Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write about a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the twenty-seventh day of the month is "Priority."
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Last Saturday, we drove down to my FIL's house for dinner. Everyone was there except my SIL who was doing something with her *other* family. All my husband's sibs, their spouses, and the kids. It was quite a deal. Super fun.
(There was much talk of grilling meat in the planning process and not a whole lot of discussion of other foods. Since I was not interested in the meat, I brought a giant salad along. Romaine (chopped), blueberries (whole), strawberries (diced), cherry tomatoes (quartered), carrots (grated), cucumbers (cubed), feta (crumbled), and a delicious homemade dressing that is made up of Dijon mustard, blueberries, sugar, balsamic vinegar, and vegetable oil (immersion blended). My FIL's wife was startled that I brought a salad. I was startled to think that she thought I would be able to eat anything else if I had not brought the salad.
In truth, I added some potato salad to the blueberry salad to my plate. It was literally the only thing offered that I could eat. So, friends. Was it rude for me to bring a salad without checking with her ahead of time? There was no salad left at the end of the meal - I was not the only one eating it!)
((OOOOOhhhhh...I took a picture of the "Jello fluff salad" that is mostly made of marshmallows that was right next to my "green salad" in the buffet line. This is true Midwestern living.))
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| Legit. Marshmallow jello salad in the wild. |
The two nine-year-old girls, though, are at just such a great age. They are very entertained by one another and I spent some time with them doing the following:
1) Playing a game of can you identify the scent of this Lipsmacker if you smell it with your eyes closed? (Answer: I cannot. I had successfully identified two at Christmastime and was declared the champion and I lost my crown to my husband's older sister. Damn it all.)
2) Giving them makeovers downstairs. I was great at the makeup part but was definitely subpar with the hair. This is the encouragement I need to practice French braiding, a la Stephany. The next time I see those girls, I will be able to French braid their hair. Somehow.
3) Discussing the symptoms of celiac disease and type I diabetes with them. Look, they hear us talking about these things and they ask questions and we answer.
So that's how we prioritized spending time this weekend.
Did you do anything fun this weekend? Big special bonus points if you did French braid a little girl's hair.
I'm in bed recovering from the WORST stomach bug of my life - so my weekend is a very disgusting blur of horrific memories.
ReplyDeleteNO French braiding for me...but I love how much fun you have with your nieces/nephews! How delightful.
Oh, no! Why are you posting blog comments instead of sleeping?! Feel better soon!
DeleteI love Midwestern potluck foods. Bring on the green jello with cream cheese, walnuts, and pineapple. (It's my fave.)
ReplyDeleteI can braid hair, but never picked up French braiding and likely won't. You have incentive, however.
This past weekend we did Lake Things and really, truly relaxed. Good thing because this week I am caring for my mother in my home. That relaxation is out the window now.
There's something really hard about the whiplash of a nice relaxing weekend followed by something stressful. *sigh* I hope the Lake memories can sustain you!
DeleteHa ha! I remember those marshmallow jello salads from trips to my grandparents (in Wisconsin!) I think you were totally right to bring a salad. It's the correct etiquette if you think you won't be able to eat what they're serving. Plus it's just polite to bring something when you go to a party!
ReplyDeleteI was hoping my SIL would bring her Jello pretzel salad, but she did not, so I had to make do. I hope someday to get a photo of it in the wild. Maybe next Thanksgiving? Jello salads make me laugh.
DeleteIt might be rude (*might*) if you were invited to dinner by people who don't know what you can and can't eat, but family? Making a menu of things that you almost completely can't eat? And then being surprised when you brought the salad? The weird is all on her in that case.
ReplyDeleteSHE IS WEIRD about food. She and my FIL basically eat frozen meals and they just don't care much about food, but, I DO. I think they think my husband and I are just being fussy about the meat thing. But I wasn't going to go there and starve, you know?
DeleteSalad sounds delish!! Ok-- french braiding only looks hard. Start with a really small section at the top of the head and divide it into thirds like a normal braid. Every time you cross the hair over to braid it, add a teeny bit more. By the nape of the neck (or maybe before, depending how much hair you add in every time, all of the hair will be in the braid, and then you braid the tail like a normal braid.
ReplyDeleteOkay, fortunately for me I don't have to learn how to French braid my OWN hair, but your explanation sounds pretty simple, so I'm going to have to try it out on....hmmm...I don't have a good practice partner. I'll have to try it on my own head. Sheesh. This goal seemed easier in theory than it is in practice.
DeleteI think it's okay to bring a salad, especially if you know ahead of time that it is unlikely you will find something else you can eat. Also, that salad sounds delicious. I enjoyed your notations about each ingredient and find myself quite tickled at the idea of non-whole blueberries. (You said your blueberries were whole, which made me think of the opposite.) Your nieces sound great. I love it when kids ask questions about Grown Up Topics. Of course they are curious and of course they should expect matter-of-fact and age appropriate responses. It's good they can go to. you for that!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I cut the blueberries in half if they're those giant ones from the grocery store! I didn't need to do that this time, though. This salad is delicious and I was not surprised that a lot of people who took helpings went back for seconds.
DeleteMy nieces ARE great. They ask interesting questions and I'm always happy to answer them. Now, I can kind of see why their parents are a bit tired of answering all their questions...
I think that salad sounds good, and I doubt that you offended anyone, well maybe one someone. 😀. Unfortunately, I don’t love a lot of veggies, but most salads appeal well enough.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't like lettuce much, so if I'm having salad, there's going to be a lot of other veggies because lettuce is boring.
DeleteI did not French braid anyone's hair but I do know how to do it. I was going to detail how but I see Sarah already has! So I won't repeat. Do you have type 1 diabetes? I didn't realize that!
ReplyDeleteSo for I don't know how long my MIL will make a meal that I cannot eat at all, and when we renovated our vacation house/ soon to be our regular house, it improved everything immensely for me as I could actually contribute to meals and eat them. Prior to this I would eat, I don't know, a plate of mushy cooked carrots for Thanksgiving dinner and then later eat trail mix by myself in my room because I was starving. I remember one very sad occasion when we were driving to Kelowna from Vancouver, and the four hour drive became an eight hour drive because of a massive accident. So my MIL said don't worry about dinner, I'll make you dinner when you get here! So here we were with two children and we were all starving...and she had made oven-fried chicken. That's it. No sides, no bun, nothing. And yes, my kids eat meat but they also eat a lot of other things and a meal is not just fried chicken WITH NOTHING ELSE. So I had to go out and get myself something to eat, and I am STILL salty about it. All of which is to say is that I totally get this and feel seen.
Oh, NO, I do not have type 1 diabetes. My SIL does. At this moment, her glucose pump had beeped at her that her blood sugar was very low and she essentially sprinted across the kitchen to grab a cookie and I had to get her to a chair because she broke out into a sweat. She's very conscientious about controlling it, but it's very hard for her (hers is a tough case, her body has been through several pregnancies, and she has other dietary restrictions that make all of it CHALLENGING). My nieces saw me being a bit concerned and saw my SIL checking to see if there had been any changes to her blood sugar levels and started asking some very good questions. (It's HARD because every one of my husband's siblings has an autoimmune disease and these kids know it might possibly happen to them.) So. Lots of things there.
DeleteMy husband has spent many a holiday sneaking up to his room to eat. We now always have a cooler and some non-perishable food with us no matter where we go. My FIL's wife is just not interested in food and I don't think hosting comes naturally to her, so she regularly forgets things like there are two people who require GF menus, several vegetarians, etc. It's FINE, because I can feed myself, but it's weird that she was taken at all by surprise that I did provide for myself.
So. Yes! I feel you. Don't promise something if you can't provide it!
I have an opinion on bringing your own food to family gatherings - DO IT!
ReplyDeleteIt would have been rude to bring say, a food truck with a complete alternate meal for everyone. But when the chances are high that there won't be anything there that you can eat? With extras if anyone else wants to try it? Hells yeah. My vegan parents always bring their own food and my SIL always brings a gluten free meal for my niece UNLESS it's one of the rare times when I know we have something at the party that they can eat, in which case I let them know in advance. In the rest of the family we have off and on food things - at one point my BIL didn't eat onions, the occasional person who wants to stick to a diet, yada yada. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY EAT I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM.
Yes, I think my FIL's wife just doesn't quite GET us as a couple. I think a lot of my husband's other siblings just sort of go with the food flow because they can just stop at McDonald's afterwards, but that's not really an option for us, so we need the food to be edible FOR US. Food is just SO FRAUGHT in our/my world and I never know when I'm being unintentionally rude. These comments are making me feel better that I didn't do anything wrong.
DeleteI'm not great at French braiding hair. I haven't had much experience with it either! I wish I could french braid my own hair but it's a bridge too far and I only really want it french braided for running races which I don't run very often anymore!
ReplyDeleteUgh, the jello salad. I do not care for those kinds of "salad." I think it's completely fine and kind of expected to show up with something for a family gathering, especially when you have dietary restrictions. I'm the only gluten intolerant person in my family so they know I will bring things if need be and would never be offended. I'm going to a very big get together this weekend but we are driving up the morning of the gathering so I kind of think I will get a pass on bringing anything, plus my mom will surely bring a lot of things so it will be fine.
You're definitely a lot more easygoing about the food stuff than my husband is. He would never eat anything at a large gathering that he (or I) didn't bring unless it was in an unopened, labelled package. And once something has been placed on a buffet, he's never touching it again. I think his reactions to even a small amount of gluten are so severe that it's not worth the risk. And, at this point, we've ceased even trying to be polite about it. LOL.
DeleteAt our very big family reunion, we pack a cooler and stop at a grocery store. Everything stays in our room/car and no one but my husband (or me, I guess) can touch any of it. He even brings his own utensils and plates.
So when I hear you talking about getting a pass on bringing anything, I just can't even imagine how freeing that would be!
I don't have the same level of sensitivity that he does, though, so that helps. I don't even technically have Celiac - or it hasn't been confirmed with testing so I call myself gluten intolerant. I mostly end up eating things like chips/salsa/guac, fruit salad, etc. It's easier when my family hosts because then I know for certain what ingredients were used in a marinade for example, so I'd feel comfortable eating the grilled meat. I know my mom won't use gluten in anything she makes, so I can usually find enough things to eat between what she brings and packaged foods, etc.
DeleteFor sure. I think my husband used to trust his mother to bring food for him when she was alive and she was super conscientious about cross contamination. It's nice to have family who are on your side!
DeleteAww, those two are so sweet! I love the game and that they are curious.
ReplyDeleteIt was not rude AT ALL to bring a salad.
I ran with a friend this weekend (in Burlington!). That was fun!
I LOVE the Lipsmacker game! Everybody should play it.
DeleteMarshmellow jello salad (WHAT?) sounds truly awful. Haha.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it was rude to bring a salad if you have dietary restrictions and don't want to make it a "big deal"... and since you didn't know what was there to eat (besides meat), I thought it was thoughtful to bring something to share!
The marshmallow Jello salad is actually pretty good, tbh. I'm really surprised they haven't caught on in the rest of the world!
DeleteI have on occasion French braided my kids' hair, but it always comes out very lumpy. It usually works better for me if their hair is wet. There is a child at our bus stop who always has the most perfectly smooth, and tight looking French braids. I want to know her (or her parental figure)'s secret. I feel like the secret might be having two extra hands. I never seem to have enough hands to both braid and add the hair without having the braid loosen as I go.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny - if someone had a child with food restrictions and they brought their own food for said child to a gathering, I don't think that parent would feel self conscious about being rude because... well, child needs to be fed. And I don't know that the host would feel slighted. Sometimes I think we have to be our own parent and just do the things that we know we need.
I think some people just get the "doing hair" gene and some people don't. I think you and I missed it!
DeleteI love French braids! We used to do each others hair in soccer so that we would all be sporting two braids! I have not done someone else's hair in ages though.
ReplyDeleteOh, the joys of being a vegetarian. I was a vegetarian for about 15 years and I was constantly having issues with group dinners. My grandmother made lasagna and told me to eat it but "pick out the meat" and my boyfriend did not tell his mother so she made this huge Portuguese clam boil (which has sausage) with a side of braised pork chops and I basically had to be rude to her AND only eat bread for dinner. Bottom line: I ate A LOT of bread in those days. Now I eat meat, but I also ALWAYS volunteer to bring a salad, and just like you said, even though they may scoff, IT GETS EATEN!
Right? Bread isn't even an option for us because of my husband's restrictions! Neither is pasta! I realize we made a choice to be a vegetarians and that's on us, but don't get prickly if I bring food because I made a choice that made us hard to feed!
DeleteWith everyone about you being absolutely right to bring that salad (which sounds delish) to the gathering. And thanks for clarifying about your MIL--I was thinking bad things about her and Nicole's MIL for a while!
ReplyDeleteUgh. I don't even call her my MIL, I call her my FIL's wife. My husband's mother died in 2017 and he got remarried in 2020. His new wife is perfectly nice, but she's in a tough position to be compared to my husband's mother. It's been a rough transition for her to figure out the family dynamics and her place in it, but we're all slowly trying to adjust. It was difficult that a lot of their early marriage was during the pandemic, so we didn't have a lot of interaction with her. We're muddling along, but I'll probably never call her my MIL (maybe step-MIL?). I think she's quite disappointed that only one of the grandkids (out of 11) call her grandma, but that's how it goes.
DeleteI don't think it was impolite at all.
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to play the Lipsmacker game!
I'm not good at French braiding. All the way through high school, my childhood best friend braided my hair for me for band competitions. 🖤
The Lipsmacker game is really fun, even if you don't get any right! It's crazy because you think you know those scents, but you really don't!
DeleteHow is marshmallow and jello salad??
ReplyDeleteI think it's weird that they would be startled by yuou bringing a salad. They know you and what you eat. No braiding here, but we did see a five more dingoes.
I don't know how it's a salad, but it truly is in the Midwest. There's no gathering without it! It's also pretty good, so I don't want to hear any guff!
DeleteMore dingoes! How exciting! Did they get close?
French braiding! Yes! I watched a friend do it, which helped me figure out the pattern and then watched Youtube videos. My biggest trick is to just do the whole French braid and don't give up even if you think it will look terrible. (That's what I kept doing.) And it's okay if it looks messy!
ReplyDeleteI think it's hard to have to practice on your own head? Did you find that to be true?
DeleteReasons I do not have long hair, or children who might have long hair. French braids. They scare me. I always feel like I missed the day when everyone else learned about makeup and hair. I am [still] so clueless. Sigh. I would have completely flunked the Lipsmackers challenge and your nieces would have laughed me out of the room. ;)
ReplyDeleteAlso, for your viewing pleasure:
https://www.southernliving.com/recipes-with-cottage-cheese-7551930
Of note: Someone I know from work has a favorite salad that is lime Jello based and has... iceberg lettuce in it, of all things. Yum?
I have had most of the dishes listed in that Southern Living article. I think they cheated by having cherry and cranberry fluff - they're basically the same thing. LOL
DeleteLime Jello and iceberg lettuce, huh? I mean, I'm wouldn't knock it until I've tried it!