Can You Be Less Unique?

Overheard in gym:
Girl 1: Where do you get your paronia?
Girl 2: I'm not paranoid.
Girl1: I know, what I mean is your mom or dad the one who is hyper health-conscious?
Girl 2: I guess both.
Girl 1: I mean, you realize that you're crazy right? Can't you just eat this piece of candy?
Girl 2: No. I don't want it.
Girl 1: Can you be less vigilant about your health? Just for one day? You won't die if you walk through the locker room without shoes on!!
Girl 2: It's just who I am. I mean, you can get fungus and stuff.
Girl 1: Can you be less unique? Just try? Just for me?

Office Mate: (nodding at my bike helmet): Is your bike purple?
NGS: Noooooo. . . why?
Office Mate: You're a very purple person.
NGS: Huh?
Office Mate: You are a purple person. Right?
NGS: (I must admit that at this point the FIRST thought that came to my mind was that my AURA must be purple). . . because my helmet is purple?
Office Mate: And your coat, and the shirt you are wearing, and the pen you are using. . .
NGS: OOOOhhhhhh....not my aura!!
Office Mate: (stares)
NGS: No, no, no. My bike is blue.

NGS: (into cell phone) It is so hot here I might die. I am sweating.
NGS friend: What are you wearing?
NGS: A tank top! And jeans! Why sweating? It's only April!! I didn't sign on for this. I live in Minnesota!!
NGS friend: Yeah, I guess. Can we talk about something other than the weather?
NGS: It's not about the weather. It's about sweat!! I think I have sweat off five pounds today. Sweat. Ewwww.