Orange Streaks, Snowballs, and Trains

It has snowed rather heavily here in the last week. One day, after it snowed eight inches the night before, I was inside, relaxing with a nice salad of romaine, spinach leaves, and tomatoes after a vigorous workout of shoveling the sidewalk and convincing my rear-wheel drive, full-size pickup that it should MOVE and not just spin its tires, when the doorbell rang. I looked outside and see the big brown truck that lets me know that the UPS guy has just rung the doorbell. I was super excited, thinking (of course) that there was a secret package headed my way. I went out to the front porch, saw that the guy in brown had left TWO boxes in the porch, and just as I was bending down to see who the packages were for, I saw an orange streak out of the corner of my eye. Then I heard the big brown door that separates the porch from the rest of the house slam shut. That’s right. The orange kitty had accidentally locked us out on the front porch. But it was cold and I was wearing a t-shirt and slippers. My roommate was in the basement, but she couldn’t hear the doorbell and there I was, stuck with an angry kitty on the porch (it almost broke my heart to hear the little meow as he looked at the door begging me to let him in, but I also almost killed him because it was HIS fault). Eventually I was able to pound on the backdoor enough to get her attention (walking back and forth IN MY SLIPPERS from the front porch to the back door), but we had been on the front porch for twenty minutes. Biker Boy and I got up early this morning so that we could build a snowperson. Unfortunately, the snow was too powdery and we ended up throwing snowballs at each other (snowballs that disintegrated as they flew through the air), making snow angels, and, very maturely, throwing each other into snowbanks. It was great fun. I took the train home a bit later than I normally do tonight. It was a little before midnight. And some very drunk woman threw up on the train. I was repulsed. Our trains are nice. They’re new. But if you throw up on them, they won’t stay new. And it’s gross. I wanted to lock her on the front porch and throw snowballs at her.