You Seldom See Slattern Used in Contemporary Fiction

Things my husband knows now that he didn't know before I broke my ankle:  which clothes get dried and which ones get hung up to dry, what kind of tampons I use, how utterly screwed up the shelving system is at our local library, how frequently I get a mocha with a shot of caramel flavoring from our local coffee shop, how annoying it is when the kitty climbs into the litter box when you are in the midst of cleaning it, and how it feels to be kicked by a super heavy boot in the middle of the night.

Things I know now that I didn't know before I broke my ankle: while I am not one of those annoying, must be doing something at all times people, I find forced idleness to be stifling and oppressive; my pain tolerance is quite high; I can not walk by a piece of cardboard torn off of a box we have given the kitten to play with lying (I just spent five minutes wading through grammar sites trying to determine if it should be lying or laying - please correct me if I'm wrong) on the carpet without freaking out and desperately wishing I could run the vacuum; I drink approximately two and a half pitchers of water each day; the kitty really likes the black fleece blanket.

Things that have been super useful to have around:  Netflix on demand, electronic library book loans, and a laser pointer to keep the kitten occupied when I couldn't play chase the ball with her.  So I'm cheating a bit with the e-books from the library because (shhhhhh) I still have my library card from a place we no longer live that allows me access to way more e-books than our small local library.  So I'm able to request up to 3 ebooks from our local library and 15 from the library where I no longer live.  Perhaps it's not ethical, but I'm desperate for something to do here these days!

Things I really wish I could do RIGHT NOW: the chores the boy hates to do like vacuum, change the cat litter, and clean the bathroom; shower without assistance (I still need help drying off/getting clothes on damn it all); cook dinner; drive myself to places, especially the library; spend more than five minutes with my leg not propped up without feeling pain. 

Things that have been said in the last two days:  Kobe Bryant loses all three of his mansions in the divorce...I just don't feel bad for him; Wow! You seldom see slattern used in contemporary fiction; Uh, weren't we supposed to get up at 6? (as the clock read 6:29); She looks like the kitten in that "hang in there" poster when she hangs on the chair like that; Do you think Newt Gingrich is attractive enough to warrant all this fuss over his sex life?.