Election Day 2020

In 2016, I was gleeful when I left the polling place in November. I was so excited that I voted for Hillary Clinton for president - a strong, powerful, smart woman. A woman who was criticized for everything from her clothing to the wrinkles on her face to her political record to her "overpreparedness" for presidential debates, but somehow managed to do it all with grace and composure. Clinton wasn't my first choice in the primaries, but I was all behind her campaign and I was excited to vote for her.  

It's upsetting that the last four years have turned that memory around on me. I want to take NGS of four years ago and tell her that she shouldn't get so excited and that a man with a huge history of sexual assault and irrational decision making will be elected because too many people found a woman "unlikeable." I want to tell her that a man who watches Fox News as his primary source of agenda setting will guide our nation through international intrigue and be responsible for our nation's health in a global health crisis. I want to tell her that things are bad, but they're only going to get worse.

I sent in my absentee ballot a couple of weeks ago and, according to the official website, it has been received by the county clerk.  Wisconsin cannot begin counting ballots until after the polls close, so the countless text messages, phone calls, and GOTV brochures left on our porch were just an unnecessary lead up until tonight or tomorrow or next week or whenever this is actually decided.  And I want to tell myself to chill out and to not relive the 2016 election, but I'm not chill.  I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm dreading the next few days.  

Because this time we know the consequences of a Trump election. In 2016 I might have held out some hope that maybe Trump would rise to the occasion and become a thoughtful person once he was installed in the Oval Office. But the last four years have given rise to vocal racists, including those virulent supporters of white supremacy, the appointing of three (one-third) Supreme Court justices who frequently vote because of politics rather than law, collusion with foreign leaders, and countless rude, thoughtless, and plain mean statements, many coming from Twitter. 

This time. It has to be different.