How You Know Things In Your Life Aren't That Great

1) You go to a store in your sweatpants and aren't even embarrassed.

2) You ask the guy working on your kitchen sink, "hey, you want me to take that stuff out from underneath the sink? it will only take me a few seconds" and he says no.  You figure out what happened next.

3) Your sister-in-law gets huffy over something stupid (via fucking Facebook) and then your husband gets all sad about it, doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, and there's nothing to be done because no one is changing their stance on the ridiculousness of the Catholic Church and/or belief in "God."

4) Your fucking cat still bites. Still.

5) You are having a email exchange with a rude student who doesn't seem to realize that every time he gives me another excuse for his shitty work, you dig in your heels even further about NOT changing the grade.  No matter what.

6) The sun hasn't shone in days despite the little sun icon on the Weather Channel that pops up whenever you enter your zip code.  Maybe it's sunny somewhere else in this town that isn't where my home is?

An evil, vicious LIE!!!

7) You're scheduled to give a lecture in 48 hours on something you have no clue about. Is it incredibly wrong to just want to read out of a book from the library for thirty minutes?

8) You go for a walk, but since it is February and there is ice everywhere, you consider this more of an exercise in skirting the edge of death, much like a game of Russian roulette, only with ice instead of bullets.

9) So many things in our household still have gluten. I am not even talking about food products anymore. It's so much more insidious than that. There are some things I can't change (the toothpaste and oral rinse my dentist recommends).  There are some things I didn't know (fuck you Burt's Bees).  There are things I am reluctant to give up (Benefit lipstick and my shampoo), but know that I have to because I am watching my husband waste away a little more everyday.

10) On the bright side, there is this.  I'm a little bit obsessed with stories of fan death and people who believe in fan death, so this makes me happy.