, she came to meet me and we went to Target to pick up some things and she found it sooooo overwhelming. So yeah... getting into the wide wide world can be a lot - mentally and physicaly - never mind after three years!
ReplyDeleteI find errands exhausting - I like to see things in person before I buy, but I'm the kind of person who likes to take my time and look at every. single. option. which takes a lot of mental energy. And trying on clothes... the in and out and on and off... so much work. And then when I can't find what I want, doing the calculus about whether to try another store or not...
So awesome that you got to a museum! I want to take myself to more museums - there are so many that are free in DC and quite a soothing experience, as long as I avoid the Air and Space or the Natural History, which are over run with school groups.
I had a friend who spent a semester in Finland and we took him to the grocery store when he got back and he was overwhelmed, too! I think it's funny that we've had similar experiences with friends like that. I guess it really is a good analogy to how some of us feel coming out of lockdown!
DeleteThis day sounds -- well, wonderful. The other day as Rick and I were recognizing it was 30 years since we had met, we also acknowledge that it was three years since we were sidelined from the pandemic. And no, I'm not back. I'm back more than I was -- but not really back. As you acknowledged, it took a serious toll on me as a person, too. There are things I just don't do anymore to any degree. Movies (the two I've seen in three years) are in the morning (limits your choices!) when the theatre is empty. Live theatre has been almost non-existent for me -- and that was a huge part of my life before. Even in crowded stores, I'm still masking and try to self-isolate as much as possible. I've canceled or opted out of group gatherings. I miss those people. But .... And we've talked about the emotional toll it has taken. Like you, I am determined to expand... just how fast? That's the question.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am imagining that I'll never go to a movie theater ever again (not really a big loss to me - so loud! so cold! so much stuff going on!) or eat in a restaurant. I guess we'll see how my baby adventures go. Maybe someday it will all be completely back to the same as pre-pandemic. Right now I'm just waiting for the day I go somewhere in public and don't think about it - that seems really far away.
DeleteGreat job, Engie! I'm so happy to know you're starting to get out in the world. HOWEVER. I am bummed you didn't find your perfect leggings. The lulu align ones are so soft, and not shiny at all - in fact, I would never work out in them - I thought they'd be a hit for you. Too bad! Anyway, glad you're getting out and about!
ReplyDeleteAll the lulu leggings are made of synthetic materials, which give them that shine. I looked specifically at the align and they had the feel of synthetic and a bit of a glaze. I mostly want 100% cotton or wool leggings and I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and order some from Woolx.
DeleteI get it. I still intend to avoid crowds. Maybe a summer outdoor concert would be ok. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteI have done outdoor events if they're not too crowded. That doesn't really bother me. But eating in a restaurant? It seems CRAZY that I EVER did that!
DeleteI'm so proud of you. This is a big deal and I'm so glad you're celebrating it this way.
ReplyDeleteAnd sending the best vibes for finding those elusive perfect leggings!
I think I can get the leggings. Jeans, though, that seems impossible!
DeleteLook AT YOU!! Getting out there and enjoying yourself. I'm happy for you and keep up the momentum; it's good to be a part of the world.
ReplyDeleteYou see things differently than I because I swore the Align leggings are not shiny. Maybe my eyes are just older? 😳😜 Anyhoo, I'm glad you got out there even though you didn't accomplish all the things on your list.
Hmm..I did look specifically at the Align leggings. They only had one pair that weren't joggers (I can't do joggers because anything that bunches at the ankle like that irritates my surgical scar) and they were shiny. And also not nearly as soft as I had hoped from the recs. Oh, well. I think I have a lead on more cotton and wool leggings, so I should be okay on that front. Jeans, though, is an entirely different story.
DeleteGo you! Yay for being brave, but also knowing what's right for you. And you slipped a gallery visit in with the errands so that makes it an adventure. Bummer on the leggings and the shower-gel.
ReplyDeleteYes! Going to the art museum made it seem like it was a fun event and not just some errands. Good times!
DeleteThis makes me so happy to read! I know it has been such a struggle to get back to a sense of normalcy - even, a new sense of normalcy. These errands and tasks are exactly what you need to start to open up your world a bit more and as you do, if you feel good about what you're doing and enjoying it, it will give you the inspiration to do more and more! I'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. The pandemic has for sure changed how I do things. Carefreeness is gone. But we do have to learn to live in this world again.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you had such a good day in Madison. I used to love doing this, too. And hey, I could have met you on your shopping foray (you were literally across the street from me... ;>) BUT I am glad you took the time for yourself. If this roller coaster of work ever stops I need to get myself to the Chazen. And, I desperately want to go to the Milwaukee Art Museum. It's only a few hours - but WHY does it seem so far??
ReplyDeleteAs I think you know, I am also struggling. Big time. I hate eating in restaurants - I've done it a few times, because I needed to see the people with whom I was eating, and we met in between our places - but if given the choice? No no no no no. Take out forever. And just the thought of being in a large gathering at the School (even if it's only ~100 people) practically gives me hives. I can't even think ahead to my flight to Ireland this summer - I get too anxious. Sigh. So I hear you. I really, really do.
Hope we can have a fun adventure together again someday. :)