317/365 - MJ
You have a dry, understated, sardonic sense of humor that makes those dinner parties of death by boredom something I look forward to. I wish we were friends who hung out at times other than times we’re forced to make appearances for our husbands’ sakes.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
45 x 365 #316
316/365 - JK
Meeting you was worth the hell of grad school. My first year, I met you at a coffee shop and cried a little. I doubt you know how important it was to me that someone listened to me that day. Thanks for being sweet you.
Meeting you was worth the hell of grad school. My first year, I met you at a coffee shop and cried a little. I doubt you know how important it was to me that someone listened to me that day. Thanks for being sweet you.
Friday, February 26, 2010
45 x 365 #315
315/365 - JW
The remnants what remained of a football player’s body often got in the way when you’d clumsily walk into a door frame or accidentally nudge someone across the table. You were always apologetic and often bemused by your inability to control your own (huge) body.
The remnants what remained of a football player’s body often got in the way when you’d clumsily walk into a door frame or accidentally nudge someone across the table. You were always apologetic and often bemused by your inability to control your own (huge) body.
School Tales
His mother works away from the home Thursday through Tuesday. His job is to get his two younger sisters out of bed in the morning, get them breakfast, get them to the school bus, get himself to the bus, come home, help them with their homework, make them dinner, get them to bed, do his own homework, and get himself to bed. If one of his baby sisters is sick, he stays home with her. If one of his baby sisters misses the bus, he stays home with her. If he doesn't get up when the alarm goes off, none of them go to school.
On the rare occasions when he does make it to school, he tries so hard. But when you attend school regularly only two times a week, there's too much all at once. When homework is the last thing you do in a day like his, it's a low priority that rarely gets done. How can I expect him to do it? His life is busier than mine. He's smart, he's kind, he's polite, he's the best big brother in the world...he's eighteen and only a sophomore in high school.
His mother doesn't know where he spent last night. His mother last saw him when he stopped by to borrow $20 two weekends ago. When I call her to discuss his sleeping in class, she interrupts me to tell me that she doesn't know how much he sleeps or where he sleeps and she cannot be held responsible for him.
I took him aside, away from all the other kids, and asked him to turn in his book to page 112. He opened it to page 57. Is this the right page? He really didn't know which page was 112 - he couldn't tell. How can I ask him to do Algebra, even simple Algebra, when he doesn't know his numbers? I ask him to read a problem. He tries, he tries so hard, but he just can't do it. He's smart, he's funny, he's sassy....he's fifteen and barely knows the alphabet.
On early release days we don't serve a school lunch. The kids tell me all day long that they are hungry. I have spent more money than I care to think about to keep a box of NutriGrain bars and a selection of juice boxes in my offices.
On the last day of school, I find her in the bathroom, crying, after the final bell has rung. I'm so hungry, she tells me. I box up leftovers from the last day picnic and hand it to her. Lunch was usually her only meal of the day, she tells me.
Before I started at this job, I had heard stories like this. Stories of kids who hadn't been fed, who didn't have a steady place to sleep, who were raising their siblings, or who just plain don't have parents who are involved enough to see them fall behind. But, being here, seeing their faces, hearing their stories is enough to make me end up in the bathroom tonight, crying, wondering what difference I am making. They aren't just stories to me, these are KIDS, people with faces, with funny jokes, and a future that makes me sad.
I'm not always the most patient teacher. I get pissed when they don't try. But it is only very recently that I've begun to realize that they can't try - they probably can't think of anything except how hungry they are and how their moms and dads aren't coming home that night. How can I expect them to try when they can't read? Add negative seven and five when they can't even write the number seven? It's not THEM, it's ME. They are young, idealistic, and often neglected and sad. I need to do better, be better, be more understanding.
Because at night I come home to a warm apartment, a fridge filled to the brim with healthy food, and a loving family. And who knows what they go home to?
Please support your local schools. Please support your local food shelters. When you see a homeless person on the street, remember that they were, in all likelihood, born into a lifestyle without a lot of options. Be patient, be kind, and always place yourself in the shoes of someone without all your advantages.
On the rare occasions when he does make it to school, he tries so hard. But when you attend school regularly only two times a week, there's too much all at once. When homework is the last thing you do in a day like his, it's a low priority that rarely gets done. How can I expect him to do it? His life is busier than mine. He's smart, he's kind, he's polite, he's the best big brother in the world...he's eighteen and only a sophomore in high school.
His mother doesn't know where he spent last night. His mother last saw him when he stopped by to borrow $20 two weekends ago. When I call her to discuss his sleeping in class, she interrupts me to tell me that she doesn't know how much he sleeps or where he sleeps and she cannot be held responsible for him.
I took him aside, away from all the other kids, and asked him to turn in his book to page 112. He opened it to page 57. Is this the right page? He really didn't know which page was 112 - he couldn't tell. How can I ask him to do Algebra, even simple Algebra, when he doesn't know his numbers? I ask him to read a problem. He tries, he tries so hard, but he just can't do it. He's smart, he's funny, he's sassy....he's fifteen and barely knows the alphabet.
On early release days we don't serve a school lunch. The kids tell me all day long that they are hungry. I have spent more money than I care to think about to keep a box of NutriGrain bars and a selection of juice boxes in my offices.
On the last day of school, I find her in the bathroom, crying, after the final bell has rung. I'm so hungry, she tells me. I box up leftovers from the last day picnic and hand it to her. Lunch was usually her only meal of the day, she tells me.
Before I started at this job, I had heard stories like this. Stories of kids who hadn't been fed, who didn't have a steady place to sleep, who were raising their siblings, or who just plain don't have parents who are involved enough to see them fall behind. But, being here, seeing their faces, hearing their stories is enough to make me end up in the bathroom tonight, crying, wondering what difference I am making. They aren't just stories to me, these are KIDS, people with faces, with funny jokes, and a future that makes me sad.
I'm not always the most patient teacher. I get pissed when they don't try. But it is only very recently that I've begun to realize that they can't try - they probably can't think of anything except how hungry they are and how their moms and dads aren't coming home that night. How can I expect them to try when they can't read? Add negative seven and five when they can't even write the number seven? It's not THEM, it's ME. They are young, idealistic, and often neglected and sad. I need to do better, be better, be more understanding.
Because at night I come home to a warm apartment, a fridge filled to the brim with healthy food, and a loving family. And who knows what they go home to?
Please support your local schools. Please support your local food shelters. When you see a homeless person on the street, remember that they were, in all likelihood, born into a lifestyle without a lot of options. Be patient, be kind, and always place yourself in the shoes of someone without all your advantages.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Hi, I'm Aunt Rebecca
It was all special episode of Full House in my Algebra class yesterday. I had to do an event where I got to talk in front of a large crowd of about 80 perfect strangers last night and so I was dressed a bit more nicely than usual in my class because I didn't have time to go home and change before said event. I was wearing a cute outfit (pretty much this one here), makeup, and contacts.
So I don't wear my contacts very much because the burning, stinging, and blurry vision typically are too much for me. But I put my glasses in my purse (just in case) and thought I'd try to wear my contacts all day. For once.
The kids immediately start freaking out when I enter the classroom. Ms NGS are you for real? You look so nice! Those are great boots! Where did you get those earrings!
The flaming gay boy says, "Your makeup looks really nice today."
The even more flaming gay boy with the blue eyeshadow and silver mascara (dude, where does he even buy it?) who spends 50% of class time looking at his mirror, looks up from said mirror, and said, "Oh em gee! Ms NGS is wearing makeup?!" He looks at me a bit closer.
I'm standing in the front of the classroom trying to get them to shut the fuck up so we can draw a graph, but they refuse to stay on task.
FGB #2 says, "you can't even tell she's wearing makeup."
FGB #1 says, in a completely serious way, "that's how you know it's good."
I say, knowing that not a single one of them will get the reference, "yes, yes, I'm Aunt Rebecca and FGB #2 is DJ Tanner. Let's move on then. Graphing!!"
New Girl, who has only been in my class for two days at this point, interrupts. "Is that considered business casual?"
Me: . . .
Thank God tomorrow is Friday.
So I don't wear my contacts very much because the burning, stinging, and blurry vision typically are too much for me. But I put my glasses in my purse (just in case) and thought I'd try to wear my contacts all day. For once.
The kids immediately start freaking out when I enter the classroom. Ms NGS are you for real? You look so nice! Those are great boots! Where did you get those earrings!
The flaming gay boy says, "Your makeup looks really nice today."
The even more flaming gay boy with the blue eyeshadow and silver mascara (dude, where does he even buy it?) who spends 50% of class time looking at his mirror, looks up from said mirror, and said, "Oh em gee! Ms NGS is wearing makeup?!" He looks at me a bit closer.
I'm standing in the front of the classroom trying to get them to shut the fuck up so we can draw a graph, but they refuse to stay on task.
FGB #2 says, "you can't even tell she's wearing makeup."
FGB #1 says, in a completely serious way, "that's how you know it's good."
I say, knowing that not a single one of them will get the reference, "yes, yes, I'm Aunt Rebecca and FGB #2 is DJ Tanner. Let's move on then. Graphing!!"
New Girl, who has only been in my class for two days at this point, interrupts. "Is that considered business casual?"
Me: . . .
Thank God tomorrow is Friday.
45 x 365 #314
314/365 - MB
A sweet southern Texan with a heart of gold and a collection of Barbies that rivals the volume of blush at the Miss America pageant. At the State Fair, we’d watch horse shows we didn’t understand and laugh so hard Coke came out our noses.
A sweet southern Texan with a heart of gold and a collection of Barbies that rivals the volume of blush at the Miss America pageant. At the State Fair, we’d watch horse shows we didn’t understand and laugh so hard Coke came out our noses.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
45 x 365 #313
313/365 - KR
Shy? Superior? Uncertain? Conceited? Inhibited? Haughty?
Who knows the answer?
Maybe you just didn’t like me.
Maybe you just wanted to go home.
Maybe you thought your life would be different.
Maybe you were just uncomfortable with the language.
Maybe I don’t want to know.
Shy? Superior? Uncertain? Conceited? Inhibited? Haughty?
Who knows the answer?
Maybe you just didn’t like me.
Maybe you just wanted to go home.
Maybe you thought your life would be different.
Maybe you were just uncomfortable with the language.
Maybe I don’t want to know.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
45 x 365 #312
312/365 - KI
You made me question myself. I can’t listen to that song without thinking of you. The headlines make me wonder what your strange take on the stories would be. I can’t live here without your indelible imprint on my understanding of what politics should be.
You made me question myself. I can’t listen to that song without thinking of you. The headlines make me wonder what your strange take on the stories would be. I can’t live here without your indelible imprint on my understanding of what politics should be.
Books, Books, Books (Take Three)
Last we left, I was obsessed with Jules Verne and loving him because of his great work on Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. Let's just say that the rest of the Verne collection did not go well for me. I tried to read The Mysterious Island, but, as far as I could tell (30% through the book according to my Kindle), it is the most boring island on the planet and the dear fellows stranded on the island are also hardworking, industrious folk who don't deserve their fate, but are going to make the best of it. Snoozefest. I made it about five pages into Around the World in 80 Days before I just gave up and admitted that my Verne love didn't extend any further than the trip around the sea.
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was also a disappointment to me. This canonical work is important, sure, but it's also dreadfully boring and nothing nearly exciting happens until three pages until the end. It doesn't help that the main character, in whose mind we exist, could make watching paint dry seem exciting. I'm glad I read it, but please don't make me do that again. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was not bad and Irving's descriptions were amazing (I could see Ichabod Crane in my head, I could see the horse coming at him, I felt like I was there) and, again, I'm glad I read this canonical book, although I probably won't pick it up again.
At this point, I think I was starting to get nervous that I just don't like the classics. So I busted out more Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes character and read The Hound of the Baskervilles. Loved it!! Holmes is brilliant. I have more Sherlock Holmes to read on my Kindle.
Then a friend recommended the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan. It's a young adult series, in the manner of Harry Potter. The premise of the books is that the Olympic gods are real and have children with mortals, called demigods. The main character, Percy Jackson, is a demigod, and adventures ensue. I've read all five of the books and I enjoyed them. J.K. Rowling doesn't have to worry about Riordan ruining her fan base, but I think folks who like HP would like these books.
Another friend recommended The Magicians by Lev Grossman, telling me it was like Harry Potter, but with grownups. The book is GREAT. I adored it and had a hard time putting it down, especially towards the end. I highly recommend this. The characters are messed up real people, acting just as how I would imagine most of us would act in strange situations. The book is made up of four "books" and the second book is pretty awful, but the other three more than make up for it in characterization, setting, and plot. Go read it now.
This same friend recommended the MaryJanice Davidson Undead series. Chick accidentally gets turned into a queen vampire. I read the first two books (Undead and Unwed and Undead and Unemployed) and enjoyed them both in a bath tub, light reading kind of way. The dialogue is sharp and I love the references to the Twin Cities. I'll probably finish the series, but I don't feel a rush to do so.
I downloaded the book Daisy Chain: A Novel by Mary E. DeMuth because it was free. It was excellently written and depressing as hell. At the end of the book, I wanted to crawl into my bed and stay there for the next year and if you like reading stuff that hurts you inside, go for it. For my part, I'll never open that book again. Too sad.
Faking It by Elisa Lorello is a good read. I also purchased this one because it was free and I almost stopped reading it early on when I thought it was just going to be another book on how hard it is to be an academic. Since I know how hard it is from first hand experience, I really didn't feel like I needed fiction to tell me. Anyway, this turned into a different book than that, more about open-mindedness and growing self and that makes it sound like it was boring and it wasn't. Two words: Male escort. Pretty good book. I'll give it a B-.
The Picture of Dorian Gray. Hmmm. I hate to say that I gave up on a classic, but at 26%, this book was KILLING me. I was avoiding my Kindle, knowing Oscar Wilde would be there mocking me. So I gave up. I thought the dialogue was contrived and cheesy (example: two men just met and one of the men is IMMEDIATELY telling another man that he's beautiful, but it's too bad he's just going to get old and die). I thought the plot was taking FOREVER to actually get started. And so I stopped. Sorry, Oscar.
I did read The Time Machine by H. G. Wells and it was an okay read. I wasn't riveted, but I could see how it could have been quite creative and important in its day.
I also read The Summoning by Kelley Armstrong and it's a young adult book about supernaturals and I loved it. I could hardly put it down. It's the first in a series, but I refuse to get the rest of the series because it's not free. But my guess is that my vow to not read the rest of the series will come to a grinding halt the next time I'm evenly remotely short on things to do.
Synopsis:
Couldn't finish Verne or Wilde
Bored by Ichabod and Dr. Jekyll
Yay Sherlock Holmes and Lev Grossman (A++)
DeMuth and Lorello are probably worth reading
MaryJanice Davidson gets my shout out for hometown references
Really just want to read young adult fiction (Kelley Armstrong and Rick Riordan)
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was also a disappointment to me. This canonical work is important, sure, but it's also dreadfully boring and nothing nearly exciting happens until three pages until the end. It doesn't help that the main character, in whose mind we exist, could make watching paint dry seem exciting. I'm glad I read it, but please don't make me do that again. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was not bad and Irving's descriptions were amazing (I could see Ichabod Crane in my head, I could see the horse coming at him, I felt like I was there) and, again, I'm glad I read this canonical book, although I probably won't pick it up again.
At this point, I think I was starting to get nervous that I just don't like the classics. So I busted out more Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes character and read The Hound of the Baskervilles. Loved it!! Holmes is brilliant. I have more Sherlock Holmes to read on my Kindle.
Then a friend recommended the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan. It's a young adult series, in the manner of Harry Potter. The premise of the books is that the Olympic gods are real and have children with mortals, called demigods. The main character, Percy Jackson, is a demigod, and adventures ensue. I've read all five of the books and I enjoyed them. J.K. Rowling doesn't have to worry about Riordan ruining her fan base, but I think folks who like HP would like these books.
Another friend recommended The Magicians by Lev Grossman, telling me it was like Harry Potter, but with grownups. The book is GREAT. I adored it and had a hard time putting it down, especially towards the end. I highly recommend this. The characters are messed up real people, acting just as how I would imagine most of us would act in strange situations. The book is made up of four "books" and the second book is pretty awful, but the other three more than make up for it in characterization, setting, and plot. Go read it now.
This same friend recommended the MaryJanice Davidson Undead series. Chick accidentally gets turned into a queen vampire. I read the first two books (Undead and Unwed and Undead and Unemployed) and enjoyed them both in a bath tub, light reading kind of way. The dialogue is sharp and I love the references to the Twin Cities. I'll probably finish the series, but I don't feel a rush to do so.
I downloaded the book Daisy Chain: A Novel by Mary E. DeMuth because it was free. It was excellently written and depressing as hell. At the end of the book, I wanted to crawl into my bed and stay there for the next year and if you like reading stuff that hurts you inside, go for it. For my part, I'll never open that book again. Too sad.
Faking It by Elisa Lorello is a good read. I also purchased this one because it was free and I almost stopped reading it early on when I thought it was just going to be another book on how hard it is to be an academic. Since I know how hard it is from first hand experience, I really didn't feel like I needed fiction to tell me. Anyway, this turned into a different book than that, more about open-mindedness and growing self and that makes it sound like it was boring and it wasn't. Two words: Male escort. Pretty good book. I'll give it a B-.
The Picture of Dorian Gray. Hmmm. I hate to say that I gave up on a classic, but at 26%, this book was KILLING me. I was avoiding my Kindle, knowing Oscar Wilde would be there mocking me. So I gave up. I thought the dialogue was contrived and cheesy (example: two men just met and one of the men is IMMEDIATELY telling another man that he's beautiful, but it's too bad he's just going to get old and die). I thought the plot was taking FOREVER to actually get started. And so I stopped. Sorry, Oscar.
I did read The Time Machine by H. G. Wells and it was an okay read. I wasn't riveted, but I could see how it could have been quite creative and important in its day.
I also read The Summoning by Kelley Armstrong and it's a young adult book about supernaturals and I loved it. I could hardly put it down. It's the first in a series, but I refuse to get the rest of the series because it's not free. But my guess is that my vow to not read the rest of the series will come to a grinding halt the next time I'm evenly remotely short on things to do.
Synopsis:
Couldn't finish Verne or Wilde
Bored by Ichabod and Dr. Jekyll
Yay Sherlock Holmes and Lev Grossman (A++)
DeMuth and Lorello are probably worth reading
MaryJanice Davidson gets my shout out for hometown references
Really just want to read young adult fiction (Kelley Armstrong and Rick Riordan)
Monday, February 22, 2010
45 x 365 #311
311/365 - SC
Short, compact, athletic with the temperament of the classic schoolyard bully. In retrospect, I’m sure she had some type of disability and would be labeled as having oppositional defiant disorder or some such nonsense today, but back then she just scared and threatened us all.
Short, compact, athletic with the temperament of the classic schoolyard bully. In retrospect, I’m sure she had some type of disability and would be labeled as having oppositional defiant disorder or some such nonsense today, but back then she just scared and threatened us all.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
45 x 365 #310
310/365 - BR
I remember a quiet, shy girl with nary an original thought to be had. You were inoffensive, but never really entered my narrow circle of thoughts. But the Facebook you takes controversial stands on controversial topics and makes me laugh. Who is the real you?
I remember a quiet, shy girl with nary an original thought to be had. You were inoffensive, but never really entered my narrow circle of thoughts. But the Facebook you takes controversial stands on controversial topics and makes me laugh. Who is the real you?
Olympic Announcers
In case you are wondering what I have been doing with my life, let's just say that I am now on a first name basis with Kris, Al, and Mary. If you don't know what that means, you clearly have not been glued to NBC with your every available second to watch people people jump, twist, twirl, skate, ski, and fall.
There are three types of sports announcers on NBC. (For those of you with special fancy cable who get to watch all the sports on the zillions of NBC affiliates, maybe you can add to my classification.)
1) The announcers for sports I watch exactly once every four years (I would usually call these irrelevant sports) who announce exactly once every four years. They call things like luge, skeleton, and bobsled. They never explain anything in a way that makes any sense.
Example: The two man bobsled is going down the track, looking exactly like the previous bobsled. The split time is about seven hundredths of a second slower and they make comments like "they were too smooth in that turn" without explaining what "too smooth" means. The problem is that the runs go by so quickly, they can't explain what happened on the last one before the next one appears. I don't know. I never feel more educated after watching.
2) The announcers for sports I would watch more frequently if they were ever on (ski jump, biathlon) who have a bit more experience and could be good if given the opportunity by being able to announce more frequently.
Example: The announcers for the men's biathlon had some awesome conditions to explain - it snowed, rained, and sunned in the span of about thirty minutes. They desperately tried to explain to the viewing audience what effect the changing conditions would have on the competitors, which was interesting, but they did this at the expense of some of the basics of shooting and skiing that I was hoping they'd explain.
3) The actual, we do this for a living announcers who are good at explaining everything, but know when to shut up and let us just watch. These are the announcers who do events like snowbocross and ice skating. They make us think that dumb events (ice dancing anyone?) are judged on important criteria and we can start seeing what makes one performance different from another.
And there you have it. Don't watch bobsled if you want to learn anything, but you can learn that patterns and how close hips are together are important in ice dancing. It's my life.
In about a week and a half, I'll get back to posting more regularly about non-Olympic related items.
There are three types of sports announcers on NBC. (For those of you with special fancy cable who get to watch all the sports on the zillions of NBC affiliates, maybe you can add to my classification.)
1) The announcers for sports I watch exactly once every four years (I would usually call these irrelevant sports) who announce exactly once every four years. They call things like luge, skeleton, and bobsled. They never explain anything in a way that makes any sense.
Example: The two man bobsled is going down the track, looking exactly like the previous bobsled. The split time is about seven hundredths of a second slower and they make comments like "they were too smooth in that turn" without explaining what "too smooth" means. The problem is that the runs go by so quickly, they can't explain what happened on the last one before the next one appears. I don't know. I never feel more educated after watching.
2) The announcers for sports I would watch more frequently if they were ever on (ski jump, biathlon) who have a bit more experience and could be good if given the opportunity by being able to announce more frequently.
Example: The announcers for the men's biathlon had some awesome conditions to explain - it snowed, rained, and sunned in the span of about thirty minutes. They desperately tried to explain to the viewing audience what effect the changing conditions would have on the competitors, which was interesting, but they did this at the expense of some of the basics of shooting and skiing that I was hoping they'd explain.
3) The actual, we do this for a living announcers who are good at explaining everything, but know when to shut up and let us just watch. These are the announcers who do events like snowbocross and ice skating. They make us think that dumb events (ice dancing anyone?) are judged on important criteria and we can start seeing what makes one performance different from another.
And there you have it. Don't watch bobsled if you want to learn anything, but you can learn that patterns and how close hips are together are important in ice dancing. It's my life.
In about a week and a half, I'll get back to posting more regularly about non-Olympic related items.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
45 x 365 #309
309/365 - JB
An all American kind of guy – your high school class president, the top twenty percent of your college class, medical school, a wife before your residency was over, and a kid on the way before the start of your second year of fellowship. Nice. Boring.
An all American kind of guy – your high school class president, the top twenty percent of your college class, medical school, a wife before your residency was over, and a kid on the way before the start of your second year of fellowship. Nice. Boring.
Friday, February 19, 2010
45 x 365 #308
308/365 - JB
You lived on Hooker Driver and the irony of this was not lost on high school me. You were clever, athletic, your hair was a shampoo commercial in the making, but your scandalous reputation is all I can think about when I hear your name.
You lived on Hooker Driver and the irony of this was not lost on high school me. You were clever, athletic, your hair was a shampoo commercial in the making, but your scandalous reputation is all I can think about when I hear your name.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
45 x 365 #307
307/365 - MT
You make a terrible first impression. I thought you hated me on sight until we worked a table together and you made me laugh and laugh. Then I realized that you’re shy and unsure at first, but you eventually warm up and are quite hilarious.
You make a terrible first impression. I thought you hated me on sight until we worked a table together and you made me laugh and laugh. Then I realized that you’re shy and unsure at first, but you eventually warm up and are quite hilarious.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
45 x 365 #306
306/365 - KP
You called my engagement ring gaudy. You felt your own socializing was so important you missed family pictures at the wedding. You wouldn’t even look at those pictures of the puppy she was so proud of because those snapshots of your kids definitely took precedence.
You called my engagement ring gaudy. You felt your own socializing was so important you missed family pictures at the wedding. You wouldn’t even look at those pictures of the puppy she was so proud of because those snapshots of your kids definitely took precedence.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
45 x 365 #305
305/365 - CR
Your husband made an astronomical salary , so you only worked when you felt like it. Unfortunately, that was to the detriment of our workplace and our fragile clients. They deserved better than someone who worked only when it didn’t interfere with her manicure appointment.
Your husband made an astronomical salary , so you only worked when you felt like it. Unfortunately, that was to the detriment of our workplace and our fragile clients. They deserved better than someone who worked only when it didn’t interfere with her manicure appointment.
Monday, February 15, 2010
For My Sister
She called me recently and told me that she was going to meet her friends for dinner. I was excited because she rarely does social events. But then she told me that she and her friends were originally supposed to go to a singles event at a local club, but that she talked them out of it because she was uncomfortable around all those other girls who "look so much better than her."
I was so sad for her. Her low self-esteem is holding her back in so many ways.
"Even when I get dressed up, I just see those girls and know that they are so much better than me."
I had the day off today and I spent it at the Mall of America shopping for my sister. After careful consideration, this is the outfit I selected for her to give her the confidence she should have. Each item is something she can wear, she should wear, and the first two are things I know she will.
Up first, a simple white henley. Look at that mini pocket!! I want to wear that henley. Also, since she can only wear black and white to work, she can wear this to work.
Then, I bought this fleece hoodie for her. Unfortunately I couldn't find the pink color I bought in the store on the web site, but it's similar in tone (Bright. Pink.).
And here's where it gets dicey if she'll wear it. This awesome scarf. I think if she wore it with the pink hoodie and a pair of jeans, she'd stand out and be adorable, but she'd be wearing absolutely nothing revealing or uncomfortable. I want her to do it. I want her to wear it. And I want her to be comfortable being herself.
All items purchased from the Gap, where they had a super sale where everything was 45% off today for President's Day. Yay shopping!
I was so sad for her. Her low self-esteem is holding her back in so many ways.
"Even when I get dressed up, I just see those girls and know that they are so much better than me."
I had the day off today and I spent it at the Mall of America shopping for my sister. After careful consideration, this is the outfit I selected for her to give her the confidence she should have. Each item is something she can wear, she should wear, and the first two are things I know she will.
Up first, a simple white henley. Look at that mini pocket!! I want to wear that henley. Also, since she can only wear black and white to work, she can wear this to work.
Then, I bought this fleece hoodie for her. Unfortunately I couldn't find the pink color I bought in the store on the web site, but it's similar in tone (Bright. Pink.).
And here's where it gets dicey if she'll wear it. This awesome scarf. I think if she wore it with the pink hoodie and a pair of jeans, she'd stand out and be adorable, but she'd be wearing absolutely nothing revealing or uncomfortable. I want her to do it. I want her to wear it. And I want her to be comfortable being herself.
All items purchased from the Gap, where they had a super sale where everything was 45% off today for President's Day. Yay shopping!
45 x 365 #304
304/365 - DC
You were my favorite. You taught interesting material in fun ways. You were patient, you laughed with us, and you seemed to understand us. But you weren’t always fair, you weren’t always equal, and you weren’t always present. I guess that makes you a human.
You were my favorite. You taught interesting material in fun ways. You were patient, you laughed with us, and you seemed to understand us. But you weren’t always fair, you weren’t always equal, and you weren’t always present. I guess that makes you a human.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Love Actually
He uses the tube of the toothpaste from the middle.
He thinks ecards are good enough birthday greetings for his family.
He quietly stews on worries we both share, refusing to acknowledge them, as if they will go away if ignored.
He listens to Johnny fucking Cash morning, noon, and night.
He forgets to put money on the laundry card.
He never cleans the bathroom.
He gets angry when I talk during a movie or sing along with the cheesy songs being played at the grocery store.
He calls me a grammar Nazi, but always asks me when he's trying to figure out where that apostrophe should go.
************************************************
He holds me in the night when the wind shakes the building and I wake up shivering.
He smiles when I come in the door and always opens his arms for a hug, no matter how cold, rainy, or snowy I am.
He spends hours hunched over his books and computer, poring over the text, building our future.
He cooks dinner way more frequently than I do and always remembers to start the dishwasher long after I'm snuggled under the blankets.
He puts his laundry away promptly and never says a word when my clothes are still drying in the living room two days after they are dry.
He happily fixes the broken cupboard, puts up the picture frame, and cleans out the aerator in the bathroom sink.
He laughs when he reads the newest xkcd strip.
He curls up on the couch with me, watches Battlestar Gallactica with me, and never teases when I cry for Dee and her awful predicament.
He listens when I vent.
He lets me be alone when I need to be alone.
He nods approvingly at all my Baby Gap purchases, whether he approves of them or not.
He is my life, my joy, and my love.
******************************************
Ours is not a perfect love. There are squabbles, there are disagreements, and there are tears. But in the end, it is us against the world, us for the world, and us yelling at NBC for skipping Uzbekistan in the Parade of Nations.
I love you, dear husband. Happy Valentine's Day.
He thinks ecards are good enough birthday greetings for his family.
He quietly stews on worries we both share, refusing to acknowledge them, as if they will go away if ignored.
He listens to Johnny fucking Cash morning, noon, and night.
He forgets to put money on the laundry card.
He never cleans the bathroom.
He gets angry when I talk during a movie or sing along with the cheesy songs being played at the grocery store.
He calls me a grammar Nazi, but always asks me when he's trying to figure out where that apostrophe should go.
************************************************
He holds me in the night when the wind shakes the building and I wake up shivering.
He smiles when I come in the door and always opens his arms for a hug, no matter how cold, rainy, or snowy I am.
He spends hours hunched over his books and computer, poring over the text, building our future.
He cooks dinner way more frequently than I do and always remembers to start the dishwasher long after I'm snuggled under the blankets.
He puts his laundry away promptly and never says a word when my clothes are still drying in the living room two days after they are dry.
He happily fixes the broken cupboard, puts up the picture frame, and cleans out the aerator in the bathroom sink.
He laughs when he reads the newest xkcd strip.
He curls up on the couch with me, watches Battlestar Gallactica with me, and never teases when I cry for Dee and her awful predicament.
He listens when I vent.
He lets me be alone when I need to be alone.
He nods approvingly at all my Baby Gap purchases, whether he approves of them or not.
He is my life, my joy, and my love.
******************************************
Ours is not a perfect love. There are squabbles, there are disagreements, and there are tears. But in the end, it is us against the world, us for the world, and us yelling at NBC for skipping Uzbekistan in the Parade of Nations.
I love you, dear husband. Happy Valentine's Day.
45 x 365 #303
303/365 - JB
Your parents used you and their God as a replacement for their oldest daughter who died too young before you were born. The pink hair, the pregnancy before you were married, or finished with college, and the sassy mouth were all predictable rebellions for you.
Your parents used you and their God as a replacement for their oldest daughter who died too young before you were born. The pink hair, the pregnancy before you were married, or finished with college, and the sassy mouth were all predictable rebellions for you.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
45 x 365 #302
302/365 - KB
A man in his fifties, still living at home with his mother, spending twelve hours a day working, eight hours sleeping, and four hours wondering what he could have done differently. You’re really funny, but the tears of a clown are the most heart wrenching.
A man in his fifties, still living at home with his mother, spending twelve hours a day working, eight hours sleeping, and four hours wondering what he could have done differently. You’re really funny, but the tears of a clown are the most heart wrenching.
Friday, February 12, 2010
45 x 365 #301
301/365 - DS
"I always thought the idea that majority rules was unfair. When I was little, my friends would take a vote on what to do. When I would lose I would always think there had to be a better way.” Sorry, DS, sometimes life isn’t fair.
"I always thought the idea that majority rules was unfair. When I was little, my friends would take a vote on what to do. When I would lose I would always think there had to be a better way.” Sorry, DS, sometimes life isn’t fair.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
45 x 365 #300
300/365 - SA
Tall, rangy, your limbs move with an awkwardness that reminds me of those machines that are used to assemble automobiles. Your smile is sweet, your intentions are good, and that one time you let me down was one of the biggest disappointments of my life.
Tall, rangy, your limbs move with an awkwardness that reminds me of those machines that are used to assemble automobiles. Your smile is sweet, your intentions are good, and that one time you let me down was one of the biggest disappointments of my life.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
45 x 365 #299
299/365 - BK
A promise filled future thrown away by a drunken night of unprotected sex. You had dreams and plans, and now you have debt collectors and children you love deeply but can't afford to keep in clothes and school. Your life is hard, your choices harder.
A promise filled future thrown away by a drunken night of unprotected sex. You had dreams and plans, and now you have debt collectors and children you love deeply but can't afford to keep in clothes and school. Your life is hard, your choices harder.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Yay Winter!
It hasn't been quite the snowmageddon here in the Twin Cities that it has been in other parts of the country, but I do believe we have more snow here than I've ever seen at one time on the ground in the eight or so years I've lived here. The snow has come in small batches, so we've not gotten walloped all at once, but it's here. And I am enjoying it (for now).
The last few days have been a blur of winter activities. Saturday we went to the Luminary Loppet held on Lake of the Isles. They put gorgeous luminaries all over the lake and cross country skiers and snowshoers go around the lake. Walkers can walk around, too. There were fire jugglers, bonfires, and, of course, plenty of dogs galloping through the snow.
(Photos courtesy of the City Of Lakes Loppet web page).
Sunday we went ice skating at the park a few blocks from our house. I'll be honest - my ice skates are really uncomfortable and I lasted about twenty minutes before calling uncle. I would consider new skates if we did skating more than twice a winter, but I really don't!! Bonus - the park we use (Lyndale - Hampstead) has a warming shed and there are lots and lots of ice skates you can use for free!! Free!!
Then today we went to the same park to go sledding. It has snowed a few inches in the last couple of days (nasty commutes), but it was great fluffy snow for sledding!! We went up and down, up and down, until I made the boy come inside because he does not have snow pants and snow was getting inside his improvised wind pants over jeans combination. (I do have snow pants - awesome pink camouflage snow pants. Those snow pants, combined with my purple coat, are the coolest combo ever.)
Anyway, it's been winter fun and I hope that others are enjoying the weather, too, even if it does mean having to leave the house fifteen minutes early in the morning to get to work on time.
The last few days have been a blur of winter activities. Saturday we went to the Luminary Loppet held on Lake of the Isles. They put gorgeous luminaries all over the lake and cross country skiers and snowshoers go around the lake. Walkers can walk around, too. There were fire jugglers, bonfires, and, of course, plenty of dogs galloping through the snow.
(Photos courtesy of the City Of Lakes Loppet web page). Sunday we went ice skating at the park a few blocks from our house. I'll be honest - my ice skates are really uncomfortable and I lasted about twenty minutes before calling uncle. I would consider new skates if we did skating more than twice a winter, but I really don't!! Bonus - the park we use (Lyndale - Hampstead) has a warming shed and there are lots and lots of ice skates you can use for free!! Free!!
Then today we went to the same park to go sledding. It has snowed a few inches in the last couple of days (nasty commutes), but it was great fluffy snow for sledding!! We went up and down, up and down, until I made the boy come inside because he does not have snow pants and snow was getting inside his improvised wind pants over jeans combination. (I do have snow pants - awesome pink camouflage snow pants. Those snow pants, combined with my purple coat, are the coolest combo ever.)
Anyway, it's been winter fun and I hope that others are enjoying the weather, too, even if it does mean having to leave the house fifteen minutes early in the morning to get to work on time.
Monday, February 08, 2010
45 x 365 #298
298/365 - RB
You lost your oldest daughter to a wicked disease that stole her breath and your life. You live as a ghost in your home with a wife who barely acknowledges you and a different daughter, a daughter who knows she'll never be a good enough replacement.
You lost your oldest daughter to a wicked disease that stole her breath and your life. You live as a ghost in your home with a wife who barely acknowledges you and a different daughter, a daughter who knows she'll never be a good enough replacement.
Friday, February 05, 2010
45 x 365 #297
297/365 - RO
You were always what I called a hands-off boss. You never stepped foot in my office. You never asked me how my weekend was. When you got fired years later, the grapevine whispered innuendos of sexual harassment and embezzlement charges. I'll never know the truth.
You were always what I called a hands-off boss. You never stepped foot in my office. You never asked me how my weekend was. When you got fired years later, the grapevine whispered innuendos of sexual harassment and embezzlement charges. I'll never know the truth.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
45 x 365 #296
296/365 - PA
Four year old you, so little, so sweet, asking when she would get friends. Sixteen year old you, so tall, still sweet, asking if my friends and my husband are good to me and if I'm happy. You're not perfect, but you can't be better.
Four year old you, so little, so sweet, asking when she would get friends. Sixteen year old you, so tall, still sweet, asking if my friends and my husband are good to me and if I'm happy. You're not perfect, but you can't be better.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Fragility
A decision has been made. It was a hard decision and it took a long time.
I'm never going back there.
I got an email and I buckled down from the emotional strain ONE email caused. There were tears. Tears of anger, tears of fear, tears of confusion. A suggestion was made that I "come in and do some paperwork." My response? Similar to that of a five year old - you can't make me go in there. And I meant it. Walking into that tower? You couldn't pay me to do it.
One email. The knots in my stomach didn't go away for three days afterward. I can't go back there. I can't fathom going back there. I don't want to, but more than that? I don't think I can go back there.
I am strong, at times. But in this case, in this situation, I am weak. I am unable to cope with this and I'm going to shut down. There are some people in my life who understand this decision, others who are confused, and others who think it's cowardly to not go and "fill out the paperwork." I don't need validation. I need to move on with my life and not have a looming harm overhead.
But a decision has been made. And that decision makes me feel good.
I'm never going back there.
I got an email and I buckled down from the emotional strain ONE email caused. There were tears. Tears of anger, tears of fear, tears of confusion. A suggestion was made that I "come in and do some paperwork." My response? Similar to that of a five year old - you can't make me go in there. And I meant it. Walking into that tower? You couldn't pay me to do it.
One email. The knots in my stomach didn't go away for three days afterward. I can't go back there. I can't fathom going back there. I don't want to, but more than that? I don't think I can go back there.
I am strong, at times. But in this case, in this situation, I am weak. I am unable to cope with this and I'm going to shut down. There are some people in my life who understand this decision, others who are confused, and others who think it's cowardly to not go and "fill out the paperwork." I don't need validation. I need to move on with my life and not have a looming harm overhead.
But a decision has been made. And that decision makes me feel good.
45 x 365 #295
295/365 - HW
When people are thinking of a Fargo, Drop Dead Gorgeous kind of female character, they are thinking of you. Nordic, blonde, blue eyes, nice in the fakest way possible, uffdahs spoken unthinkingly without irony, and always good for bringing some hotdish to the next potluck.
When people are thinking of a Fargo, Drop Dead Gorgeous kind of female character, they are thinking of you. Nordic, blonde, blue eyes, nice in the fakest way possible, uffdahs spoken unthinkingly without irony, and always good for bringing some hotdish to the next potluck.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
45 x 365 #294
294/365 - AM
Empathetic and kind, but with startling bits of socioeconomic superiority. As I sat at the bus stop, you stopped your car, rolled down the window, and shouted, "only losers ride the bus," an affront not only to me, but also my fellow transit aficionados.
Empathetic and kind, but with startling bits of socioeconomic superiority. As I sat at the bus stop, you stopped your car, rolled down the window, and shouted, "only losers ride the bus," an affront not only to me, but also my fellow transit aficionados.
Monday, February 01, 2010
45 x 365 #293
293/365 - AP
You're simultaneously impatient and patient, serious and hysterical, sardonic and agreeable. Entering a conversation with you requires knowledge of every subtle facial tic and body language cue existing. Sometimes I walk away, unaware of what I have agreed to or what you think of me.
You're simultaneously impatient and patient, serious and hysterical, sardonic and agreeable. Entering a conversation with you requires knowledge of every subtle facial tic and body language cue existing. Sometimes I walk away, unaware of what I have agreed to or what you think of me.
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