Damn You Applebee's

I am going back to Michigan soon to deal with some lingering issues regarding my father's death. The last time I was there, I was exceptionally impressed by the support my family got from, in particular, my friends from high school. One of my high school peers, a girl I was close to in high school, but someone I had grown apart from for assorted reasons having mostly to do with me having had an abortion and the two of us having radically different religious and political views, was one of the most supportive people while I was there.

So I emailed all those people, including this woman I've had some problems with in the past, and told them that I would love to hang out with them while I am in town. Two nights have been set aside and then the planning began.

It started out so simply. What do you want to do? Suggestions range from hanging out at someone's house, going to a park, or going out to eat came forth.

I respond that going out to eat is usually not a pleasant task for us because of Dr. BB's (I think I'm going to call him that now because it pisses him off) dietary restrictions.

She emails back that her mother has Celiac's and that their family eats at Applebee's all the time.

I responded with a note that I am not entirely sure how sensitive her mother is, but Applebee's does not have a dedicated gluten free grill so cross contamination would be a problem and since there is no GF information on their website, the servers and cooks are bound to be unknowledgeable about the issue, and my husband's system is pretty sensitive to even small amounts of gluten. While some people take it up that they are responsible for educating these servers, Dr. BB and I do not. Applebee's is out.

She emails that she doesn't see what the big fuss is about. If he gets a little bit of gluten through cross contamination, no harm done.

And here I stand. I want this friendship to continue. I really do.

But what I really want to write back is: Fuck you. My husband will die with repeated "little bits of gluten through cross contamination." I have no idea how your mother hasn't gotten sick eating at Applebee's all these times. If my husband has even a small amount of gluten, he is sick for days. I can't believe how insensitive you are to this issue considering your own family history.

What I probably will write is: We are uncomfortable with Applebee's. If everyone else wants to eat there, we will eat at home and meet up with you afterward.

This eating out thing? It's really stressing me out.