You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost): A Memoir by Felicia Day

Do you think I read another book to try to fulfill my Pop Sugar Reading Challenge? I DID!! You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day is my attempt to read a book that centers on video games. I tried really hard to read a fiction book for this, but it just didn't work.  Here's where I landed.

Do you know Felicia Day? I really only know her because she starred in a weird Joss Whedon project called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Day is a multi-talented actress, gamer, and business lady. And in this memoir she talks about her life and how she got to where she was when this was published in 2015.

As someone who reads blogs, this felt like reading an extended blog post. She peppered her book with memes, photos, and random two by two tables. It was funny and I liked reading about how her relationship with her brother centered around videogames. I just thought it was missing something. I don't know what that something is - maybe a message? a bit of truth I can apply to my own non-gamer, non-business lady life? fewer insults aimed at physically and mentally disabled people? 

I had a friend in grad school who had a bookshelf above her desk at home. On one side of the bookshelf, she kept books that were her holy grails from authors and researchers she deeply admired, works she aspired toward. On the other side of the shelf she kept books that were a different sort of inspiration - the books that she didn't understand how they made it through the publishing process, but gave her hope that she could one day be published because her work was definitely better. AND FRIENDS! She is a published author! She's brilliant.

I am not saying this memoir is a book where I not sure how it made it through the publishing process. It's a funny book and she's a well-known person in certain circles. But I am saying that reading an entire book that was written like a blog made me think that maybe I could someday write something longer than a five hundred word blog post about my dog's health conditions. And I'm glad I read this book for that reason alone. 

3/5 stars

Lines of note:

My favorite movie is Babe, and if you even hum the theme song to it, I WILL start crying. One time I was introduced to James Cromwell, who played a gruff farmer in the movie, and I burst into tears when I touched his hand. Because it was so big and warm and he DANCED FOR HIS PIG. (page 35)

My favorite movie is Babe, too. Felicia Day and I are twins!

We arrived at Camouflage’s house after a few days (for a real name, let’s call him Tyler. Which was hard to remember in person anyway, to NOT call him Camouflage). (page 49)

This is real. I know Birchie's real name isn't Birchie, but it was hard not to call her by her handle when I met her IRL. 

My favorite was about a boy and girl arguing in a car about the morality of peeing in a McDonald’s without buying anything. (page 131)

Discuss in the comments. I have a strong feeling about this. 

A lot of people mock fandom and fan fiction, like it’s lazy to base your own creativity and passion on someone else’s work. But some of us need a stepping-stone to start. What’s wrong with finding joy in making something, regardless of the inspiration? If you feel the impulse, go ahead and write that Battlestar Galactica/Archie mashup fiction! Someone online will enjoy it. (Especially if Archie gets ripped apart by Cylons.) (page 210)

Preach it, Felicia. Preach it. 

What frightened me the most about my #GamerGate experience was the possibility that this could be the future of the internet. That the utopia I thought the online world created, where people don’t have to be ashamed of what they love and could connect with each other regardless of what they looked like, was really a place where people could steep themselves in their own worldview until they became willfully blind to everyone else’s. I guess the internet can be both things. Good and bad. (page 249)

The internet can be a harsh place. I am grateful for our little bloggy circle every day. 

Hat mentions (why hats?): 

Revealing that at rehearsal one day was quite the hat trick. (page 84)

...an outfit with a huge hat and sunglasses like Audrey Hepburn in a spy thriller. (page 163)

Half the time I put my “producer hat” on, I felt like I was playing dress-up. (page 165)

There were complications, of course, like when I discovered that most of the cast had never played a video game before, but I just put on the hat of “gamer consultant” (in addition to lead actress, show runner, and co-caterer) and plowed ahead. (page 167)

2024 Q4 Goals

If you've been following this blog for long, you know that I like to set annual goals and then I do quarterly check-ins. You can see Q1,  Q2, and Q3 results. Here are my Q4 goals. Many of these are the same as previous quarters, but some are new. 

Area 1: Professional
1. Do a networking event on campus at least once a month 
2. Maintain fifteen or fewer emails in my work inbox 
3. Take off one mental health day for myself as a do nothing day during the quarter
4. Do at least one "professional development" activity a month - a webinar, lecture, etc. - this might be hard in December, but let's just go with it

Area II: Pets

1. Continue to track the number of times I walk Hannah, as well as the length of the walks

2. Grooming of some sort for Hannah every week (bath, nails, etc.)

3. Weigh Zelda at least once every two weeks to keep an eye on her weight

4. Do the prep work for Zelda to be ready for her big treatment in January

Too much cuteness.

Area III: Health

1. Formal exercise of at least 30 minutes or more on 80% of days 

2. Meditate at least three days a week 

3. Go outside for at least 24 minutes a day 

Area IV: Reading

1. Read at least one non-fiction book a month

2. Read at least one book I already own this quarter

3. Keep my reading spreadsheet up to date

4. Read at least one book every month to complete the top fantasy books by women authors list 

I'd like to read all three of these books this quarter. Can I do it?

Area V: Fun stuff

1. Hem my husband's pants

2. Go out of Wisconsin at least once (trips to Michigan and Iowa don't count unless I don't see family)

3. Track number of pieces of snail mail sent

4. Do at least one thing outside of my work, household, grocery store, or public library every week

5. Continue tracking expenses

Q4 Fun Stuff

6. Not necessarily "fun," but work on increasing the percentage I'm putting into savings.

7. I have three photos from my mom's house that I'd like to deal with - originally I had "get framed and displayed," but I honestly don't know if I want to do that for complicated personal reasons - I guess I just want to make a decision about this and then act on that decision even if the decision is "put the photos in a photo album"

8. Send mail to two people at least once a month outside of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas cards.

9. Go to a new-to-me museum

10. Go tot a new-to-me fitness class. This is a bit of a stretch goal for me because I'll probably have to leave my town to do this, but let's give it a shot. 

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Do you have a fun quarterly goal for this last quarter of 2024?

Zazen by Vanessa Veselka

FYI: Zazen is zen meditation, usually performed in the lotus position. It's preferred you do this meditation facing the wall.

I read Zazen by Vanessa Veselka for the Pop Sugar Reading Challenge for a book with a one-word title you had to look up in a dictionary. I didn't know what zazen was and I had never heard of Veselka, so I learned two things for the price of one. This is Veselka's debut novel.

Regardless of whatever I say from here on out, I want you to know that I think this cover is amazing. The photo. The author's name in the tiniest font. The title design. I just can't stop thinking about it and what it means.

Della has a doctorate, but is working in a restaurant as her country falls further and further into civil war. Bombs are going off; revolutionaries, including her own parents, are fighting the government; and no future is certain. Soon Della is involved in a terroristic plot she never intended to be the leader of.

This book is...probably too smart for me? Five-star reviews call it a biting satire, an unflinching coming of age novel in a tumultuous time, an unusual and important voice. Maybe it is all those things, but to me it felt like a muddied message. Are we supposed to agree with terrorists? Think the government is one big conspiracy that's out to get us? And what of Della? She can't use her education for anything better and more useful to society than perpetuating violence?

This was published in 2011 and I don't think it's aged well. It seems to promote political violence and in light of assassination attempts and an attempted coup of the US government, I cannot get behind it. But, again, maybe I am missing the point. 

But that cover, right?

3/5 stars

Lines of note:

That's the problem with symbolic gestures. People never take them far enough. They don't see them as a system. They blow up something right in front of them, like the bathroom of the New Land Trust building, and then caper around like monkey. They might as well throw bananas at it. (page 111-112)

Jules reminded me of Credence, so convinced he was smarter than everyone that whatever he said came out like he was teaching you how to tie your shoes. Watching that habit slip, I saw how similar he and I really were. Only I had stopped trying to communicate with anyone at all, patronizingly or otherwise. My attitude was fuck you and your myopic mental laziness, tie your own fucking shoes. Under examination it wasn't a more enlightened stance. (page 193)

Things I looked up:

laccolith (page 37) - a dome-shaped intrusive rock formed by magma pushing apart the host rock strata

Lagerstätte (page 111) - Sedimentary deposit that exhibits extraordinary fossils with exceptional preservation

Hat mentions (why hats?): 

In her hand she had a plastic firefighter's hat. (page 10)

She swung up onto the back of the truck, put her fireman's hat on and smiled back at us...(page 10)

The cumulative weight of a dense culture mesh that prevents us from understanding whether the foundational problem is really race, class or gender? A hat?

Me: A hat.

Mr. Tofu Scramble: Well, it does kind of look like a hat. (page 21)

IN AN ANCIENT LAND...(Women in cowry shell hats enjoying re-colonization on green) BEAUTY IS ETERNAL...(page 55)

October Weekend Fun

It was a bit of a crazy weekend for me and since I rarely do anything more exciting than walk my dog counterclockwise around the block, I am going to document it here.

On Saturday, I met up with Anne at a little store that sells locally-made art. They also do classes and have a time when you can glaze pre-made ceramics and then come back a few weeks later after the ceramics have been through the kiln. So in spirit of Anne and NGS doing arts and crafts projects we are definitely not talented enough to do (I shouldn't speak for Anne - I am DEFINITELY not talented enough), we painted some stuff. When we get them back from the kiln, I'll show everyone a before and after photo. CLIFFHANGER.

Actually, it is sort of a cliffhanger even for the two of us because the colors we painted things did not look anything like the colors presented on the sample color sheet, so who knows? 

(Also, a woman who volunteers at the community center was working at this place. I said hello, briefly introduced her to Anne, and then forgot this encounter took place. This is FORESHADOWING for later that evening.)

BUT! Because I am who I am, I also purchased a bunch of postcards and greeting cards.

Right now is peak greeting card season for me. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. They're all coming right in a row. But come January (February is Valentine's Day, March is St. Patrick's Day) and April, some of you might get some fun surprises in your mailboxes!! 

Then Anne and I ate lunch (I ate enough for five people, Anne took three bites and packed up the rest to take home), wrote out a few postcards, and we agreed we'd meet for coffee when we came to pick up our works of art. 

************

I stopped at Walgreen's to buy body scrub and Halloween greeting cards for the niblings. 

I walked the dog; it rained.

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THEN! It was time for the big fundraiser at the community center. I did not splurge for a ticket to the event ($100 a person!), but one of the board members asked me if I would sit at her table, so I said yes. She has asked me to be at her table for the last several years, so I imagine I'm just her favorite person/the only not rich person she knows in town. Ha!

Anyway, there was a silent auction to start the event (I had a Moscow mule mocktail) and most of the baskets were way out of this lady's price range or were alcohol-related in nature, so I found myself putting down the minimum opening bid on a stack of greeting cards and stickers made by a local artist that had been donated by the lady who Anne and I had talked to at the art store earlier in the day. I felt pretty smug as I put my auction number on the sheet - I have now bid in the silent auction and SURELY SOMEONE ELSE WILL OUTBID ME. My fundraising duty is done.

(I did donate some money for the fund the need auction. I'm not a monster. The building is an old historical place and it needs about $100,000 in exterior work done. I raised my paddle and donated a tiny bit. I also bid on a piece of pottery in live auction, but my bid was pretty nearly tripled. I can't hang with these people.)

You know what happened, right? I won those cards.

Those animals on top are wearing HATS. HATS!!

My husband nearly murdered me when I walked in the door carrying MORE GREETING CARDS. 

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Sunday was less fun. I bathed the dog and did her nails. I laundered and vacuumed. I wrote blog posts and froze my toes off. I wore sandals and my heated vest when I walked the dog. I want you to just imagine for a second how disappointed my husband looked when he saw my dog-walking outfit.

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How was your weekend? Did you buy any greeting cards? 

Cool Bloggers Walking Club 10/6 - 10/1

Join Elisabeth's Cool Bloggers Walking Club! Surely you can walk for ten minutes a day?

Sunday, October 6
7-minute walk with Hannah at 1:30 in the morning just to make sure her GI issues weren't a problem
31-minute morning walk with Hannah
49-minute leisurely walk with Hannah after lunch - I mean, I'd estimate that for a good fifteen minutes Hannah was merely laying down chewing on a stick
13-minute walk with Hannah before bed

I hope you can hear me begging her to look at me. Dog does not care. 

Monday, October 7

8-minute walk around the block with Hannah at 1:30 in the morning. It was gorgeous and the stars were brilliant and then I got to go back to bed.

30-minute morning walk with Hannah - Good news! There was a solid stool! (LOL at the TMI for my readers)

38-minute walk with Hannah after work - It was a gorgeous day and all I wanted was to play with Hannah outside. (Also another solid stool. This means she can control herself now and I don't have to get up at 1:30 in the morning. Hooray!)

25-minute walk with Hannah before bed

Tuesday, October 8

27-minute morning walk with Hannah

19-minute walk with Hannah after work

13-minute walk with Hannah before bed

Wednesday, October 9

19-minute morning walk with Hannah - Was running late this morning, so cut it a bit short.

23-minute walk with Hannah before bed

Will I ever get better at selfies? Somehow I think the answer is no. 

Thursday, October 10

36-minute morning walk with Hannah

28-minute walk with Hannah after work

8-minute walk around the block with Hannah before bed

Morning walk. It's SO DARK.

Friday, October 11

34-minute morning walk with Hannah

9-minute walk with Hannah before bed

Those clouds led to a downpour!

Saturday, October 12

18-minute morning walk with Hannah - I normally like to do a longer walk with Hannah in the mornings, but the duck hunting led to a petrified dog. 

30-minute afternoon walk with Hannah - We would have been out there longer, but a storm was heading in!

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What was your favorite walk of the week?

Colton Gentry's Third Act by Jeff Zentner

Someone on Sarah's Bookshelves raved about Colon Gentry's Third Act by Jeff Zentner and there was a guy wearing a hat on the cover, so who am I to resist? (It was Sarah herself in a recent episode about micro genres.)

Colton Gentry's hit about his high school sweetheart is his first song in a decade to hit the charts when his best friend is shot and killed. He has a drunken tirade on stage about gun control and soon he is The Chicks level of wiped out of country music. He returns to his hometown with his tail tucked between his legs and begins working for his high school love. What will happen to these two?

This was fine. It was interesting to read a romance novel from a male point of view written by a man. But. Eh. It was fine. 4/5 stars

Footnotes of note: There are two footnotes in this book. Let me share them with you. 

Petey [the old dog] will not die in this book. (page 124) 

"What if Petey dies while we're gone?" Esme asks....

Colton takes them both into his arms. "No, no, hey: Petey's gonna be waiting when y'all get back, okay?" Lord help me if that proves false. ²

² It won't. 

You know what? I went up half a star because of these footnotes. I was really worried about it when he adopted a senior dog. 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

...and a broad-brimmed black Stevie Ray Vaughan hat with a concho hatband. (page 15)

He pulled a U of Kentucky baseball hat over his bedhead...(page 35)

Luann's dad answered the door, wearing a Santa hat and a cable-knit sweater. (page 126)

...with a badge pinned on it and a police hat and aviators...(page 191)

...wearing a Santa hat someone had chucked at you...(page 246)

The waitress mocked my pawpaw, who's a veteran, for wearing his Navy hat in the restaurant! (page 260)

Colton grins and tips an invisible hat. (page 343)

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Has anyone else read a M/F romance novel written by a male author? Would you read one?

2024 Q3 Goals Update

 If you've been following this blog for long, you know that I like to set annual goals and then I do quarterly check-ins. You can see Q1 and Q2 results. Here's my Q3 update.

Area 1: Professional

1. Do a networking event on campus at least once a month ✔

    July - So much! I did a lot of interviews, even with people who are not in my office. 

    August - I presented at a college-wide event and went to a "work friends picnic." Let's call it good. 

    September - I went to an ice cream social in the STEM building and am part of a campus-wide book club. I also purposefully went out of my way to go visit a new hire in a different unit to welcome her to campus. 

2. Do another Excel course at a a slightly more advanced level ✖

    July - Zero progress made. I haven't even looked into a course to do.

    August - Still with no progress made. I don't know when I'd have time to do this. 

    September - LOLOLOL. What was I thinking with this goal?

3. Maintain fifteen or fewer emails in my work inbox ✔

    July - I didn't do a check until 8/3, but I have eight in my work email, zero in my gmail, and nine in my hotmail account. Yay!

    August - Oops. I never did an August inventory.

    September - As of 9/30, I had five emails in my work inbox, one in my gmail, and two in my hotmail account. 

4. Take off one mental health day for myself as a do nothing day during the quarter ✖

    July - Nope. 

    August - Okay. I took off two Fridays in August. One was my birthday and we went on an adventure with Hannah. The other was the Friday of Labor Day and I prepped food and packed for the weekend. Neither of those was really a do nothing day, but I didn't go to work? Would you count those?

    September - No. Just no. Why is this so hard to do?

5. Set up my office with plants (and a grow light or two)  ✖

    July - I bought a succulent garden with six or seven plants in it. Only three are still alive. LOL. I still have it at my house and need to bring it into the office.

    August - LOLOLOL. No.

    September - I did not. I am scared the plants will die in my office. 

Area II: Pets

1. Continue to track the number of times I walk Hannah, as well as the length of the walks ✔

    July - Literally our worst month of the year. Lots of things working against us here. Dr. BB took over some of the afternoon walks since he's on summer break, which frees up more time for me to exercise so we're not eating dinner late. It's been suuuuuper hot and humid so H doesn't like to go out anytime other than morning (same, girl, same). AND. The fireworks are an issue and she won't do anything other than reluctantly go out in the backyard at night, so our evening walk mostly isn't happening. Average of just over 2 miles a day.

Number of Walks	Number of Days
0	1
1	3
2	17
3	9
4	1

    August - Ha ha ha. I thought July was bad. We went just over 55 miles this month, with an average of 1.78 miles a day. 

Number of Walks	Number of Days
0	3
1	7
2	7
3	14

    September - Slightly better, but I'm not going to lie. It was very hot for several days, Hannah was sick quite a bit, and my husband has taken over some of the afternoon walks, so this number is still not great. We did 59 miles together, just under two miles a day. (Days with four or five walks were typically days when H was sick and we were just going around the block, including middle of the night walks.)

Number of Walks	Number of Days
0	1
1	0
2	12
3	13
4	3
5	2

2. Grooming of some sort for Hannah every week (bath, nails, etc.) ≈

    July - Done! Her nails are looking so good. 

    August - We did it!

    September - Ugh. We didn't do it. 

3. At least one brief training session for Hannah 70% of the time ✖

    July - Ooof. I only did four dedicated training sessions with her the entire month!! Poor baby. Sometimes we do mini-sessions out on walks (practice coming when called, walking nicely on steps, stopping at intersections, etc.), but I don't record those. 

    August - Eleven is better than four, right? Sadly, that is not even close to 70%.

    September - Five times. Sigh. I can tell her behavior is NOT awesome, but she's also been sick a lot and I can't really train her when she's sick. Grr.

I do feel like I need to defend myself here. We do a fair amount of training on walks. We practice loose leash walking, staying and coming, and going up and down stairs politely on walks a lot. Those aren't dedicated training sessions, but she is getting reinforcement for good behaviors every day and those are behaviors we really care about. 

4. Play with Zelda at least once a week ✔

    July - 2/4 - Hey, 50% is better than 0%. (Poor neglected kitten.)

    August - Look, the brown ball returned in August and I maintain that's good playtime with her. 

    September - There are now three toys in rotation and she and I play with them regularly. I feel like this is true improvement in her kitty life. 

Area III: Health 

1. Formal exercise of at least 30 minutes or more on 80% of days ≈

    July - 25/31 (80.6%) days of working out for 30 minutes or more. Check.

    August - 20/31 (64.5%) days of working out for 30 minutes or more. Ugh. Not great. I had that lipoma/cyst that honestly made any movement really hard. 

    September - 25/30 (83.3%). Not terrible. 

Overall, it was 76.1% for the quarter. I'm going to have a hard time making up for August. 

2. Meditate at least three days a week ✖

    July - 10 times. Not quite, but close. 

    August - 10 times. Still close. 

    September - 13 times. I'm going to give myself credit for doing it this month.

3. Go outside for at least 24 minutes a day ✔

    July - 30/31 days. The day I missed was the day I did my colonoscopy. I'm going to give myself a pass on that. 

    August - 31/31. Woot woot. 

    September - 30/30. 

Area IV: Reading

1. Read at least one non-fiction book a month ✔

    July - No. This is the second month in a row I skipped this. Gotta get back on the non-fiction train.

    August - FOUR!! I listened to three non-fiction books this month and read another one. 

    September - TWO!! I listened to two non-fiction books this month. I feel like listening to non-fictions books is my secret to accomplishing this goal. 

    

2. Read at least one book I already own this quarter ✔

    July - Not yet, but I have a non-fiction book I own that I might get to in August. 

    August - Nope. All library books.

    September - I read Black Beauty, which is a book I bought really cheaply for my Kindle quite some time ago. 

3. Keep my reading spreadsheet up to date ✔

    July - Yes! July book list here. 

    August - Like a boss. 

    September - Done!

4. Read at least one book every month to complete the top fantasy books by women authors list ✔

    July - I read a T. Kingfisher book and The Forgotten Beasts of Eld. 

    August - I read Vengeful and another T. Kingfisher book. 

    September - I did not.

Area V: Fun stuff

1. Finish the dress I'm currently sewing and complete at least one more clothing project ✖

    July - Ha ha ha. Do I even have a sewing machine? *sigh*

    August - My husband asked me to hem a pair of pants WEEKS AGO. I still haven't even done that.

    September - Those pants still aren't hemmed. 

2. Go out of Wisconsin at least once (trips to Michigan and Iowa don't count unless I don't see family) ≈

    July - Ha ha ha. Nope.

    August - Nope. Just to Iowa for a family event. Twice. And a trip to Michigan for family stuff. We did take an overnight with Hannah to someplace fun in the state. That's close, right?

    September - No. 

3. Track number of pieces of snail mail sent ✔

    July - Four parcel returns, a package to a friend, two birthday cards, a bill, and a thank you note for a total of nine pieces. 

    August - Five thank you notes and a birthday card for a total of six pieces.

    September - One thank you note, a bill, a note where I sent Birchie my business card, and ten postcards for a political campaign for a total of thirteen pieces

4. Do at least one thing outside of my work, household, grocery store, or public library every week ✔

    July - Absolutely. I was a busy beaver in July and did lots outside of my house. Yay!

    August - Yes. Some of those things weren't fun, but I did them. 

    September - Yes. Sometimes I had to count my workout class at the community center and that seems like a technicality, but I'm going to count it. 

5. Continue tracking expenses ✔

    July - What I Spent is here. 

    August - What I Spent is here. 

    September - What I Spent is here. 

Q3 Fun Stuff

6. Research volunteer opportunities in my town. ✖

    July - Nope.

    August - LOLs for days.

    September - I feel bad, but this is a no. 

7. Increase the percentage I'm putting into savings. ✖

    July - Egads. Nothing. 

    August - Still nothing.

    September - Have we talked about how pets are not a good financial investment?

8. Frame and display three photos ✖

    July - Sigh. Nope. 

    August - No, but hear me out. I looked at frames. That's something, right?

    September - I continued to look at the frames and discard the idea of buying them because I am too frugal to do it. 

9. Go on a weekend adventure with my husband ✔

    July - No, but I requested that this be my birthday present. My birthday is in August, so I think we will do it in August or September!

    August - Well, we went on a one-night adventure! I'm going to give myself credit for that. I think it was in the spirit of the assignment. 

    September - No.

10. Visit at least one of the following museums in the quarter.  ✖

    Wisconsin Historical Museum

    Madison Museum of Contemporary Art

    Milwaukee Public Museum

    Charles Allis Art Museum

    Grohmann Museum 

    Milwaukee Art Museum

    National Mustard Museum, but only if I go with Anne.

    

    July - No. Huh. This seems like such a good get into the AC sort of summer activity. I need to get on planning something!

    August - Of course not. 

    September - I just couldn't get up the gumption to leave my house. 

11. Clean up my RSS feed. Add three new-to-me blogs to follow. ≈

    July - Not yet. I think this might be a September project. 

    August - LOLs. 

    September - You know what? Forget my RSS feed. I just created a Blog Roll for my blog. I did add a couple new blogs, but only two, so I have a bit of work to do on that still. 

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Well, that's quite a mixed bag, isn't it? I think we all know that I should hem my husband's pants, schedule a day off work (you know what? I just looked at my work calendar and blocked off a random Wednesday in November when I didn't have any meetings scheduled and I TOOK IT OFF and then, because I am a rebel, I took off the day after Thanksgiving, too), and visit museums in my area.

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When is the last time you took a day just for yourself with no commitments or appointments?