NGS's Christmas Card Rules

1) I despise photo cards with lame generic "Happy Holidays from the Smiths" on them. Handwriting is essential to cards. I'll even take it as handwriting if you merely sign your name to the photo card, although of course I strongly prefer some snarky comment or inside joke written specifically for me. You can have typed address labels, but the only demand is some sort of handwriting.

2) Including only photos of your children. For the most part, I don't know/like/care about your children. Don't take it personally, but I'm interested in only the adults for about 75% of the holiday cards I receive. If it's a picture of your newborn infant I've never met, it's going straight into the recycling. If it's a picture of your family as a whole, I'll coo over how wonderful it is to see a happy family and it's definitely going to go on the fridge. From there, it will go to the photo album.

3) If you put confetti or glitter inside the envelope, I will be most unhappy with you. One of my aunts does this and I open her card over the trash can, read the generic lame greeting, and then toss it into the garbage.

4) While I don't mind a seasonal picture, I prefer a photo I can keep on the fridge year round. I have trouble justifying a picture of the kids on Santa's lap on my fridge after January 15. If, however, you send me a snapshot from your vacation to Idaho, I can keep that up on my fridge until you send me a more updated picture (probably next Christmas).

5) If you handwrite a newsletter, awesome (see #1 above). If you send out a typed newsletter, it better be awesomely sarcastic or some really big events better have happened to you to warrant it. Any bragging about promotions, how smart your kid is, or how your fiancee vomited blood in a major way, is totally not going to be okay with me.

6) Know your audience. My aunt, the same one with the confetti, sends us holiday cards every year with some variation of Jesus our savior is born on the front. Whatever. Save me from your uber religion and give me a reindeer. She also addresses the cards to Mr. and Mrs. BB and NGS BB's Last Name. First up. My husband is a doctor. Second up. I did not take his last name. I seethe every year. (The address and the confetti do me in every year.) I usually get a variety pack of cards at the end of Christmas sales every year with Hanukkah, Christmas, Season's Greetings cards and just send to the appropriate people. If I don't know which one to send them, I figure I probably shouldn't be sending!

7) If someone never reciprocates cards, I assume no interest and stop sending them cards. It make actually take two or three years before I kick you off my list, but I will get there eventually. I have an exception or two for a few friends who I know are adamantly opposed to sending cards (although the enjoy receiving them) and I don't have a database or anything (although that sounds like an excellent idea), but I do try and keep track of non-reciprocating folks.

8) So this list sounds harsh. I love receiving and getting cards. Even if you break some of these rules, you should still send them. It's always nice to be thought of, even if it is by some crabby aunt who tries to fill my apartment with glittery confetti and gets my name wrong.