This was so magical. Heti writes frankly about her life from the banal to the interesting to the racy. I'm 100% sure if you took the lines from my journals for the last ten years and alphabetized them, they would not be nearly as insightful and poetic as this book was. I loved the repetition of certain phrases and how there was almost always juxtaposition in her feelings or thoughts throughout. I loved the way a cast of characters developed - Agnes, Lemons, Lars - even though time and plot meant nothing since the sentences were just mashed together regardless of when they were written. You see the relationships build and change even though you might be introduced to someone in the Bs and they don't show up again until the Ls. I loved the brutal honesty of Heti's writing and it feels so intimate to be in her brain as she writes about all of the major themes of her life: writing, friends, boyfriends, worry about whether or not marriage is the right thing for her.
I am 100% sure this is not the book for everyone. It's not even as cohesive as stream of consciousness, but rather is held together only by a wing and a prayer. It's disorienting and puzzling and beautiful and mysterious and mundane and prosaic. This was definitely a book for me. 5/5 stars
Things I looked up:
Lines of note:
Actually, not that much is expected of you. Actually, people expect less of you than that. (page 8)
The juxtaposition here is perfect.
Alone in a room. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Already I am feeling happier. (page 13)
I frequently found myself trying to figure out the timeline. Did the four "alones" come from the same journal entry or four separate entries? From a breakup entry? Why so enigmatic?!
Be a pro, Lemons said. Be a woman. Be an individual, he suggested. Be bald-faced and strange. Be calm. Be cautious with your money. Be clean and attractive. Be comfortable and assured and confident in your work. Be creative, is what Pavel thinks people are told, and what is expected of a person, now more than ever. Be direct about the things you need that are reasonable requests, and apart from that, just enjoy him and your time together. Be impeccable with your word. Be miserable about the world. Be optimistic...(page 20)
Pavel and Lars sound like real jerks.
DFW died. Did I betray him? Did I? Did not get much writing done, obviously. (page 33)
This whole sequence made me laugh so hard.
I wish I could wake up alone in oatmeal. I wish I could write about everything in a less completely narrow way. I wish I had never kissed him. I wish my head didn't feel so full of junk. (page 93)
This is not what I write in my journal, but I do indeed frequently wish my head weren't full of junk.
The world doesn't need anything from me. The world doesn't see me, no one is bothering to judge. The world has its place for all of us. The world is great, not mediocre, and I am a part of it. (page 173-174)
Also, it becomes clear that my journal is quite boring because I've never (NOT ONCE) pondered about the world in it. I suppose that's why my random journal entries aren't published.
Things I looked up:
Glenn Gould (page 131) - a Canadian classical pianist
Yaddo (page 141 and 156) - nonprofit retreat for artists and writers located on a 400-acre estate in Saratoga Springs, New York
Helen DeWitt (page 142) - an American novelist who lives in Berlin
The Married Man by Edmund White - Published in 2000, this novel is about an American living in Paris finds his life transformed by an unexpected love affair
Nick Laird (page 165) - a Northern Irish novelist and poet (neither here nor there, but if you are interested in what type of man NGS likes, look no further than photos of this man post-2020)
Hat mentions (why hats?):
Then it was raining, and I put on my hat and scarf and walked in the rain to Vig's place. (page 178)
We played a game with words in a hat. (page 199)
That is a wild idea, and you know what, I am going to read this. It honestly sounds amazing. What an interesting concept. Also, I cannot even imagine how weird my own journals would be. Is it every sentence she alphabetizes? Or journal entry? Either way this is going on my list immediately.
ReplyDeleteEvery sentence is alphabetized. It's absolutely not time-bound at all. An insane project, but I loved it so much. Somehow she got every sentence into a spreadsheet and alphabetized it and then edited down to what it is now.
DeleteOoh, this sounds so interesting! And even with the few sentences you shared, I understand why I have never succeeded in keeping a journal and why I am a much better reader than writer. I think I love to be whisked away more than to whisk. Thanks for whisking me away in 2024, and best wishes for a gentle end to the year.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I hope you have a great holiday season and fingers crossed for a fantastic 2025.
DeleteThis is such a creative and interesting premise/idea. How do people even think of this? I'm so incredibly intrigued. This book might make me reconsider getting an actual library card.
ReplyDeleteHa! I had to get it through my university credentials. I think it's a bit too experimental for our local library. I cannot predict if people will like this or not, but it was such a bonkers idea and it really did work for me.
DeleteHmm! I'm intrigued. At first I didn't like the sound of it, but then when I read the quotes, I loved them. But... the thought of putting TEN YEARS WORTH of sentences in alphabetical order is kind of making my mind go numb.
ReplyDeleteRight? Even just typing them into a database sounds dire. Who's doing that work?
DeleteWhat a concept!!
ReplyDeleteI know! Bonkers! I loved it, though.
DeleteThis sounds fascinating and I love that the result was so meaningful for you! Love the passages you shared.
ReplyDeleteI was so surprised by how much I loved it, to be honest. I went in expecting not much, but somehow found it wonderful!
DeleteThis sounds like the perfect book for me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I was able to recommend it. It was a fun romp. A nonsensical fun romp, but fun regardless.
DeleteSheila Heti wrote one of my most hated books of all time, and I have intentionally avoided her writing ever since. This is not her fiction though (sort of?) so I might try it. I do love that feeling of the book being the Exact Book For You, even though it will not be for everyone.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I do not know that I'll be recommending this widely because it's impossible to predict how people will react to it, but if you're willing to give her another shot, maybe this wouldn't be the worst option. On the other hand, there's nothing in this book that makes me want to read any of her other books!
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