The Secret Place by Tana French

In the Woods
The Likeness
Faithful Place
Broken Harbor

The Secret Place is the fifth book in The Dublin Murder Squad series by Tana French. Mostly I read this book because Lisa said the sixth book is her favorite and I couldn't bear to just skip a book.

First up, I think we can all agree that these are the most boring covers in the history of cover art. Combined with the humdrum titles, I just can't imagine that the exterior of these books would ever entice someone to read them or, frankly, remember them.

And then there's the plot of this book, which basically revolves around which teenager told another teenager something and which teenager read another teenager's text messages. Look, here's the truth. I didn't care about teenage drama in high school and I really could have cared less about it in this book. Absolutely the most boring topic imaginable. AND THEN! THEN! Let's discuss French's descriptions of teenage girls, shall we?  Keep in mind that our main character is an male police detective.

"No beauty - no height, no neck and no waist, plenty of nose to make up for it - but she tried. Hard-work straight blond hair, fake tan." (page 71)

"Tall, slim - trying hard for thin, only she didn't have the build for it. Pretty, top end of pretty, but that jaw was going to give her man-face before she was thirty." (page 78)

"Short little thing, scrawny, shoulders curled in. Fidgety fingers, twisting at her skirt. Hard-work straight blond hair, fake tan, skinny eyebrows." (page 82)

"Long dark-brown hair in a ponytail, soft and straggly, no straighteners here. Maybe an inch taller than Holly; skinny, not scary-skinny but definitely could have done with a pizza." (page 103)

I could keep going. Why does French hate teenage girls so much?! I was really turned off by this book and thought it was gross. Misogyny by other women is not a look I care for. Do not recommend.

2/5 stars

Things I looked up:
Keep schtum (page 78) - (also stay schtum) to not say anything about something; to remain silent
Dosh (page 338) - British slang word for money

Line of note:

Conway moved. Said, "You got a boyfriend?"

"No."

Instant. Almost scornful, like it was a stupid question: You got a rocket ship? (page 109)

One time, my nephew was five and I asked him if a decoration on his paper airplane made it go faster. His look of utter disdain for me has haunted my dreams ever since. This exchange made me think about how young people really think adults are idiotic.