We try to keep to a schedule, honest. The alarm goes off every morning at seven and we ignore it until 7:30 to 8:15. I walk the dog while Dr. BB feeds the cat and then I train and feed the dog. We eat breakfast. And that's when things go awry.
Sometimes I shower right away. I'm so excited to shower. Sometimes I remember to put on sunscreen and makeup. I wear a scarf and pretend like I'm going somewhere.
Sometimes I just go straight to work in my pajamas. I'm not excited to shower. I barely have the motivation to brush my teeth, let alone accessorize.
Some days we exercise in the morning. Some days I realize it's eight at night and I still haven't worked out.
Some days there are Zoom calls and meetings and Webinars and my mind goes round and round in circles. There's so much to do and so little time to do it in. Some days there is nothing on the calendar and I read a book on the couch until the sun goes down.
Some days we are on the ball. Dinner goes in the crock pot and it's ready to go at 6 on the dot. Other days I realize that we are missing crucial ingredients for the recipe I had planned and we end up eating scrambled eggs and popcorn.
Some days there are things to look forward to. There are Zoom calls with my friends. Sunday night I'm devoting the entire evening to my book club call and I literally don't even care if I'm the only one on the Zoom call. The drive to daycare on Tuesdays is kind of exciting - I wouldn't say that I'm a big fan of driving normally, but because I'm doing so little of it, it's thrilling and when I get to go over 45 miles per hour, it's like I'm a newly licensed teenager all over again.
Some days there are things to not look forward to. Our university's chancellor talking in a campus-wide video-conference about furloughing faculty members and staff members. Days that had been planned travel days (I was going to get to see my mom!) are now just reminders of things we can't do.
The things that go on like clockwork:
The cat and dog are fed in the morning. The dog is trained before she eats breakfast.
I have a regularly scheduled Monday morning meeting.
The dog goes to daycare on Tuesdays.
The cat and dog get fed dinner. The dog is trained before she eats dinner.
The dog gets two long walks and one or two short walks every day.
And that's it. Every day the routine is different. I try to reach out to someone who doesn't live in my house every day via Facebook or text message or email or phone. I try, but sometimes I fail. Motivation to keep going waxes and wanes and it's never clear to me what my level is going to on any given day.
I still want to support our small businesses. Here are some small steps I have taken.
1) I am still paying for classes at our local yoga studio and (more importantly) taking the classes through Zoom so that the owner knows the demand is still here.
2) I bought $60 worth of honey from a local farmer. I usually buy the honey at the farmers' market, but I just called and picked it up at the farm itself, setting down the money under a flower pot. It felt vaguely like I was doing a drug deal.
3) I signed up for our yearly CSA. I would do this anyway, but I signed up early and flooded my social media with reminders for other people to do it. Good news! The CSA sold out. Bad news! I didn't get in on time for a spring share.
4) I take the dog to daycare once a week, just like normal. I can do the whole transaction without any contact. I open the trunk of our car, Hannah zooms out and heads to the gate where the owner/operator is standing to let Hannah in. Hannah goes without her collar or harness - just a naked dog. When I pick her up, I open the trunk, walk over to a coffee can, put in my $20, and the owner/operator opens the gate and Hannah jumps into the car.
5) I did a curbside order of birdseed from our local garden shop. (I was glad I did curbside because there were a TON of maskless people in that store and I almost had a panic attack at the thought of having to actually go inside.)
And we wait. We don't know what the future holds. Maybe it's too optimistic to assume that our yearly CSA will just be like normal. Maybe it's dumb to spend money on birdseed when our salaries are going to be cut by 10%. Maybe it's going to turn out that dogs can spread COVID-19 and I'm going to regret sending Hannah to daycare. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
But the world keeps spinning, right? And we have to make SOME plans for the future. So we solider on.
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