5 Things About a Kitten

My husband took this photo and posted it to Facebook with the following caption: Zelda totally cheats when doing pull ups.

She's not properly a kitten anymore since she's almost one-year old, but there are some things I have learned in the last year.

• She's not being mean or naughty when she reaches up to swat at you (or bite you!) while you are sitting there reading/watching tv/typing on your keyboard/eating dinner at the table, but she is bored.  If she does this action repeatedly, it is your responsibility as kitty owner to stop whatever you are doing to play with her.  This has meant that, yes, there have been one-handed meals with the other hand devoted to controlling the laser pointer.
• She will never stop playing with the toilet paper.  You will just have to keep it under the sink.  No, I have no idea what you people with pedestal sinks should do.
• Her favorite toys will be her favorite toys for about two days.  Then she will be ambivalent about them until you have a closet full of toys and no idea what to do with them.  Gently used kitty toys to Once Upon a Kitten?
• Oh, you picked your kitty because she was super cuddly when she was eight weeks old, did you? Well, be prepared. Once she gets to be about four months old, she's never going to want to cuddle with you EVER AGAIN.
• She will play you for a fool, fool.  You think she's crying outside your bedroom door because she misses you and she's lonely.  Fool.  She just wants in your bedroom and will dart into the bedroom as soon as you open the door.  Don't be a fool a million times in a row.
• BONUS BULLET POINT:  Just pick a damn cat food.  I don't know why you gotta spend 80 gazillion hours researching the benefits of Science Diet versus Evo versus Friskies versus Wellness.  Just pick one and go with it.  (AHEM.  I went with Wellness Core and she seems to like it just fine.)