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I want to be a good daughter. I love my mom. I like my mom. I appreciate all she has done for me.
But it's so hard to maintain a relationship. I'm not the kind of daughter who calls my mother every day to talk to her. I don't have a series of inside jokes with her.
It's a dutiful relationship. And it's painful.
And I called her just now and she didn't answer and I left a message I feel awful like I have failed her.
So that's all it is right now. I feel like a failure at relationships with people I love, she feels like I am a neglectful daughter, and when we finally do catch each other on the phone neither of us will speak of any of it.
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To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.
The older I get, the more convinced I am that everyone muddles through life the best they can, each making the kinds of mistakes that life steers them toward. Children, in particular, are given less opportunity to choose their own paths and the muddling they do at an early age is the platform from which they build their subsequent life. In the instant case, I hope you can forgive yourself for muddling through life the best you can. And by the same token, forgive your mom for muddling through the best she could. I'm sure that she loves hearing from you, and the odds are she feels just as awkward about the relationship as you do.
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