Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we write a blog post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the twenty-fifth day of the month is "Relationship."
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I was the first one to book club on Sunday night. I immediately got on the ground and started petting their chocolate Labrador retriever, Lucy. She flopped over to her side so I could get her belly and I was praising her and how sweet she was and as people started arriving, they were laughing at me and how I always end up playing with the dogs when we meet.
It's true. I like dogs. I get dogs. I want them to know that they're loved.
But I don't know if I'm a good dog owner. I do the training, feeding, walking, and petting. I do the bathing and comforting when there's a storm. But have I ruined Hannah? She used to be so friendly and happy and now she's scared of everything and neurotic.
Some of this may be just that Hannah's getting older and some older dogs just don't want to be with anyone other than their family. Some of it may be that Hannah's really bonded with us now and she's protective and that's a GOOD thing, right?
But, look, even if I have ruined her, she's my best doggy friend. We spend hours together, just her and I, every single day. She protects me, comes to me for comfort, and is so excited to see me when I have been gone, even if I've only been gone for twenty minutes. I understand her neuroses and adjust so that she's as comfortable as possible. I can predict her reactions and do what I can to calm her before anything "scary" happens.
In return, she stares at me with those eyes and I know that no one will ever love me as much as she does.
Stop it, Hannah has a good life and she's in the right home. Our dog went through a "phase" (of about 5 years) where she was very shy around other dogs. This summer all of a sudden she isn't and it's a head scratcher. She plays with our neighbor's dog who she used to run away from and we took her to a family party with all of the other family dogs and she fit right in to the pack.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is reassuring. Maybe Hannah's just in a phase!
DeleteSeriously, you are the best dog owner in the entire world. You take SUCH GOOD CARE of Hannah, and I'm remembering everything you went through when she was sick. Who knows why she's going through this phase- but it's nothing you did or didn't do. Hannah and Zelda are so lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteOh, ha. Thanks for saying this. We just had a difficult walk yesterday and I was a bit defeated. Hopefully it is just a phase and she'll rebound into her good-natured self.
DeleteYou are very devoted. Her too, apparently.
ReplyDeleteI do my best to make sure she feels safe and loved.
DeleteEngie, You're absolutely the best dog person. I pick up stuff from you all the time even without realizing. Do you remember when your friend (who'd just beaten cancer) got a new puppy, and you were petting the puppy snout to tail so they'd get used to touch? I did that when we got Max... because of you! Hannah has her own personality and she probably knows what she likes now. Kinda like women who grow older and realize they can do without the B.S. they used to put up with before :D. Maybe?
ReplyDeleteHa! She's just an old lady now who doesn't want to put up with anything that makes her remotely uncomfortable!
DeleteI'm glad you took my advice about Max! Hopefully he'll be all the better/easily trained because of it!
I seriously doubt that you ruined Hannah. Dogs go through things as they age. My granddog Zydrunas is suddenly--at age 10--going through a noise aversion stage. It's almost ridiculous. My son has to choose his iPhone notification tones with Zydrunas in mind. And Z is a big 70-pound bully breed mix.
ReplyDeleteHannah has absolute trust in you, and maybe that's why she allows you to see her vulnerabilities. (Do I know this? No. I am not a Dog Psychologist.)
Nance, you are officially my dog psychologist. Oh, poor Zydranus - do you think there's something wrong with his hearing? That seems like such a strange reaction for him to have at his age!
DeleteOkay, then call me Dr. Nance! Z's vet has been informed of his noise sensitivity, and his ears and hearing were determined to be just fine. He's just becoming an old curmudgeon, we think.
DeleteMy impression is that you are an EXCELLENT dog owner. You love Hannah, you take care of her physical and health needs, you address her anxieties and keep her safe with careful training, you think of her mental, emotional, and physical needs, and you post photos of her for her adoring internet fans. I think she is in the best possible home. Had she wound up with less patient or less loving family, or with a family who loved her but didn't have the time/energy/dedication to address all of her health needs... well, she would be worse off. She is exactly where she needs to be.
ReplyDeleteWell, thanks for saying this. We had a rough couple of walks and I was feeling a bit down about her. Who knows? Maybe she's just finally feeling better and she realizes that there's a lot in this world that she doesn't like! And she's able to let everyone know that now whereas before she was too sick to even care.
DeleteI think she's just settled in and is very comfortable; she doesn't want any other dogs coming in and trying to be New Hannah. Not all dogs love to be around lots of people or other dogs.
ReplyDeleteWe have Lolo's dog Max here; he is in pure hell because he loathes the two little annoying Frenchie's. He's best as a solo dog with little excitement going on around him.
You are the best dog (and cat) mom!!
I hope she's comfortable. I just wish she weren't so nervous about changes! New people and new things shouldn't be so scary if we're with her, right? *sigh*
DeleteOh, no! Poor Max! He's just not into those two high-energies littles!!
"I want them to know that they're loved"
ReplyDeleteI think that right there is such a beautiful, generous statement.
I feel like Hannah thinks the same thing about you too.
I desperately hope she knows I love her. I wish animals could talk.
DeleteYou two sound like you have a wonderful relationship. You're well suited to each other and that's love.
ReplyDeleteI have heard the expression "soul dog" and I think Hannah's my soul dog. I wish everyone has an experience like I have with Hannah at least once in their life.
DeleteOh, Engie. I'm sorry you've had some rough walks with Hannah and you're feeling defeated. But the fact that you wonder IF you are a good dog mom means you ARE. Think about all of the work and love and attention you devote to Hannah. Other owners may just give up on her and think she's a lost cause, but you love her so fiercely that you don't accept that. You want her to live her best doggy life, and even if it doesn't seem like she is from the outside, I KNOW she is because she has the most devoted mom in the world. <3 You are doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this. I do adore that dog and I hope she's happy! That's all I really want.
DeleteYour the best dog person! Hannah is her own being with her own personality-- and I think dogs DO change as they get older. Beatrix definitely did, and we really noticed it when she was around toddler Minnie v. toddler Dorothy-- much less friendly and inquisitive as she got older and set in her ways.
ReplyDeleteYes, maybe this is just an age thing. She's not willing to put up with anything outside of her norm. Thanks for the pep talk.
DeleteDude. No one, seriously, NO ONE could love that beautiful dog more than you. No one. You are devoted to her. I'm in the camp that thinks she has a) gotten older, b) gotten more comfortable, and c) sees you as 'her people'. Before, she didn't have ANYONE. She probably didn't know any other way to be - I imagine she was suppressing her anxiety in an effort to bond with anyone who might help her. And then you did. And she feels safe, and loved, and knows that you won't reject her for her neuroses.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am psychoanalyzing your dog. Now go give her a belly rub for me, please. And maybe an ear scritch or two, too. (LOL forever at my new knowledge that it's scritch with a "c", according to Chrome, not a "k"...)