I believe that women should be able to do what men do. I also firmly believe that if I'm in an elevator with a man, he should allow me to exit first, that if I'm walking with a man, he should walk on the car side of the street, and that if it's raining out, I should be allowed on the bus first. I have no cognitive dissonance with these things.
I believe that people can believe whatever they want to believe. But if you ever proselytize to me about your religion, I will never be able to look at you again without remembering that and hating you.
I believe that people have the right to vote, even if that vote is different from mine. But if I ever hear you admit that you voted for anyone named Bush for president, for Michelle Bachmann, or voted against a school levy, I will think you are an idiot.
I believe in tolerance. But I am quite intolerant of people who are themselves intolerant. People spouting hatred about homosexuals, folks with accents, or that black man who is our president get no respect from me.
I think about these things a lot. Some of them bother me. I am almost rabidly anti-religious and it pains me sometimes. I want to be open-minded, but as soon as the talk of deities and mysticism comes up, my blood pressure rises and I can feel the meanness ebbing out of my pores. Some of them don't bother me. Bachmann is batshit crazy and the people who vote for her must be batshit crazy too.
But I wonder. Still I wonder. What other double standards do I hold that I am unaware of?
I'm a guy but I have the exact same standards. I believe women should be afforded every opportunity as men but I should also hold doors for them. I really don't see any conflict between these two things.
ReplyDeleteI have double standards, too. And it does concern me.
ReplyDeleteBut I guess I like to think (justification, anyone?) that part of being human is being imperfect... And as long as we're aware of our biases and judgments, and try to work beyond them or whatever, then we're doing all right.
I'm most definitely a Feminist - but I have to admit I love it that my husband walks the last couple of steps faster to get to the door for me, or holds the car door open.
ReplyDeleteAs for religion - I don't mind hearing about yours in passing, as long as you don't try to recruit me.
And I also consider myself a tolerant person - but hypocrisy will drive me bat-shit insane faster than just about anything.
My personal motto concerning religion is "teach don't preach." A person can teach me all about her religion and I'll find it fascinating, but that doesn't mean I'm going to adopt it. Preaching often feels like a personal attack and there's too much of that going around as it is.
ReplyDeleteI like that you can acknowledge your doubles. It's much harder when my friends think they have none.
ReplyDeleteHaving been one of the few Christians in a school of 'open minded' folk, I've experienced some of the double-standards you mention (it often felt like I had to choose over and over to 'out' myself. And when I did, people literally drew back as if I had a disease). Most of the time though, my friends and I just shared what mattered to us (and respected each others differences).
It's neat to also do that with you via our blogs.