I left you all on a bit of a cliffhanger about what I was going to get Blanche's mom since she's abandoning us for greener pastures. Was I even going to get a gift? I think you all knew I was going to get a gift, right? It's what I do.
Well, I got her a nice bag with our town's name on it. Seriously, friends, it's a nice bag.
Then I filled it with my favorite road trip snacks.
Then I got Blanche some presents, too.
And then I gave to her. I didn't even cry. Not once.
****************
Do you find it challenging to meet friends as an adult?
OMG THAT IS A PERFECT GIFT!!! A nice bag with road trip snacks - I'm making note should any of my friends leave here. I'm sorry she's leaving, that's sad for you.
ReplyDeleteI am way in the minority I know but I have not had a hard time meeting friends as an adult. I think it's because I meet women who are in the same "stage of life" as me and they also want to do things as friends.
I love this gift! I think it's perfect. Yes- it's hard to make friends as an adult. I know there are all sorts of ways to do it- I could join a book club or a running club- but it just feels like I'm too busy. Maybe that's just an excuse though- there's always time for the things we really want.
ReplyDeleteI only make work friends anymore, and I dee them only at work . All my mom friends from when the kids were little, well, life gets busy and pulls people in many directions. I think it's me, though, and not just the stage in life.
ReplyDeleteYes. making new adult friends is not easy. Sue had 3 lady friends just in the neighbourhood, but they all passed away, as we say.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew how Nicole does it, because yeah…new friends. I think the last new friends I made were at my job from 1998 - 2000. I’ve been friendly with other parents and work colleagues since then, but never really to the point where you get together and do things. And my IRL friends have almost all moved away. So I have busy times when someone comes to town or I go somewhere, but most of the time it’s my online friendships that nourish me. It would be really nice to have some new friends. At least one, someone who lives here and we could hang out sometimes. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteThat was a thoughtful and wonderful gift. <3
Oh man, I made an awesome new friend at the kids' bus stop a few years ago, but then her husband (who works for the State Department) was offered a post overseas. I was SO bummed. But good news is she's coming back next year. Maybe sooner, if the current administration continues down the path it's on.
ReplyDeleteYou give such thoughtful presents!
Engie, this is a PERFECT gift. So thoughtful - and I love that bag, it is very cute. So very sorry Blanche's mom is leaving. That's really hard.
ReplyDeleteAs to your question: I do find it difficult to make friends as an adult! It's a long process, for one thing. So if you don't have -- or manufacture -- a lot of sustained time together, it's really tricky for an acquaintance to move into a friend stage. Outside of college/grad school, my biggest sources of friends have been work or parents at my daughter's school. But even then it's super hard! I had some good friends at my office job -- we went to each other's weddings and baby showers and ate lunch together. But once we all dispersed from the office, it became very difficult to maintain the relationships and all of them eventually fizzled out. There is one person I was friends with at that job who is a very dear friend to this day, but it has required intentional repeated contact. It helped that he hired me for a few freelance jobs, and it also helped that he was always remote, so our relationship took place largely via email/Zoom anyway. It's ALSO helped that he and his husband have a summer home in the place where I live, AND that he is writing a novel, so we have transitioned our work relationship into a real friendship. My other closest friend is a parent at my kid's school, and we met through a common friend, and then we not only share common interests (our kids, who are the same age and both only girls; writing; and nature), but we are also very intentional about planning the next time we get together. And we've always been like that. When I compare it to other friendships, I see that those didn't go anywhere because we were too lax in planning time to meet up. But it's hard! Everyone is busy! And sometimes it feels awkward and uncomfortable to try to "force" regular interactions, when I really think that might be the key. Goodness gracious this is way too long a comment. Stopping now.
That is a perfect going away present for your friend. I love the bag!! I'm sure she'll treasure it!
ReplyDeleteMaking friends as an adult is hard. Sustaining friendships as an adult is hard. It's all just really hard. I don't have a solution. I know my life will slow down substantially in 8-10 years so I am trying to hold onto the connections I have but I do not have much to give right now to friendships between work/family/marriage but I think/hope people understand. But I"m trying to find ways to squeeze in meet ups with friends when I can.
The cactus dog toy is so fitting. Love it. This was the perfect gift. Well done, you.
ReplyDeleteI find it tough to make friends as an adult - esp as an adult how doesn't leave the house to work. I guess the moms I sit for often become friends, but whoa nelly - way different stages in life. I used to meet parents of my kids' friends and that sometimes still happens, but it's harder - people with kids our kids' ages are often 'all set' with their friendships. While I have a few close friends, they have friend groups that I'm not part of from childhood or their kids' schools, etc., and I don't often feel like I have a 'group', if that makes sense. There are a few people I bump into, who I really like, but I know they have giant friend circles and they will say, let's get together for lunch, etc. and then that doesn't happen unless I text and since I'm aware that they are busy with other friends, I tend to not reach out to set up that lunch. *sigh* Coach's sister is great and we so enjoy hanging with her and her husband. They live near O'Hare so distance wise isn't not impossible, but not exactly easy to meet up on a whim. Oh, and we're TERRIBLE at planning things in advance.
This was the perfect gift! You are gifted at gift giving!
ReplyDeleteI'm not good at friendships. I'm an introverted stick in the mud who likes quiet time at home. Ever since the Covid lockdown, I haven't even tried. I wonder if I'll ever get over it.
Love the gift! I have always had a hard time making in real life friends. I feel like I am ok when we have a very specific thing in common (work friends, dance mom friends, etc.) but I don't really have those overlapping or closer friends here in this physical location. I'm sure some of it is me being ridiculously awkward and some of it is me needing to make more of an effort and some of it is me just being used to life like this.
ReplyDeleteThe gift is perfect. What a bummer that your friend is leaving. I have not had trouble making adult friends. Initially it was through the kids (mother's group, kinder, school etc), but we also have church and now running club. The running club has actually been a source of really close friends that we socialise with a lot now but I'm not sure whether that's generally true of all running groups or just a reflection of the culture of this particular one. I'm not sure how I would go about making friends without these groups, though. I mean, we do know people to talk to at the dog park, but I'm at a loss for how you would move acquaintances like that to the friend zone.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it! I bet that Blanche is chewing that cactus up like there is no tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteYes it's challenging to meet friends, at least in the non-blogging/civilian world. They're busy or I'm busy so we never see each other.
I have gotten better at making time to go to events that interest me (example: book club, and hopefully this fall I'll be able to go to some group hiking events), so hopefully I'll pick up some "keepers" along the way.
BEST gift!
ReplyDeleteI think it would be hard to make new friends now. I've been lucky on a couple of fronts - when we moved here my husband was starting a new job, and the group we fell in with all had kids at the same time and then we were cemented together whether we wanted to be or not. Then blogging led me to another group of people here, first online and then some in person too. The third group is parents of my kids' friends, several of whom I just clicked with immediately. I don't take any of this for granted, it's extremely fortunate.
Such a thoughtful gift! I think the bag is perfect- she will be ready to hit the farmer’s market in her new town with a conversation opener. Interesting to read other’s comments, I have found friendship to be elusive for sometime and put it down to too much work/too many moves/too much immigrant. Still I was able to see my friend recently for a moment of connection in an otherwise lonely RL. She is an amazing woman, I’m so lucky to have her as a friend.
ReplyDelete