Hypothetical Sprained Thumb

I'm not saying that you, fine reader, would ever sprain your thumb.  I'm not saying that you would trip on a rug in your dining room and fall directly on your thumb. And I'm definitely not saying that said thumb would swell up and turn purple within minutes of said fall.  All I'm saying is that if this DID happen to you, and it happened on your dominant hand, here are some things you might expect to be a struggle.

1) Getting dressed and undressed. You can probably manage most of it, but buttons are challenging. Bra hooks are hilarious and may cause you to look like a contortionist. Forget about unhooking a necklace. And let's not even talk about shoelaces.

2) Typing. You know how your thumb is used on the space bar with surprising regularity? You're going to have to rely on the thumb on your non-dominant hand and it will slowly drive you insane.

3) Caring for injured thumb. Technically you should be icing your injured thumb when you're at home.  You put the splint on for things like walking the dog, working out, and meeting other people (shaking hands is awkward, but people don't squeeze hard with the splint). But you probably won't be able to put the splint on your own damn self without someone's help, so when that someone (hypothetically your spouse) goes somewhere all day (hypothetically to work), you just forget the icing and wear the splint.

4) Putting on the dog's harness and leash. Hopefully you have a patient dog who will watch you fumble and not say a word, although  she's probably looking at you with extreme pity.

5) Grabbing the cat when she runs upstairs, which she knows she isn't supposed to do, but still tries to do a half a dozen times a day.

And that's it, my friends.  Forewarned is forethumbed.