The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren

The Unhoneymooners tells the tale of Olive, an out of work woman living in the Twin Cities, and Ethan, a math guy who seems to take an immediate dislike to Olive. Olive and Ethan are the respective siblings of Ami and Dane, who just got married and were unable to go on their non-refundable honeymoon because of an unfortunate incident with a shellfish buffet at their wedding reception (sidenote: I would not have eaten at this buffet in Minnesota). Of course, Olive and Ethan end up going to Hawaii for the honeymoon, one sniping conversation after another, because they didn't eat the food that made everyone else sick, Olive because she is allergic to shellfish and Ethan because he doesn't eat at buffets.  

Interesting characters: I mean, despite all the bickering these two do, we actually don't really figure out what they even do for a living until 75% of the way through the book. I'm not suggesting that a person's career is the main characteristic for interesting, but all we really know about them, besides family relationships, is that they hate each other. Also, they are people who bicker and I am not a person who enjoys reading that (or living that, to be fair to myself).

Believable conflict: Sure. They have a miscommunication very early on and it leads both of them to think the other doesn't like them. Since that was so early in their relationship, I can see why they didn't hash out the issue.  

Emotional tension: I think this is supposed to be the highlight of the book. Without being too spoiler-y, Olive finds something out about Ethan's brother and it leads to a fight after which the two of them break up. I understand that Lauren wanted me to think that both characters were in the right, with Olive standing up for truth and justice and Ethan supporting his brother through thick and thin, but I just cringed at the whole thing and wanted both of them to go find new supportive partners who they won't fight with all the time.  (Plus, if Olive does stay with Ethan, she's going to have to deal with Ethan's brother FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. That does not seem like a recipe for a long, happy relationship.)

Happily ever after: Yes, there's a HEA on the page. But, as I've mentioned in this space before, I hesitate to say it's a true HEA when I'm not convinced that they'll survive a rough patch.  I think the family tensions are going to undo this couple within eight years. I also think they'll have children and they'll bicker in front of the kids (they'll call it "teasing" and "playful") and the kids will be stressed out because it's so tense at home and by the time their parents get divorced, the children will be ill-behaved and traumatized and need lots of therapy, but they'll also forever be in between their parents who will not stop "teasing" each other.  *sigh* 

I actually kind of liked this book until about halfway through when the Brother Stuff became so critical to the plot. I liked the Twin Cities setting (I almost cried when Lake Harriet came up - I really miss Minneapolis). I liked the non-bickering banter. I liked the pop culture references. But then this thing that I honestly think is a not their fault, unsolvable issue pops up and it's just not addressed.  This is my third Christina Lauren book and I've found big faults in each of them. Maybe it's time to admit that while I think these books are quite readable, they're not the writers for me (apparently this is a writing pair). Unfortunately for all of you reading this, I have two more Lauren books to go to finish the stupid list I've convinced myself I need to finish, so buckle in for my Christian Lauren criticism in your (and my) future.

Things I Highlighted:

"Skeksis-like" (page 46) - Some creepy creatures from the movie The Dark Crystal. It will not surprise anyone to learn that I have not seen this movie and the reference was lost on me while I was reading the book.

"He carries at least one form of personal disinfectant on his person at all times, and he won't eat at buffets." (page 64)

There is a running gag that Ethan is a food snob because he won't eat at buffets and I honestly took a small amount of offense on his behalf. Buffets are disgusting. Food poisoning is for everyone. Salmonella and norovirus are for everyone and don't get me started on people TOUCHING food at buffets, sneezing and coughing into them, and man I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it. Poor Ethan. (Also, I haven't eaten in an restaurant in more than a year and a half and the thought of it makes me shudder, so maybe I'm the problem, not the book.)

"Ethan, I'm a terrible liar."
"Really? You hid it so well."
"It's never been my strength, okay? Those of us who aren't summoned by the Dark Mark consider honesty to be a virtue." (page 68)

Who am I to turn away from a Harry Potter reference?

"Individually Ethan and I are above-average intelligent people, so why are we so stupid together?" (page 141)

This one sentence just encapsulates the whole book.

"I'm...thinking."
"Think out loud," he says. "With me." (page 266)

This is actually quite a sweet sentiment.