Our neighbor has a different approach to yardwork than we do. We inherited a yard that was jampacked with native plants and very little grass. It's bed after bed of bee-balm, ferns, asters, goldenrods, milkweed, coneflowers, cup flowers, stupid roses I can't kill (I don't mind roses, to be fair, but they are planted at places that get frequent foot traffic and I don't want people to get scratched, so I have been trying to get rid of the roses in those high traffic areas), hyssop, wild bergamot, and the like. We do have some non-native plants like a few hostas and bulbs like tulips and daffodils, but we've tried to keep the plants limited to prairie protecting species. Well, I say we, but as I mentioned above, the previous homeowners are mostly responsible for that.
For a brief time period, I think my husband and I thought we would probably do some yardwork and reconfigure so that there was less prairie-inspired madness and more like a "regular" yard with more grass. But as we've lived here longer, we see that our yard has lots of wildlife, including a wide diversity of birds, insects, and small mammals. Our yard isn't too far off in its wildness from others in the neighborhood and there's a local group in town that is really into protecting properties like ours. We do have some grass and it gets mowed semi-regularly, but the truth is that our yard requires remarkably little work for us and it provides some good results for the environment and we are not really invested in having a picture perfect suburban yard, so we've basically left the yard to do whatever it wants.
Our neighbor does not share this philosophy. She moved in a year or so ago and immediately began pulling out all the native plants, replaced them all with hostas (which are really fine, but I wish I'd known that's what she wanted because I would have given her all the hostas out of our yard), and started chemically treating her grass. Look. I know some of you are people with picture perfect suburban yards and you're like, this is normal. I know that some of you are wondering why I'm so upset about this.
Here's why. We live a block and a half from a river. All those gross chemicals are getting into our water supply. I have a dog and for weeks at a time I have to keep her from my neighbor's yard (and, more relevant for me, the sidewalk in front of her yard where you know some of that crap lingers). Those chemicals are likely leaching into my yard.
There's nothing to be done here. She's a really great neighbor, but we just don't agree on yardwork. Or the presence of windchimes. (Do you have windchimes? Why? The noise pollution is terrible for birds. Also, it's not a consistent enough noise to be white noise, so it keeps me up at night when the windows are open. Basically, take down your stupid windchimes. During the next thunderstorm, something *might accidentally* happen to our neighbors windchimes.
But I really started writing this because our neighbor fired up the lawnmower at 6:55 yesterday morning. I get why she did that - highs in the 90s and all the warnings are don't go outside for longer than ten seconds! and it probably was the coolest it will be for weeks at 6:55 yesterday morning, but there are a number of issues I have with this. One, because the forecast is 80s and 90s for weeks ahead, your grass is not going to grow if you just leave it alone. Two, aren't a lot of people still in bed at that time? I feel like starting up your lawnmower before 9am is a violation. Let alone before 7! But maybe that's me?
Anyway, this makes it sound like way too much complaining about our neighbor. She's truly lovely. Likes my dog. Has taken my trash cans in for me when we were out of town. Regularly mows the strip of lawn between her house and ours (this might be a passive aggressive dig at our lawnmowing frequency, but I take it as a nicety), has helped us with yardwork, lent us her wheelbarrow, and regularly texted when she's going to be in our yard for one reason or another. She's lovely, I promise.
What's your neighborhood drama? If you chemically treat your grass, please don't tell me. If you have a favorite native plant you think I should put* in our yard, what is it?
* Ha ha! This will never happen. Our yard is overplanted as is and we have not once actually planted anything.
There was a great foofaraw in a neighbouring town when one household decided to let their yard go natural. It was against bylaws, and they were told to stop. Eventually, the council allowed it. As long as natural means something like you have I’m all for it. If it simply means, not mowing, that is not so good. I think it meant the former in that case.
ReplyDeleteYour yard sounds pretty! My husband likes a good lawn and I like a giant garden, so every year I edge a little more grass to make my garden bigger. I would love a mostly-plant yard but well, marriage. One must compromise. I think I told you the house next door to me sold to a lovely couple with an adult daughter who has a disability, so they are completely renovating it, right down to the studs. The crew is there usually way before 7, but they are usually pretty quiet before 7. I think it's a bylaw, no noise before 7 and maybe later on the weekends. I think I mentioned they were there really late for about a week or so, but that seems to be finished now. Other than that, no drama. I love my neighbours, they are all great, some are pretty eccentric but I live close to the university, which gives a real mix of people. I love it.
ReplyDeleteI think windchimes are pretty in theory (unless in that moment I have a headache), but in practice they are so inconsiderate unless you live in the middle of nowhere and no one but you has to listen to them. Pushing them on neighbors is rude. (I would dream of sneaking them down, but never do it. I am very nonconfrontational, though I talk a big game in my head.)
ReplyDeleteLawn mowing before 7 is also super rude, no matter how she might justify it.
I kind of wish you would encounter her when walking the dog and keeping a safe distance from her yard, and when she calls to you to say hi, come on over to chat, you would say regretfully, oh, I can't get closer, you know, the lawn chemicals could kill my dog!
I wish you were my next-door neighbor! Okay, where I live in Florida people LOVE their green lawns. The problem is, grass is the stupidest thing to have in Florida. You really have to put in a ton of effort, watering in the dry months, and doing something to kill the weeds (I think most people are using toxic chemicals because it's easiest.) We just can't bring ourselves to do those things, so in the 20 years we've lived in our house, the "lawn" has basically turned into a "meadow." We still mow it, so it looks sorta, kinda, okay, but I'm sure the neighbors hate us. What we really need to do is go all-in and xeriscape it, so it's actually intentional. But even then we'll be the only ones in our neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteCan you post a picture of your yard sometime? I would love to see it!
Our yard is a disaster in terms of curb appeal, but it's GREAT for pollinators. We actually have a huge wild patch on our side lawn. I do want to do some landscaping to make it look a bit more presentable, but for the most part we live in a part of the country where people don't really care about lawns too much and I like that! I put some vinegar on weeds in our front walkway and that's the extent of our "treatment."
ReplyDeleteWe actually have a No-Mow May movement where we live, and some people just end up leaving their lawn untouched all summer. We have 100s of bees that come to our side patch.
I don't get all the carefully manicured lawn, thing. I'd like our's too look a little less wild, but I find many subdivisions things just look so boring and NO ONE USES THEIR LAWN for anything. No kids playing on it, no badminton nets.
We actually have a really tough neighbourhood situation right now. It has caused me immense levels of anxiety. It's really hard, too, because until last fall our neighbourhood was absolutely perfect in every way - lots of kids, incredible neighbours, and there has just been a really difficult situation that came up and it mostly just impacts us because our proximity to this new family that moved in; if we were 10 houses further away it would be a non-issue. It's too complicated to explain, but it has been such a mental burden over the last 9ish months. I feel so bad about thinking this way...but I really, really hope this family moves away.
Oh, I totally stepped it in with a neighbor a couple summers ago. Kind of a long story. So the neighbor girl's husband used to make random comments about some other neighbors up the street who had one of those big 5th wheel campers parked on their driveway all summer. Their house looked right at it, and I guess the guy found it annoying/ an eye sore. I personally tend to agree that they are not that pleasant to look at, although I understand the need for people to park them somewhere! Anyway, fast forward a couple years, and this neighbor couple got divorced and the camper-hating husband moved out. After a while, the same neighbor lady started dating a new guy. One day, they showed up with this really, really old and ugly camper (belonged to the new boyfriend) and they parked it on the driveway- right across from my house, in front of my living room picture window. For months on end. Ugh. (Again, I get it....it's their property and they absolutely have the right to park whatever they want there!! But it really was an eyesore....not even a nice looking camper.... ) Anyway, it kind of drove me bananas. Even though I KNEW I had no right to be bothered by it. Finally I couldn't help myself, and one day I tried to nonchalantly ask, in a way that I thought was really neutral (via a text message), if the camper was going to be staying there permanently/ all winter too. In my head, it was just a really simple, neutral question. Ha...... Um, let's just say she did not take it that way. LOL!! She got super mad and it turned into this huge thing...she was super pissed that I was "commenting" on the appearance of her yard.....UGH I really, really, really wanted to go back in time and take back my "question"! I had kind of thought we were on the same page about not liking the camper views, but I guess it was more her ex-husband that felt that way, not her! (maybe that's why they divorced? hahahaa just kidding.) Finally I apologized profusely and it kind of blew over. She's friendly enough now/ waves hello, will chit chat with me, but I'm pretty sure we won't ever be BFFs. Oops.
ReplyDeleteDealing with a yard is one of the reasons I think I'll be a renter for my whole life, lol. (That, and never having to do any maintenance on my home.) It just seems like so much work! And work I am not very interested in. And in Florida, it's a whole THING because of our rainy seasons and grass can grow so quickly. And the weeds! No thanks.
ReplyDeleteThere is luckily no drama in our neighborhood currently. We are lucky to have great neighbors. I think having any sort of conflict with a neighbor would be the worst! But people are very weird about their yards. My MIL is super obsessed with her yard and others. She has a lawn service that comes on Mondays and she hates that they come on Monday because her yard doesn't look great by the weekend which I guess is the time to show off your yard? She frequently makes comments about others' yards. My parents, especially my mom, are obsessed with their yard, too. I just don't care all that much about ours? My husband does all of the yard work, though. I can't see either of us getting so into our yards in retirement, though. And we do not live in suburbia, so no sprinkler systems for the most part. John Green has a great essay in his latest book about lawns and how much water is used when watering them!
ReplyDeleteUhm, I kinda love that you let your yard grow wild and I probably would also resent the neighbor for how she goes about hers... not because of the aesthetics, but because of the environmental impact.
ReplyDeleteWe don't own our duplex, so I do minimal gardening myself... but our neighbor, a lovely lady most of the time, sometimes takes the liberty to trim our front bushes (mind you, we have gardeners and really like the privacy those bushes provide), but she feels like there's a sucker plant in there that needs to be trimmed out.
I would love to have you for a neighbor. I would actually ask you if I could steal some of your native plants for my own yard. I don't understand people who yank out native plants that are welcoming to pollinators, and replace them with non-native plants that they then have to water and maintain. This makes no sense to me. Also, if her yard is not entirely shaded, then I can't imagine her hostas are very happy. :)
ReplyDeleteOne challenge of living in the apartment is that they do treat the grass. And there are kids who play on the playground, which granted, has mulch, but still. It drives me bonkers, but what are you going to do? At least the lawn service cuts back the frequency of their visits in the summer...