Dear Target

Dear Target on Highway 7,

Between yesterday when I was at your store and today when I was at your store, something strange happened. Your store exploded into an excessive sea of rabbits. There were static clings of rabbits on your front doors; big, larger than life cardboard cutouts of rabbits greeting me at the front door when I entered your store; and signs hanging over my head throughout the store with rabbits prancing about evilly.

I understand that this profusion of rabbits is in preparation for the strange holiday of Easter. I get that, I guess. I will ignore for the time being my own aversion to rabbits (stinky, nasty, mean little biting creatures all of them) and concentrate on what upset me more than the false portrayals of this rabbits as cute, fluffy, kindly bunnies*. But, more importantly, what happened to the leprechauns?! Last I checked, St. Patrick's Day was before Easter and it hasn't happened yet!! How dare we put all our shamrocks, rainbows, and maps of Ireland away before March 17?! Or, I guess, how dare you make me worried that I have somehow missed an entire holiday?

So, hey, there's a chance I might be in your store again soon. I'm not so great at remembering to get all the items on my list at one time; hence the repeated entries to your fine establishment in the course of 48 hours. Could you possibly remember to ixnay the abbitays for the next time I wander in?

Thanks so much for your time and consideration in this very vexing matter.

Yours in shopping solidarity,


*No, I really can't get over the larger than life cardboard cutouts. Do you mean to torture little NGS as she walks through your store?! I almost fled the scene in terror for my life! What if one of those things accidentally ANIMATED and then there were GIANT rabbits running around enclosed inside the store?! You never know when a poorly trained wizard will accidentally lose control...

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Dear Check Out Guy At Target on Highway 7 at 2:15 this afternoon,

Remember this conversation?

Me: How are you?
You: Not good.
Me: Oh, sorry. Stuck here for a long time still?
You: Oh, no. Just can't wait to get my boat back on the lake.
Me: Oh, yeah. Still a ways away, you know. Snow still on the ground. Lake's are still frozen.
You: (finally smiling at me) Oh, yeah. But give me four more weeks. I'll be out there. And it's going to start raining in 40 minutes according to the weather boys. Rain makes the ice melt.
Me: Well, good. Thanks for making me think this rain is good.
You: It's good.

Well, I'm trying to keep this conversation in my mind as the rain keeps coming and coming and the days are gray and gross. If I make it through the rest of this dreary week, it will be due, in part, to you.

Thanks for your cheer!