Bestest Friend and I are doing a blog project. Each day we will write a post on a pre-determined theme chosen by a random noun generator. The theme for the fourteenth day of the month is "Control."
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How much control do you have over your living space? Even if you live alone, there are probably things you want to change, but can't, like the color of the wall if you're a renter or the low ceiling in the dining room. If you live with other people, there's always the clash of interior decorating styles, a difference in cleanliness levels, or the mishmash that comes with combining households.
In general, Dr. BB and I are on the same page about where we live. But there are some things that come with being married to him that I just have no control over, including the fact that our home office has developed a nautical theme over the last year.
The one of the right is actually kind of charming. It used to be part of a set of five and each one has the name of one of Dr. BB's siblings and their date of birth on the sails. My FIL broke up the set and gave each one to the person whose name was on it. It was much more effective as a set and it feels weird to have it up all by itself. But now our office celebrates the sea. Go us.
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| Adding another angle of the room so you will understand why we call it the office. It's not just a place where my husband keeps his musical instruments. |
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To see what Bestest Friend has control of, go visit her at Too Legit to Quit.
A flaming ship would not be my choice, either.
ReplyDeleteI have control over all the decor in the house, but it's only because my husband does not care and has no preference or style. All of those decisions fall to me, and it gets pretty annoying being The One all the time. And exhausting.
I agree that having to make all the decisions all the time is exhausting. I'm happy my husband cares enough to give me his opinion, even if it does mean there's a burning ship on the wall.
DeleteWhat a great choice and I love how diplomatically Nance puts things above (A flaming ship would not be my choice, either. - Hilarious comment).
ReplyDeleteMy husband definitely cares about the aesthetic of our house, but we see eye to eye on most things. I don't love this one framed print we have of a Matisse. I agreed to put it...in the guest room. But I think I'm so fortunate to have a husband who does care but who is almost always in agreement with me on design decisions (or doesn't care as much as I might about things and will defer to me; e.g. I picked a neutral paint colour we both love - Pale Oak by Benjamin Moore as an FYI, which is the perfect griege in my opinion - but he didn't care NEARLY as much as I did about undertones etc).
I guess the thing I have the least control over is my kids spaces. I try to walk a fine line between recognizing that I need to prioritize my mental sanity (aka: they cannot keep every art project they ever make) with knowing they are independent people who are forging their own way in the world and their rooms/possessions are one of the few areas where they HAVE control. It's tricky to navigate, and I don't do it perfectly, but I definitely have to let go of my desire to have everything neat and tidy in their bedrooms.
I think it would be SUCH a challenge to have entire rooms that are essentially in another person's control, like a child. I mean, of course you need to teach them hygiene and cleanliness, but can you control what decorations they put up? When I was a tween/teen, I had posters of Skid Row and Warrant on my walls and my parents never said a word. I wonder what they really thought about that!
DeleteA flaming ship. That sends... quite a message. One thing I am most distraught over not being able to control is the living room wall. I have wanted to put up a gallery wall for YEARS, maybe even a DECADE at this point, but I cannot do it myself (am terrible with straight lines, am afraid I will break the wall) and my husband does not care about the project enough to help me and I cannot force him to. It is SO frustrating. I feel like I nudge him gently forward about an inch each year so maybe in another decade it will be up.
ReplyDeleteCould you lay out the things you want on the gallery wall on the floor in front of it, so he HAS to deal with it? Or is that just the sort of passive aggressive thing I would do that would lead to marital discord? LOL. I'm sorry you don't have your gallery wall, but I'm sure you'll get one in the next decade. (This makes me think maybe we should stop doing monthly/quarterly/yearly goals and just give up and add things like "get artwork for the main room" as decade goals.)
DeleteI am not above passive aggressive, sometimes, lol. But my fear is that I would lay out the frames and then they would become invisible to him and my child but a trip hazard for me. Sigh. I am all for decade goals!!! Low pressure, baby!
DeleteBurning ship. Huh. Most things in the house are in my control, generally, other than structural stuff. Except that yesterday my son accidentally broke a piece off of the bathroom tile downstairs. I...do not think this can be fixed. So that's something. Maybe I'll put a little rug over top of it.
ReplyDeleteThe cracked tile in our downstairs bathroom is forever a trial to me. It's all over and I can't just put down a rug (although that would be my solution if it would work, so do that if it will cover up the broken tile!), but I just grit my teeth and wait until we eventually remodel. Maybe one of those decade goals I was writing to Suzanne about!
DeleteHa ha, in our house it's the opposite. Hanging in our living room is an abstract painting that I inherited from my parents. My husband thinks it's hideous and has asked several times to take it down, and I'm like, 'This was hanging in my living room for my entire childhood!!!" So, I guess just be glad the painting of the flaming ship is in the office and not your living room.
ReplyDeleteOh, I think we would have had a discussion if he'd tried to hang it on the ground floor! Hardly anyone besides us goes upstairs, so it's sort of hidden away. I'm going to give your husband some credit for not moving it to a less traveled location in your house!
DeleteMy husband does not care much about aesthetics in our house, but often puts up a fight if I want to change something (he doesn't like change and clutter, so anything I like to "add" to our space, he resists - at first. Sometimes, I just "do it" and he'll then say "never ask me again, you decide! It looks really nice" LOL However, there is still a lot I'd like to change in our home.
ReplyDeleteThe burning ship would have been my choice either, but at least it hangs in the office and not the living room :)
For sure. I'm grateful it's not on our main floor level!
DeleteI have a den with a desktop computer. Sue has a corner in the bedroom where she uses her laptop or tablet or does crocheting.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we each have laptops in addition to our desktops, so we rarely work in the office at the same time because someone can just take their laptop elsewhere.
DeleteDoes it make a difference if a couple gets a new place together compared to one moving into the other's house? In our case, I moved in with the hubs and the boys, so they dominate. If it was a high enough priority we'd get our act together and work out some kind of unified style. Based on our progress to date, I think the ETA on that will be a few years after the kids move out. And maybe not even then;-)
ReplyDeleteI think it makes a BIG difference, actually. My FIL's new wife moved into his house when they first got married and all her stuff ended up in storage by default. It wasn't until they moved together as a couple that they had to deal with their divergent decorating philosophies. I think it was a high priority for her and she just couldn't make the changes she actually wanted in his house, so they had to move.
DeleteI have So Many Thoughts on this. SO many thoughts. Being single again after a long time with someone has led to some interesting insights re: our differences in how we approach our space. Let's just say that tchotchkes and leaning-towards-minimalism don't necessarily align all the time. I don't want to write a blog post in your comments. ;)
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