Winter Olympics 2018 Notes #1

We don't actually watch much television. As far as I'm concerned, our Apple TV is a vehicle for getting YouTube videos on to the tv so I can do workout videos.  But I purchased a one month subscription to SlingTV for the sole purpose of watching every Olympic event I can watch in two weeks time. I don't even necessarily care about these sports (I spent forty-five minutes of my life watching Norway defeat China in mixed curling despite the fact that I don't even really understand the scoring), but I care about the Olympics because, you know, community and cooperation and the limits of humankind.

So, you're probably going to get a few of these posts wherein I talk about my feelings about the Olympics.

1) I'm a smidge patriotic, but I have strong feelings about what I call "medal hogs," which is to say, once you get your Olympic gold medal, I feel you should retire and let someone else have a go. I'm talking to the Shaun Whites, Michael Phelps, and Usain Bolts of the world. This means I frequently, frequently root against the United States.

2) I also like a good underdog story, so you'll rarely hear me rooting for the most favored athlete.

3) I hold a giant grudge against Tara Lipinski for stealing a gold medal from Michelle Kwan (how did she get perfect 6s when she double-footed a landing? for shame, judges) and now that she announces many of the events, I get a bit salty whenever she criticizes someone's technical ability. How dare she?  I mean, I do dig the Lipinksi/Weir vibe, but I do think they're sometimes a bit cruel in their honesty and never have I heard Lipinksi admit that Kwan had better skates than she did in 1998. Yes, I'm holding on to a grudge for 20 years.

4) "And these last two laps are where the race is decided." Cut to commercials. I know it's the cool think to do to slag on NBC's Olympic coverage, but it really is that bad.

5) Seriously? Seriously? This is what we wear to the opening ceremonies?  How many times is "USA on these stupid things?  On the hates, on the backs of the jackets, on the pants AND on each of the gloves?  You know the rest of the world rightly makes fun of us when we consistently chant "USA USA" at these events (can't we get even another chant?), but it's these ridiculous tacky and terribly uniforms that are really the problem. I want a new American designer to come up to bat in 2020. Ralph Lauren, you're fired.