When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O'Neal

 

On the opening page of When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O'Neal, Kit sees her sister on the TV news at a deadly fire. This might have been startling for anyone, but it was particularly startling for Kit since her sister had died fifteen years earlier in a train accident. What follows is the journey of these two sisters, backwards and forwards in time, as we examine their family life growing up and its impact on them and the decisions they made as they grew up.

I thought this was a lovely book infused with trauma informed care. I feel like both sisters make choices in their adult lives that are understandable if not always completely responsible. It takes a close look at forgiveness and the complicating factors that do or do not lead to it. Apparently it was originally billed as a mystery or a suspense novel and it definitely is not that - it's a book about families, love, and childhoods lost. It's also a bit of a travel ad for southern California and Auckland, New Zealand. 

Half a star deducted for pretty pedestrian writing. The hat examples below will show you what I mean.

4.5/5 stars

Hat mentions (why hats?why hats?): 

...I wonder if I need to grab my hat. (page 35)

...I leave the white cotton hat on the front seat...(page 35)

...I bring a broad-brimmed hat. (page 89)

...directing her three kids to put their hats back on, to stop tossing a ball among them, to sit down and stop leaning over the rail. (page 118-119)

She's wearing a simple blue sundress and no hat even in this awful land of skin cancers, plus jandals like mine on her feet. (page 221)

She has a hat in her hand, and she uses it to wave to me. (page 246)

****************

Do you think someone could write a book about the place you live and make it sound romantic? I'm not sure someone could pull that off about my town!

Happy National Rescue Dog Day!

Let's take a few minutes today to acknowledge National Rescue Dog Day and, in particular, to celebrate the one and only Hannah the Dog.

Mood #1: Pensive ennui

Mood #2: Goofy

Mood #3: Acquisitive and unwilling to share

Mood #4: Suspicious, but brave enough to check things out

Mood #5: Over It

Mood #6: Vicious

Mood #7: Hot

Mood #8: Ticked off

Mood #9: Barely tolerant

Mood #10: Exhausted

Here's to all the generic brown dogs out there. Thanks for tolerating your humans, Hannah!

****************

Your assignment: Go pet a rescue dog today and tell me all about it. And, if there are no rescue dogs near, just send out good vibes to all those dogs currently in shelters and foster care waiting for their family to discover them. 

20th Anniversary Countdown: Guest Post #5

Jenny is one of my favorite bloggers. She lives in Florida with her husband, two kids - her daughter is in high school and her son is finishing up college - and her two gorgeous cats. Jenny runs things like a 50K race that's coming up on May 26 (good luck, Jenny!), but also finds time to lift weights and cook delicious vegan food. She also reads a lot of books and anything that gets a thumbs up from Jenny gets put on hold on my library list immediately. She blogs at Runners Fly - go check her out if you aren't already a loyal reader. 

********************

Hello!  I'm so excited to be included in Engie's blogging celebration!  Engie and I "met" while participating in NaBloPoMo several years ago, and have been BBF's (best blogging friends) ever since.  I'm positive we would be friends in real life, and as a matter of fact Engie reminds me a little of my daughter - or at least, what my daughter could be like when she grows up.  Happy 20th Blogging Anniversary, Engie!!!

I really agonized over what to write about in this post.  As Engie mentioned, I blog about food, cats, books, random life events... but in the end I think a list of 20 should be what a person is most passionate about, and for me that's running.  I know not everyone reading this is a runner, but I hope everyone can find something interesting in my list of "20 Running Favorites."

1. Favorite running quote:  "A running world is a peaceful world." - Eliud Kipchoge

2. Favorite running podcast: Choose Strong with Sally McRae.  Episode titles include "Every Failure Matters," "The 5 Ingredients of Consistency," and one of my personal favorites, Episode #21, "Cocodona 250- Stronger Than the Pain," - Sally explains how she developed painful blisters AT MILE EIGHT and went on to complete the 250 mile race.

3. Favorite OG running blog: Hungry Runner Girl. I've been reading Janae's blog for over ten years - long before I even thought about starting one of my own.  Janae is a FAST runner who blogs about her training, races, and life in Utah with her husband and four kids.

4. Favorite book about running: Deena Kastor's Let Your Mind Run.  Deena describes the journey of transforming her running by building a strong and positive way of thinking.

5. Favorite place to run: trails!  I have dreams of someday running on trails in Utah, California, or Arizona... but right now I live in South Florida, where the trails are tropical and sandy. Here's one near me that I run on frequently:

6. Favorite piece of running gear:  a hydration vest for hot runs!  We need lots of water here in Florida.

7. Favorite name for a race: "Sweat, Swat 'n Swear" is my race coming up in Central Florida at the end of May!  The name cracks me up (although it also seems a little ominous, gulp...)

8. Favorite inspirational running moment: The 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles- the women's marathon was an event for the first time. I watched on TV as Joan Benoit, an American runner, won the gold medal.  The marathon ends with a lap around the track in Olympic Stadium.  In an interview after the race, Joan says that when she ran into the tunnel that would take her onto the track, she knew that "when I came out on the other side, my life would be changed forever." I still get tears in my eyes thinking about it!

9. Favorite song on my running playlist (currently): "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.

10. Favorite cross training:  None.  Ha ha... okay, if I have to have one I'll pick the stair climber.  But I'd rather be running.

11. Favorite strengthening exercise: dead bugs.  If you only strengthen one thing, make it your core.  Everything else builds from that. [Note from NGS: I know that Jenny's favorite core workout is a short deadbug workout from Caroline Girvan. Here is the link if you want to do it. It's hard!]

12. Favorite race distance: The longer, the better.  I would rather run slower for a long time than run fast for a 5K- 5Ks hurt.

13. Favorite post-long run drink: Unsweetened black iced tea with LOTS OF ICE.

14. Favorite running weather: 50 degrees and sunny.  If we're lucky, we get mornings like that in the winter here.

15. Favorite psychological benefit of running: Literally moving your body while moving forward in space is symbolic- running gives you the confidence to move forward in life.

16. Favorite running spirit animal: for a while I kept seeing a tortoise on my trail runs, and joked that it was my spirit animal.  But I'm going to go with wolf- they don't run super fast like cheetahs, but they can run for long distances.

17. Favorite race: the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot in 2018 where I WON MY AGE GROUP!  Yes, that's the only time that's happened, and yes, I'm still clinging to it.

18. Favorite thing about having a running blog: hopefully, encouraging other people to run.  Nothing makes me happier than when someone says "I went for a run and thought about you!" (But don't worry- if you don't run, I still love you.)

19. Favorite thing to see on a run: another runner!  Either that, or a deer.

20. Ultimate favorite thing about running:  Almost anyone can do it!  You don't need to be especially athletic or talented; you don't need to take lessons or have fancy equipment.  Running truly can be a sport for everyone.

*******************

What's the most-played song on your exercise playlist these days?

Five for Friday Plus One, edition #5

 1) My boss maintains a candy bowl in our office. We say that the candy bowl is to entice students to come into our office, but really it is so we, the hard-working office plebes, can get a treat. I did not realize how much I liked Paydays until this candy bowl came into my life. My boss recently took a brief trip to California and she was gone on a Friday, Monday, and Tuesday. Before she left on Thursday, she walked into my office and gave me three Paydays to make it through the time she would be gone. I made a collage of my Payday usage.

I spent ten minutes at work on this collage. A good use of time, right?

2) There has been a recent change and you can no longer return library books that you have borrowed through Amazon for your Kindle on the Libby app. You have to return them in Amazon. Unfortunately, there's no real easy way to to this and I'm annoyed. Here are the steps.

    a) Once you've logged in to Amazon, select "Content Library" under Accounts & Lists.

    b) Select "Books" in your Digital Content.

    c) At this point, a list of the books you have in your library will appear. You might have to change your sorting options, but my library books are the last three I've acquired, so they appeared right away. If you want to return a book early to benefit your fellow library patrons, select "Return This Book."

Whew! That's a lot more steps than just opening Libby and just clicking return this book.

3) I'm having a complicated traveling schedule. I told my sister I'd go to Michigan this weekend, but it's also the weekend of a funeral for a friend's sibling that I'd like to go to. I could go to the funeral and then go to Michigan the following weekend, which is a long weekend, but I'm not sure if my sister has plans for going away this weekend or what. Anyway, basically, I rarely leave the house and now I have these competing issues and I'm getting quite exhausted doing the planning.

(Ohio this weekend. Michigan next weekend. Possibly Iowa in between because we just learned my husband's 100-year-old grandmother has pneumonia.)

4) My husband's birthday is later this month. He requested a valet stand for his work office because he's annoyed that the hat rack he has is doing terrible things to his very expensive jackets. Truth be told, I'd never heard of such a piece of furniture, but now I'm down a rabbit hole. Do I buy him one that's all metal and modern?

Do I buy him one that looks like it should be in a Victorian businessman's dressing room?

Making these adult decisions is so hard. (I went with the Victorian dressing room option.)

5) The last time we were at the grocery store, we noticed some 24-packs of Sprite Cherry Lime Chill. I joked that I would like to try it, but not buy a whole 24-pack. My husband went off in search of Pepsi for himself while I meandered around the bubbly waters, wondering if my entire life right now could defend me buying some Grapefruit Perrier (answer: no, this is a treat reserved exclusively for fun road trips) and he came back with a six-pack of Sprite Cherry Lime Chill minis. Perfect!

Review: Eh. They're fine. I probably won't buy them again. 

6) My hair stylist is back from maternity leave!! I left work yesterday at 1:30 and went to get a hair cut. And then I went home and my husband was unexpectedly there and we entertained ourselves in the way that a married couple playing hooky are legally allowed to and then he went back to work and I walked the dog and then got a pedicure and then went to get groceries. I mean, it wasn't really a "shouldless" afternoon, but it was sort of gloriously relaxed. 

It reminded me that I what I really want in life is a part-time job. With benefits. But here I am working a full-time job like the plebe I am. But at least I will have glorious hair for the next 48 hours.

From my stylist's Instagram. That's my hair! The curls fell out after the walk with the dog, but never let anyone tell you grey hair can't be beautiful. 

*******************

Have you tried a new pop/soda recently? Do you need to buy a birthday gift and you're dillydallying about it? 

The Christie Affair by Nina de Gramont

Because I have been driving a lot recently, I have downloaded a few audiobooks and The Christie Affair by Nina de Gramont was one of those books.  

In 1926, the author Agatha Christie disappeared for eleven days after a fight with her adulterous husband. When she was found, she claimed to have no memory of what she did during that time. There are two main theories about her disappearance - either she did have temporary amnesia/was in a fugue state or that she intended to embarrass her husband with her disappearance, but never imagined how big the search would be for her. In the true crime community, this nearly one hundred-year-old mystery is still hotly debated. Regardless of the truth, in this book, de Gramont tells the fictionalized story of Agatha's disappearance through the lens of her husband's mistress, Nan O'Dea.  

I struggle with books that seem to glorify adultery. I don't love marriage in peril stories. And, look, Nan's defense of adultery is terrible. But there's more to this book than simply a woman defending her choice to seduce a married man. There's a mystery and a meditation on right and wrong. I found myself swaying from finding Nan's motives repulsive to a kind of sympathy to a deep sadness. 

But the story is from Nan's point of view and if you're interested in Agatha's point of view, too bad. That's not the story de Gramont wanted to tell.  

I liked how de Gramont wove together details from the true story (or what's known to be true, anyway) with things she made up whole cloth. I thought the way she connected the impact of WWI in the interwar period of Europe to Nan and Agatha's lives in particular was crafty. I loved the various settings around Ireland and England. I loved all the scenes with dogs. I did not care for a few of the themes (children are more important than any other human beings, marriage is temporary), but just because I don't like and/or agree with them doesn't mean it wasn't a fascinating listen.

4/5 stars

Lines of note:

A person who has nothing might be excused for taking one thing, a husband, from a person who has everything. (timestamp 17:38)

What an excuse for becoming an adulterer! 

She didn't even think of herself as an author. Her primary occupation and identity was married lady. That's who she was. Married...Who would she be if that were no longer the case? (timestamp 36:10)

I think this is an interesting question and I might write a longer post about identity later on. What is your primary occupation and identity?

The dogs sniffed and bayed uselessly, finally catching a whiff of a rabbit and leading the searchers on another fruitless chase. Even experts are, in the end, dogs. (timestamp 5:31:21)

Dogs be dogs.

Can a man live with a woman for so many years, sleep beside her so many nights without the molecules in his body palpably rearranging themselves in the event of her death? (timestamp 7:07:51)

This comes up in fiction all the time. (A Spell of Winter comes to mind.) People seem to think that their body will someone react when someone they care for dies and they'll know immediately. What a weird thing to think.

Nothing in the world removes the ills a wife causes like the balm of a mistress. (timestamp 8:33:27)

So much defense of purposefully becoming a mistress.

The Age of Disappearing Women. It had been going on forever. Thousands of us vanished with not a single police officer searching, not a word from the newspapers, only our long absences and quiet returns, if we ever returned at all. (timestamp 8:36:30)

So many missing people.

...petting a panting Labrador who cuddled up beside her. She laughed when the dog licked her chin and kissed him back for good measure. (timestamp 8:46:11)

There were a lot of dogs in the book. I heartily approve of this. (There is a description of a sad, violent dog death, though, so be aware.)

Hat mentions (why hats?):

I wore a pleated skirt, a button-up blouse, a loose cardigan and stockings, fake pearls, and a smart new hat. (timestamp 5:28) 

....she removed her hat, so I did, too...(timestamp 12:48)

My hat was still on my head - it had barely budged. (timestamp 22:33) 

Colleen wore a knitted woolen hat and pulled it down over her ears. (timestamp 1:12:30)

I packed my warmest clothes - boots and hats and gloves...(timestamp 2:15:15)

My hat had started to fall and he pulled it back onto my head, down over my ears...(timestamp 3:20:43)

...bundled up in a hat and coat. (timestamp 8:19:47)

...and tipped his hat. (timestamp 9:38:23)

...and put on his hat, pulled it down over her forehead.(timestamp 9:42:39)

...had forgotten to wear his hat...(timestamp 9:46:24)

Noise: Tuesday

This world we live in is so loud. I have a number of sensory issues and dealing with noise in my day-to-day has historically been a challenge. But since I have discovered the power of noise cancelling earbuds, I have been able to limit the number of times in a day when I am overwhelmed by sounds.

When I Used My Noise Cancelling Earbuds Yesterday:

6:07am - As soon as I walked out the door with Hannah on our morning walk, the sound of loud cars hurt my brain. I don't like to have noise cancelling on when I'm walking because I'm likely to miss things that might set Hannah off, but sometimes you do what you gotta do.

8:41am, 10:10am, 3:22pm - Going into our bathroom at work. The flushing sounds ricocheting off the tile is painful for me. I go in prepared now. 

4:48pm - On my after work walk with Hannah, we passed by this really loud AC unit and we were approaching a very loud, busy intersection. I turned the noise cancelling off when we passed by the intersection.

5:02pm - Turned it back on when we reached the intersection again.

6:37pm - I took Hannah outside to brush her. It was so loud - it was windy, there was someone revving their engine in the neighborhood, and someone was using a leaf blower. I was obviously not having it. I honestly wish I had something to protect poor Hannah's ears.

Note the huge amount of undercoat I brushed out. 

*******************

Is there a noise you hear regularly that sets you on edge?

In Which I Left the House

Saturday was an exciting day in our house. My husband went to commencement and I went on an adventure with the one and only Birchie!!

*******************

She was in town nearby to do a couple of tours of Frank Lloyd Wright (FLW) places and I tagged along. We met up at a coffee shop where I got a large iced decaf americano (and you should immediately hear the dum dum dum ominous music in your head). 

Stop #1: Burnham Block - Milwaukee

FLW designed these American System-Built duplexes and bungalows as affordable housing in stark contrast to a lot of the other expensive private homes he designed. One of the bungalows has been completely renovated to period specs and one of the duplexes is in the process of renovation. I am not a FLW tour expert like Birchie, so I'll leave it up to her to tell you her own rating.

Pros: It's cool to see so many buildings in one location. Some of them are in private hands and have things like aluminum siding on them (the horror!), so it's really cool to see the bones of the design in different arrangements. I saw a dog. 

Cons: The docent was really hard to hear most of the time, especially for the parts on the very loud city street.

The Story of How I Did Not Adult Well: As soon as we sat down for the introductory bit of the tour, I realized that I was like one of Elisabeth's children and I had not planned my coffee well. I asked if there was a public restroom having a memory of Birchie saying that most FLW tours did not have one. This one was no different and the volunteers were very apologetic as one of them led me to the renovated bungalow and let me use the bathroom there. Whew!

Stop #2: Lunch - The Vanguard - Milwaukee

Kim had hung out with Birchie the previous day and recommended this place for lunch. It was sort of a weird vibe with old skool WWF wrestling from the 1980s playing on the television screens and a giant poster of two wrestlers (boxers?) dominating the space, but we had excellent brats and some poutine. There were lots of vegetarian and vegan options here, if that's something that interests you.

Stop #3: SC Johnson - Racine

Then we drove over to Racine to do the tour of SC Johnson. The tour is free, but you have to go through multiple buildings that aren't FLW buildings and listen to a guide talk about how a chemical company does good things for the environment and conveniently skips over the destruction of rainforests and cultural appropriation. Don't dwell on that, though!

From the website:

I mean, it's technically true that the corporate headquarters is still on this site, but neither FLW building is in use today. Weird language on the website. (The plane(s) did not touch my heart. I am cold-hearted, obviously.)

Pros: The FLW buildings were so cool. The Administration building was amazing. FLW used these glass tubes instead of windows and I wish I could describe the inside of it using actual architectural terms, but it was just so open and beautiful. The Research Tower was sort of unbelievable. It's this crazy tower built on the cantilever principle and it's shocking that the whole weight of the tower is supported by a structure only thirteen feet across at its narrowest. Also, when I looked up at the tower, it gave me vertigo, which was kind of cool because the vertigo stopped as soon as I looked away.

Cons: Corporate marketing is uncool. 

Story About How We Were "Reminded" Not to Take Photos of Corporate Secrets: We were only allowed to take photos outside, which is fine. But then we were taking a selfie outside and the docent reminded us that we were not supposed to take photos of inside stuff. I don't know? Here's the photo. If you can find a corporate secret to start insider trading with, DO IT.

Nonsense. You can't even see us clearly.

And then Birchie headed off to her AirBNB and I went home to eat dinner. But I left my house!

Thanks, Birchie, for a fabulous day out!

Birchie is mostly anonymous online. I don't want to out her!

********************

Have you ever been to a Frank Lloyd Wright-designed building? Would you ever go on one of these tours?