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Pre-COVID, we hosted a holiday party the weekend after classes ended and before finals began. This was a time when my husband was essentially caught up on grading for a split second, didn't have classes to prepare for, and it was always so much fun. People would come, eat, listen to music, and tell us how pretty our tree was, which was validation for me.
We are sort of on the fence about it this year. Questions to ponder:
1) Do we even hold it at all?
2) If we do hold it, do we send out invitations to everyone we would have sent them to in the Before Times? Or do we invite a smaller group?
3) If we invite a small group, will that offend people who had previously gotten invitations?
2) If we do hold it, do we send out invitations to everyone we would have sent them to in the Before Times? Or do we invite a smaller group?
3) If we invite a small group, will that offend people who had previously gotten invitations?
4) Do we host it on the same date?
There are pros and cons each way we go, I suppose. On one hand, I've tried since my second booster to fully embrace the "new normal" and stop wearing masks for quick indoor errands like picking up library books or wandering around the gift shop downtown that is closing (and going to be replaced by a "golf experience," which is utter bullshit to me). I've traveled outside of my state.
But things aren't normal. If we invite a big group, people who aren't vaccinated to the hilt and are more risk-acceptant than we are might come. Will it make our immunocompromised friends feel uncomfortable coming? But, maybe I should just accept that one day we WILL get COVID and maybe if we got it at this event, that would be fitting?
I don't know. It's all confusing. I think if we're going to host it this year, we should sent out an invite by next weekend, but I don't know what we're going to decide.
Do you host a holiday party? Are you still having these debates in your household?
Gah. It's all so complicated, isn't it. We don't host any formal party each year, but we tend to have a lot of smaller groups over for a meal over the holidays. We were supposed to go to a small Christmas party last year hosted by people we were just getting to know...but it got cancelled because of a big spike in cases. I have to admit - secretly I really appreciated having fewer things on the social calendar the last few Christmases, but things seems to be mostly "normal" again...but also EVERYONE IS SICK right now. COVID, colds, RSV, the flu. It's just a giant swirl of all the germs lately...
ReplyDeleteI don't want to get sick with ANY of it - COVID or not. But I am also really ready to get back into the swing of actual life. It IS complicated.
DeleteWe don't host a big party, but we have a small get-together on Christmas Eve with one other family. Down here in Florida (eye roll) we moved on from Covid a while ago... not saying that's the best policy, but it's the general feeling so we're used to big gatherings again. My feeling is you should have the party in the way that makes you most comfortable- but you could get sick, and you'd have to be okay with that risk. It's definitely complicated.
ReplyDeleteOh, most people here moved on from COVID a long time ago, too. We're definitely in the minority, but we have started to take tiny steps into normalcy. I don't know if there is a way for to be 100% comfortable with any sort of party, but once we are HAVING the party, I know it will feel normal, like when we went to the wedding last month. *Huge sigh* Why didn't anyone give me a guidebook on adulting when I graduated from high school?
DeleteDo not just accept that you will get Covid. Do whatever you can to avoid getting Covid. That is of course only my opinion which you may ignore. I would have the gathering but keep it small and only invite people who you are confident are at the same level of Covid caution that you are. Our friends will be having their party, and everyone will test beforehand (not foolproof) and no one will come if they are sick.
ReplyDeleteI mean, it seems inevitable that everyone on this planet is going to get COVID at some point. I'm not suggesting COVID parties like we used to have chicken pox parties (!), but I think we've accepted it will probably happen at some point. I guess I just don't want to host a superspreader event or make someone who has a compromised immune system uncomfortable. Argh. It's hard.
DeleteI am the last person you should ask right now. I know you guys have been super-careful all this time, as I was... but ever since I got Covid (and can't even figure out where and how), I've had very mixed feelings on how to do things going forward.
ReplyDeleteObviously, being vaccinated/boosted means that if you catch is there is a very good chance you will have no or very few symptoms. So that might be worth the risk?
It might be worth the risk for US, but what about our other guests? I guess I just provide information about the event and let other people do their own risk assessment? Ugh. I hate it.
DeleteSo I'm an immune compromised person and I would say that I don't expect people to make decisions about gatherings to protect me. I feel like it's up to me to decide what is or isn't worth the risk. So really up until Feb 2022, I basically said no to everything to protect myself/my kids from getting covid. Then I got covid in May and it sucked, but I wasn't dangerously ill. So I have faith in the vaccines and now am pretty much back to normal life. It took awhile to transition from saying no to everything to getting back out there, though.
ReplyDeleteI do think covid gives us a chance to reset. So I would plan the party the way you want it and only invite the people you really want to invite. If you were excited to see everyone that you normally invited, I would invite them. If you weren't then scale back the guest list. If you don't invite someone you normally did, and they hear about the party, they will likely think you did a scaled back version of the party.
I do think it's good to get back to more normal habits. I could not sustain the kind of life I was living up until Feb 2022... it was so isolating and I needed to get my kids out and about so we would all stay sane on the weekends. I follow an economist Emily Oster, or I did when I was still on social media and she helped me think about risk frameworks. Like pre-covid, I was going to restaurants when the flu was circulating without thinking twice about it (in most cases). But the risks to me of getting covid as a vaxxed person (who gets lots of boosters and also got prophylactic antibodies in April) was probably similar to the risks I was taking during previous flu seasons. I had to get away from the 0 covid risk way of life. Although I never really was at 0 because my kids were in daycare so that was my biggest exposure risk but absolutely essential!
I honestly don't know because it seems like there's a lot of illness out there right now, not just COVID. It seems like people who have just gone back to normal are getting sick all the time and my husband and I haven't had so much as a cold since 2019. That being said, I suppose you're right and we should let others do their own risk assessments. I suspect we won't have the party at all, but we'll see.
DeleteThese are confusing times. I am now wearing my mask a little more that I was a little while ago. We both wore masks in the lobby of the arena at JJ's game. We took them off inside. I am especially far from the throngs when I am taking pictures off on my own. Last week, we also wore them at coffee until we sat down. I don't know what good that does, but it doesn't hurt.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't think I'll ever eat in a restaurant again. It just seems really gross to me. LOL. I'm always shocked when I go by bars and restaurants in our town and they're all full up. I am just not interested in that.
DeleteI think you should have the party - you can keep it small, but it could be a really good step for you as you try to figure out what your new normal will look like. It is very hard to make these decisions still, but I have been going to events like these pretty regularly since 2021. And I didn't get Covid from a party - I got it from plane travel!
ReplyDeleteI don't know. The more I think about it, the more I think we'll probably just put it off another year. There's so much out there right now in terms of germs - not just COVID. I mean, maybe we'll just have four other people over for an afternoon of games or something, but not a whole party with people in and out in our space.
DeleteAh I feel you. It is a tough thing. I had my 40th birthday party during summer and asked everyone to test beforehand so we can all enjoy the party and not think about it. I had a lot of newborns there that were not able to get vaccinated and I just found that was fair. Luckily my group of friends didn't find that weird. Maybe that is an option for a bit peace of mind. Otherwise you could host it – if possible – outside with hot drinks and warm blankets and a fire. Find a way around it but still do it.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious as to what you decided, as it sounds like you chose not to go forward with the party (from the sound of your reply to Stephany). I am back to being super-cautious thanks to the various types of crud going around at school and in the community. I moved class on Wednesday online, due to 2 people being ill. I'm feeling better in known situations and small groups, but large groups still freak me out.
ReplyDeleteAre there perhaps smaller groups, or even a couple or two you know well, who you could get together with over the holidays instead? I know it's not the same but it's, well, something?