Life Ain't Always Beautiful

Sometimes memories can come back with a photograph, a word, a song, or a little slip of paper.

I once met a guy with a smile quick to come and quick to go, a man with hair that he was constantly pushing out of his way so that it was always slightly disheveled, a man who thought hard and articulated carefully. The first time I met him, we ate sushi. I wrote down my number on a scrap of paper and he handed me his number on a scrap he pulled out of his wallet. It wasn't romantic - it was people who liked each other who wanted to meet again to hang out - to introduce each other to friends who would get along - to talk shop in a world where talking shop is sometimes hard to do with many people. That slip of paper is over two years old. I don't know if the number is the same and I don't know where the paper is, but I know I kept it when I was moving out of my old apartment, so it's packed somewhere. And that little scrap is a memory. Of the sushi, conversation, friends no longer friends, times long gone.

Last week - or was it the week before? - I saw this man in the hall. Jeans. Black shoes. A smile quick to come and quick to go. A fast, "how are you?" and a grab of the elbow as I passed him by, rushing off to class. Did he answer me? Did I listen?

Sometimes we don't take the time to hear the answers. It happens. We can't blame ourselves, but we can slow down. Take a moment. Listen. Be comforted by the thought that you are loved and that you love. Write a letter. Pet a dog. Don't forget that it's the little scraps of paper that soemtimes are the things that bring smiles through the tears.

Bad things happen to people who do good things. This past week they happened to a man with disheveled hair and deep thoughts. I will miss him.

Before and After

Before the hair and the makeup and the dress, I was dirty dancing to a little "Time of My Life" courtesy of Moosey Fate.After the hair and the makeup and the dress, I was oh so serious and contemplative about the seriousness of the event.
Congratulations Moosey Fate and Mr. Moosey Fate!!

Questions for Potential Suitors

1) What's your name? 2) Do you have children? 3) Do you have any STDs? 4) Do you like cats? 5) Do you like dogs? 6) Do you have pets? 7) What do you do for a living? (Yes, this comes AFTER asking about pets.) 8) How old are you? 9) Have you ever killed anyone? 10) Have you ever sodomized or raped a child? 11) Have you ever thought about sodomizing or raping a child? 12) Have you ever been convicted of a felony? These last four questions came out of court today. One woman was dating a man for several months before someone told her that he had murdered someone. When she confronted him, he admitted he had killed someone in a bar fight. Only, it turns out that he had really killed some woman he was intimately involved with. Hence, question #9. (He was charged with terroristic threats against this new, undead woman.) Another man was charged with raping and sodomizing his stepdaughter. The mother was there at the sentencing and started her statement by saying, "I never thought to ask him if he would rape my child." Good point. He had no previous history and who asks questions like that? For anyone interested, here's what I would predict Biker Boy would say to answer the above questions: 1) Biker Boy 2) Not that I know of. 3) Not that I know of. 4) Not particularly. 5) They're okay. 6) No. 7) I THINK!!! And theorize. 8) 26 9) No. 10) No. 11) Not until you asked these questions. 12) No. Actually, I know that the answer to the last four questions because I asked him today. Because you can never be too safe.

Can You Be Less Unique?

Overheard in gym:
Girl 1: Where do you get your paronia?
Girl 2: I'm not paranoid.
Girl1: I know, what I mean is your mom or dad the one who is hyper health-conscious?
Girl 2: I guess both.
Girl 1: I mean, you realize that you're crazy right? Can't you just eat this piece of candy?
Girl 2: No. I don't want it.
Girl 1: Can you be less vigilant about your health? Just for one day? You won't die if you walk through the locker room without shoes on!!
Girl 2: It's just who I am. I mean, you can get fungus and stuff.
Girl 1: Can you be less unique? Just try? Just for me?

Office Mate: (nodding at my bike helmet): Is your bike purple?
NGS: Noooooo. . . why?
Office Mate: You're a very purple person.
NGS: Huh?
Office Mate: You are a purple person. Right?
NGS: (I must admit that at this point the FIRST thought that came to my mind was that my AURA must be purple). . . because my helmet is purple?
Office Mate: And your coat, and the shirt you are wearing, and the pen you are using. . .
NGS: OOOOhhhhhh....not my aura!!
Office Mate: (stares)
NGS: No, no, no. My bike is blue.

NGS: (into cell phone) It is so hot here I might die. I am sweating.
NGS friend: What are you wearing?
NGS: A tank top! And jeans! Why sweating? It's only April!! I didn't sign on for this. I live in Minnesota!!
NGS friend: Yeah, I guess. Can we talk about something other than the weather?
NGS: It's not about the weather. It's about sweat!! I think I have sweat off five pounds today. Sweat. Ewwww.

Bench Press This

Going to the gym is sort of the opposite experience of going to the doctor. When you go the doctor you never think it's going to be as bad as it is. I always think, oh, I'll go the doctor, they'll take my blood pressure, listen to my heart, prescribe me some meds, and I'll be home, as good as new, in an hour. But then, the actual experience is unlike that, right? You always have to wait, then they make you do something diabolically painful, like blow into the tube, but you can't blow because it hurts and then you cry, and then they make you wait some more, in that awful gown, with only one magazine, usually over a year old, and then they tell you to come back the next day. Right? This is what going to the doctor is ACTUALLY like.

Going to the gym always seems like it will be AWFUL. You have to get to the gym (why is it so out of the way?). You have to go to the locker room and change. Then you have to do these painful contortions to your body. Then the locker room again. And the leaving. And the out of the way-ness. But, it's not that bad. It's fun. Your body hurts a bit, but that's part of the process. And, with the exception of the endless ESPN, it's entertaining. You can see what other exercises people deem fun and important. You can check out all the people who exercise in khakis (yeah, they do that at my gym - why?). You can dare yourself to move up a plate on the lat pulldowns. Or you can just do your workout and stop staring at everyone else. But it's not nearly as horrible as you think it will be.

Until you go on a day when it's packed. And you have to wait in line for every single machine. And your rhythm gets messed up. And then you start feeling the pain between exercises instead of when you're done. Then you decide to give up because if one more undergrad with more muscle in his left arm then your entire body takes the machine before you, you might blow up the entire weight room Ted Kaczynski-like. Then you feel like a complete and utter failure. That's when going to the gym is like going to the doctor.

Lesson learned: Don't go the gym when it's busy. You will not like it.