Rules for Irate Drivers

Okay, this is a bit of a rant. Forgive me.

All motorists should be required to commute to their places of work at least once on a bicycle. All motorists should be required to commute to their places of work at least once on a motorcycle. All bicyclists should be required to commute to their places of work at least once on a motorized vehicle. Do you get what I'm saying?

A couple of weeks ago, a bicyclist was hit and killed near Lake Calhoun. I've both driven my monstrous truck and ridden my bicycle near this location. The fury that was sparked by this incident on either side of the car/bike debate was immense. Cyclists claiming that cars just ram through intersections, drivers never looking, and motorists claiming cyclists break all kinds of laws and deserve what they get for pretending to be cars and taking up space on their precious roads.

And...both sides have valid points. As someone who rides my bike once in a while and drives once in a while, I've done dumb things on both modes of transportation (and for the assholes who say bikes aren't transportation, I'd like to punch you). I do dumb things, not because I wanted to almost hit the pedestrian who was cross 6th Street and Cedar Avenue legally the other day (oh, geez, dude, if it was you, I'm sooooo sorry, I didn't stop shaking for hours and I imagine you are still having nightmares), or because I wanted the truck to hit me when I illegally blew through the stop sign on the corner of Bryant and 32nd last week on my bike, but because sometimes we all do stupid things. I'm the first to admit that I'm a distracted driver. Billboards get me. The bad music on the radio gets me. Thoughts of what went wrong in my class get me. Oh, my god, this week I've been thinking about fucking ribbon* for our wedding invitations to the almost exclusion of everything else.

So, everyone needs to take their share of the responsibility. I don't know if it was the cyclist's "fault" that he got killed. Possibly he was doing something illegal. But if you're in a car, you have a responsibility to watch for dumb ass cyclists and pedestrians. Just like you immediately slam on your brakes when you see a ball fly into the street (seriously, when I grew up, I thought that was the dumbest driver's ed video in the world - now, since it's happened to me three times in the last two weeks because of the kids playing in the park across the street, I have a deeper respect for all I didn't learn in driver's ed), you take into account that cyclists do dumb things. Possibly the driver was not giving the cyclist right of way. I don't know. Frankly, I don't care. A person died. Everyone is responsible. So, some rules.

1) Don't scream at cyclists to get out of the way on the road. They are doing the best they can. They do have every right to be on the road.
2) Cyclists, don't purposefully do dumb ass things. Get yourself a headlight and a flashing light for the rear of your vehicle. Don't bike ahead of eight cars at a stop light so that you can go through the light before they do and then end up slowing them down in the end. Don't swerve in and out of the traffic lane. If you've got to be in a traffic lane, then stay in it. Don't make motorists anticipate what weird move you're going to make next. Don't wear headphones while cycling.
3) Make it clear what you're going to do. If you're going to turn left, signal. Warn people what you're going to do.
4) Respect others on the road. We're all just trying to get there safely. Don't let others die because you're a jerk who can't control his or her own road rage.
5) Try to keep your mind on the task. It's so easy to get distracted. Trust me. I don't think Biker Boy will ever get in the car with me after nearly killing that pedestrian. Cut the distractions. Does it matter that you've never seen that billboard for the Mall of America (stupid, NGS - look at it next time you go by on the bus)? Does it matter that your best friend is calling (don't answer the phone - chances are she'll answer it when you get to your destination in five minutes)?

Look, it is an important issue. There are so many cyclists in this city, I feel bad whenever I get in my car to go somewhere. But let's not realize that we all have the same goal - to get where we are going without dying or killing someone. Sure, if you're in a car or riding a bike, you should still enjoy the experience, but part of that is releasing your anger about things that are beyond your control. Stop being a butt-head.

*The ribbon is a source of consternation. We found the color we want. But it's grosgrain and I want satin ribbon. Yeah. That's right. I've become Bridezilla. Over fucking ribbon. Notice I said, "I want." Yeah. Biker Boy could care less. Yet he has patiently looked at ribbon with me in craft store after craft store and even made some half-hearted attempts to look it up online. I love that man.