Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write a blog post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the twenty-eighth day of the month is "Meaning."
********************
 |
| The Cloud, Acrylic on canvas by Nancy Raufman |
I woke up yesterday to the sound of rain on the roof and thunder. It was quite a downpour. I also heard the dog whimpering and the cat meowing and had to make a decision about whether or not to go comfort them or just let figure it out on their own. On one hand, I want them to know that I'll always be there for them, but on the other hand, I'm not always there for them because sometimes I leave the house without them.
I listened to an episode of Death, Sex & Money called "How to Say Goodbye to Your Pets" and all I could think about was that I don't want to think about it or deal with it, but I'm going to have to. And then I smooched all over our girls, even though neither of them wanted me to. There was a guy who lost his childhood dog decades ago and hasn't had another pet since because he knows that he'd end up having to say goodbye.
I know a married couple who got divorced and she got the cat and he got the dog and when she moved out of their shared house, she never saw her dog again. I just can't imagine. It must be so hard for all involved.
So basically, I have a codependent relationship with my pets.
What worries you when you wake up early in the morning because the rain is pouring on the roof?
My parents decided we shouldn't have family pets because they worried my sister and I would be irrevocably saddened by the inevitable parting. I used to chuckle at their overprotectiveness, but I get it now. I worry about having to say goodbye to my canine babies someday--frankly it impinges way too much into my daily life. But also, the reminder that they're in double digits now makes me want to make the best of every day.
ReplyDelete"it impinges way too much into my daily life. But also, the reminder that they're in double digits now makes me want to make the best of every day." This is really how I feel. I worry about it daily, but also that takes away from my enjoyment of them. Ha! We are complicated individuals, aren't we?
DeleteI've had to say goodbye to many pets in my lifetime. Most poignant were the 18-year old family cat and the 9-year old family cat. Each had to be euthanized due to severe illness and pain. Other losses were small pets like guinea pigs and hamsters, mice and gerbils. And birds. I always had a pet. (Oddly enough, my mother always said, "There will not be animals in this house," and we always ignored her and brought home whatever we wanted anyway. I once had a chicken and kept it upstairs in my room until it just got too big.) I do know that my two cats now are the absolute last pets, period.
ReplyDeleteI keep saying that this is our last dog, but I'm pretty sure that's me telling lies to myself. I do hope your kitties stay around for a long time because being a pet-free household seems like it would be really hard for you.
DeleteI've been thinking about this lately because my sister and husband finally had to say goodbye to their elderly cat. She had a very long life and in the end was basically driving them crazy because she had so many special needs- but it was still horribly sad. Now i keep looking at my girls and thinking how I'll have to lose them someday- it seems unfair that life should be like that.
ReplyDeleteYes, I also think it's unfair that they lead such short lives! But I don't want to really think about my girls leaving us.
DeleteI know what the average life expectancy of a dog is, I know how old our dog is, and I refuse to the math on those numbers. The answer is that it's going to suck when it happens. In the meantime, I think I'll take a break and go snuggle with my girl.
ReplyDeleteAw. Snuggle her for all of us out here with dogs who won't snuggle!
DeleteIt's always gut-wrenching when the time comes, but so far, I haven't reached the point where having a cat isn't worth it to me (though I suppose that day will come). I give them good lives, they enrich mine immeasurably, and I can't imagine being without one for long. But it is the worst thing about them, that they don't live as long as we do.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think your comment is spot on. It's definitely a symbiotic relationship and it's hard to say who gets the most out of it - us or them. I guess we should just really take advantage of all the time we have with them.
DeleteThe only thing that bothers me in that case is thinking about the perfect rejoinder to an argument from 1989.
ReplyDeleteOh, boy. That could really make going back to sleep impossible.
DeleteI worry about if the chimney is leaking again. No double meaning there, just straightforward homeowner angst.
ReplyDeleteI get it, I really do. I feel like we're really just one or two home repairs away from bankruptcy.
DeleteI will never, never, never listen to that episode. I just had to take a deep breath. Watching Barkley die was so heartbreaking, I can barely even think about it.
ReplyDeleteCHANGING THE SUBJECT QUICKLY
I know there are many places that rain at this time of year - and next year, I might be in one of them - but it's so strange to me, growing up in Calgary. It's snow snow snow. March and April are our snowiest months, and the thought of rain during this time is so strange. But I know it's not strange, CALGARY IS STRANGE.
I thought the episode was very hard to listen to, so I totally get where you're coming from.
DeleteRain in February was certainly weird here. We can get snow in March and April, too, although it doesn't usually stick around very long because daytime temps get slightly above freezing!
I have to admit that one reason I don't have a cat (I would love to have a cat) is that I am pre-sad thinking about the possibility that I will outlive it. This was also one of the many reasons I was so afraid/reluctant to procreate. Ugh. I am listening to a book that is so frank about death and I really like that frankness, but I am NOT FRANK ABOUT DEATH, it terrifies me, and losing a pet or a loved one, which will happen to us all, is so unbearably sad.
ReplyDeleteWhen I wake up and there is a storm, I worry that the tree in our backyard is going to fall over and crush us beneath it. My brain is a fun place.
Pre-sad. Oh, it makes me sad that you are denying yourself the pleasure of a cat in your life because of pre-sadness, but I also do understand it. They're also a ton of work! Ha!
DeleteWell, it's not ENTIRELY pre-sadness. I am very allergic, and also the layout of our house is really not conducive to having a cat box in a workable (ie unseen) space.
DeleteI am SO worried about Beatrix's end of life. She is half French and half English bulldog and has already exceeded the English life expectancy. I cannot imagine a day without her zen snoring in the background. She's been Dorothy's BFF her whole life, and we just love her so much. She's such a wonderful dog that I don't know if I ever even want another dog because no one could be better than she is. Ugh-- I gotta go pet her and feed her cookies.
ReplyDeleteRight? Whenever I start thinking about it, I just go to my girls and start petting them more than they like. Let's just pretend B will live forever along with Hannah and Zelda.
DeleteWe have friends with bunnies - they had one, got it a young companion and the young companion died which was wretched, and they got another companion and then the first one died recently, and it was wretched. I am now looking after the sole remaining bunny while the friend is in Cuba and I am STRESSED. They have decided there will be no more new bunnies.
ReplyDeleteMy husband has a co-worker who got divorced, but him and his wife shared custody of their greyhound so amicably that when it died, they adopted another one to share custody of. I love that story, so I'm going to stop thinking about dying pets now and leave it there.
I am STRESSED for you. I used to dogsit in grad school for some of my professors and I was always SO WORRIED something would happen to the dogs while I was in charge. Hopefully they'll come back soon and the bunny stress will go away.
DeleteI've heard of people NOT getting pets because they'd have to say goodbye one day. Well, I hate to break it, but we also have to say goodbye to people and how sad to NOT love people. Right?
ReplyDeleteIf it's raining when I wake up (we've not had any in a long time) I worry about how I'll get our non-rain-loving dog outside to go potty!
Hannah doesn't like to go out in the rain, either. She gets so mad when things hit her eyes. Peanut and Hannah unite against rain!
DeleteI wear earplugs when I sleep so rain does not wake me up, but it does wake me up. We had rain on Monday, too, and all I could think about upon waking was the skating rink we'd face when we got outside. It was just below freezing so it was terribly icy! We have had an awful cycle of freezing rain and snow so the sidewalks are terrible!
ReplyDeleteI could not bring myself to listen to that podcast. Too sad! During my husband's speech at the wedding, he made predictions about the things we might go through as a couple, the point being that we would make it through them as a team. He said how we'd face health challenges, one or both of us will lose our job, but then when he got to talking about our cat Oscar he said, "and kitty... kitty is going to be just fine." He couldn't acknowledge that something will happen to her some day. It was really sweet. But now she doesn't really live with us anymore. Since the pandemic, she's become my widowed MIL's "emotional support animal." It's best for everyone because my MIL adores her and Oscar is not a "kid" cat. She growls and hisses at the boys and does not like all the attention they give her and their sudden movement/loud noises. But I do miss having a furry friend in our house!
Ha! at him being able to acknowledge that YOU could die, but not the kitty! I've said that Zelda is going to live forever a lot, so I totally understand how he felt in that moment. I'm glad Oscar has a nice home where she's loved. Maybe when the boys are a smidge older, you could get a dog. There's nothing deeper than the bond between a boy and his dog.
DeleteYes, Phil says Oscar will live forever, too! We are 100% a cat-only household, though... I am actually quite afraid of dogs! But we would like to get a cat or maybe cat siblings when the boys are older and can act more, um, rational/calm around cats!
DeleteHonestly, going through the death of the dog of my soul, Dutch, has helped me to understand that, while it will be immensely sad when I lose my girls someday, it will be okay and having them around is WORTH IT. I spent so much time during Dutch's life being sad about him dying and while it was so very hard and tragic when he died, I also enjoyed every single minute I got with him. And I wanted to receive more of that love from other animals! It sucks that their lives are so short, but it's so amazing that we get to be their people for that time and make sure they have a good life.
ReplyDelete(But no, I will NOT be listening to that podcast episode. NO.)
I put off listening to that podcast for a long time, so I get not wanting to listen. I agree with you 100% that having my girls around has given me so much joy and companionship and love and while it will be so hard to say goodbye to them (Zelda will LIVE FOREVER), the time spent with them more than makes up for it. That being said, I hope I don't have to deal with it for many, many years to come.
DeleteI completely get this. Putting down the only dog I've ever had a few years ago rocked my life. And really, completely changed it (this was a bit unusual and due to a confluence of events but still...). I understand the dread. But I'm so glad you got up (despite the time) and snuggled them. :) Pets are the best. <3
ReplyDelete