Miscommunication

She started crying randomly while we were at the kitchen table. She was babbling as two-year- olds are wont to do and we weren't paying much attention to her. Suddenly she was pointing at a pear and screaming, "Buh. Buh. Buh."

BB and I just stared. We had no idea what was happening. Her parents sighed heavily. "You can never tell what's going to set a toddler off."

Her mom modeled fabulous parenting for us. Mom asked the crying child to count to ten. The child screamed her numbers. Then mom told her to take deep breaths and took some breaths with her. Lastly, the mom asked her to be very clear. The little girl, tears screaming down her face, gulping deep breaths, yelled "BUG!!"

I looked very closely at the pear. Yes, indeed, there was a picture of a bee on a sticker on the pear.

Mystery solved.

The last few days have really reminded that I am not emotionally far removed from that two-year old. When I fail and miscommunicate, I am just as likely to break down into tears as that little girl was. It is a failure on my part and it keeps leading to disappointment after disappointment for me.

1) I use a "subtle" tone in an email to tell a coworker that I don't want to do something. I receive a "thanks for volunteering" email in return. Entirely my fault. I should not have relied on subtlety through email.

2) I specify to my students that they need to do #1 or #2 or #3. When several students claim it is too much work, I realize they think I mean do #1 and #2 and #3. Somehow my voice is not getting across.

3) I specify "something different" and the exact same thing happens.

It is item 3 that sent me over the edge today. Am I not speaking? Am I invisible? Do my words mean nothing?

So the next time a small child is screaming, I resolve to dig into my well of patience and try to figure out what's going on because there's nothing worse than feeling like no one is listening to you. Nothing worse.