Uprisings, Tension, and the Political

I've been happily writing about books and fitness goals and how cute my dog is, but it's come to my attention that, despite the fact that I'm rarely further than four blocks away from my house at any given time these days, there is a world outside of the small Wisconsin town where I live.

I used to teach in a political science department. Because no one wanted to teach the very kind, very racist, mostly white students in our student body the class on minority politics, I volunteered to do so. I did so because I was once one of those kids. I came from a small town in the Midwest, I have struggled with my own role in perpetuating racism, and I knew I could understand the starting place of those students, even as I wrestled with how to get those students to think about the world outside of their four square blocks.  

In one of the assignments for the class, I had them read a long article and watch a documentary about Nat Turner, a man who led slaves in a violent uprising against white people in Virginia in 1831 that led to the deaths of over 100 people, both black and white.  The students struggled mightily with the language used to describe the event - was this a rebellion? a revolt? an insurrection? an act of terrorism?  an uprising?  an act of civil disobedience?  They struggled mightily with the Turner's legacy - was he someone to be admired for standing up to tyranny? was he to be critiqued for allowing the predictable punitive measures that were taken against slaves in the aftermath of the event?  was he a murderer? is he a hero and a proper representative for the civil rights movement?  

Yesterday I watched the news in disbelief as reputable news outlets called terrorists "protesters" as they overran the Capitol building with the purpose of disrupting an important vote to continue the democratic processes work. I thought back to the discussions I had with my students over Nat Turner and wondered where we had gone wrong in the educational system of this country. I wondered about the mental health of all of those people treating an important symbol of an important governmental body as less than sacrosanct.  

It's not anger I feel. It's a deep sadness, a deep hopelessness. How can we get out of this mire?  Biden may have won the election, but ten million people MORE voted for Trump in 2020 than in 2016.  71 million people voted for Trump not two months ago. They support this. And I am currently finding it very difficult to look people in the eye, knowing that they voted for him, knowing that they are partially responsible for the collapse of the stability of our country's governing bodies, knowing that they are responsible for the dissolution of important norms.

So while I'm writing about book I've read and my adorable dog, I want you to know that I'm barely holding it together. I rarely leave my house. Every day is the same as the next. There is nothing on the calendar in the future to look forward to. The level of sadness I feel each time I check the news is overwhelming. I'm struggling over here and feeling terrible for struggling when there are people who have relatives dying alone in hotel rooms, are struggling to keep a roof over their heads, and are worried about violence in the streets.  I'm not unaware of all of it. I'm just doing what I can to get by.