NGS Letters

Dear Miami Dolphin Fans,
I'm sorry you are now the ones who must pay millions of dollars per missed pass by the one and only Dante Culpepper.
Love,


Dear Ghetto Grocery Store,
I have a number of things to say to you. First of all, if you have a sign up that says "Bunch Spinach $0.99, please make sure that you have spinach in stock. I, for one, thought that I suddenly didn't know what spinach was since in the space where spinach normally is was taken up by bibb lettuce, a completely different plant altogether. Second of all, when it is 4:30-5:00 on a Friday afternoon, have all of your checkout lanes open. I read nearly the entirety of this week's Star.
Thanks!


Dear Ira Glass,
You are not very attractive and you should wear t-shirts under your button up shirts. I will continue to listen to your radio show, though.
Thanks!


Dear Random Guy in Court,
You were charged with felony terroristic threats and gross misdemeanor domestic violence. I understand that you might not have nice dress clothes like the ones that hang in my boyfriend's closet, but I think you should have considered a different t-shirt than the one you were wearing - the one that had a picture of Mike Tyson on it!! Mike Tyson!! Of all people. Let's discuss. The man beat people FOR A LIVING and was accused of sexual assault and domestic violence. I think we can all say Robin Givens is better off without the man. But, you, YOU, Random Guy in Court, show your SUPPORT to this man by wearing a shirt with his likeness on it TO a COURT appearance where you are being charged with DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Next time, maybe you should choose a different t-shirt, or, hey, how about this? Wear a shirt with buttons and no pictures.
Thanks!