Dear Sister

My dearest sister,

I know that I don't often take time to tell you how much I appreciate all you do. You are the duly appointed caretaker in our family and I don't know how you do it without going absolutely batshit insane. Well, actually, I find that you are just a teensy bit crazy, but, really, that's completely understandable. I find, while in the presence of our mother, that I revert back to 17, which would make me certifiably crazy, right?

Anyway, thank you. You are awesome.

I worry about you, though. You're still intimidated by the fast food workers of America as I observed when I visited earlier this month and you refused to take your order back even though it was entirely wrong. This inability to confront strangers with problems that you have? It's kind of a problem.

Also, I think that you think soap opera characters are real. I recently started tuning in to General Hospital once a week so that I could call and have something to talk to you about (who is the guy with the Irish accent? why is Jax married to Carly? Tracey and Luke? WTF?) and they way you talk about them sometimes makes me nervous. I made a comment about how Vanessa Marcil must have been hard up after Las Vegas got canceled and you just stared at me like I was rude to acknowledge the actual actress.

I'm a smidgen worried about the animal situation in the house, too. Two cats and four dogs is about four pets too many. Let's work on not replacing the animals as the inevitably die, okay?

But, really, I just want you to know that I appreciate you. It does ease my guilt to know that mom has someone around to count on. And I know you sometimes feel like you are responsible for everything. You're not, you know. You can call me. I'll help. I promise.

Thanks for everything!
Your favoritest sister in the world