The Deep End

Do you remember that scene from the third season of The Gilmore Girls? The Independence Inn had a fire, it was going to cost a ton of money to fix, and the owners closed it, putting two of our beloved characters out of work. Lorelai, our plucky main character, brings champagne and apple juice over to Sookie, our newly pregnant chef, and Jackson's house and Lorelai proceeds to get S&J excited that something Really Big has happened and then toasts to "new and exciting opportunities." Do you guys remember that? Unemployment = new and exciting opportunities.

So there are a lot of new and exciting opportunities in the NGS/Dr. BB household right now.

We sit down every night and talk about Plan B and Plan C and the (not so) ridiculously farfetched Plan D. We each stay awake at night, long after we have turned off the lights, our brains refusing to rest, wondering what the fuck is happening to our lives right now.

His body is absorbing this stress, I'm sorry, these new and exciting opportunities, and is eating him away from the inside. We have been to the doctors and they tell us the same thing. Men, most of the time, react to stress by losing weight, and boy is his body great at that. My body has taken to absorbing this stress by sitting in my shoulders until I can't move my neck.

It's exhausting, this constant worry and struggle about what is going to happen.

I try, I try so very hard, to live in this moment. We are happy here in this moment. There is peace, there is joy, and there is optimism. It was imperceptible at first, but now I'm noticing that the optimism is fading day by day. The low grade worry is starting to simmer into something more to worry about.

So forgive me my silence here. We're busy working on Plan E right now.